Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: Dark Beast

386 – No Puppies for Storm

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which treading water isn’t always a bad thing; Storm remains an irresponsible leader; nobody should ever trust Dark Beast; we are befuddled by a large metal man; Maggott makes his debut; and we ship the heck out of Deathbird and Bishop.

X-PLAINED:

  • The time Captain America dated a supervillain
  • Treading water
  • Gene Nation (again)
  • Uncanny X-Men Annual 1997
  • Uncanny X-Men #345
  • Razors
  • Humanity’s Last Stand
  • Surprise
  • Boost and Tether
  • D’gard
  • A Star Trek allusion
  • The Morlock retcon
  • Maggott (Japheth)
  • A large metal individual
  • Foreshadowing
  • A large, inconvenient spaceship
  • Magneto’s relationship to Judaism
  • Recovery from the Legacy Virus

NEXT EPISODE: Field Trip to Mount Wundagore!

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As Mentioned in Episode 353 – Scientists and Superheroes

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Forge X-Plains. (X-Factor #126)
Wait, if she’s also visible as herself, why does it even MATTER which wings she uses? (X-Factor #126)
Don’t steal the man’s tagline. (X-Factor #126)
I really enjoy this cover. (Fantastic Four #416)
“NOBODY menaces the Richardses but me!” (Fantastic Four #416)
Aw his silly device. (Fantastic Four #416)
“You have my abs.” (Fantastic Four #416)
THIS WEIRDO (Fantastic Four #416)
“DOOM WOULD ALSO ENJOY A LATTE.” (Fantastic Four #416)
This page super reminds me of the credits of the movie Help! (X-Men Unlimited #12)
They were cooler when they were just a neon sign come to life. (X-Men Unlimited #12)
This probably happens to Strange a lot. (X-Men Unlimited #12)
I’m sorry, Spite; I can’t take you seriously without a Y and possibly a gratuitous apostrophe in your name. (X-Men Unlimited #12)
A large boy. (X-Men Unlimited #12)
…they fight crime! (X-Men Unlimited #12)
NEXT EPISODE: some bullshit.

LINKS & FURTHER SPINOFFS

  • I’m pretty sure we’ve linked to Robert Cop before, but just in case, here you go.

353 – Scientists and Superheroes

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Dark Beast is an unlikely father figure; Wild Child remains low-budget Wolverine; X-Factor foreshadows the XSE; no one else thwarts Richardses on Doom’s watch; the cow goes “hate”; and Juggernaut fails to grow as a person.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Red Ghost
  • Onslaught thus far
  • X-Factor #126
  • Fantastic Four #416
  • X-Men Unlimited #12
  • Random’s origins (kind of)
  • Pinochle
  • Kristoff Vernard
  • Several villains
  • Juggernaut’s adventures in the Gem of Cyttorak
  • Gomurr the Ancient (again)
  • Spite
  • Unreliable narrators
  • The evolution of Cyttorak
  • Wolverine’s hair
  • X-arcs we’d like to see as video games

NEXT EPISODE: To nobody’s surprise, Onslaught.

CORRECTION: Kristoff Vernard is not in fact a clone of Doctor Doom.

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 347 – Onslaught Begins

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
What, indeed? (Uncanny X-Men #334)
He’s a man of simple pleasures. (Uncanny X-Men #334)
We ship it. (Uncanny X-Men #334)
What the HELL, Professor X? (Uncanny X-Men #334)
Again: THE HELL?! (Uncanny X-Men #334)
It sucks to be Dark Beast, as it should. (X-Men #54)
The wreck of Professor Xavier’s office… (X-Men #54)
…and the wreck of Professor Xavier. (X-Men #54)
Before there was SIXIS, there was OVALZNO. (Onslaught: X-Men #1)
Shielded thoughts get red borders. (Onslaught: X-Men #1)
HE’S SO DRAMATIC (Onslaught: X-Men #1)
I know he’s evil right now, but I bet Xavier was also just a super creepy kid. (Onslaught: X-Men #1)
NEXT EPISODE: More Onslaught.

LINKS & FURTHER ALLUSIONS

347 – Onslaught Begins

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we stop procrastinating and dive headfirst into Onslaught; Professor Xavier is a jerk; Dark Beast wasn’t even supposed to be here today; Onslaught declaims like it’s the Silver Age; Bishop gets some long-awaited closure; and we pitch alternate candidates for the X-traitor.

X-PLAINED:

  • Hyperstorm
  • Onslaught (entity)
  • Onslaught (event)
  • Uncanny X-Men #334
  • X-Men #54
  • Onslaught: X-Men #1
  • How to pronounce “Buccellato”
  • The opposite of a pep talk
  • Nate Grey vs. Professor X
  • The Z’noxx (again)
  • One of several times Charles Xavier has faked his own death
  • Muscle March
  • Franklin Richards
  • The Gem of Cyttorak
  • A villain speech
  • That one recording Bishop found in the future
  • The X-traitor
  • Li’l Charlie
  • Magneto’s hood ornament
  • Alternate takes on the X-traitor

NEXT EPISODE: Onslaught continues.

