Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: Cypher

144 – Giant-Size Special #5 (feat. Kid Apocalypse)

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Art by David Wynne. Buy prints at Redbubble, or contact David to purchase the original!

In which we get a visit from Kid Apocalypse and debut a track from his upcoming album; Jay No-Prizes Community; Rahne of Terra is pretty damn delightful; Cable is an armchair editor; we finally release the unexpurgated version of Dennis Hopeless’s version of the Noodle Incident; and you remain–to nobody’s surprise–the best listeners of any podcast, ever.

X-PLAINED:

  • Kid Apocalypse (Quinn Allan)
  • Portland Snowpocalypse 2017
  • “Return of the King”
  • Rapping in character
  • Beats in the gutters
  • A vehement defense of Nate Grey
  • Wolverine: Rahne of Terra
  • Earth-1991
  • Geshem
  • Many puns of varying quality
  • EiC Cable
  • A definitely 100% true and accurate explanation of the Noodle Incident
  • The Third Annual Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Awards for Excellence at X-Cellence

NEXT EPISODE: The debut of Gambit!

In retrospect, we should totally have made reference to the song “Beards Going Nowhere” during our discussion of surfing the timestream on glam hair. We regret the omission.

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 143 – Seduction of the Innocent

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Illustration by David Wynne
Crusader X has a somewhat expanded power set. (Excalibur #21)
Whatthewho, now? (Excalibur #21)
Okay, but that’s actually a pretty rad outfit. (Excalibur #21)
Or any of a large number of other supervillains, but, y’know. (Excalibur #21)
Okay, this Earth’s Hellfire Club is WAY creepier than the one on 616. (Excalibur #21)
So close, and yet so far… (Excalibur #21)
Well, damn. (Excalibur #21)
More X-analogues from Earth-2122. (Excalibur #22)
Well, no, but… (Excalibur #22)
The personification of a dropped plot thread. (Excalibur #22)
Aw, these wacky kids. (Excalibur #22)
ALAN DAVIS! WE MISSED YOU! (Excalibur #23)
The evil trinity. I would totally read an ongoing comic about these three. (Excalibur #23)
One more evil Illyana, just for fun. (Excalibur #23)
Justicer Bull! (Excalibur #23)
That last word balloon, tho. (Excalibur #23)
This is the last Evil Illyana panel. We promise. BUT IT’S SO AWESOME. (Excalibur #23)
Well. That’s… unambiguous. (Excalibur #24)
Meanwhile… (Excalibur #24)
THOSE MATCHING HAIR SWOOPS! (Excalibur #24)
It’s okay. She just sends ’em home. (Excalibur #24)
“I got just what I wanted! SUBTEXT!” (Excalibur #24)
NEXT EPISODE: 2017 Winter Special, featuring Kid Apocalypse and (hopefully) Dennis Hopeless!

143 – Seduction of the Innocent

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Art by David Wynne.

In which the Cross-Time Caper has finally outstayed its welcome; we bid a reluctant farewell to Alan Davis; Inferno may or may not finally actually be over; Evil Doug Ramsey rocks our socks; the Shadow King is not a particularly nuanced villain; Kitty Pryde celebrates a birthday; and Courtney Ross represents an awful lot of dangling plot threads.

X-PLAINED:

  • Nocturne
  • Excalibur #21-24
  • The end of the Cross-Time Caper
  • Post-Alan Davis Excalibur
  • Chris Wozniak
  • Crusader X
  • Earth-2122
  • How to track Excalibur
  • Phoenix-related telepathic idiosyncracies
  • Our general indifference to the Shadow King
  • An alternate history of Earth-811
  • Earth-23238
  • An extended Judge Dredd riff
  • Puberty
  • Another John Byrne cameo
  • Several variations on Courtney Ross
  • Kitty Pryde’s 15th birthday
  • Nightcrawler’s beard
  • The Siege Courageous

NEXT EPISODE: Giant-Size Winter Special, featuring Kid Apocalypse & Dennis Hopeless!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

X-TRA – Sofa Special (feat. Al Ewing)

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cathands

We’re celebrating International Podcast Day with a bonus mid-week episode!

