charles xavier – Page 14 – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 186 – Right in the Melee

February 25, 2018 Jay One comment

Listen to the podcast here!

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Sunfire’s new costume. (Uncanny X-Men #284)

Spoiler: Nah. (Uncanny X-Men #284)

The shiniest Predators. (Uncanny X-Men #284)

This is gonna seem more ironic in a few pages. (Uncanny X-Men #284)

That’s our Sunfire! (Uncanny X-Men #284)

Yep. The folks in the Predator masks look… exactly like humans. (Uncanny X-Men #284)

Spoiler: The cake is a lie. (Uncanny X-Men #285)

Interdimensional travel faces. (Uncanny X-Men #285)

A very expository landing. (Uncanny X-Men #285)

I would make a “No groveling! This is a proper Soviet household!” joke, but I feel like The Twelve Chairs might be an excessively deep cut even by my standards. (Uncanny X-Men #285)

Oh, hey, it’s a mysterious stranger! Doubt he’ll turn out to be anyone important. (Uncanny X-Men #285)

The Martha Stewart of whatever this dimension is called. (Uncanny X-Men #285)

Meanwhile in a different genre… (Uncanny X-Men #285)

LOOK AT THAT EXCELLENT LIZARD FACE. (Uncanny X-Men #285)

We give Portacio a lot of grief over his costume designs, but this one is really cool. (Uncanny X-Men #285)

He’s explaining the basic tenets of Socialism. (Uncanny X-Men #285)

“Ha! My brother was drawn by Dave Cockrum! You’re no brother of mine!” (Uncanny X-Men #285)

Okay, but Beast and Cyclops did it better. (Uncanny X-Men #286)

Aw, those scamps. (Uncanny X-Men #286)

See this? This is why the world is probably doomed. (Uncanny X-Men #286)

It’s rough being a regular in an ongoing superhero comic. (Uncanny X-Men #286)

NOT OKAY. (Uncanny X-Men #286)

Team-up move! (Uncanny X-Men #286)

“Fortunately, there’s this podcast…” (Uncanny X-Men #286)

NEXT EPISODE: The not particularly secret lives of the X-Men!

LINKS & FURTHER READING:

Come see us at Emerald City Comic Con!
You can hear all about “Judgment War” in Episode 128 – A Stupid Way to Die, and Episode 133 – Feisty Little Fellow from the Stars.
And here’s the Kids in the Hall “Inexperienced Cannibal” sketch.

186 – Right in the Melee

February 25, 2018 Jay 32 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

In which you are the wind beneath our wings; Sunfire doesn’t quit the team even once; the X-Men do “Judgment War,” kinda; Iceman’s clothes are mostly incidental; Mikhail Rasputin is a surprisingly accomplished vintner; Colossus has a bad day; Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau is a core value; and we are REALLY excited about our plans for Emerald City Comic Con!

X-PLAINED:

Colossus vs. Breakworld
Jay & Miles at Emerald City Comic Con
Uncanny X-Men #284-286
“Judgment War”-Lite
Byrne burns
The collective noun for Edidins
Sunfire’s new threads
The evolution of Whilce Portacio
Emma Frost’s dropped plot threads
Iceman fashion (or lack thereof)
Sha-har-a-zath
The Savior
A mysterious vintner
Archangel’s hair
Mikhail Rasputin
Space-Person disambiguation
Peril and the vanquishing thereof
The continuing adventures of the XSE
Chuck Cherkle
Sara Gray’s unrealized potential
The Great Excalibur Bake-Off

NEXT EPISODE: Bizarre Adventures #127

COME SEE US AT EMERALD CITY COMIC CON, MARCH 1-4, IN SEATTLE!

Find links to the stories mentioned in this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 180 – Lawful Badass

January 14, 2018 Jay 3 comments

Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

What you see is pretty much what you get. (Uncanny X-Men #281)

Cybernetic fuckboys. Don’t worry, they’re all going to die soon. For now. Mostly. (Uncanny X-Men #281)

That is… certainly some dialogue, there. (Uncanny X-Men #281)

And that’s why she’s the boss. (Uncanny X-Men #281)

“We eat dinner naked. It’s very sexy. And then we do the sexy dishes, sexily.” (Uncanny X-Men #281)

Oh, no! Not Bevatron! (Uncanny X-Men #281)

If you had told me a year ago that there was armor worse than Cameron Hodge’s ruby quartz armor, I would not have believed you. Mea culpa. (Uncanny X-Men #281)

Oh, no, not again. (Uncanny X-Men #281)