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 333 – Fight Train

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
I’d like to think he leaves her office like this afterwards. (Uncanny X-Men #331)
Just another Thursday on the PATH… (X-Men #51)
TFW you run into your boss outside of work and they make it weird. (X-Men #51)
…Somehow. (X-Men #52)
Remember that name; you’ll be sneering it later. (X-Men #52)
I wasn’t kidding when I said that Sinister kidnapped Bishop to find out if his ships were canon. (X-Men #52)
NEXT EPISODE: Emplate sucks!

333 – Fight Train

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Miles discovers owl legs; Iceman dwells in subtext; Dark Beast overperforms; Daredevil is a delightful trash fire of a person; Graydon Creed’s presidential run is somewhat less shocking in 2021; Rogue does not enjoy playing ‘Got your nose’; and Mister Sinister is not a friend to public transportation.

X-PLAINED:

  • Post-Decimation resurrections
  • Owl legs
  • Uncanny X-Men #331
  • X-Men #51-52
  • Iceman’s complicated personal life
  • Casual crossovers
  • The facial hair of Warren Kenneth Worthington III
  • The terrible decisions of Matt Murdock
  • How to subtly test your in-laws for mutant powers
  • What Mister Sinister sounds like
  • A bad plan
  • The debut of Bastion
  • DNA
  • Foreshadowing

NEXT EPISODE: Emplate Sucks

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 328 – Single Blue Male

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
It’s not baseball, but it’ll do! (X-Men #48)
It’s rough to be Bishop. (X-Men #48)
The extra arms make it extra funny. (X-Men #48)
*Rimshot* (X-Men #48)
Dark Beast X-Plains Bishop. (X-Men #48)
Bishop, that’s flirting. (X-Men #49)
“Bishop with Kittens” should be a thing. (X-Men #49)
This one’s for Douglas Wolk. (X-Men #49)
Never trust anybody. (X-Men #49)
Except by the time it happens, they look way more alike. (X-Men Unlimited #10)
Hank McCoy was an objectively kind of terrible child. (X-Men Unlimited #10)
This would be so fun to climb around! (X-Men Unlimited #10)
Hank, buddy, no. (X-Men Unlimited #10)
Honestly, I’d prefer a toaster. (X-Men Unlimited #10)
What the HELL, dude? (X-Men Unlimited #10)
Time to face the… nope. I’m not gonna do it. (X-Men Unlimited #10)
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, MCCOY! (X-Men Unlimited #10)
NEXT EPISODE: X-Man vs. Excalibur!

328 – Single Blue Male

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Podcast: Play in new window | Download

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Sam Guthrie will take all your money; Gambit has exceptionally poor judgment; having friends who are couples means getting to be the big spoon AND the little spoon; Hank McCoy is the agrarian Rube Goldberg; and there are a lot of ways to appreciate a comic.

X-PLAINED:

  • Several colors of Beast
  • X-Men #48-49
  • X-Men Unlimited #10
  • The Floating Super Hero Poker Game
  • Large hands
  • Various refugees from the Age of Apocalypse
  • Surge(TM)
  • Pam Greenwood (Fatale)
  • Many gratuitous murders
  • Iconic runs we’re not into
  • Generations of teen X-Men

NEXT WEEK: Hawk talk!

NEXT EPISODE: Nate Grey vs. Excalibur!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 314 – Feelings, Alaska

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Of course, that’s also exactly what a hologram would say. (X-Factor #115)
WHY DOES FORGE HAVE ALL THIS STUFF SAVED IN HIS HOLODECK? (X-Factor #115)
I’m putting all three pages of this flashback in the visual companion, because, while this scene has been shown roughly a zillion times, this one is the gold standard. (X-Factor #115)
This scene is ALSO a pretty good thumbnail guide to how to write Alex Summers and why. (X-Factor #115)
And that’s that, folks! (X-Factor #115)
“I mean, why do YOU come to Alaska? (X-Factor #115)
HECK YEAH (X-Factor #115)
THESE DORKS I LOVE THEM (X-Factor #115)
*wipes away a single tear* (X-Factor #115)
MILES WAS RIGHT. I stand corrected. -J (X-Factor #116)
Shard is cool, but she’d be cooler if she weren’t a cop. (X-Factor #116)
WHAT?! Superheroes trying to TALK through a misunderstanding? Surely Alpha Flight will jump straight to the punching, at least. (X-Factor #116)
…NOPE. (X-Factor #116)
Uncalled for, Roma. (X-Factor #117)
Seriously, don’t sic a sentinel on your team *because you’re not sure one of its members can adequately control his powers.* (X-Factor #117)
I’m pretty sure Random mostly wants a Jolt Cola(TM) and a Sega CD. (X-Factor #117)
…THEY FIGHT CRIME! (X-Factor #118)
Seriously, Random, nobody cares. (X-Factor #118)
Ah, yes, the flaming chasms of… somewhere. (X-Factor #118)
Well, that’s Random. (X-Factor #118)
NEXT EPISODE: Gambit & Wolverine!

LINKS & FURTHER MISUNDERSTANDINGS: