Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: Cannonball

46 – Shadows Over Cairo

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 3/8/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 3/8/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.

In which we bid a fond farewell to Bill Sienkiewicz; Secret Wars II continues to ruin everything; the New Mutants end up in an improbable number of gladiatorial arenas; Shadowcat’s secondary mutation is queer subtext; Magik gives no fucks about your crossover event; Warlock transcends storytelling conventions; and Karma rejoins the team.

X-PLAINED:

  • The chronologically inconsistent mobility of Professor Xavier
  • The Shadow King
  • New Mutants #29-34
  • Steve Leialoha
  • The Arena (more) (again)
  • Evil group projects
  • Easter eggs
  • Rachel Summers: butch fashion icon
  • Some major failures of positive size diversity in comics
  • Madripoor
  • Ashake
  • The incredible changing Guthries
  • The wickedest club in Cairo
  • Default X-teams
  • Cypher’s powers

NEXT WEEK: Miles and Elisabeth Allie X-Plain X-Men / Alpha Flight

No visual companion this week, because, reasons.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Support us on Patreon!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 42 – A Firestar Is Born

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Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 2/1/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends (but not in that order).
Context is irrelevant. (Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends)
“John, dude, can we talk about the fact that you just turned into a fucking bear? No? Okay.” Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends
“It means you’ll be hated and feared! Isn’t that wonderful?” (Firestar #1)
“Professor, is it true what they say about exposition in X-books?” (Firestar #1)
Wait ’til they find out she hasn’t even read Carlyle! (Firestar #1)
Oh. Angelica. Honey. No. (Firestar #1)
I’m pretty sure there’s a Talking Heads music video that starts exactly like this. (Firestar #1)
DON’T TRUST HER, ANGELICA! SHE’LL BLOW UP YOUR HORSE! (Firestar #1)
This horse’s name is Butter Rum. Don’t get too attached. (Firestar #2)
The Emma Frost who actually cares about her students did not make her first appearance until some years later. This Emma Frost is just an unapologetic monster. (Firestar #2)
Emma Frost is the best evil narrator. (Firestar #2)
“What could POSSIBLY go wrong?” (Firestar #2)
Miles ‘ships it SO hard. (Firestar #2)
That horror-movie WHINNEY! in the last panel, though. (Firestar #2)
Remember that time Emma Frost convinced a vulnerable teenage girl that she had killed her beloved horse by becoming sexually aroused? BECAUSE THAT DEFINITELY HAPPENED. (Firestar #2)
“What? This? Oh, no, I build killer robots of ALL my friends.” (Firestar #3)
AHAHAHA OH RANDALL YOU’RE SO DOOMED (Firestar #3)
Firestar X-Plains X-Men #193. (Firestar #3)
Seriously, I’m pretty sure Angelica’s dad being kind of a dick to her is the only thing that saves him from CERTAIN DOOM. (Firestar #3)
(He feels bad about it, though, so he still gets beaten up in the airport.) (Firestar #3)
Why does she throw her drink? We may never know. (Firestar #3)
And then she just straight-up breaks into “Stars” from Les Mis. (Firestar #4)
So sinister! (Firestar #4)
And that’s the end of Randall. (Firestar #4)
Fight scene, or breakin’ it down on the dance floor? YOU BE THE JUDGE! (Firestar #4)
For full effect, you have to imagine Firestar’s dialogue read by Alison Brie as Annie Edison. (Firestar #4)
Next Week: Secret Wars Why we drink.

42 – A Firestar Is Born

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 2/1/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 2/1/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.

In which Miles has a brush with nostalgia; Angelica Jones is secretly a Thomas Hardy protagonist; it doesn’t need to make sense if it’s awesome; and Emma Frost really needs a mustache to twirl.

X-Plained:

  • Trevor Fitzroy
  • Firestar (Angelica Jones)
  • Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends
  • Nostalgia
  • X-Men, if sometimes the main characters were bears
  • Inexplicably Australian Wolverine
  • Ms. Lion
  • Marvel Divas
  • Sudsy fun
  • Superhero sitcoms
  • Firestar #1-4
  • Basic palmistry
  • Generic mean girls
  • Coen Brothers YA
  • The reinvention of Emma Frost
  • Some epic gaslighting
  • Butter Rum
  • Mutivac
  • Miles’s favorite star-crossed ‘ship
  • Why Thunderbird I has stayed dead
  • Contextual definitions of “organic”

NEXT WEEK: Secret Wars

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Support us on Patreon!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 39 – Forever Alone Together