In which Jay and Al settle down in the living room to talk about cats, conventions, X-karaoke, Summers Brothers road trips, and what Al has planned for those New Mutants he’s been collecting in New Avengers!

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This episode comes courtesy of our rad Patreon subscribers. If you want to join their ranks and help keep us on the air and ad-free–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

119 – Red Night of the Soul (feat. Elisabeth Allie)

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

In which Elisabeth hacks the Matrix; Magneto is the worst at small talk; Hela overreaches; parents just don’t understand human speech; everything is better with super-rings; Selene has a Xena moment; almost anything can be solved with a kiss; and even if you transform Doug Ramsey into a giant red murder monster, he’ll still be a huge nerd.

X-PLAINED:

  • The S-Men
  • New Mutants Forever #1-5
  • Magma’s revised family tree
  • Updating the New Mutants
  • The delicate balance of the Forever line
  • The web
  • Idiom confusion
  • A flawed cultural analogy
  • Tiberius the Generic
  • Several profoundly dubious costumes
  • Family resemblance
  • Skull v. Skull
  • The dearth of canonically asexual X-characters

NEXT EPISODE: Different Nazis

Miles here – in one of the questions for this episode, I conflated asexuality and aromanticness. Those are totally two different things. Apologies – I’m still learning!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 91 – The Saddest Story Ever Told

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
The vaguely slapstick motifs in this story somehow make it even sadder. (New Mutants #64)
And it really only gets more depressing from here. (New Mutants #64)
No, seriously. (New Mutants #64)
Everything is terrible forever. (New Mutants #64)
=( (New Mutants #64)
Yeah, we do not have a sassy caption for this. Sorry. (New Mutants #64)
Aw, man. These kids. (New Mutants #64)
AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT! (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)
Harder than fighting Sentinels, apparently. (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)
“It’s four hours of me, a vacuum cleaner, and a theremin.” (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)
The X-Men take costume parties REALLY DAMN SERIOUSLY. (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)
“Also, that is literally one of the only two non-uniform outfits you own.” (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)
How not to lay out a page for coherent reading order. (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)
SO THEN THAT HAPPENED. (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)
And they all lived happily ever after. THE END! (But Doug Ramsey was still dead.) (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)

91 – The Saddest Story Ever Told

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

 

In which New Mutants #64 is the saddest single issue of any X-book ever; the New Mutants have to grow up fast; Warlock comes to terms with mortality; The Last of Us is harder to play the second time; Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade is delightfully unhinged; animated Cyclops is totally the worst; Beast probably has a terrible garage band; Jean starts a kitchen fire; and Wolverine saves Jubilee’s birthday.

 

X-PLAINED:

  • The saddest issue ever
  • New Mutants #64
  • The only okay way to watch Grave of the Fireflies
  • The aftermath of Doug Ramsey’s death
  • Several unhealthy coping mechanisms
  • The Last of Us
  • Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade
  • Some varyingly impressive costumes
  • General irresponsibility
  • Why Wolverine is wearing a clown suit
  • Douglock
  • The New Mutants’ D&D alignments

NEXT WEEK: You never forget your first Ship.

