Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

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As Mentioned in Episode 467 – Disorganizing Principle

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And then Marrow whacked a centaur with a dinosaur, as happens. (Uncanny X-Men #373)
Piotr Rasputin, clown in training. (Uncanny X-Men #373)
Nice Sienkiewicz-style sketchiness… (Uncanny X-Men #373)
What’s up, Doctor Klaw? (Uncanny X-Men #373)
Poor Sarah… (Uncanny X-Men #373)
Mikhail turns a chair into a dinosaur to prove every point. (Uncanny X-Men #374)
Jeez, at least put a beanbag chair in the corner or something. (Uncanny X-Men #374)
Marrow 4.0 meets Marrow 1.0. (Uncanny X-Men #374)
Marrow 4.0 meets Marrow 2.0. (Uncanny X-Men #374)
For him, it was Tuesday. (Uncanny X-Men #374)
I… definitely knew it all along! It was obvious, really! (Uncanny X-Men #374)
“I wish I could just turn into a bird like in X-Men Evolution.” (X-Men #93)
I’m starting with the elf in the mirror… (X-Men #93)
Honestly, Rogue’s response would’ve been understandable regardless of the nature of her powers. (X-Men #93)
Polaris is a little… out of character in this arc. Get used to it, I guess. (X-Men #93)
“So were Mystique and Destiny… Roommates? Gal Pals?” (X-Men #93)
I appreciate a clear sense of panel-to-panel movement. Even more so when it’s Rogue kicking ass. (X-Men #93)
Sunfire ponders how to quit the scene. (X-Men #94)
You wish it was just one journal, Kitty. Just you wait. (X-Men #94)
I know all of the As stand for Apocalypse, but I like to think Destiny was just giving her prophecies excellent grades. (X-Men #94)
Listen, Rogue, it could be worse – your mom may have disappeared in the middle of a sincere conversation, but at least she didn’t throw you off a bridge to be picked up by an evil wizard lady and her attractive daughter! (X-Men #94)
NEXT TIME: Jubilee gets revenge!

467 – Disorganizing Principle

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In which Nightcrawler has a type; the Hill is a bad place to raise your kids up; Colossus introduces Marrow to art; we come out against autotrepanation; Mikhail Rasputin never learns; Destiny leaves clues from beyond the grave; and The Twelve looms.

X-PLAINED:

  • That one universe where Mystique raised Nightcrawler in an attic
  • An event in name only
  • Some shit that went down a while ago
  • The Hill (more) (again)
  • Uncanny X-Men #373-374
  • X-Men #93-94
  • Marrow as a child soldier
  • Rural Boston
  • Some asshole
  • Mikhail Rasputin (more) (again)
  • How to prove that you’re a god
  • The souls of furniture and some other things
  • The green psychic entity who’s been secretly controlling Mikhail Rasputin, I guess?
  • Ninja problems
  • B. Byron Biggs
  • Ronnie Lake
  • A Conspiracy
  • How Rogue and Destiny met
  • Compulsory heterosexuality
  • Destiny’s diaries
  • Prognostication vs. agenda-setting
  • Skrullverine’s power mimicry
  • How the Mannites could’ve been used in the Krakoan era

NEXT EPISODE: Secrets of Jubilee’s past!

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As Mentioned in Episode 456 – Until/Unless

