As Mentioned in Episode 473 – The Baker’s Dozen (The Twelve, Part Three)

December 29, 2024 Jay Leave a comment

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You know it’s serious business when someone smashes the logo. (Uncanny X-Men #377)

How long did it take him to set up that machinery? (Uncanny X-Men #377)

He said it! He said it! (Uncanny X-Men #377)

Apocalypse’s balls. (Uncanny X-Men #377)

Apocalypse’s balls, version two. (Cable #76)

A younger Cable. (Cable #76)

Aw, man. (Cable #76)

FEELINGS. (Cable #76)

Potato snow. (Cable #76)

Maybe the bodice is scale, not quilted? But it really looks quilted. (Cable #76)

The power of continuity! (X-Men #97)

The chewy center of Apocalypse. (X-Men #97)

And THAT’S how you reference Uncanny X-Men #137. (X-Men #97)

Well, shit. (X-Men #97)

NEXT EPISODE: Jay & Miles 2024 Winter Special!

LINKS & FURTHER ADVENTURES

The Atomium is extremely cool.

473 – The Baker’s Dozen (The Twelve, Part Three)

December 29, 2024 Jay 10 comments

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In which you know it’s serious business when a logo gets smashed; the prophecy of the Twelve is an elaborate prank; we have a lot of Summers family feelings; Apocalypse is not a very good planner; and the Twelve reaches its conclusion.

X-PLAINED:

Who Madelyne Pryor’s psychic ghost really is
The story so far
Uncanny X-Men #377
Cable #76
X-Men #97
Perks of immortality
A slightly gratuitous way to destroy an airplane
Several doppelgangers
Apocalypse’s big, stupid plan
A fancy science machine
The Atomium
The Twelve
The three elements
The best issue of the Twelve
Orb action
Cable’s knowledge of history
Summers feelings
How to establish stakes
Potato storms
The mutant Skrulls (more) (again)
Cadre K
Categories of mutants
How to beta test an Armageddon machine
Alpha nerd Charles Xavier
Weaponized continuity
The color(s) of Cyclops’s eyes
How to evoke Uncanny X-Men #137
An unfortunate twist
Mundane uses of superpowers
The Altar
What would have improved the Twelve

NEXT EPISODE: Winter Special!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 472 – Leave Room for Magneto (The Twelve, Part Two)

December 22, 2024 Miles Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Intense emotion, fiddly gadgets, and dramatic narration. What more do you need? (Wolverine #146)

Gravity be damned, Nightcrawler’s going to punch some bricks and stomp some turtles. (Wolverine #146)

Generation Blue, Generation Red. (Wolverine #146)

Referencing Uncanny X-Men #211. (Wolverine #146)

Warren Kenneth Worthington III, you give that tiny caveman back his club! (Wolverine #146)

Referencing Uncanny X-Men #170. (Wolverine #146)

Referencing Uncanny X-Men #179. (Wolverine #146)

Now that is a fight scene. (Wolverine #146)

Referencing Uncanny X-Men #153. (Wolverine #146)

Referencing Uncanny X-Men #169. (Wolverine #146)

Referencing Uncanny X-Men #148. (Wolverine #146)

Referencing Uncanny X-Men #242. (Wolverine #146)

Referencing Wolverine #74. (Wolverine #146)

Neat, they’re (psychically) wearing their outfits from that time they were partners in Madripoor! (Wolverine #146)

Angel’s darkness looks like light? You know, that actually makes a lot of sense. (Wolverine #147)

Flechettes! (Wolverine #147)

Referencing… oh, wait, this one actually has a caption. (Wolverine #147)

Poor kid… (Wolverine #147)

United by trauma. (Wolverine #147)

Everyone is just so sharp on this page… (Wolverine #147)

Silhouettes: climax! (Wolverine #147)

Silhouettes: denouement! (Wolverine #147)

“Do I have to call your parents, children?” (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1999)

Heh. (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1999)

I wish we saw more of these two together. (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1999)

Damaging currency is a federal crime, Wolverine! (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1999)

This page has earned its Kirby Krackle. (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1999)

“You see, I have to be extra spooky to even out everyone else’s happiness. (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1999)

Like a hairy little astromech droid at a scomp port. (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1999)

Science! (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1999)

And they died miserably ever after. (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1999)

NEXT TIME: The Twelve concludes!

LINKS & FURTHER FELINES:

A metaphor that is also a very real space cat
Jay is delighted to have been wrong! The Philharmonic Gets Dressed is totally still in print!
Dave has been one of Jay’s comfort movies for longer than he entirely cares to admit.

472 – Leave Room for Magneto (The Twelve, Part Two)

December 22, 2024 Jay One comment

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In which the Twelve should really be twelve chapters long; Archangel has issues; we continue to bemoan the absence of captions; the X-Men ditch their crossover event for a side quest; Magneto is Genosha’s official chaperone; and we would absolutely elect Emma Frost to a school board.

X-PLAINED:

What Cable does next
The event so far
Wolverine #146-147
Uncanny X-Men Annual 1999
Whether the Shadow King is moist
Why tiny cavemen can’t have nice things
Numerous flashbacks and allusions
Archangel’s third-stage evolution
The Philharmonic Gets Dressed
Abraham Kieros (again)
Apocalypse as a self-help guru
Fully nude Wolverine
X-51 #8 (briefly)
Fabian Cortez (more) (again)
A miracle of magnetism
Scomp linking
A big fancy machine
Exodus (more) (again)
Mutants we’d like to see in public office
The (theoretical) Essex administration

NEXT EPISODE: The Twelve concludes!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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463 – The Fart Ghost That Walks Like a Manhattan

September 22, 2024 Jay 5 comments

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In which Gambit is fundamentally goofy; t’ieves love research; Magneto was ripped; Professor Xavier remains a jerk; Miles attempts to convey something very fundamentally visual in an audio format; Marrow is adorable; the X-Men pretty much disband (again); and a miniseries is the opposite of a vacation.

