cyclops – Page 18 – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

166 – Proteus Has Two Mommies

October 1, 2017 Jay 69 comments

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we finally announce our NYCC panel lineup; Boom Boom is the Gina Linetti of X-Force; we don’t actually know very much about the New Warriors; Cable grows as a person; Cyclops makes an ethically dubious call; Warren Kenneth Worthington III is a jerk; Jay gets very angry at a fictional character; no one gets a happy ending and the skeleton was inside you all along.

X-PLAINED:

Penance (but not that Penance)
Our actual, for-real NYCC panel details
“Kings of Pain”
New Mutants Annual #7
New Warriors Annual #1
Uncanny X-Men Annual #15
X-Factor Annual #6
The Alliance of Evil
Harness
Piecemeal
Genetech
IDIC
Symbolic chess
The New Warriors
The Clean Plate Club from Hell
The Pec Twins
ReBoot
A really screwed up debate
Magneto vs. Human Nature
Privilege and Callouts

NEXT WEEK: Summers Family Bullshit on the Moon!

COME SEE US LIVE AT NEW YORK COMIC CON, WITH SPECIAL GUESTS CHRIS CLAREMONT AND LOUISE SIMONSON!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 163 – Shut Up, Conscience

September 17, 2017 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Soviet Plot is my favorite porn mag. (Marvel Comics Presents #10)

In case you were wondering whether this was an Ann Nocenti story: yes. (Marvel Comics Presents #10)

This picnic is terrible. (Marvel Comics Presents #11)

“Just step out back to the kidnap van!” (Marvel Comics Presents #12)

These fuckers are the worst people in the story. (Marvel Comics Presents #13)

Okay, but seriously, I want a fort like this. (Marvel Comics Presents #11)

“We’ll talk about kyriarchy later, kiddo.” (Marvel Comics Presents #13)

“Okay, but… why did you resign?” (Marvel Comics Presents #14)

Oof. (Marvel Comics Presents #14)

In their defense, this is pretty terrifying. (Marvel Comics Presents #15)

If only they’d given him mongoose blood, he could’a gotten super speed! (Marvel Comics Presents #15)

THESE ASSHOLES, SERIOUSLY. (Marvel Comics Presents #15)

“How did your grandpa die, Zackery?” “Narrative necessity.” (Marvel Comics Presents #16)

And then nothing was ever okay again. The end! (Marvel Comics Presents #17)

Cyclops: Still the worst at vacations. (Marvel Comics Presents #17)

Fun fact: the last time Cyclops was actively hallucinating, he kicked Master Mold’s ass. FORESHADOWING? (Marvel Comics Presents #17)

Moira, this is not an acceptable way to science. Who do you think you are, Charles Xavier? (Marvel Comics Presents #18)

Okay, but did you consider that she might be like one of those cool lizards who can run on water? (Marvel Comics Presents #18)

Cyclops may be a jerk to adults, but he’s canonically pretty decent with little kids. (Marvel Comics Presents #18)

…well, fuck. (Marvel Comics Presents #18)

…well, FUCK. (Marvel Comics Presents #19)

Seriously, Dr. Mustache Guy, what the hell is wrong with you? (Marvel Comics Presents #19)

“I need helper robots. I KNOW, I’LL BUILD LITTLE NAKED ALIENS. THAT’LL BE COOL.” (Marvel Comics Presents #19)

More servitors, because if I have to see this nonsense, you do, too. (Marvel Comics Presents #20)

Shut up, Conscience. (Marvel Comics Presents #20)

“Look, they forgot I even EXISTED for three issues!” (Marvel Comics Presents #20)

“But, like, not the person. The concept. But not really in this story. Anyway, you get the idea, right? Right?” (Marvel Comics Presents #20)

This plan is terrible. (Marvel Comics Presents #21)

Aw. That’s… sort of nice? In an about-to-explode kind of way. (Marvel Comics Presents #24)

NEXT EPISODE: The Mutant Revolution, Live at Rose City Comic Con!

