Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: Douglock

As Mentioned in Episode 456 – Until/Unless

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Techno-organic cover #1! (Uncanny X-Men #371)
Cheer up, Chuck – it’s just naptime at your school! I guess they all forgot their red and blue mats. (Uncanny X-Men #371)
I’m not so sure about this plot development, but… she’s just so happy! (Uncanny X-Men #371)
Hey, don’t judge: you look way grosser under your outer layer. (Uncanny X-Men #371)
“Dis was not in Gambit’s horoscope!” (Uncanny X-Men #371)
The Phalanx Covenant by Doctor Seuss. (Uncanny X-Men #371)
Techno-organic cover #2! (X-Men #91)
Take that, Billy G! You know what you did. (X-Men #91)
I love these weird faces and terrifying bone-trees! (X-Men #91)
Oof, brutal. (But nice dress, Rogue!) (X-Men #91)
URRKK indeed! (X-Men #91)
And for one panel, we were joined by the spirit of Bill Sienkiewicz. (X-Men #91)
Techno-organic cover #3! Yep, that’s Colossus’s arm from the last cover – we didn’t realize they connected until our listener Alex pointed it out on the blog! (X-Men Annual 1999)
This montage is way more efficient at describing continuity than our podcast. (X-Men Annual 1999)
Colonel Nicholas J. Fury, leading with guns and crotch. (X-Men Annual 1999)
Red Skull loves the Power Glove. It’s so bad. (X-Men Annual 1999)
Miles learned about the field of neurosurgery’s Thumbtack Technique back in college. (X-Men Annual 1999)
Go, Gadget, Go! (X-Men Annual 1999)
Yes, we know Douglock’s robo-suspenders started out as a miscoloring of his New Mutants uniform, but… they kinda work? (X-Men Annual 1999)
None of these new series will make it past a year. (X-Men Annual 1999)
NEXT TIME: Cecilia’s back!

456 – Until/Unless

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In which there’s nothing inherently wrong with monster-of-the-week; Marrow’s makeover extends to her font; Red Skull gets a Power Glove; Marvel sets up a slate of spinoffs; and you should hire Matt Hunter to produce your podcast!

X-PLAINED:

  • What Danger’s been up to lately
  • Uncanny X-Men #371
  • X-Men #91
  • X-Men Annual 1999
  • Crossover cover design
  • Skrullverine
  • Machine Man
  • Dethlok vs. Dethklok
  • Jack Truman (Agent 18) (to some extent)
  • A nice dress
  • An awkward reunion
  • Gambit as a mentor
  • Billy G.
  • A daring but silly rescue
  • Several upcoming series
  • Marrow’s bone bikini and/or pubes
  • Whether Rogue can absorb animals

NEXT EPISODE: Cecilia Reyes returns from retirement!

Want to hire J&MXPtXM producer Matt Hunter to produce your podcast? Email him!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 428 – Naked in a Cake

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So who is that in the cake? (Excalibur #124)
A bridal shower! (Excalibur #124)
A bachelor party! (Excalibur #124)
Seriously, why is this a thing (Excalibur #124)
Yep, we’ve missed the Crazy Gang. (Excalibur #124)
Awk-ward (Excalibur #124)
To answer Suzy Eddie Izzard’s question: cake and death! (Excalibur #124)
And then Feron’s life got even worse. (Excalibur #124)
And a good time was had by all… especially Captain UK and Mimic, I assume. (Excalibur #124)
Love and chaos. (Excalibur #125)
Cameos! (Excalibur #125)
More cameos! (Excalibur #125)
I have questions about this pipe organ. (Excalibur #125)
Healthy… communication? Is that a thing in the Marvel Universe? Is that allowed? (Excalibur #125)
WHO INVITED THE NAZIS (Excalibur #125)
And have they ever earned it. (Excalibur #125)
Gatecrasher has the weeds! (Excalibur #125)
Lockheed, I know you want Piotr and Kitty to get together, but I assure you this will not work out. (Excalibur #125)
Nobody does wedding receptions like the Starlight Citadel of Otherworld. (Excalibur #125)
Man, that really is a shockingly tiny invitation. (Excalibur #125)
See, Feron? Just because everyone forgets about you doesn’t mean you have to jump out of a cake to try to murder people! (Excalibur #125)
Saturnyne, this is literally the worst possible time. (Excalibur #125)
Kurt, this is… also not a great time. (Excalibur #125)
Dammit, now I’m tearing up. (Excalibur #125)
And that, as they say, is that. (Excalibur #125)
NEXT TIME: X-Factor is back! Kind of!