OH HELL YES. (Uncanny X-Men #282)

Professor X is kind of a sore winner. (Uncanny X-Men #282)

And then, suddenly, Storm was telekinetic. (Uncanny X-Men #282)

That’s gotta sting. (Uncanny X-Men #282)

“But first, The Very Hungry Caterpillar.” (Uncanny X-Men #282)

Earth-1191 is AMAZING. (Uncanny X-Men #282)

I really want to know if all these criminals dressed up special for the occasion, or if this is just what everyone hangs out looking like in the future. (Uncanny X-Men #282)

ABOUT DAMN TIME. (See what I did, there?) (Uncanny X-Men #282)

“Ha, ha!” (Uncanny X-Men #283)

Aw, this kid. (Uncanny X-Men #283)

“I’m going to the comics shop to cancel my subscription RIGHT NOW!” (Uncanny X-Men #283)

Bishop, I know you come from a difficult timeline, but even you have to appreciate how rad that Walt Simonson Archangel design is. (Uncanny X-Men #283)

Are… Iceman and Colossus levitating? (Uncanny X-Men #283)

This is why we–or at least the Upstarts–can’t have nice things. (Uncanny X-Men #283)

NEXT EPISODE: Guns ‘n’ Pouches!

180 – Lawful Badass

January 14, 2018 Jay 59 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

In which Jay is deeply invested in The Gifted; Trevor Fitzroy is generally inexcusable; there are a lot of reasons to be uncomfortable in the Hellfire Club; the mix just got altered in this little clambake; Jean Grey (kind of) dies (again); Earth-1191 gives the Age of Apocalypse some glam competition; Lucas Bishop is a pretty decent metaphor for fan culture; everyone is probably Kang the Conqueror; and now Miles really has no excuse for not watching The Prisoner.

X-PLAINED:

The Chronomancer and his Chronobots
The Gifted
Lucas Bishop’s creative origins
Trevor Fitzroy
Goatee Theory
X-Factor #67
Uncanny X-Men #281-283
Dapper Lesbian Shinobi Shaw
A briefly useful mnemonic
Cybernetic fuckboys
The return of Warren Kenneth Worthington III’s hair
Beef and Bevatron
The deaths of the Hellions
Warhammer
Some of the challenges of X-Plaining the ’90s
Bringing a knife to a Sentinel fight
Bantam
A bunch of bad guys from the future
Bishop
Randall
Malcolm
Earth-1191
The Gamemaster
X-Men we’d like to see come out as trans (revisited)
Whether either or both of us are Kang the Conquerer

NEXT EPISODE: Pouches and Guns

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 178 – Giant-Size Special #6

January 7, 2018 Jay 2 comments

Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

The All-New, All-Yelling X-Men! (X-Men #1)

Say what you want about Jim Lee’s art, but his Magneto is GREAT. (X-Men #1)

You’d think S.H.I.E.L.D. would pay Nick Fury enough to buy a suit that fits. (X-Men #1)

Fun fact: almost every spot illustration of an X-Man that you’ve ever seen comes from this or the following issue. (X-Men #1)

We are worried about Psylocke. (X-Men #1)

CORRECTION: Gambit did not kiss Jean. He kissed a robot replica of Jean, which then exploded. We regret the error, but Gambit probably regrets it more. (X-Men #1)

LOOK AT THIS FASHION GOD. (X-Men #1)

“Also, one of them has an underscore in his Twitter handle.” (X-Men #1)

Magneto, master of text. (X-Men #1)

Another image from early in Lee’s tenure that shows up a lot in other publications. (X-Men #2)

Okay, NOW we get it: Nick Fury spent his entire suit budget on pouches. (X-Men #2)

Never not hilarious. (X-Men #2)

We’re just gonna let this page speak for itself. (X-Men #3)

Raise a glass. (X-Men #3)

NEXT EPISODE: Havok gets a job.

