Cypher – Page 2 – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 268 – Disquettes

October 13, 2019 Miles Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Back to the Future made time travel seem like so much more fun. (Excalibur #81)

I love Christmas traditions! Red and green outfits, walks on the beach, having the lighthouse that was destroyed in a climactic multiversal event suddenly exist again for no good reason… (Excalibur #81)

I kind of love these weirdos. (Excalibur #81)

It’s cool, Douglock, Jay doesn’t recognize them either. (Excalibur #81)

Comedy gold. (Their choice of seating helps too.) (Excalibur #81)

Charles and Moira: best exes. (Excalibur #81)

Seriously, best exes. (Excalibur #81)

“For me, it’s always like this.” (Excalibur Annual #2)

“-and he looks faaaaabulous!” (Excalibur Annual #2)

Jamie Braddock: terrible from the start. (Excalibur Annual #2)

There! Fixed! Take that, psychology! (Excalibur Annual #2)

“Sorry, Amanda – spooling looked so cool we had to do it again, and we drew your name from the hat.” (Excalibur Annual #2)

Cons: spooling nightmares and crashing planes. Pro: that plane is so spacious! (Excalibur Annual #2)

“Until next time, boils and ghouls – pleasant screams!” (Excalibur Annual #2)

Either that picture is only symbolically there, or Kitty’s computer has real bad taste in image choice. (Excalibur Annual #2)

Kurt Wagner: best bro. (Excalibur Annual #2)

We didn’t talk about this in the episode, but the nerd in me really appreciates that this issue took two full pages to show us exactly how Proteus’s jail cell works. (Excalibur Annual #2)

NEXT TIME: Jay and Seanan McGuire talk villains!

268 – Disquettes

October 13, 2019 Miles 15 comments

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In which Excalibur addresses a number of dangling plot threads, Britanic finally gets (somewhat) interesting, Kitty really wants Douglock to be Doug, Professor Xavier and Moira MacTaggert are the best exes, and the future has peculiar priorities.

X-PLAINED:

The life and death of Jamie Braddock
Excalibur #81
Douglock (more) (again)
Inker ambiguity
Britanic and Meggan’s Christmas costumes
The Excalibur Lighthouse’s sudden and inexplicable resurrection
Mo’ time travel, mo’ problems
20,097 rocks on a shoreline
Douglock: overly literal, dryly funny, or just plain thirsty?
The Emotional Beat of Damocles
The problems with crunch time
Princess Diana: Excalibur vs. X-Statix
Language and time
Excalibur Annual #2
Appropriately bombastic narration
Fashions of the future
Psychic psychotherapy
Sibling rivalry
Mr. Poo
Braddock moppets
Oversimplification vs. ambiguity
Spooling chambers (more)
Excalibur as an X-leftovers book
Air travel: leg-room vs. sorcerous doom
Hannibal King: vampire detective and/or penciler
Shadowcat and the pain of hope
A Doug’s-eye view of New Mutants
Emma Frost and aging
Dazzler and roller derby

NEXT EPISODE: Jay and Seanan McGuire talk villains!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 262 – Science Fiction Double Feature

September 1, 2019 Jay One comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

He’s a fun guy. (X-Men #311)

Aw. (X-Men #311)

Uncool, Sabretooth. Uncool. (X-Men #311)

Bishop is rad as hell. (X-Men #311)

See, this is why you should’ve taken her to the movies. (X-Men #311)

Emma’s got a new look. (X-Men #312)

Cool, but not the coolest. (X-Men #313)

No freakin’ kidding. (X-Men #313)

Ah, THAT’S the coolest. (X-Men #313)

Storm is so cool. (X-Men #313)

This club is the worst. (X-Men #311)

$The Phalanx, in a small fraction of its glory. (X-Men #312)$

The Phalanx, in a small fraction of its glory. (X-Men #312)

They’re very good friends. (X-Men #312)

Gambit is legitimately fairly charming, at least as drawn by Joe Madureira. (X-Men #312)

One of several shovel talks. (X-Men #312)

Oh, snap. (X-Men #312)

Familiar faces, and somewhat less familiar bodies. (X-Men #312)

And then, another shovel talk. (X-Men #312)

NEXT EPISODE: Remember this dude?

The Designing X-Women art isn’t online yet, but when it is, we’ll drop a link here!