428 – Naked in a Cake

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Love and chaos. (Excalibur #125)

In which you shouldn’t invite nazis to your wedding, there’s a lot of multiverse, Captain Britain and Meggan are pretty heteronormative but make it work, everybody forgot Feron, and the next husband will be Gatecrasher’s.

X-PLAINED:

  • Captain Britain varieties
  • The history of Brian Braddock and Meggan Puceanu, abridged
  • Excalibur #124-125
  • Mutants most likely to jump out of a cake
  • The Crazy Gang (again)
  • Meggan’s crush on Colossus
  • Colossus’s guilt about Meggan’s crush on Colossus
  • A surprise bridal shower
  • The return of Captain UK
  • Brian Braddock’s teetotaling techniques
  • Mimic’s ever-changing facial hair
  • Glorious, glorious chaos
  • Poor, poor Feron
  • Multiple awkward conversations
  • The return of Widget and also everyone else
  • Lightning Force (dammit)
  • A lengthy but not exhaustive list of Captains Britain
  • So many cameos
  • …Seriously, so many cameos
  • Dai Thomas’s anti-iron
  • Shockingly healthy communication
  • Bouquet brawls and garter gar-nage
  • A bittersweet ending
  • Nightcrawler’s best outfit
  • The universe where the X-Men X-Plain Jay & Miles
  • Our hypothetical post-finale Excalibur lineup

NEXT EPISODE: The return of X-Factor! Kind of!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 423 – Moby Dick Ice Cream

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Probably not even the fanciest trash can on Muir Island. (Excalibur #121)
She’s fun. (Excalibur #121)
It’s no SMEK, but it’ll do.
What’s doubly interesting about this is that David’s personality isn’t actually there. (Excalibur #121)
And off they go. (Excalibur #121)
Hmm. (Excalibur #122)
That’s a lot of hair. (Excalibur #122)
Spoiler: Not actually the X-Men. (Excalibur #122)
The Mimic and his beard. (Excalibur #122)
The sound of love. (Excalibur #122)
Aw, those wacky kids. (Excalibur #123)
The now-beardless Mimic. (Excalibur #123)
NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor explodes.

423 – Moby Dick Ice Cream

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In which subtlety is not Sabra’s strong point; Moira takes a vacation; Meggan broods; you should take care in referencing the Dark Phoenix Saga; Excalibur may or may not shave Mimic; and Captain Britain is a silly man.

X-PLAINED:

  • Ghosts
  • Excalibur #121-123
  • The Mutant Underground
  • Empathic recon
  • An extremely disgruntled kiss
  • Kitty’s new costume
  • Several of Legion’s personalities
  • A mysterious disk
  • A very fancy trash can and/or ice cream maker
  • Ice cream of Cloud City
  • A good dog
  • Remains of Operation Zero Tolerance
  • The devolution of Douglock
  • Mimic (Calvin Rankin)
  • Mimic’s facial hair
  • Some Prime Sentinels
  • Wedding planning
  • Liking parts of things
  • Villains who want to marry Storm
  • Maddy Pryor

NEXT EPISODE: The end of X-Factor!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 416 – The Screaming Room

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Okay, but it’s pretty fucking creepy as a toy, too. (Excalibur #118)
Aaaaand there he goes. (Excalibur #118)
Meanwhile in AWESOME. (Excalibur #118)
Oh, THAT guy. (Excalibur #118)
Nightcrawler’s nightmare. (Excalibur #119)
Colossus’s nightmare. (Excalibur #119)
Shadowcat’s nightmare. (Excalibur #119)
Douglock’s nightmare. (Excalibur #119)
Meggan’s nightmare, featuring a whole lot of great cameos! (Excalibur #119)
I’m not a smoker, but I wanna learn to blow smoke rings like that. (Excalibur #119)
Ouch. (Excalibur #120)
NEXT EPISODE: Why, indeed.

