Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: Dungeons & Dragons

As Mentioned in Episode 72 – Thrown Under the Plot Bus

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Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 8/30/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Mutant X Cyclops is the best Cyclops.
Surprise Walter Simons cover! YAYBO! (Uncanny X-Men #217)
The Opening Gimmick Who Cried Wolf. (Uncanny X-Men #217)
Banshee is good at adulting. (Uncanny X-Men #217)
“Seriously, guys, it’s like the whole theme of the book. I mean, aside from fighting to protect a world that hates and fears us.” (Uncanny X-Men #217)
Whether Douglas the Gentle Freak is the Doonesbury-universe version of Cypher remains a mystery. (We’d like to think so, though.)
Damn, Callisto. That’s cold. (Uncanny X-Men #217)
You do you, Alison. (Uncanny X-Men #217)
2/3 of Juggernaut fights begin with some variation of this scene (kilt negotiable). (Uncanny X-Men #217)
Um. (Uncanny X-Men #217)
NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE (Uncanny X-Men #217)
I don’t know if there’s a word for what’s going on with Rogue’s hair, but it is AMAZING. (Uncanny X-Men #218)
AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE! (Uncanny X-Men #218)
“Y’all enjoy your group hug. I’m just gonna FLING THIS FUCKING ROCK INTO SPACE.” (Uncanny X-Men #218)
Aw, Longshot. (Uncanny X-Men #218)
I know this story is all about teamwork, but Rogue definitely wins MVP of Uncanny X-Men #218.
‘Kay. (Uncanny X-Men #218)
The really great thing about this reference is that there’s also a Brigadier Lethbridge Stuart running around UK-616. I bet they get each other’s mail all the time. (Uncanny X-Men #218)
Hope you enjoyed it while it lasted, Havok! (Uncanny X-Men #218)
Car Wreck Sex: The Alex Summers Story. (Uncanny X-Men #218)
This plotline will continue to dangle for like a year and a half. (Uncanny X-Men #218)
Take a drink. (Uncanny X-Men #219)
Damn, kid. (Uncanny X-Men #219)
Please let us know if you can work out the timeline here, because we’ve basically stopped sleeping, and it’s not pretty. (Uncanny X-Men #219)
I always figured Magneto would have way nicer penmanship than this. (Uncanny X-Men #219)
Lorna, you can FUCK WITH MAGNETIC FIELDS WITH YOUR MIND, AND ONE TIME YOU THREW AN ISLAND INTO SPACE. Are you really that surprised at a freak earthquake? (Uncanny X-Men #219)
If the X-line were a sitcom, they’d totally have cut from here to Scott arguing with hallucinations over in X-Factor. (Uncanny X-Men #219)
It’s okay. Everyone will be too distracted by your hat to notice the tights. (Uncanny X-Men #219)
Our heroes and yours! (Uncanny X-Men #219)
THAT. HAIR. (Uncanny X-Men #219)
NEXT WEEK: Origins of X-Men: Evolution, with Robert N. Skir!

FURTHER LISTENING:

  • Special thanks to the wonderful Adam Warrock for letting us sample his song “Teamwork” in this episode! You can listen to the full track here, and find more of Adam’s work at adamwarrock.com!

72 – Thrown Under the Plot Bus

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Podcast: Play in new window | Download

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 9/6/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 9/6/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

 

In which Dazzler is not a team player; Longshot is the Zonker Harris of the X-Men; Juggernaut is That Guy; Rachel and Miles channel Statler and Waldorf; and Alex Summers is seriously never, ever going to finish grad school.

X-PLAINED:

  • Mutant X
  • The only well-adjusted Scott Summers in the Multiverse
  • The Goblin Entity
  • Uncanny X-Men #217-219
  • The evolution of the X-Men’s lineup
  • Standards for a good twist
  • Doonesbury
  • Several Dungeons & Dragons analogies
  • A dubious literary allusion
  • Flying jeeps
  • CrimeBros
  • The fundamental tragedy of Longshot
  • Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart and several homages thereto
  • Geordie and Rupert
  • Havok (more) (again)
  • Car-wreck sex
  • An unfortunate end to a camping trip
  • The Plot Bus
  • Several ways to stat Rogue up as a D&D character
  • Narrative-friendly power sets

Special thanks to:

  • The wonderful Adam Warrock, for letting us sample his song “Teamwork” in this episode! You can listen to the full track here, and find more of Adam’s work at adamwarrock.com.
  • Harrison Barber for his X-Pert D&D advice (not to mention nearly fifteen years of tolerating our nonsense at the gaming table)!

NEXT WEEK: X-Men: Evolution with Robert N. Skir!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

August 2015 Shirt of the Month: X-Gamers

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shirt

Who needs a Danger Room when you can hone your battlefield skills AND rack up EXP against a Beholder? The X-Men gather ‘round the gaming table for some all-new, all-different training in August’s shirt of the month, featuring art by David Wynne!

the game transparency

 

In addition to covering your torso and impressing your friends and neighbors, the August, 2015 shirt of the months grants +1 on continuity-related checks.* It’s available on a wide variety of wearables, including kids’ clothes; as well as tote bags, travel mugs, and stickers!