OUR PRODUCER MATT HUNTER IS A SUPER RAD DUDE! HERE IS WHERE YOU CAN FIND HIM ON THE INTERNET:

THE 2017 SUPER DOCTOR ASTRONAUT PETER CORBEAU AWARDS FOR EXCELLENCE AT X-CELLENCE:

Best Writer: Charles Soule, for Astonishing X-Men
Best Artist: Alessandro Vitti, for Iceman
Best Colorist: Felipe Sobreiro, for Generation X
Best Ongoing Solo Series: Iceman
Best Ongoing Team Series: Generation X
Irene Adler Memorial Award for Most Anticipated Upcoming Series: Storm, by Ta Nehisi Coates and Jen Bartel
How-Was-This-So-Good? Award for a Premise That Shouldn’t Have Worked But Did: “Weapons of Mutant Destruction” by Greg Pak
Cyclops Has A Good Day: Champions #12, for good friends being good friends.
So That Happened: Last page of Jean Grey #10
Nate Grey Award for Best Cross-Dimensional Import: Bloodstorm in X-Men: Blue
Coming Back Strong: Hope Summers in Jean Grey
Norman Osborne Award for Gratuitous Resurrection: Logan
Light of Our Life: Honey Badger
These Deep Cuts Form a Picture: Gifted
Best Non-X Marvel Title: Runaways by Rainbow Rowell and Kris Anka

Classic Corbeaus

Buried Treasure: “Weapon X,” as published in Marvel Comics Presents
You Tried: Chris Claremont, circa 1991
Why Havok Didn’t Finish His Dissertation This Year: He was busy being Magistrate on Genosha
Object Permanence Is Overrated Award for Inconsistent Corporeality: Amanda Sefton
Murder Rainbow Award for Most Entertainingly and Chromatically Redesigned Costumes: Late-run New Mutants
Lurking in the Wings Award: Guido Carosella
Sauron’s Jorts Award for Draculas Who Are Not Draculas but Try Real Hard: Crimson and the Blackbirds
Let Us Never Speak of This Again: Charles Xavier’s swimsuit area as distressingly rendered by Whilce Portacio
Major Christopher Summers Award for Most Awkward Family Reunion: Rachel Summers and Jean Grey in “Days of Future Present”
Kitty Pryde Sartorial Exception of Excellence: The Rocketeer ensemble from X-Men: True Friends
On-the-Nose Award for Effective Use of Heavy-Handed Metaphor: Genosha
Best Jacket Ever Award: Cyclops in X-Factor Forever
Erik the Red Award for Justifying the Existence of This Podcast: Jen Askani
Future Past Award for Most Anticipated Upcoming Series Coverage: X-Factor

AND FINALLY:

Best Listeners of Any Podcast, Ever: YOU. Extra hard, this year.

178 – Giant-Size Special #6

December 24, 2017 Jay 78 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

In which we enter a new era of X-Men; Magneto reluctantly returns to villainy; Jay tries to like X-Men volume 2; when in doubt, you should open your story with a space fight; Nick Fury has so many pouches; experimenting on babies unsurprisingly backfires; psychic powers are pink; Claremont deserved better; Producer Matt makes his on-air debut; and you (yes, you!) are once again the recipients of a Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Award for Excellence in X-Cellence.

X-PLAINED:

Loa
The 1991 relaunch of X-Men
X-Men vol. 2 #1-3
Chris Claremont’s departure from Marvel
X-Men vs. Uncanny X-Men
Blue Team
Gold Team
Why Magneto is emblematic of Claremont’s vision for the X-Men
Why there are so many copies of X-Men #1
How comics sales are counted
Our very different perspectives on X-Men #1
A space fight
Revision vs. reversion
What may or may not be in Nick Fury’s pouches
Daring loungewear worn well
Fabian Cortez
Flatscans
Disproportionate escalation
The Acolytes
Delgado, kind of, maybe
Several notable absences
The Magneto Protocols
That one time Magneto got turned into a baby
Some dubious science
A semi-invisible plane
Code Silver
Further miracles of magnetism
Producer Matt Hunter
Chiptunes
Podcasting about video games
The Fourth Annual Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Awards for Excellence at X-Cellence
Best X-Toon holiday episodes

NEXT EPISODE: Havok gets a job!

Special thanks to Cordelia for her help on the episode opening!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 177 – The Less You Know

December 18, 2017 Jay 3 comments

Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Luckily for Terrence, the actual X-Men were ALSO lurking by the playground! (Be X-Tra Safe With Blockbuster KidPrint and the X-Men)

“Look, to be honest, several of us are DEFINITELY not trustworthy.” (Be X-Tra Safe With Blockbuster KidPrint and the X-Men)

“Also, would you say that your kidneys are in good condition?” (Be X-Tra Safe With Blockbuster KidPrint and the X-Men)

BEAST, NO. (Be X-Tra Safe With Blockbuster KidPrint and the X-Men)

Gambit is definitely the Least Safe X-Man. (Be X-Tra Safe With Blockbuster KidPrint and the X-Men)

So, that’s a thing that exists. (The Uncanny X-Men at the State Fair of Texas)

Circle of Death time is the best time! (The Uncanny X-Men at the State Fair of Texas)