416 – The Screaming Room

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In which we are incapable of X-Plaining the Great Lakes Avengers; Pete Wisdom evolves; Douglock hacks the island; Nightcrawler cosplays Nightcrawler; and we find ourselves bafflingly defensive of the Bamfs.

X-PLAINED:

  • How to recruit Unus the Untouchable to your super-team
  • What Excalibur has been up to
  • Excalibur #118-120
  • An excellent use of danger room technology
  • Some fairly deft metacommentary
  • Colossus vs. another tree
  • Bamfs and the character assassination thereof
  • Nightmare
  • Characterization via lettering
  • Several nightmare scenarios
  • Pete Wisdom vs. Nightmare
  • Meggan’s true form (again)
  • A poorly conceived romantic gesture
  • Foreshadowing
  • Relative Bamf quality
  • Other Marvel villains we’d like to see menace the X-Men
  • Our thoughts on Legion and The Gifted

NEXT EPISODE: A pterodactyl with a gun!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 402 – What the Damn?!

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Shadowcat, Douglock, and… Hard-Boiled Harry?! (Excalibur #114)
Sari St. Hubbins, Fashion Plate: Part 1. (Excalibur #114)
Colossus would have bought a hat too, but then where would he keep all that hair? (Excalibur #114)
Captain Mustache, Part the First. (Excalibur #114)
I’m a firestarter, twisted firestarter (Excalibur #114)
Katherine Pryde, experienced superhero. (Excalibur #114)
Sari St. Hubbins, Fashion Plate: Part 2. (Excalibur #114)
Captain Mustache, Part the Second. (Excalibur #115)
Banshee is so muscly! And his cape is so foldy! (Excalibur #115)
Mel Rubi’s Douglock. (Excalibur #115)
Miles’s average day in IT looks pretty much like this. (Excalibur #115)
“Plus some Externals, but… I don’t think any of us really want to spent the time to talk about them.” (Excalibur #115)
He is so sweet. (Excalibur #115)
“Freakin’ last boss of Ninja Gaiden sends me all the way back to the beginning of the level even when I still have lives left..!” (Excalibur #115)
When Meggan’s happy, I’m happy. (Excalibur #115)
Aww jeez you two (Excalibur #115)
It’s been an honor, Shepherd. (Excalibur #115)
Check out that sweet shadow-invisible hand! (Excalibur #116)
Mel Rubi does Paul Smith. (Excalibur #116)
Where did that costume end up? You should break it out again, Captain Kate! (Excalibur #116)
So that mutagenic agent made the Sidri… swole? (Excalibur #116)
“It’s-a-me, Stereotype!” (Excalibur #116)
Pete Wisdom in: Terminator 2. (Excalibur #116)
Triple-wielding! (Excalibur #116)
Additional swordplay – this time, in callback form! (Excalibur #116)
They pulled his collectivism out through his belly button..? (Excalibur #116)
Hey, that’s not what Kitty wears in her SHIELD miniseries! Kinda wish it was, though. (Excalibur #116)
NEXT EPISODE: Kitty Pryde goes to work for The Man

402 – What the Damn?!

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Captain Mustache, Part the Second. (Excalibur #115)

In which Marvel UK was a wild ride; everyone has a definitive Kitty Pryde; Sari St. Hubbins studies her X-Men; Moira MacTaggert discovers contagion theory; ideas do not stories make; Meggan is the heart of the team; and Excalibur inches towards its finale.

X-PLAINED:
  • Marvel UK
  • Digitek
  • Excalibur #114-117
  • What Excalibur’s been up to
  • Tunnels vs. sewers
  • An unexpected callback
  • Slang
  • The mutability of Kitty Pryde
  • Friendship
  • Sari St. Hubbins
  • Fashion
  • One way to get around a power inhibitor
  • A frosted tips outline
  • Viruses
  • Phalanx love
  • Greebling
  • A substantial retcon
  • Excalibur vs. the Sidri
  • Marvel characters’ musical associations
  • Whether there have been more X-Men or Avengers
NEXT EPISODE: Kitty Pryde goes to work for The Man

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!