262 – Science Fiction Double Feature

September 1, 2019 Jay 14 comments

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In which the Phalanx would make pretty fun novelty candy; “B-Plot” implies that we only have 26; nobody will take Jubilee to the movies; Repo Man and Repo: The Genetic Opera are in fact two entirely different films; Storm is a fashion icon; Sabretooth is the monster in the basement; it’s really rough to be the kid on the X-Men; Yuko gives Gambit a shovel talk; and a number of familiar faces return to the page.

X-PLAINED:

One of the many problems with Sentinels
Uncanny X-Men #311-313
Whether the Phalanx is squishy
Robo-Candy
Plotline disambiguation
A cult classic
Carl the X-Cutioner (again)
Creative use of Bishop’s powers
Storm fashion
Technical difficulties
A decision Iceman will come to regret
Bishop vs. Sabretooth
What If Vol. 2 #87
Variations on Iceman’s appearance
Early seeds of Generation X
A night out with Yukio
A heavily euphemized relationship
Xavier’s mutant underground
The Phalanx
A shovel talk
The return of Steven Lang (and some other people)
How Cyclops cries
Cassandra Nova’s signature look

NEXT EPISODE: Additional and Varyingly Literal Blasts from the Past

NOTE: Per our expert source Doctor Internet, what Miles knows as “water weenies” are mostly sold as “water wigglers” or “water snakes.”

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 200 – Lightning in a Bottle, with Louise Simonson

June 3, 2018 Jay 3 comments

Listen to the episode here.

LINKS & FURTHER LISTENING:

For the beginning of Louise Simonson’s X-Factor run, check out Episode 64 – Ski Lodge of Apocalypse.
We started covering Simonson’s New Mutants run in Episode 82 – Birds and Boys.
Hear about the aftermath of Doug Ramsey’s death in Episode 91 – The Saddest Story Ever Told.
For a close look at Havok & Wolverine: Meltdown, click over to Episode 114 – Meltdown.
You can learn more about the Judgment War arc in Episode 128 – A Stupid Way to Die, and Episode 133 – Feisty Little Fellow from the Stars.
Louise previously appeared on the show–along with Chris Claremont–in Episode 168 – Live at NYCC.
(We interviewed Chris at more length in Episode 100 – Unexpected Wonder.)
And we talked a lot about the mutant metaphor and current politics in Episode 164 – This Is the Mutant Revolution: Live at Rose City Comic Con.
The new Power Pack podcast we mentioned this episode is Unpacking the Power Pack. Go give ’em a listen!

200 – Lightning in a Bottle, with Louise Simonson

June 3, 2018 Jay 29 comments

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In which we celebrate a major milestone with the coolest person ever to work on the X-books and look back at the last four-plus years of the podcast; and nobody ends up on trial at the Hague.

NEXT WEEK: Jay & Miles take a much-needed vacation.

NEXT EPISODE: The X-Men take the fight to Mojoworld!

Check out our blog for links to the stuff we discussed in this episode!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

152 – Ghosts of Future Present

March 27, 2017 Jay 58 comments

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Art by David Wynne. Contact David to purchase the original!

In which Franklin Richards makes everything more complicated; Reed Richards is a terrible parent; Days of Future Present is a surprisingly good ghost story; Valeria Richards is awesome (but does not appear in this crossover); everyone’s got hounds these days; Banshee is your sad cyborg dad; Phoenix has a lot of feelings; and X-Factor once again manages to up the ante for child endangerment.

X-PLAINED:

Nightcrawler’s brief clerical career
Days of Future Present
Annuals, in general
Some extraordinarily specific Namor headcanon
Fantastic Four Annual #23
New Mutants Annual #6
X-Factor Annual #5
Uncanny X-Men Annual #14
Franklin Richards
Several statuses quo
The reproductive potential of Doombots
Ms. Marvel (Sharon Ventura)
Ahab
A Code Red Time Emergency
One of Jay’s dream pitches
Your sad cyborg dad
The worst tea party
One hell of a kiss
Robocop vs. Terminator

NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur gets eclectic!

The visual companion to this episode will be up later this week.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 144 – Giant-Size Special #5 (feat. Kid Apocalypse)

January 29, 2017 Miles 5 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Buy prints at Redbubble, or contact David to purchase the original!