Evolution in action. (The Uncanny X-Men at the State Fair of Texas)

I absolutely do not believe that you did not see anyone unusual at a state fair. (The Uncanny X-Men at the State Fair of Texas)

They’re so bad at not being menacing. (The Uncanny X-Men at the State Fair of Texas)

“He sees you forever and ever, Alan!” (The Uncanny X-Men at the State Fair of Texas)

This panel is amazing. (The Uncanny X-Men at the State Fair of Texas)

“Let us never speak of today again.” (The Uncanny X-Men at the State Fair of Texas)

The contents of one of the greatest minds on Earth. (The Uncanny X-Men at the State Fair of Texas)

This is a fundamentally self-defeating activity page, and also a really boring connect-the-dots puzzle. (The Uncanny X-Men at the State Fair of Texas)

Let’s just assume that it’s a slow news day. (Smokescreen)

Centaur? Immortal Iron Fist? WHY NOT BOTH? (Smokescreen)

Kids can’t resist a plaid vest. (Smokescreen)

“So… what you’re basically saying is that he’s a teenager?” (Smokescreen)

She still gets taken out like a chump, though. (Smokescreen)

“Hey, wanna see some of his shrink’s notes, while we’re grossly violating his privacy?” (Smokescreen)

MARK TRAIL, NO! (Smokescreen)

oh my god look at this asshole (Smokescreen)

“Tell me, Bret, how much do you know about the migratory patterns of mallard ducks?” (Smokescreen)

That is certainly one way to do a thing. (Smokescreen)

NEXT EPISODE: Giant-Size Winter Special!

177 – The Less You Know

December 18, 2017 Jay 36 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

In which we discuss several Very Special Issues; the real cautionary tale is not to trust Hank McCoy; horses are vehicles of lies and heartbreak; the X-Men shill for a state fair; whatever you’re doing, Cyclops is here to stop you; smoking is a gateway to some really weird vices; and we want YOU to design the latest X-Men PSA!

X-PLAINED:

The alternate-timeline terrible choices of Hank McCoy
Our wholly unfounded theories about Spongebob Squarepants
Be X-Tra Safe With Blockbuster KidPrint and the X-Men
VHS tapes
Blockbuster KidPrint
Mariano Nicieza
Some Fundamental Problems With Superhero PSAs
A man who may or may not be D-Man
Terrence
Why Cable should deliver more PSAs
Why D.A.R.E. doesn’t work
Varying coherent cautionary tales
The Uncanny X-Men at the State Fair of Texas
A tragic lack of carnies
Danny the centaur and his very intense feelings about horses
Several exciting attractions at the State Fair of Texas
Big Tex
Activities
Smokescreen
Bret Jackson
Some of the lesser-known danger of smoking
Whether Danny Rand can turn into a centaur
Hanging out and other gateways to delinquency
The South Side Social Club
Jake
Etiquette of following teenagers around
A villainous plan so ineffective that it’s actually kind of sad
X-Men you should hire for your PSAs
Our thoughts on the Disney/Fox merger
Where to find Bloodstorm
Baby Jumping

NEXT EPISODE: Giant-Size Winter Special!

LISTENER CHALLENGE: Send your X-Men PSAs to [email protected] with the subject PSA by December 27!

You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

173 – The Muir Island Saga, Part 2

November 19, 2017 Jay 43 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

In which Abs-lantis will not be denied; “slightly traumatized” is basically the default state of Xavier’s original students; we pick up the slack for Nicieza; Banshee and Moira MacTaggert probably have an active and varied love life; Xavier miscounts the X-Men; we look back over the Claremont/Simonson era of the X-Universe; and Jay makes a case for the re-resurrection of Jean Grey.

X-PLAINED:

X-Men: Red
Namor’s beard
The conclusion of the Muir Island Saga
Uncanny X-Men #280
X-Factor #70.
Cool orange spacesuits that make you immune to telepathy
Off-brand Magneto hats
Literary terrors of our childhoods
Agents DeMarco & Heacock (R.I.P.)
Casual use of nuclear weaponry
The cavalry
The end of the Shadow King
The most dysfunctional timeline
Uncanny X-Men #200-278
The case for an eclectic X-Universe
X-Campus
Resurrections, and when they do and don’t work

NEXT EPISODE: Ed Piskor’s Grand Design

The visual companion to this episode will be up sometime before the end of 2017, by which point Jay’s lungs will hopefully be working again. Yay?

(Seriously, though, fuck this cold. Fuck this cold so much.)

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)