Doug Ramsey – Page 3 – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 256 – Mullets of Time and Space

July 14, 2019 Jay 3 comments

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Always aspire to a higher level of time paradox! (Excalibur #75)

How much extra creepiness does this already creepy scene get from the bolding of “his”? (Excalibur #75)

It’s his girlfriend. He called and asked her to come over. There is literally no reason that this should be so mysterious and pseudo-suspenseful. (Excalibur #75)

You do you, Amanda. (Excalibur #75)

PITCH: “What if only Captain Britain’s arms had returned from the timestream?” (Excalibur #75)

If you need me, I will be over here having FEELINGS about the lack of official acknowledgement of this relationship. (Excalibur #75)

“I was going to have some really dubious facial hair.” (Excalibur #75)

This better be worth it. (Excalibur #75)

[Ron Howard narrator voice] It was not worth it. (Excalibur #75)

GET IT? GET IT? GET IT? (Excalibur #75)

I hope you’re happy in the life you’ve chosen for yourself. (Excalibur #76)

“I mean, for some value of the term.” (Excalibur #76)

Well, that’s portentous. (Excalibur #76)

This is UNQUESTIONABLY the face of a man who has attempted to eat a toaster, a tube of lipstick, and several telephones. (Excalibur #76)

Nightcrawler, in his moppet days. (Excalibur #76)

I don’t understand D’Spayre’s torso muscles; and, frankly, I don’t care to. (Excalibur #76)

SEE WHAT I MEAN?! (Excalibur #77)

D’Spayre’s only weaknesses are joy and, by remarkable coincidence, children named Amil. (Excalibur #77)

WHAT?! (Excalibur #77)

The cutest pin-up. (Excalibur #77)

NEXT EPISODE: The adventures of Rachel Summers in the 37th Century!

LINKS & FURTHER LISTENING:

You can hear all about D’Spayre’s first clash with the X-Men (or at least one of them) in Episode 14 – Look Upon My Man-Thing and D’Spayre!
We talked about the time Margali Szardos build Nightcrawler his own private hell in Episode 134 – Live at Vegas Valley Comic Book Festival.

256 – Mullets of Time and Space

July 14, 2019 Jay 16 comments

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In which you raised a lot of money for Trans Lifeline; we continue to miss Alan Davis; Rory Campbell should not be narrating a climactic event; Daytripper needs to dial up her eldritch patter; the universe is dubiously self-correcting; Britannic is not nearly weird enough; and we have ongoing concerns about the anatomy of incarnate concepts.

X-PLAINED:

The X-Men of Earth-77995
Excalibur #75-77
Daytripper
A somewhat pointless sacrifice
Rough times in the timestream
Britannic
X-theology
D’Spayre’s butt
The rest of D’Spayre
Margali Szardos
The blood-brain barrier
Acrobatic flirtation
The Winding Way
Stark emptiness
A shocking possible resurrection
Major X
Essential characters

NEXT EPISODE: The Adventures of Rachel Summers in the 37th Century!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

152 – Ghosts of Future Present

March 27, 2017 Jay 58 comments

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Art by David Wynne. Contact David to purchase the original!

In which Franklin Richards makes everything more complicated; Reed Richards is a terrible parent; Days of Future Present is a surprisingly good ghost story; Valeria Richards is awesome (but does not appear in this crossover); everyone’s got hounds these days; Banshee is your sad cyborg dad; Phoenix has a lot of feelings; and X-Factor once again manages to up the ante for child endangerment.

X-PLAINED:

Nightcrawler’s brief clerical career
Days of Future Present
Annuals, in general
Some extraordinarily specific Namor headcanon
Fantastic Four Annual #23
New Mutants Annual #6
X-Factor Annual #5
Uncanny X-Men Annual #14
Franklin Richards
Several statuses quo
The reproductive potential of Doombots
Ms. Marvel (Sharon Ventura)
Ahab
A Code Red Time Emergency
One of Jay’s dream pitches
Your sad cyborg dad
The worst tea party
One hell of a kiss
Robocop vs. Terminator

NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur gets eclectic!

The visual companion to this episode will be up later this week.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 144 – Giant-Size Special #5 (feat. Kid Apocalypse)

January 29, 2017 Miles 5 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Buy prints at Redbubble, or contact David to purchase the original!