NOTE: This is a limited-run shirt! It will DISAPPEAR FOREVER from the shop on September 1, 2015; get ’em while they last!

*Results not guaranteed in actual gameplay. Always run house rules by your GM. Not recommended for use against gazebos.

As Mentioned in Episode 34 – Mordenkainen’s Marvelous Mutants

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Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints available here through Sunday, December 14!
Remember when missing twin towers always signified a horrible post-apocalyptic future? (Uncanny X-Men #189)
Rachel Summers, in her Hound uniform. (Uncanny X-Men #189)
Kids, if a necklace you find in a fish talks to you, DON’T LISTEN. (Uncanny X-Men #189)
Oh. You, again. (Uncanny X-Men #189)
Moments when the Hellfire Club and the X-Men just really want to not talk about this and go back to whatever they were doing are pretty much the best X-Men/Hellfire Club moments. (Uncanny X-Men #189)
Lookit all those temporal references! (Uncanny X-Men #189)
Imagining Kid Miles diving into X-Men with this issue: never not funny. (Uncanny X-Men #190)
Well, then. (Uncanny X-Men #190)
But.. isn’t that basically what Vision normally wears? (Uncanny X-Men #190)
Callisto: Pure awesome in any universe. (Uncanny X-Men #190)
What. (Uncanny X-Men #190)
CAPTAIN AMERICA WE LOVE YOU (Uncanny X-Men #190)
This fucking recap page. (Uncanny X-Men #191)
Warlock-o-Vision! (Uncanny X-Men #191)
Remember that time Spider-Man got actually literally crucified in a CCA-approved comic? Because that definitely happened. (Uncanny X-Men #191)
Warlock is not only the best friendly space teenager, but also the best jetpack. (Uncanny X-Men #191)
Oh. That guy. (Uncanny X-Men #191)
LOOK AT THIS ANGRY SPACE ROBOT AND HIS AMAZING TECHNOORGANIC BEARD (Uncanny X-Men #192)
In which the X-Men absolutely fail at hide-and-seek in just about every possible way. (Uncanny X-Men #192)
Not only is Illyana a badass demon sorceress and teleporter, but her taste in movies is impeccable. (Uncanny X-Men #192)
HERE HAVE SOME MORE TECHNOORGANIC SPACE BEARD (Uncanny X-Men #192)
Rogue goes Technarch, is adorable. (Uncanny X-Men #192)
SPAAAAAAAAACE BEEEEEEEEEEEEEARD (Uncanny X-Men #192)
He’s such a parent. (Uncanny X-Men #192)
Don’t worry. Later, the Morlocks find him, fix him up, and dress him in elaborate bondage gear. (Uncanny X-Men #192)
MERRY CHRISTMAS, X-MEN! (Uncanny X-Men #192)
Next week: Welcome to the Heartbreak Hotel.

Links and Further Reading:

  • In Episode 34, we answered a question from a listener looking for textual evidence that Nightcrawler isn’t homophobic (we pointed them to Amazing X-Men #13). Rachel also discussed that question from a different angle–and at considerably more length–on the blog.
  • Diana: Warrior Princess is both an incredibly fun game setting and a brilliant piece of cultural satire.
  • We are big fans of both the Gamers movies and the humans responsible for them.
  • Rachel and Elle talk a lot of shit about Hank Pym in Episode 4 of Into It.

34 – Mordenkainen’s Marvelous Mutants

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Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

Warlock The Barbarian
Art by David Wynne. Prints available here through Sunday, December 14!

In which we venture forth into an age undreamed of, there are so many reasons to have Northstar on your team, Selene is the worst guest, Rachel X-Plains Conan, Cyttorak is the Mordenkainen of the Marvel Universe, Miles loves Doctor Strange, we have some fairly serious Captain America feelings, the X-Men completely fail at hide-and-seek, and we make more D&D references in one episode than in the previous 34 combined.

X-Plained

  • Northstar
  • Beard privilege
  • X-Men 189-192
  • Anachronistic timeline markers
  • Hounds
  • The Culture Shock Class
  • An Age Undreamed of
  • Conan disambiguation
  • Red Sonja vs. Red Sonya
  • Kulan Gath
  • Marvel Team-Up #79
  • Barbarian Avengers
  • Why we love Captain America
  • Several haircuts
  • WiFi sorcery
  • A really good inspirational speech
  • The inevitable cephalopod revolution
  • Why Hank Pym is the absolute worst
  • Claudication
  • Hide-and-seek
  • How Rachel Summers actually traveled back in time
  • Magus
  • Warlock, Adam Warlock, and their respective Magi
  • Politics, religion, and Nightcrawler

Edited to Add: In this episode, we answered a question from a listener looking for textual evidence that Nightcrawler isn’t homophobic (we pointed them to Amazing X-Men #13). We also discussed that question from a different angle–and at considerably more length–on the blog.

Next Week: Dazzler: The Movie!

You can find a visual companion to the episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Support us on Patreon!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!