X-PLAINED:

Where Wolverine went
Gambit Annual 1999
Uncanny X-Men #372
X-Men #92
A lot of backstory
A very cute plastic goose
What Gambit does in his free time
Those weird fluid-filled tubes they put people in all the time for some reason
Gambit’s abs
The fart ghost (Mary Purcell)
Manhattan, Indiana
A very minor continuity error
Fart ghost metaphysics
A very bad idea
A muppetworthy death
Dream’s various ends
X-pajamas
Professional dinosaurs
Thinkers
Theoretical Cyclops-Daredevil team-ups
X-characters recognizable as civilians

NEXT EPISODE: The return of the Damocles Foundation!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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461 – Things to Do in Denver When You’re X-Force

September 1, 2024 Jay 8 comments

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In which Magneto may be right but is also wildly impractical; X-Force goes on a sneaking mission; Magneto isn’t mad, he’s just disappointed; Rictor and Shatterstar return; Strong is not a common surname in the Marvel universe; and being a mutant on TV doesn’t mean you’re one in the comics.

X-PLAINED:

How Jubilee became a vampire
The most X-treme youth of them all
X-Force 94-95
X-Force Annual 1999
Genosha
Butler disambiguation
Clown jobs
A team-up predicated on an awkward breakup
Hammer Town
Delphi
Memory boxes
Several potential continuity error
Names
Genoshan robots
Archie
A hierarchy of potential fates
Vershiagen Industries and/or Vershlagen Industries
V2
Hanrancha
Stronghold
Martin Strong
Freddie
Michelle Balters (Neurotap) (more) (again)
Communication with X-teams
A sudden and depressing resolution
Continuity across media
Why Gambit doesn’t (usually) throw tarot cards

NEXT EPISODE: The Return of the Hellions (kinda)

The visual companion to this episode will be up later this week!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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454 – X-Men ’97, Part 2

June 30, 2024 Miles 13 comments

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SPOILER WARNING: ALL OF THEM, NONSTOP

In which Barry Windsor-Smith is too sexy for television; we know what happens when unstable molecules get struck by lightning; X-Men gets political and does it spectacularly; this Captain America would not sew the cape; Magneto continues to throw things into space; and they kissed and we missed it.

X-PLAINED:

Fabian Cortez’s name
X-Men ’97 episodes 6-10
Lifedeath I & II: a surprising adaptation
Varying levels of going in blind
A somewhat different and possibly better Forge
The Adversary vs. the Owl Queen
Stormiest and least-Stormy costumes
Professor Charles Xavier, Official Space Boyfriend
Colonialism vs. Identity
Delayed catharsis
The narrative power of altered opening credits
What makes allyship effective (and not)
Justified mutant anger
The worst version of Nina DaCosta
What makes Prime Sentinels scary
Summers family feels
The best damned fight scenes out there
Bastion, robo-avatar of conservative white patriarchy
Simultaneous crossovers
A psychic gay bar
A last boss arena
Acolyte equivalencies
Phoenix Ex Machina
Crying
Whether Magneto was right
Apoca-futures and Apoca-pasts
A bulletin board and our hopes for its contents
Soft Serve
Kitty Pryde’s coffee shop AU
X-Men ’97 as the perfect gateway

NEXT EPISODE: Skrulls!

LINKS AND FURTHER READING:

The Judgment of Magneto by Asher Elbein

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As Mentioned in Episode 452 – Hot Nothing

June 9, 2024 Jay 2 comments

Listen to the podcast here.

That can’t be comfortable. (Magneto Rex #1)

One way to put a fire out. (Magneto Rex #1)

Phillip Moreau and Jenny Ransome. (Magneto Rex #1)

This freakin’ loser. (Magneto Rex #1)

The Zealot. (Magneto Rex #1)

Uncool, dude. (Magneto Rex #1)

Ferris endures. (Magneto Rex #2)

“You may have the Legacy Virus, but the L is still for ‘loser.'” (Magneto Rex #2)

This would have been way more dramatic if he’d been naked, right? (Magneto Rex #2)

That’s certainly one way to deal with your problems. (Magneto Rex #3)

That is in fact exactly what he means. (Magneto Rex #3)

NEXT EPISODE: X-Men ’97!

LINKS & OTHER ACADEMIA:

The book Jay mentioned is The Metaphysics of Fiction, by Amie L. Thomasson
Star Trek: Into Darkness was not a very good movie.

452 – Hot Nothing

June 9, 2024 Jay 9 comments

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In which Magneto is not full of mirth; nobody real or fictional likes Fabian Cortez; when you’re a speedster, every problem is a metaphorical nail; The Zealot makes some valid points; and when Quicksilver declares himself your conscience, it’s time to examine your life.

X-PLAINED:

How Magneto got his powers back
Morally ambiguous hair
Genosha (more) (again)
Magneto Rex #1-3
Magneto vs. Conan
Trish Tilby
Omniscient narrative condemnation
Magneto’s true archfoe
Magistrates (more) (again)
Mutates (more) (again)
Dr. Alda Huxley
Phillip Moreau (more) (again)
Jenny Ransome (more) (again)
Pipeline (Cormac Grimshaw)
Teleportational nudity
The Zealot
Fabian Cortez (more) (again)
Amelia Voght (more) (again)
Several of Magneto’s on-again-off-again children
The Bastille (but not that one)
Mutant numbering
When to use full frontal nudity in your comic
The X-books we’re not covering
The Amulet of Right vs the Sword of Might

NEXT EPISODE: X-Men ’97!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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