Your friend is extremely agitated and saying strange things. Do you: a) call a super-scientist like Reed Richards, b) call a telepath like Jean Grey, or c) throw her in a straitjacket and hope for the best? (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)

Wolverine violently poses forward! (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)

Cable as a wizard with Warlock as a wizard-staff? YES PLEASE (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)

You can tell a lot about an artist by how they draw Warlock. (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)

Oh, Doug the Peasant – you may not have your 616 counterpart’s mutant linguistic abilities or Alan Davis Hair Swoop, but at least you have… a mom who’s kind of a jerk? (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)

“I mean, jeez, Richard! I could have been on the can or something! (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)

Yeah, that’s pretty much the normal way to check how strong booze is. (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)

Congratulations, Princess Rain! Now that you’re properly orphaned, you can start your quest – grab a wooden sword and cloth armor and get going! (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)

Fantasy-Magneto’s outfit: not all that different from Normal-Magneto’s outfit. That reflects well on both of them. (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)

“You make a valid point owwwwww” (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)

Magnus’s text parser needs some work. (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)

New Mutants, Earth 616 style… (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)

…and Earth 1991 style. (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)

Andy Kubert draws a pretty kick-ass Werewolf Rahne. (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)

Okay, I know Wolverine’s the bad guy right now, but that’s legit badass. (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)

This was my favorite part of Hugh Jackman’s Les Miserables. (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)

Cable: master of witty comebacks in any reality. (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)

Wolverine improving his catchphrase? Magnus playing Sentinel? This spread has it all! (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)

This is no one’s finest hour. (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)

Wake up, punch Cable, fall back asleep. I’d call that a successful day! (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)

Wolverine, I know you meant that to be reassuring, but it actually sounds pretty threatening. (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)

Next time: this guy.

THE 2016 SUPER DOCTOR ASTRONAUT PETER CORBEAU AWARDS FOR EXCELLENCE IN X-CELLENCE

Best X-Writer: Dennis Hopeless
Best X-Artist: Alti Firmansyah
Best X-Colorist: David Curiel
Best Ongoing Series: All-New Wolverine
Best Miniseries: Worst X-Man Ever
Good Sport Award: Scott Koblish
Best Book Miles Wishes He Hadn’t Put Off Reading For This Long: Marjorie Liu’s X-23
Fun-Matters-More-Than-Good Award: X-Men: Apocalypse
Best Actual Wolverine Award: Jonathan the Actual Wolverine
Irene Adler Memorial Award for Most Anticipated Upcoming Book Or Series: Generation X
Cyclops Has A Good Day award: Cyclops had no good days.
Best Stealth X-Series: New Avengers
Kristafer Anka Award For Best Withering Sneer In An X-Book: Emma Frost in Inhumans vs. X-Men #1
Wet Noodle Award: The Noodle Incident
Making Lemonade Award: Inhumans vs. X-Men
Best Non-X Marvel Book: The Vision

CLASSIC CORBEAUS (for older X-material covered in the podcast during 2016)

Best Cover Ever Forever: Excalibur #4
Buried Treasure: Havok & Wolverine: Meltdown
Why-Isn’t-This-Collected Award: X-Factor: Judgment War
Still Crying Award: New Mutants #64
The Unhand That Elf Award: “Unhand that elf!”
Better To Reign In Hell Award: Madelyne Pryor
You Tried Award: Illyana Rasputin
ABD Award: Havok, for still not finishing his dissertation

AND

Still the Best Listeners of Any Podcast, Ever – You!

LINKS AND FURTHER READING:

Find Kid Apocalypse on Twitter and Bandcamp!
Listen to Dennis Hopeless’s original, super-secret, censored version of the Noodle Incident in the cold open of Episode 104!
You can hear Scott Koblish’s rap battle with Jay in the cold open to Episode 105…
…and his performance of Jay’s song about Summers continuity in the cold open to Episode 134!

144 – Giant-Size Special #5 (feat. Kid Apocalypse)

January 29, 2017 Miles 26 comments

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In which we get a visit from Kid Apocalypse and debut a track from his upcoming album; Jay No-Prizes Community; Rahne of Terra is pretty damn delightful; Cable is an armchair editor; we finally release the unexpurgated version of Dennis Hopeless’s version of the Noodle Incident; and you remain–to nobody’s surprise–the best listeners of any podcast, ever.

X-PLAINED:

Kid Apocalypse (Quinn Allan)
Portland Snowpocalypse 2017
“Return of the King”
Rapping in character
Beats in the gutters
A vehement defense of Nate Grey
Wolverine: Rahne of Terra
Earth-1991
Geshem
Many puns of varying quality
EiC Cable
A definitely 100% true and accurate explanation of the Noodle Incident
The Third Annual Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Awards for Excellence at X-Cellence

NEXT EPISODE: The debut of Gambit!

In retrospect, we should totally have made reference to the song “Beards Going Nowhere” during our discussion of surfing the timestream on glam hair. We regret the omission.

