For the record: I am not even a little bit sorry. -Rachel
Art by David Wynne. We’re not selling prints of this one, but you can still hit David up for the original!
Many thanks to Kris Anka, Marguerite Bennett, Kieron Gillen, and Peter Nguyen! (I have no idea why this photo keeps displaying upside down, but at this point, I’m just gonna keep running with it.)
NEXT WEEK: Rachel and Miles Recap 51 episodes in under an hour.
In which Rachel and Miles go to Emerald City Comicon; six people try to share one microphone with varying success; you will never love anything as much as Kris loves Broo; Marguerite may or may not be a time-traveling supervillain; Peter is Laser Guy; Kieron joins an X-team; Hell is other X-Men; everyone lies egregiously; and it all comes back to Namor’s abs.
Special thanks to Jean, who let us borrow her mic and pop filter at the very last second when we realized we’d left ours in Portland! <3
X-PLAINED:
Namor’s last name
Several Secret Wars titles
Wiz Kid
Favorite characters
Lady Deathstrike’s new look
Seanan McGuire’s cats
Machetes of Future Past
Emily Aster
Asteroid P
Secret origins
Points of entry
Headcanon
The Wolverine and the X-Men Season 2 that might have been
The pros and cons of an isolated X-universe
The X-Istentialists
Hela’s Angels
Namor’s abs
What defines the X-Men
Mr. Sinister
Our X-movie wish lists
Wes Anderson’s X-Men (both of them)
NEXT WEEK: Previously on Rachel & Miles X-Plain the X-Men…
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 2/1/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends (but not in that order).
Context is irrelevant. (Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends)
“John, dude, can we talk about the fact that you just turned into a fucking bear? No? Okay.” Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends
“It means you’ll be hated and feared! Isn’t that wonderful?” (Firestar #1)
“Professor, is it true what they say about exposition in X-books?” (Firestar #1)
Wait ’til they find out she hasn’t even read Carlyle! (Firestar #1)
Oh. Angelica. Honey. No. (Firestar #1)
I’m pretty sure there’s a Talking Heads music video that starts exactly like this. (Firestar #1)
DON’T TRUST HER, ANGELICA! SHE’LL BLOW UP YOUR HORSE! (Firestar #1)
This horse’s name is Butter Rum. Don’t get too attached. (Firestar #2)
The Emma Frost who actually cares about her students did not make her first appearance until some years later. This Emma Frost is just an unapologetic monster. (Firestar #2)
Emma Frost is the best evil narrator. (Firestar #2)
“What could POSSIBLY go wrong?” (Firestar #2)
Miles ‘ships it SO hard. (Firestar #2)
That horror-movie WHINNEY! in the last panel, though. (Firestar #2)
Remember that time Emma Frost convinced a vulnerable teenage girl that she had killed her beloved horse by becoming sexually aroused? BECAUSE THAT DEFINITELY HAPPENED. (Firestar #2)
“What? This? Oh, no, I build killer robots of ALL my friends.” (Firestar #3)
AHAHAHA OH RANDALL YOU’RE SO DOOMED (Firestar #3)
Firestar X-Plains X-Men #193. (Firestar #3)
Seriously, I’m pretty sure Angelica’s dad being kind of a dick to her is the only thing that saves him from CERTAIN DOOM. (Firestar #3)
(He feels bad about it, though, so he still gets beaten up in the airport.) (Firestar #3)
Why does she throw her drink? We may never know. (Firestar #3)
And then she just straight-up breaks into “Stars” from Les Mis. (Firestar #4)
So sinister! (Firestar #4)
And that’s the end of Randall. (Firestar #4)
Fight scene, or breakin’ it down on the dance floor? YOU BE THE JUDGE! (Firestar #4)
For full effect, you have to imagine Firestar’s dialogue read by Alison Brie as Annie Edison. (Firestar #4)
In which Miles has a brush with nostalgia; Angelica Jones is secretly a Thomas Hardy protagonist; it doesn’t need to make sense if it’s awesome; and Emma Frost really needs a mustache to twirl.
X-Plained:
Trevor Fitzroy
Firestar (Angelica Jones)
Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends
Nostalgia
X-Men, if sometimes the main characters were bears
Inexplicably Australian Wolverine
Ms. Lion
Marvel Divas
Sudsy fun
Superhero sitcoms
Firestar #1-4
Basic palmistry
Generic mean girls
Coen Brothers YA
The reinvention of Emma Frost
Some epic gaslighting
Butter Rum
Mutivac
Miles’s favorite star-crossed ‘ship
Why Thunderbird I has stayed dead
Contextual definitions of “organic”
NEXT WEEK: Secret Wars
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Just in case you’ve forgotten, Team America is–inexplicably–still around. (New Mutants #8)
“Not only did I spill my soul to you thinking you didn’t speak English, but it turned out your outfit was also really fucking racist. THANKS, AMARA.” (New Mutants #8)
Well, then. (New Mutants #10)
You do you, Selene. (New Mutants #10)
Magma’s best superpower is her op-art form. (New Mutants #11)
Remember the time the New Mutants straight-up murdered someone? Because that happened. (New Mutants #11)
This better be a Magnum, P.I. reference. (New Mutants #12)
Meanwhile at Project Wideawake, things are not going quote as planned. (New Mutants #13)
Somewhere in the multiverse, there’s a universe that’s exactly like Earth 616 in every way except that Kitty and Doug’s code names are Acid Burn and Zero Cool. (New Mutants #13)
Return of Those Kids at the Mall. (New Mutants #14)
X-MEN! (New Mutants #14)
Have we mentioned that we love Emma Frost? We love Emma Frost. Also: Kitty’s got a new costume. Drink! (New Mutants #16)
“This is even more awkward than the time we walked in on Bobby telling a photo of Magnum, P.I. that he wished he was his real dad.” (New Mutants #16)
Sam Guthrie: Best Kid, or Best Kid? Best Kid. (New Mutants #16)
Amara Aquilla: Horta. (New Mutants #16)
Are the Hellions evil, or just kinda New-Wave? You be the judge! (New Mutants #17)
We cannot overemphasize the extent to which New Mutants is a school drama at this point. (New Mutants #17)
MAGNUM, P.I.! (New Mutants #17)
They may be evil, but they’re not wrong. (New Mutants #17)
We passed your stealth and plainclothes cosplay contest entries along to X-Pert Judge Kris Anka, and he sent us back two winners: Congratulaions to lilpeepeedanceofdoom as plainclothes Gold Balls (you can read more about his costume here), and Elle as stealth Excalibur-era Shadowcat! (We’ll be getting in touch with you shortly with prize details!) Thanks again to contest sponsor TV Store Online, and judge Kris Anka–and be sure to swing by the blog early next week to see a roundup of all the amazing finalists!
