In which we get back on the continuity train; everything is the aftermath of Inferno forever; you should never fight a tractor or a horse without first putting on some damn pants; Vincent Price would’ve made a terrific Doctor Strange; Rusty Collins never really gets a fair break; Boom Boom is in over her head; and Brett Blevins takes his place as the definitive New Mutants artist.
X-PLAINED:
Mirage’s on-again-off-again Valkyrie career
Asgardia
The New Mutants’ previous Asgard adventures
The best single issue of all time
The Naglfar
A proposal for a new calendar
New Mutants #77-80
The Ust-Ordynski Collective (again) (more)
There’s Stuff Going On: The Doctor Strange Story
A very bad decision
Why unicorns are the worst
Doctor Stephen Sanders / Doctor Strange / Doctor Dad
Let’s Make a Deal
Whether arson counts as a personality trait
Several nefarious plans
Creative growth
Disaster City
Fun with the Technarchy
Mindful representation
Miles’s dad’s comics collection
NEXT EPISODE: Judgment War!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
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In which writer G. Willow Wilson joins us to talk about her new run on X-Men; the Future is really confusing; we consider the many iterations of Rachel Grey; Storm probably has strong feelings about climate change; and writing for a shared universe takes some seriously fancy footwork.
X-Plained:
Jubilee
Shogo (a little)
The future vs. the Future
X-Men vols. 1-4
The logistics of stepping into a book mid-series
Pigeonholing and “girl” books
The proper pronunciation of Kamala
Storm (again)
Psylocke
M
Rachel Grey (again)
Cross-title coordination
Writing in a shared universe
Super-powered ecology
The gender politics of telepathy
Writing and dialogue across media
Marginalization, intersectionality, and the mutant metaphor
Next Week: Pink robots from the future!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Giant-Size X-Men #1. Prepare for forty years of riffs on this cover.
The best-dressed mob in Germany.
And THAT’S how you punch a tractor.
“Oh, y’know. Fight crime, see the world, get your memory rewritten every few weeks, maybe go on a really fucked up date with Dracula…”
When Xavier finds him, Thunderbird is literally wrestling a buffalo to death.
Sunfire’s first appearance, in X-Men #64.
Most of the New & Different X-Men get a full page or two to join the team. Banshee? Two panels. He’s just that chill.
“Think you can just walk away, Wolverine? We’ll come after you with our deadliest weapon yet: Alpha Flight crossovers!”
Wow. You… certainly made some choices there, Professor.
Sunfire is absolutely delightful.
At this point, I’m pretty sure he’s just messing with them for fun.
This is the second of three times Sunfire calls Nightcrawler “Misfit” on one page–which is actually a pretty welcome break from the X-Men referring to each other exclusively by ethnic epithets. Len Wein, DON’T DO THAT.
This jerk.
This is pretty much the platonic ideal of an X-Men fight scene: teamwork, cool powers, and narration busting Kool-Aid-Man-style through the fourth wall.
Fun fact: Polaris will later go on to get an advanced degree in geophysics.
“You know… stuff?”
We see what you did, there.
Moira MacTaggert has opinions about retcons.
Introducing: The Worst Summers Brother
“Hey, kids, want to be superheroes?”
It’s worth noting that Moira’s team’s emergency psychic training regimen includes a Hostess Fruit Pie ad callback.
They are so doomed.
It’s almost like you live with a telepath who messes with people’s memories all the time.
Wait, what? But that’s not how it…
…oh. That explains some things.
Damn, X. That’s cold.
Professor X: Master of the retcon, worst surrogate parent ever.
In which we introduce the villains of the Silver Age: Magneto makes some valid points, Mastermind is a Nice Guy of OkCupid, the Scarlet Witch predicts Cat Breading, the Trasks should really have known better, and the Comics Code Authority is down with pterosaurs.
X-Plained:
Common characteristics of enduring X-villains
Mutant identity politics and moral relativism
Context-agnostic Juggernaut flashbacks
An unorthodox approach to anthropology
Cyclops’s greatest diplomatic achievement
Silver-Age haberdashery
An innovative modification to vampire mythology
Cultural assimilation
The propaganda-and-sweater-vest machine
Hex bolts
Supplemental reading
You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.
In which we begin at the beginning: everything clicks with #3, Professor Xavier is a jerk, Magneto is a fearless fashionista, Cyclops gets a name, Jean Grey has a chronic case of the Silver Age, and allegorical diversity is not enough.
X-Plained:
Mutant genetics and taxonomy
Practical semantics of “X-Men”
Charles Xavier’s equally dubious ethics and decorating choices
Superhero couture of the Atomic Age
Why Cyclops can’t control his powers
The miracle of comic-book magnetism
A problematic analogy
X-books for beginners
Snow grenades
The word “yaybo”
The mystery of the ubiquitous plaid suit
You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.