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Techno-organic cover #1! (Uncanny X-Men #371)
Cheer up, Chuck – it’s just naptime at your school! I guess they all forgot their red and blue mats. (Uncanny X-Men #371)
I’m not so sure about this plot development, but… she’s just so happy! (Uncanny X-Men #371)
Hey, don’t judge: you look way grosser under your outer layer. (Uncanny X-Men #371)
“Dis was not in Gambit’s horoscope!” (Uncanny X-Men #371)
The Phalanx Covenant by Doctor Seuss. (Uncanny X-Men #371)
Techno-organic cover #2! (X-Men #91)
Take that, Billy G! You know what you did. (X-Men #91)
I love these weird faces and terrifying bone-trees! (X-Men #91)
Oof, brutal. (But nice dress, Rogue!) (X-Men #91)
URRKK indeed! (X-Men #91)
And for one panel, we were joined by the spirit of Bill Sienkiewicz. (X-Men #91)
Techno-organic cover #3! Yep, that’s Colossus’s arm from the last cover – we didn’t realize they connected until our listener Alex pointed it out on the blog! (X-Men Annual 1999)
This montage is way more efficient at describing continuity than our podcast. (X-Men Annual 1999)
Colonel Nicholas J. Fury, leading with guns and crotch. (X-Men Annual 1999)
Red Skull loves the Power Glove. It’s so bad. (X-Men Annual 1999)
Miles learned about the field of neurosurgery’s Thumbtack Technique back in college. (X-Men Annual 1999)
Go, Gadget, Go! (X-Men Annual 1999)
Yes, we know Douglock’s robo-suspenders started out as a miscoloring of his New Mutants uniform, but… they kinda work? (X-Men Annual 1999)
None of these new series will make it past a year. (X-Men Annual 1999)
NEXT TIME: Cecilia’s back!

456 – Until/Unless

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In which there’s nothing inherently wrong with monster-of-the-week; Marrow’s makeover extends to her font; Red Skull gets a Power Glove; Marvel sets up a slate of spinoffs; and you should hire Matt Hunter to produce your podcast!

X-PLAINED:

  • What Danger’s been up to lately
  • Uncanny X-Men #371
  • X-Men #91
  • X-Men Annual 1999
  • Crossover cover design
  • Skrullverine
  • Machine Man
  • Dethlok vs. Dethklok
  • Jack Truman (Agent 18) (to some extent)
  • A nice dress
  • An awkward reunion
  • Gambit as a mentor
  • Billy G.
  • A daring but silly rescue
  • Several upcoming series
  • Marrow’s bone bikini and/or pubes
  • Whether Rogue can absorb animals

NEXT EPISODE: Cecilia Reyes returns from retirement!

Want to hire J&MXPtXM producer Matt Hunter to produce your podcast? Email him!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 455 – Space, Geeks, and Galactus

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Where the streets have no [right angles in their fr]ame (X-Men #89)
“Hey, this gravestone’s taken! Get your own!” (X-Men #89)
Perhaps our very favorite Spider-Man. (X-Men #89)
Still more competent than the Great Lakes Avengers. (X-Men #89)
Kitty meets “Kitty”. (X-Men #89)
PICTURED: the computer lab Jay and Miles worked in back in college. (X-Men #89)
You’re all dead! And wear red! And from your employers you have fled! (X-Men #89)
Just a hell of a nice cover. (Uncanny X-Men #370)
I mean, Fake-Vision’s not wrong. (Uncanny X-Men #370)
“Over”-acting? I don’t understand what that phrase means. (Uncanny X-Men #370)
“As you know, Skrull-Bob…” (Uncanny X-Men #370)
That is an exceptionally Muppet-y Skrull. (Uncanny X-Men #370)
Superbeings to the left of me, space pirates to the right… (Uncanny X-Men #370)
Skrull-ternative medicine. (Uncanny X-Men #370)
Hey, those Skrulls are Muppet-y too! (X-Men #90)
In which Alan Davis draws everybody. (X-Men #90)
Okay, so Professor X’s plan doesn’t work, but… hell of a speech, Chuck. (X-Men #90)
“I said just a little off the top!” (X-Men #90)
Welp, here we go. (X-Men #90)
Who designed this thing?! (X-Men #90)
Well damn. (X-Men #90)
“You come around here often, reflection?” (X-Men #90)
NEXT TIME: Douglock’s back!

455 – Space, Geeks, and Galactus

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In which Roadhouse is basically a Wolverine story; Spider-Man does crimes; space names are derivative; there are lots of good reasons to yell at Professor Xavier; the X-Men do Doctor Who; Galactus is not interested in your puny human feelings; Marrow gets a new look; the Skrulls need a crash course in UI; and we overthink bones.