LINKS & FURTHER LISTENING

We talked about the Daredevil Inferno tie-ins in Episode 112 – Embers of Inferno (feat. Sam Humphries).
For a lot of discussion of the Cold War, check out Episode 114 – Meltdown.
The Billy Ireland Cartoon Library & Museum is seriously awesome.

163 – Shut Up, Conscience

September 11, 2017 Jay 23 comments

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In which Rose City Comic Con was in fact pretty awesome; we return to Marvel Presents; Colossus has a bad day; Ann Nocenti engages in some bipartisan satire; Cyclops has a bad day; Moira MacTaggert gets possessed again; Master Mold is really hard to kill; you should absolutely not send Jay naked leprechaun pictures; sentinels are basically rationalization engines; and that is really not how consciences work.

NOTE: In this episode, we said that the U.S.S.R. dissolved in 1989. That actually happened in 1991.

ADDITIONAL NOTE: THE NYCC PANEL HAS BEEN MOVED. IT IS ON THURSDAY, NOT FRIDAY.

X-PLAINED:

Sentinel Aesthetics
Prime Sentinels
“Colossus: God’s Country”
Butt physics
The Cold War
Colossus’s feelings about porn
The Billy Ireland Cartoon Library
Some varyingly dubious politics
The Cold Warriors
Alexander, who is probably not actually either Colonel Sanders or Howard Hughes
Bipartisan satire
Jay’s grandfather
An uncomfortable picnic
Limbs
Number Six (but not that one)
Terrible neighbors
“Cyclops: The Retribution Affair”
Bobbie and Mary Campbell
Master Mold (again)
Stephen Lang (again)
Servitors
A well-honed lobster alert system
The Retribution Virus
Conscience
A terrible party
Kitty Pryde’s Gal Pal Squad
Community Organizer Magneto

NEXT EPISODE: Live from Rose City Comic Con!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 162 – Naked in Canada

September 3, 2017 Jay 7 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Come to our RCCC party and meetup! Details here!

This story looks cheerful! (Marvel Comics Presents #72)

Oho, I see what you did, there, Barry Windsor-Smith! (Marvel Comics Presents #72)

(The indefinite article, not Ororo Munroe.) (Marvel Comics Presents #72)

“Why did you resign?” (Marvel Comics Presents #73)

That palette! (Marvel Comics Presents #73)

The Professor is a huge jerk. (Marvel Comics Presents #74)

Wolverine’s self-image is… somewhat alarming. (Marvel Comics Presents #76)

Terrific use of sound effects, either way. (Marvel Comics Presents #77)

Hell, as designed by Lisa Frank. (Marvel Comics Presents #78)

That linework, though! (Marvel Comics Presents #79)

I know it’s supposed to be an alarm, but I can’t shake the idea that Wolverine is just yelling “AAOOOGAH” over and over. (Marvel Comics Presents #80)

Seriously, what an asshole. (Marvel Comics Presents #81)

Well, shit. (Marvel Comics Presents #82)

Even a functionally feral Wolverine knows that ninjas can’t catch you if you’re on fire! (Marvel Comics Presents #83)

This man has literally no redeeming characteristics. (Marvel Comics Presents #83)

Get good and at home, Wolverine, because you’re gonna be spending a lot of time in variations on this scenario. (Marvel Comics Presents #84)

And then, things got weird. Weirder. Differently weird. (Marvel Comics Presents #84)

The twist was the lack of twist that turned out to be the actual twist! (Marvel Comics Presents #84)

I’m still not entirely sure whether this is supposed to have happened for real or not; and that’s why I love this story. (Marvel Comics Presents #84)

THAT. PALETTE. (Marvel Comics Presents #84)

WOW. (Marvel Comics Presents #84)

Next Episode: More MCP, featuring “God’s Country” and “The Retribution Affair”!

LINKS & FURTHER READING

Come see us at RCCC, and party with us on Friday night!
The Milgram experiment is both horrifying and really important.
Here are a large number of photographs of snow leopards with their tails in their mouths.