Your friend is extremely agitated and saying strange things. Do you: a) call a super-scientist like Reed Richards, b) call a telepath like Jean Grey, or c) throw her in a straitjacket and hope for the best? (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)

Wolverine violently poses forward! (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)

Cable as a wizard with Warlock as a wizard-staff? YES PLEASE (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)

You can tell a lot about an artist by how they draw Warlock. (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)

Oh, Doug the Peasant – you may not have your 616 counterpart’s mutant linguistic abilities or Alan Davis Hair Swoop, but at least you have… a mom who’s kind of a jerk? (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)

“I mean, jeez, Richard! I could have been on the can or something! (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)

Yeah, that’s pretty much the normal way to check how strong booze is. (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)

Congratulations, Princess Rain! Now that you’re properly orphaned, you can start your quest – grab a wooden sword and cloth armor and get going! (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)

Fantasy-Magneto’s outfit: not all that different from Normal-Magneto’s outfit. That reflects well on both of them. (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)

“You make a valid point owwwwww” (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)

Magnus’s text parser needs some work. (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)

New Mutants, Earth 616 style… (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)

…and Earth 1991 style. (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)

Andy Kubert draws a pretty kick-ass Werewolf Rahne. (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)

Okay, I know Wolverine’s the bad guy right now, but that’s legit badass. (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)

This was my favorite part of Hugh Jackman’s Les Miserables. (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)

Cable: master of witty comebacks in any reality. (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)

Wolverine improving his catchphrase? Magnus playing Sentinel? This spread has it all! (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)

This is no one’s finest hour. (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)

Wake up, punch Cable, fall back asleep. I’d call that a successful day! (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)

Wolverine, I know you meant that to be reassuring, but it actually sounds pretty threatening. (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)

Next time: this guy.

THE 2016 SUPER DOCTOR ASTRONAUT PETER CORBEAU AWARDS FOR EXCELLENCE IN X-CELLENCE

Best X-Writer: Dennis Hopeless
Best X-Artist: Alti Firmansyah
Best X-Colorist: David Curiel
Best Ongoing Series: All-New Wolverine
Best Miniseries: Worst X-Man Ever
Good Sport Award: Scott Koblish
Best Book Miles Wishes He Hadn’t Put Off Reading For This Long: Marjorie Liu’s X-23
Fun-Matters-More-Than-Good Award: X-Men: Apocalypse
Best Actual Wolverine Award: Jonathan the Actual Wolverine
Irene Adler Memorial Award for Most Anticipated Upcoming Book Or Series: Generation X
Cyclops Has A Good Day award: Cyclops had no good days.
Best Stealth X-Series: New Avengers
Kristafer Anka Award For Best Withering Sneer In An X-Book: Emma Frost in Inhumans vs. X-Men #1
Wet Noodle Award: The Noodle Incident
Making Lemonade Award: Inhumans vs. X-Men
Best Non-X Marvel Book: The Vision

CLASSIC CORBEAUS (for older X-material covered in the podcast during 2016)

Best Cover Ever Forever: Excalibur #4
Buried Treasure: Havok & Wolverine: Meltdown
Why-Isn’t-This-Collected Award: X-Factor: Judgment War
Still Crying Award: New Mutants #64
The Unhand That Elf Award: “Unhand that elf!”
Better To Reign In Hell Award: Madelyne Pryor
You Tried Award: Illyana Rasputin
ABD Award: Havok, for still not finishing his dissertation

AND

Still the Best Listeners of Any Podcast, Ever – You!

LINKS AND FURTHER READING:

Find Kid Apocalypse on Twitter and Bandcamp!
Listen to Dennis Hopeless’s original, super-secret, censored version of the Noodle Incident in the cold open of Episode 104!
You can hear Scott Koblish’s rap battle with Jay in the cold open to Episode 105…
…and his performance of Jay’s song about Summers continuity in the cold open to Episode 134!

144 – Giant-Size Special #5 (feat. Kid Apocalypse)

January 29, 2017 Miles 26 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

In which we get a visit from Kid Apocalypse and debut a track from his upcoming album; Jay No-Prizes Community; Rahne of Terra is pretty damn delightful; Cable is an armchair editor; we finally release the unexpurgated version of Dennis Hopeless’s version of the Noodle Incident; and you remain–to nobody’s surprise–the best listeners of any podcast, ever.

X-PLAINED:

Kid Apocalypse (Quinn Allan)
Portland Snowpocalypse 2017
“Return of the King”
Rapping in character
Beats in the gutters
A vehement defense of Nate Grey
Wolverine: Rahne of Terra
Earth-1991
Geshem
Many puns of varying quality
EiC Cable
A definitely 100% true and accurate explanation of the Noodle Incident
The Third Annual Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Awards for Excellence at X-Cellence

NEXT EPISODE: The debut of Gambit!

In retrospect, we should totally have made reference to the song “Beards Going Nowhere” during our discussion of surfing the timestream on glam hair. We regret the omission.

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)