Next week: Chekhov’s Raygun, time travel, and tiny shorts!
In which the New Mutants are the Bobbsey Twins to the X-Men’s Sam Spade; Nina da Costa is Ms. Frizzle; New Mutants does a Rachel-and-Miles cold open; Selene is the Elizabeth Bathory of lava; Rahne likes Sam, Sam likes Amara, Dani likes Bobby, and Bobby likes everyone; Gil and Art are no Harvey and Janet; Miles has a Del Preston moment, Magma is a Horta; and if something super happens, you should tell a super adult.
X-Plained:
Selene
Externals
New Mutants #7-17
The da Costa family
Axe
Some really dubious cosmetic choices
Nova Roma
Amara Aquilla (Magma)
Op-art as a superpower
Doug Ramsey’s hair
The Massachusetts Academy
New-Wave Superteens
Deflection
The Hellions
Not-Particularly-Secret Origins of the Hellfire Club
Publishing schedules
Next Week: Lifedeath, time travel, and Forge’s tiny shorts.
You can find a visual companion to the episode – as well as links to recommended reading and the winners of the stealth / plainclothes cosplay contest – on our blog.
We’ve been talking up the Stealth/Plainclothes cosplay contest a lot lately (reminder: deadline is Friday, November 7!), but right in the middle of that came Halloween–and our listeners turned out in some stellar X-wear. Check it out:
If you’re playing along with the Kitty’s Costumes game, take a drink: Meghan Ansbach made Kitty’s one-off costume from Uncanny X-Men #175!
Everything fell into place for Elle Collins‘s Domino costume! (If the name sounds familiar, we’ve mentioned Elle here before–she hosts the kickass pop-culture-obsession podcast Into It.)
In which we sit down with two of our favorite X-artists for an hour of continuity, character design, and a lot of wine; Corsair is the coolest; Emma Frost is a secret viewpoint character; Bishop is the anti-Booster Gold; Adam X the X-Treme gets a new hat; and none of us know how to pronounce “Bachalo.”
X-Plained:
The secret X-origins of Kris Anka and Russell Dauterman
Definitive books and artists
Favorite characters and series
Mephistoid spacesuit logistics
Emma Frost as a reader stand-in
The secret origin of Psylocke’s pants
Uncanny X-Men
The best flashback montage ever
Underappreciated / underdeveloped characters
All the Rogues
Plot twists
Bishop
Dream teams
Sexy dudes with sexy abs
How to update Adam X the X-Treme
Next Week: What’s New, Shadowcat?
You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.
When we say that Quentin Quire has the same fashion sense as Rachel, this is not what we’re talking about. (Wolverine and the X-Men #3)
Seriously. She’s never going to take it off again.
YAYBO! Thanks to your support, we’ve unlocked a bunch of very cool milestone goals on Patreon, from weekly video reviews of current X-books, to original illustrations, written posts, giant-size semiannuals, and more!
Why we can’t have nice things. (House of M #7)
As promised, from Uncanny X-Men #497.
Cyclops seems to like the premise of Schism about as much as we do.
We were going to photoshop word balloons in so Cap was yelling “What are we fighting about, again?” and Cyclops was yelling, “I have no idea!” but we ran out of time, so I guess just take that as read.
Yeah, that’ll end well, Iron Man. (Avengers vs. X-Men #5)
AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE! (Avengers vs. X-Men #11)
This moment has shown up in flashbacks in something like four books so far this month, so it’s probably gonna be PRETTY RELEVANT in the near future. (Avengers vs. X-Men #11)
Pretty much everything you need to know about Battle of the Atom. (Wolverine and the X-Men #37)
This was the only yearbook photo we could find with both of us in it. TRIVIA: Can you spot the other current comics-industry pro in this photo?
Aw, bros. (Wolverine and the X-Men #40)
Oh, that’ll be awkward. (Uncanny X-Men #23)
There are… kind of a lot of X-Men books currently coming out.
A reasonably comprehensive list of current X-titles.
We are 100% with Cyclops on this. (Wolverine and the X-Men #40)
Heh. (Schism #1)
Next week: Rogue! And space adventures! And Carol Danvers!
Also next week: Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men on Comics Alliance! It’ll go up here, as well as iTunes and Stitcher, at the usual time, but you’ll also be able to catch new episodes every Thursday at ComicsAlliance.com!
Bonus not-at-SDCC cosplay pics: Miles as Starman…
…and Rachel as space-pirate-in-a-polo-shirt teenage Cyclops.