Because It's About Time Someone Did
Week of January 14, 2015
In which we continue to be frustrated by Cyclops, but everything else is pretty great.
Reviewed:
*Pick of the week (11:24)
These video reviews are made possible by the support of our Patreon subscribers. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Listen to the episode here!
Places Where You can Find Chris Sims on the Internets:
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In which we welcome back Emergency Backup Co-Host Chris Sims; comics writers are basically supervillains; Cyclops is not here to have fun; Spider-Man flirts with objectivism; Murderworld is probably not financially sustainable; you should totally cosplay the Proletarian; Arcade may or may not secretly be the Archie Andrews of Earth-616; and Doctor Doom remains absolutely delightful.
X-Plained
NEXT WEEK: Cloak and Dagger!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!
Support us on Patreon!
Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!
While the Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Awards for Excellence in X-Cellence* officially made their debut in last week’s Giant-Size Special, we wanted to take a moment to revisit them: the X-books, creators, and concepts that rocked our year.
Also, there is a coloring contest.
If your name–or a project to which you contributed–appears on the list below,** and you would like an actual, physical Corbeau Award to hang on your wall, please drop us a line, and we will make and mail you one. It will be beautiful and classy as hell, it will definitely involve some glitter glue.
And so, without further ado, it is out great pleasure to present:
THE 2014 SUPER DOCTOR ASTRONAUT PETER CORBEAU AWARDS FOR EXCELLENCE IN X-CELLENCE!
CLASSIC CORBEAUS (for older X-material covered in the podcast during 2014)
*Did you know you can just straight-up make up your own awards and give them to whomever you want? The Internet is awesome, y’all.
**LOOK! IT’S A COLORING CONTEST!
Listeners, while we love you dearly, we do not love you quite enough to make and mail all roughly ten-thousand of you your own Corbeaus. If you want a Corbeau of your very own, you’ve got two options:
1) Make your own, using the art below. We officially certify that it will be official and the Real Deal, and if anyone challenges you on that, we will glare meaningfully in their direction.
2) Show us your coloring skills. That’s right. It’s a CORBEAU COLORING CONTEST. Color the following image using in any medium you want: digital art, crayons, spray-painted macaroni–the sky is the limit. E-mail us a picture of your work at xplainthexmen(at)gmail(dot)com, with the subject line CORBEAU COLORING CONTEST, by January 14 January 21. The listener whose Corbeau comes closest to the transcendent perfection of its namesake will receive a physical Corbeau–glitter glue and all–to hoard privately or share with their remaining nine-thousand-odd peers at their discretion.
Alternately, Rachel made this in Blingee. Use it as you see fit:
Listen to the episode here!
THE 2014 SUPER DOCTOR ASTRONAUT PETER CORBEAU AWARDS FOR EXCELLENCE IN X-CELLENCE
*Details of the Corbeau Coloring Contest will go up on Monday, because Rachel’s parents are visiting this weekend. We appreciate your patience.
CLASSIC CORBEAUS (for older X-material covered in the podcast during 2014)
LINKS AND ADDITIONAL READING
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In which we launch our first-ever giant-size special; God Loves, Man Kills is the definitive X-Men story; Bobby makes his R&MXtXM on-air debut; we repopulate the world with X-writers; Rachel is really excited about x-plaining X-Cutioner’s Song; Miles takes a strong stance on Wolverine’s mask; we award some awards; and it’s all your fault.
X-Plained
NEXT WEEK: Rachel and Chris Sims X-Plain Arcade
CORRECTION: In this episode, Rachel claims that there is only one Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau in the Marvel Multiverse. This is patently untrue. There are numerous versions of Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau in the Marvel Multiverse, who may or may not be able to combine Voltron-style into a giant Corbeau Singularity.
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!
Support us on Patreon!
Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!
Week of December 24, 2014
In which we sneak out of Christmas to review funnybooks, and Sixis finally (finally!) ends.
Reviewed:
*Pick of the Week (14:31)
Video reviews are made possible by the support of our Patreon subscribers. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
HI, LISTENERS! Some of you have been asking us to write an X-Men holiday gift guide. We think it’s very thoughtful of you to consider purchasing gifts for fictional characters, and to help you out, we have created this handy last-minute guide! Click through for our picks for Beast, Shadowcat, and six more…
THE COMPLETE GUMBY
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FOR: Beast. We already know Hank McCoy is a fan of Art Clokey’s weird green guy–in fact, back in his Defenders days, he used to collect and trade bootleg Gumby VHSs (seriously–it’s canon). Modern Beast has been having a rough time; give him an excuse to unwind with seven disks’ worth of psychedelic claymation, and maybe a plate of pot brownies.
(And now we’re imagining a stoner comedy starring Hank McCoy and Abigail Brand. MARVEL. CALL US.)
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WHAT HE’D PREFER: Moral certitude.
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BACKUP GIFT:Dr. Strange: A Separate Reality, by Steve Englehart and Frank Brunner, because you know Beast would be super into a comic about a buddy of his that two dudes literally wrote while wandering around Central Park tripping balls in the middle of the night.
RIP IT: HOW TO DECONSTRUCT AND RECONSTRUCT THE CLOTHES OF YOUR DREAMS, BY ELISSA MYRICH
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FOR: Shadowcat. The X-Men’s most die-hard superfashionista can always use another tool in her arsenal–after all, you never know when you’ll find yourself hankering for a new costume with no Shi’ar tech in sight.
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WHAT SHE’D PREFER: A canonical girlfriend.
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BACKUP GIFT: The Complete Elfquest, vol. 1.
MAGNUM, P.I.’S SIGNATURE HAWAIIAN SHIRT
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FOR: Sunspot. I mean, Bobby da Costa probably already owns one of these, or six, but you can really never have too many backup Magnum, P.I. shirts, right?
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WHAT HE’D PREFER: To actually be Magnum, P.I.
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BACKUP GIFT: A signed pinup of Tom Selleck.
THE REQUISITE UGLY HOLIDAY SWEATER
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FOR: Cyclops. Left to his own devices, Scott Summers basically dresses like a six-year-old and has a long tradition of happily sporting really, really horrible sweaters; so you know he’ll at least get some use from it. (Plus, if he hates it, he’ll probably be too polite to say anything.)
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WHAT HE’D PREFER: A world in which he’s functionally irrelevant.
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BACKUP GIFT: Socks.
ERROL FLYNN FILM COLLECTION
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FOR: Nightcrawler. Kurt Wagner is a huge Errol Flynn fan, to the point of modifying his image inducer to reproduce the visage of the classic swashbuckler; so he’s sure to enjoy a boxed set of Flynn’s most famous films.
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WHAT HE’D PREFER: A soul.
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BACKUP GIFT: A collection of John Donne sonnets.
LOCAS: THE MAGGIE AND HOPIE STORIES, BY JAIME HERNANDEZ
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FOR: Magik. I have no actual narrative justification for this. I just think Magik would really dig some Love & Rockets.
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WHAT SHE’D PREFER: Nothing your fragile mortal mind can grasp, kid.
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BACKUP GIFT: A iPod preloaded with pop-culture nostalgia podcasts. For someone who runs with the unusually pop-savvy New Mutants, Illyana has spent relatively little of her life with any kind of media access.
CLASSIC X-MEN PVC SET
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FOR: Iceman. Bobby Drake is all about original-five nostalgia, and he’s kind of a goofball, so he would probably enjoy the hell out of this X-Men PVC set, featuring the original team, Professor X, and Magneto (and one of the better Iceman sculpts out there).
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WHAT HE’D PREFER: For Professor X to still be alive and everyone to be friends again.
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BACKUP GIFT: An Elsa tiara.
ALL SEVEN SEASONS OF DESIGNING WOMEN
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FOR: Rogue. Look, Rogue does not need another pair of fancy gloves. What Rogue needs is seven seasons of the most badass, progressive, Bechdel-test-acing Southern-lady sitcom of all time.
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WHAT SHE’D PREFER: A three-day bender with Julia Sugarbaker, and maybe conscious control over her powers.
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BACKUP GIFT: Another pair of fancy gloves.
A question we get pretty frequently is “Where did Rachel get those red sunglasses?” The answer–almost universally–is “Which ones?”
I own a lot of red sunglasses–in fact, for a long time, all the sunglasses I owned were red. It’s part homage, part aesthetic preference (red sunglasses are cool, okay?), and part security blanket: Cyclops is a character I identify pretty closely with for a lot of reasons, and the sunglasses have become a pretty central touchstone for that metaphor. (Plus, everyone needs at least one ridiculous visual affectation, right?)
Suffice to say: I’ve gotten really good at hunting down red sunglasses. And this week, I’m going to teach you my secrets.
Fair warning: This is gonna get involved. In fact, it’s gonna get involved enough that I decided pretty early on to break it into three parts. Part one will cover the movie versions of Cyclops’s shades. Part two will be a general hunting guide–where and how to search for what you’re after, brands, options, and some personal favorites. And in part three, I’ll point you to real-world matches for specific pairs from the comics. (If you’ve got any requests on that front, drop ’em in the comments here, and I’ll see what I can do!)
I’m starting with the movies because they’re the most precise of the bunch in terms of brands and details (to a point, anyway, but we’ll get into that shortly). With one exception, they’re also the highest-ticket items by a wide margin. Most of the sunglasses you’ll see in the later installments of this guide will hover around or under $20; but these can pretty easily run you upwards of $500, depending on the level of precision and customization you’re after.
Click through for the red lenses of the silver screen! (Includes a very minor spoilers for X-Men: Days of Future Past.)
Listen to the episode here!
Links and Further Reading