162 – Naked In Canada

September 3, 2017 Jay 49 comments

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Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

In which almost everyone is better than Romulus; Barry Windsor-Smith continues to draw the best naked X-Men; Jay has strong feelings about Wolverine’s origins; Miles still hasn’t seen The Prisoner; when in doubt, it’s probably Kang the Conqueror and/or Mystique; we remain unqualified to give bear-fighting advice; you should not hide out in a nuclear reactor; and the Coffee-a-Go-Go has probably been turned into a new-wave sushi bar or something.

X-PLAINED:

The Professor (Truett Hudson)
Romulus
Jay & Miles at Rose City Comic Con
Marvel Comics Presents #72-84
“Weapon X”
Backstory attrition
A really good opening montage
Some very effective use of color
Healing hair
The original villain behind Weapon X
A retconned origin of Wolverine’s claws
Dr. Abraham Cornelius
Carol Hines
Terry Gilliam’s Weapon X
Audio vs. text-based mind control
An action figure in dubious taste
The Milgram Experiment
An adaptation we’d like to see
A bad place to hide
Subsequent “Weapon X” retcons
How Cyclops’s powers have (and haven’t) developed
Jay’s general failure at X-tourism

NEXT WEEK: More MCP, featuring “The Retribution Affair” and “God’s Country”!

You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 160 – Hank McCoy and the Hickey of Destiny

August 20, 2017 Jay 4 comments

Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Rowr. (X-Factor: Prisoner of Love)

Beast goes hardboiled. (X-Factor: Prisoner of Love)

“Join me on the windowsill, that we may exchange portentous but vague endearments.” (X-Factor: Prisoner of Love)

This seems like it’s going to be a really big deal, but it’s not. (X-Factor: Prisoner of Love)

Eldritch horrors, amirite? (X-Factor: Prisoner of Love)

One of the coolest things about the art in Prisoner of Love is how well Guice makes not-actually-supernatural things look really eerie. (X-Factor: Prisoner of Love)

Well, that can’t be good. (X-Factor: Prisoner of Love)

This page is kinda Prisoner of Love in a nutshell: the symbolism is basically illusory, but it’s so stylish that I don’t really care. (X-Factor: Prisoner of Love)

THAT OUTFIT, THO. (X-Factor: Prisoner of Love)

“This would be so much cooler if one of us could turn into a bear.” (X-Factor: Prisoner of Love)

That’s rough, buddy. (X-Factor: Prisoner of Love)

Well, then. (X-Factor: Prisoner of Love)

AND NOW, CYBURAI! (X-Factor #63)

That window looks super technoorganic, though, right? (X-Factor #63)

NICELY DONE, BOBBY. (X-Factor #63)

“We’ll go rescue your girlfriend in a sec, but first check out our rad new costumes!” (X-Factor #63)

The Cyburai.

Nah, sorry, these are the actual Cyburai. Still definitely a boy band, though. (X-Factor #63)

Spoiler: Optimus Prime dies. (X-Factor #64)

Cheer up, emu kid. (X-Factor #64)

Possibly the most awkward ending image ever. (X-Factor #64)

NEXT EPISODE: Kitty Pryde enrolls at St. Subtext’s Academy for Young Ladies.

LINKS & FURTHER READING

Come see us at Rose City Comic Con and New York Comic Con!
Seriously, Bobby’s powers would be super deadly.

160 – Hank McCoy and the Hickey of Destiny

August 20, 2017 Jay 34 comments

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In which the ladies love Hank McCoy; feelings are terrible; wereStarlins stalk the night; Stan Lee is definitely trying to sell you a car; Iceman has a lot to prove; we bid a reluctant farewell to Louise Simonson’s tenure on X-Factor; and yes, video reviews will be back eventually.

X-PLAINED:

The Intelligentsia
Jay & Miles at Rose City Comic Con and New York Comic Con
Prestige Format comics
X-Factor: Prisoner of Love
X-Factor #63-64
A possible cameo
Synthia Naip
Several ways to identify individuals from outer space
Visual conceits of supernatural noir
A deeply unhealthy relationship
The mysterious wereStarlin
The hickey of destiny
Whether Starfox would fuck a crystal
Cyburai and/or cyberpunks
What makes for good team costumes
Post-Iceman cleanup
The secret origins of Opal Tanaka
Tatsu’o
Hiro
The Gal Pal Squad
Assorted macho bullshit
The end of Louise Simonson’s involvement with the central X-line
Where to find Dr. Nemesis
Magneto’s D&D alignment
Whether and when video reviews will return

NEXT EPISODE: Girls’ School from Heck!