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 143 – Seduction of the Innocent

January 21, 2017 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Illustration by David Wynne

Crusader X has a somewhat expanded power set. (Excalibur #21)

Whatthewho, now? (Excalibur #21)

Okay, but that’s actually a pretty rad outfit. (Excalibur #21)

Or any of a large number of other supervillains, but, y’know. (Excalibur #21)

Okay, this Earth’s Hellfire Club is WAY creepier than the one on 616. (Excalibur #21)

So close, and yet so far… (Excalibur #21)

Well, damn. (Excalibur #21)

More X-analogues from Earth-2122. (Excalibur #22)

Well, no, but… (Excalibur #22)

The personification of a dropped plot thread. (Excalibur #22)

Aw, these wacky kids. (Excalibur #22)

ALAN DAVIS! WE MISSED YOU! (Excalibur #23)

The evil trinity. I would totally read an ongoing comic about these three. (Excalibur #23)

One more evil Illyana, just for fun. (Excalibur #23)

Justicer Bull! (Excalibur #23)

That last word balloon, tho. (Excalibur #23)

This is the last Evil Illyana panel. We promise. BUT IT’S SO AWESOME. (Excalibur #23)

Well. That’s… unambiguous. (Excalibur #24)

Meanwhile… (Excalibur #24)

THOSE MATCHING HAIR SWOOPS! (Excalibur #24)

It’s okay. She just sends ’em home. (Excalibur #24)

“I got just what I wanted! SUBTEXT!” (Excalibur #24)

NEXT EPISODE: 2017 Winter Special, featuring Kid Apocalypse and (hopefully) Dennis Hopeless!

143 – Seduction of the Innocent

January 16, 2017 Jay 38 comments

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In which the Cross-Time Caper has finally outstayed its welcome; we bid a reluctant farewell to Alan Davis; Inferno may or may not finally actually be over; Evil Doug Ramsey rocks our socks; the Shadow King is not a particularly nuanced villain; Kitty Pryde celebrates a birthday; and Courtney Ross represents an awful lot of dangling plot threads.

X-PLAINED:

Nocturne
Excalibur #21-24
The end of the Cross-Time Caper
Post-Alan Davis Excalibur
Chris Wozniak
Crusader X
Earth-2122
How to track Excalibur
Phoenix-related telepathic idiosyncracies
Our general indifference to the Shadow King
An alternate history of Earth-811
Earth-23238
An extended Judge Dredd riff
Puberty
Another John Byrne cameo
Several variations on Courtney Ross
Kitty Pryde’s 15^th birthday
Nightcrawler’s beard
The Siege Courageous

NEXT EPISODE: Giant-Size Winter Special, featuring Kid Apocalypse & Dennis Hopeless!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

X-TRA – Sofa Special (feat. Al Ewing)

September 30, 2016 Jay 21 comments

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We’re celebrating International Podcast Day with a bonus mid-week episode!

In which Jay and Al settle down in the living room to talk about cats, conventions, X-karaoke, Summers Brothers road trips, and what Al has planned for those New Mutants he’s been collecting in New Avengers!

SOME RELEVANT LINKS:

You can find all of our RCCC minicomics right here!
Here’s the original SPLINK PSA!
David Malki’s Magneto voicemails are a gift to the world. You can find the full collection here.

This episode comes courtesy of our rad Patreon subscribers. If you want to join their ranks and help keep us on the air and ad-free–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

119 – Red Night of the Soul (feat. Elisabeth Allie)

August 1, 2016 Jay 22 comments

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

In which Elisabeth hacks the Matrix; Magneto is the worst at small talk; Hela overreaches; parents just don’t understand human speech; everything is better with super-rings; Selene has a Xena moment; almost anything can be solved with a kiss; and even if you transform Doug Ramsey into a giant red murder monster, he’ll still be a huge nerd.

X-PLAINED:

The S-Men
New Mutants Forever #1-5
Magma’s revised family tree
Updating the New Mutants
The delicate balance of the Forever line
The web
Idiom confusion
A flawed cultural analogy
Tiberius the Generic
Several profoundly dubious costumes
Family resemblance
Skull v. Skull
The dearth of canonically asexual X-characters

NEXT EPISODE: Different Nazis

Miles here – in one of the questions for this episode, I conflated asexuality and aromanticness. Those are totally two different things. Apologies – I’m still learning!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes, Google Play, or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 103 – Warwolves of London

April 4, 2016 Jay 10 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

It’s the front-cover equivalent of the slow-motion hero walk. (Excalibur #1)

Hi, Widget! (Excalibur #1)

Kitty is ridiculous and also awesome. (Excalibur #1)

Nigel “The Worst” Frobisher. (Excalibur #1)

Aw, man. (Excalibur #1)

Welcome to the perfectly ordinary lighthouse full of perfectly ordinary rooms! Hope you survive the… (Excalibur #1)

“No one can move in Rachel’s costume except Rachel” is going to become a running joke over the course of the series. (Excalibur #1)

Somewhere there’s a universe where Meggan grew up watching Don’t Trust the B—- in Apartment 23, in which this scene went very differently. (Excalibur #1)