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 87 – It’s Always Darkest…

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Don’t get too attached to these guys. (New Mutants #59)
Roll for initiative! (New Mutants #59)
Lookit this E.C. lookin’ jerk! (New Mutants #59)
Truth. (New Mutants #59)
Seriously, the Ani-mator is so creepy. (New Mutants #60)
Or you could just–you know what? Never mind. Forget it. Freakin’ teenagers. (New Mutants #60)
And that’s why you always leave a note. (New Mutants #60)
Oh, THAT guy. (New Mutants #60)
How many times has he done this so far? Two? Three? (New Mutants #60)
Well, fuck. (New Mutants #60)
Well, fuck. (New Mutants #60)
Later, she justifies this by saying that it’s what Doug would have wanted, which seems questionable. (New Mutants #60)
Meanwhile, in the other 2/3 of the event… (New Mutants #61)
Even horses, Warlock. (New Mutants #61)
Aw, man. These kids. (New Mutants #61)
Aw, man. These kids. (New Mutants #61)
It really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really sucks to be New Mutants-era Magneto. (New Mutants #61)
And to add insult to injury, somehow the graduation costumes got even worse. (New Mutants #61)
NEXT WEEK: The Fall of the Mutants concludes with X-Factor!

87 – It’s Always Darkest… (Fall of the Mutants, Part 2 of 3)

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

In which the New Mutants learn that they are not, in fact, immortal; Louise Simonson finds her stride; the Ani-Mator makes Cameron Hodge look downright reasonable; hating humans is Magneto’s security blanket; Doug Ramsey dies; and we continue our coverage of the Fall of the Mutants.

X-PLAINED:

  • Sugar Man
  • New Mutants #59-61
  • Bird Brain
  • The Ani-Mator
  • The Ani-Mates
  • Stylistic whiplash
  • Why you always leave a note
  • The death of Doug Ramsey
  • Black Condor’s amazing origin story
  • Interpersonal dynamics in New Mutants
  • Parsing ongoing series
  • Why Doug died
  • 616 characters we’d trade for their Battleworld counterparts
  • Storytelling trends and the decline of though balloons

NEXT WEEK: …Just Before Dawn

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 83 – Live at Vegas Valley Comic Book Festival

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 11/22/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
It is reasonably appropriate to judge this book by its cover. (X-Men Annual #3)
Spot the references. (X-Men Annual #3)
ARKON THE MAGNIFICENT! (X-Men Annual #3)
I guess when your job is cleaning up after Tony Stark, the existential hellscape of Funky Winkerbean starts to feel like a vacation. (X-Men Annual #3)
DON’T TOUCH THE HAIR! (X-Men Annual #3)
You’d think the Danger Room would have ANY KIND OF REMOTELY FUNCTIONAL SAFETY PROTOCOLS BY NOW, but no. (X-Men Annual #3)
The art makes a really, really good counterpoint to the conversation in these panels. (X-Men Annual #3)
Cyclops encouraging other characters to talk about their feelings: NEVER NOT FUNNY. (X-Men Annual #3)
Don’t forget to watch TV, kids! You never know when it’ll come in handy! (X-Men Annual #3)
The best thing about this panel is Wolverine’s understated “Geez.” (X-Men Annual #3)
“I mean, look, there’s a really good chance we’re just going to straight-up explode.” (X-Men Annual #3)
Starman #4 is about a Hawaiian shirt that is a gateway to heaven. In related news, you should all go read Starman RIGHT NOW, because it is WONDERFUL.
If you’re not hearing Queen in your head right now, I don’t really understand you. (X-Men Annual #3)
Things that are not awesome about this fight panel: NONE OF THEM. (X-Men Annual #3)
SHE’LL SAVE EVERY ONE OF US! (X-Men Annual #3)
“Oh, y’know, just stole a dragon from some flying commandos. No big deal.” (X-Men Annual #3)
This planet sucks. (X-Men Annual #3)
Wolverine, that’s not… y’know what? Never mind. (X-Men Annual #3)
I’m pretty sure that no writer will ever reference this again. (X-Men Annual #3)
“Well, that, or the colorist forgot to make it red, which also happens sometimes.” (X-Men Annual #3)
Somewhere in the multiverse, there’s a universe where the X-Men went, “Fuck it. Let’s just go be space barbarians.” (X-Men Annual #3)
NEXT WEEK: This jerk.

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