X-PLAINED:

  • The time the Skrulls did “A Piece of the Action”
  • The trouble with benevolent dictatorships
  • X-Men #89-90
  • Uncanny X-Men #370
  • A New York City that is not in fact New York City
  • “Spider-Man”
  • A ruse
  • Faces
  • Skrull problems
  • Mar-Vell
  • Adam Warlock
  • Sass vs. joviality
  • Skrull Cop City
  • Disguises
  • Nova (Frankie Raye)
  • How Galactus eats planets
  • Condiments
  • Several melees
  • Bone pubes
  • Skrull UI
  • Whether Moopsy could drink Wolverine’s bones
  • X-Musicals

NEXT EPISODE: The return of Douglock!

The Roald Dahl short story whose title Jay couldn’t recall is “Beware of the Dog.”

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 451 – Meanwhile in Another Dimension

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Spoiler: No. (Uncanny X-Men #368)
I need a black-and-white numbered legend for this panel. (Uncanny X-Men #368)
HAMMER PANTS (Uncanny X-Men #368)
And now, for something completely different. (Uncanny X-Men #368)
Specifically, this. (Uncanny X-Men #368)
Well, then. (X-Men #88)
“Good lord!” (X-Men #88)
The Trion. (X-Men #88)
Alan Davis’s Black Tom Cassidy is a looker. (X-Men #88)
Coooooool (X-Men #88)
Storm and Ororo. (Uncanny X-Men #369)
Tentacles from the tentacle dimension. (Uncanny X-Men #369)
THEY WENT IN THROUGH THE FACE (Uncanny X-Men #369)
The Trion, revisited. (Uncanny X-Men #369)
I fuckin’ love it when anyone carries Wolverine like this. (Uncanny X-Men #369)
Juggernaut vs. Jugger-not. (Uncanny X-Men #369)
Whoops. (Uncanny X-Men #369)
NEXT EPISODE: Magneto Rex!

 

451 – Meanwhile in Another Dimension

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In which we remain fascinated by Magneto’s robot butler; murder is Logan’s love language; the Juggernaut punches a hole in reality; Professor Xavier makes it weird; and Storm lectures several gods.

X-PLAINED:

  • Silly mutant powers
  • Uncanny X-Men #368-369
  • X-Men #88
  • Alan Davis’s X-Men run
  • Magneto’s robot butler
  • Joseph’s funeral
  • Nun-sense
  • A voyage to another dimension
  • Eyebrow power
  • Ejulp
  • The Trion
  • The other Gem of Cyttorak that’s like the first one but somehow worse
  • Several comas
  • Juggernaut vs. Juggernaut
  • Evil, kind of
  • Vacationing with X-Men characters
  • Illyana Rasputin and Rachel Summers

NEXT EPISODE: Magneto Rex

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 445 – Dick War

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This cover, man. (X-Men: The Magneto War #1)
Rogue’s dream bikini. (X-Men: The Magneto War #1)
His powers are just icky. (X-Men: The Magneto War #1)
Please enjoy Nightcrawler’s adorable pajamas. (X-Men: The Magneto War #1)
That’s… that’s not Trish Tilby. (Uncanny X-Men #366)
…what… (Uncanny X-Men #366)
Magneto knows from villainous lairs. (Uncanny X-Men #366)
Ferris is a cutie. (Uncanny X-Men #366)
NEXT EPISODE: Magneto wins.

LINKS & FURTHER ADVICE

 

445 – Dick War

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In which not every story needs to be an event; Alan Davis returns to the X-line; X-mansion security is not what it once was; Rogue needs some new fantasies; and Magneto wants a country.

X-PLAINED:

  • A poor governance decision
  • X-Men: The Magneto War #1
  • Uncanny X-Men #366
  • Astral demerits
  • A very dramatic dream
  • The yolk of oppression
  • Several Acolytes
  • Nightcrawler’s nightcap
  • Our standards for advertisers
  • Suburban Magneto
  • Ferris
  • Magnet problems
  • Forged DNA
  • Mutants from Georgia, Florida, and Indiana
  • Flying with Storm

NEXT EPISODE: Magneto wins.

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

RSVP to our birthday shenanigans!

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!