You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 158 – No Focus, Less Direction

August 6, 2017 Jay 4 comments

Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

“Oh, like THAT’s a big deal or something.” (Uncanny X-Men #273)

That’s a lot of X-Men. (Uncanny X-Men #273)

Bobby, you incorrigible scamp! Way to EXPLODE THE PIPES IN THE SOLE BATHROOM SHARED BY EIGHTEEN PEOPLE. (Uncanny X-Men #273)

The original creative teams will be played by Storm in this panel. (Uncanny X-Men #273)

Awk-ward. (Uncanny X-Men #273)

Telekinetics don’t need shower curtains. (Uncanny X-Men #273)

We unironically adore this ridiculous pair of panels. (Uncanny X-Men #273)

This is a lot creepier if you remember that the Shadow King took over Jean permanently in one of the earths Excalibur visited… (Uncanny X-Men #273)

Meanwhile, in the sexy, sexy Savage Land… (Uncanny X-Men #274)

Between the art and the cascade of dramatic Magneto captions, this splash kinda encapsulates the whole arc. (Uncanny X-Men #274)

Whoa. (Uncanny X-Men #274)

To be fair, that was always a really iffy battle tactic. (Uncanny X-Men #274)

“Also, am I imagining the sudden switch to romance comic framing?” (Uncanny X-Men #274)

No one gets dressed more dramatically than Magneto. (Uncanny X-Men #274)

Zaladane: boring as hell, but damn does she know how to dress! (Uncanny X-Men #274)

That’s prudent, I suppose, for a certain value of the term. (Uncanny X-Men #274)

Please note that:
A) Ka-Zar is calling Rogue “Red” despite the fact that her hair is clearly brown.
B) A mostly-naked man and his tiger buddy are clearly not REMOTELY the weirdest things those S.H.I.E.L.D. troops have shared a transport with.
(Uncanny X-Men #275)

It sure is 1991. (Uncanny X-Men #275)

Every goddamn time. (Uncanny X-Men #275)

Where’s an editorial footnote when you actually need one? (Oh, fine, I’ll do it: See Classic X-Men #12 and #19, respectively! -Jaded Jay) (Uncanny X-Men #275)

Well, that’s convenient timing! (Uncanny X-Men #275)

Murder is negotiable, but frontal nudity? NEVER. (Uncanny X-Men #275)

NEXT WEEK: The end of New Mutants!

LINKS & FURTHER LISTENING

The Lightning and the Storm (Miles & Elisabeth’s now-complete Thor podcast)
Jay’s Instagram

158 – No Focus, Less Direction

August 6, 2017 Jay 36 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

In which we return triumphant from hiatus; it’s still always Inferno in here; no one should ever under any circumstances date Cameron Hodge; Kenneth is a fundamentally hilarious name; Magneto’s family gets retconned to death; Pterosaurs are still the absolute worst; and Magik totally deserves a sidekick.

X-PLAINED:

Ka-Zar’s real name
Shanna the She-Devil
Our new production set-up
What we did on our summer vacations
Previously on X-Men
Further limits of the mutant metaphor
Uncanny X-Men #273-275
A crisis of leadership
A comic that is a metaphor that is also a comic
Cable’s OkCupid profile
Changing creative dynamics on the X-line
Archangel’s middle name
Gambit vs. Wolverine
Censorship Steam
The protean X-bathroom
Magneto’s retconned family
Colonel Semyanov
A perhaps ill-conceived team-up
The Self-Styled Mistress of Magnetism
Some remarkably lucky timing
The semantics of heel turns
Gender and sidekicks
Mr. Sinister’s powers

NEXT EPISODE: The end of New Mutants!

You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)