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Listen to the podcast here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and travel mugs available until 1/11/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
The Amazing Nightcrawler, drawn by The Amazing Sienkiewicz! (New Mutants #22)
Nightcrawler is a pretty awesome teacher; it’d have been cool to see more of him in this capacity. (New Mutants #22)
Aw, Rahne. (New Mutants #22)
Well, that escalated quickly. (New Mutants #22)
AW, RAHNE. (New Mutants #22)
The villains of Rahne’s fairy tale look awfully familiar. (New Mutants #22)
Back to those guys shortly. First: Cats! (Marvel Team-Up Annual #6)
Ohhhh, hey, it’s Cloak and Dagger! (Marvel Team-Up Annual #6)
Spider-Man spends a lot of this issue lurking around and providing exposition. (Marvel Team-Up Annual #6)
“I mean, dude, the title of the book is Marvel Team-Up, not Marvel Let’s Fight in a Church.” (Marvel Team-Up Annual #6)
“How did you guess you were on a butcher block? I mean, aside from that it’s a big square table and you’re in a slaughterhouse and everything probably smells like blood and… NOPE! DEFINTELY SUPERPOWERS AT WORK!” (Marvel Team-Up Annual #6)
What?! Dude, it’s not even addictive. That’s the stupidest evil plan ever. (Marvel Team-Up Annual #6)
This isn’t really relevant to the episode; it’s just hilarious. (Marvel Team-Up Annual #6)
NONE MORE GOTH (Marvel Team-Up Annual #6)
Wait, what? (Marvel Team-Up Annual #6)
‘Kay. (Marvel Team-Up Annual #6)
Spider-Man’s “Yeah.” in that last panel, though. (Marvel Team-Up Annual #6)
THAT COVER. (New Mutants #23)
“On Wednesdays, we dress glam.” (New Mutants #23)
Harry’s Hideaway is basically the Heartbreak Hotel of Salem Center, but like a million times less awesome. Still awesome, mind, but the Heartbreak Hotel sets a high bar. (New Mutants #23)
It’s really easy to forget that the X-Men are also kind of officially students? Maybe? Sometimes? (New Mutants #23)
At this point, New Mutants is basically the Sam and Dani Show, and we are 100% down with that. (New Mutants #23)
Aw, Rahne. (New Mutants #23)
WELL, THAT CAN’T BE GOOD. (New Mutants #23)
That is… an awfully Demon Bear-looking Sunspot on that cover. Not that we’re complaining, mind. (New Mutants #24)
Now you don’t need to read Marvel Team-Up Annual #6! You’re welcome! (New Mutants #24)
Indulge us in a momentary digression to make note of Magneto’s fancy hair. (New Mutants #24)
Like Rogue, we are firmly on Sam’s team on this one. (New Mutants #24)
Oops. (New Mutants #24)
We’re not sure whose fault they are, but we’re really, really into the way some combination of Claremont, Orzechowski, and Sienkiewicz uses captions and arrows in this book in general, and this spread in particular. (New Mutants #25)
GIANT BLUE XAVIER HEAD! (With some paradoxically good advice, but still. GIANT BLUE XAVIER HEAD!) (New Mutants #25)
‘Kay. (New Mutants #25)
I really want them to just yell “NONE MORE GOTH” every time they teleport away. (New Mutants #25)
Illyana may be sleepy, but she’s not wrong. (New Mutants #25)
NONE MORE GOTH! (New Mutants #25)
NEXT WEEK: We talk to G. Willow Wilson! She talks to us! ALSO: X-MEN!

Links and Further Reading:

  • Information and links to donate toward Bill Mantlo’s ongoing care
    (You can also send physical donations–and cards and letters–addressed as follows:
    Mike Mantlo
    26364 East Pintail Road
    Long Neck, DE 19966
    Please make out any checks to “Michael Mantlo” — Bill’s legal guardian.)
  • The Hero Initiative
  • Waiting for the T is absolutely delightful, and if you’re not already reading it, we acutely envy you the experience of going back through the archives for the first time.
    • (Specifically apropos of the Maximoffs: 1, 2)

39 – Forever Alone Together

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and travel mugs available until 1/11/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and travel mugs available until 1/11/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.

In which Miles and his Doom voice return triumphant; we reach an understanding regarding Lila Cheney; Mob science is pretty shoddy; Magneto has fancy hair; New Mutants Xavier is Best Xavier; no one is more goth than Cloak and Dagger; and you can have Rachel’s Speed Racer references when you pry them from her cold, dead hands.

X-Plained:

  • Spider-Man crossovers
  • Cats
  • Marvel Team-Up Annual #6
  • New Mutants #22-25
  • Phone calls with bears
  • Glam day at the Hellfire Club
  • Rahne’s fairytale
  • Cloak & Dagger
  • Drugs
  • Eldritch curtains
  • A seriously flawed evil plan
  • Harry’s Hideaway
  • The Sam and Dani Show
  • Magneto’s hair
  • Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch’s parentage
  • Waiting for the T
  • Whether Cloak and Dagger are mutants
  • How to buy original art

NEXT WEEK: G. Willow Wilson!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Support us on Patreon!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 36 – Steal This Podcast

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Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints available in the shop until 12/28, or contact David for the original!
We would really like this cover as a wall-size mural in hour home. ( #1)
Look, dude, you don’t have to like the music, but show some respect. ( #1)
OH HELL YES ( #1)
Lila Motherfuckin’ Cheney. ( #1)
Sam Guthrie is not only the politest minion, he’s the politest superhero. ( #1)
Teleportation by rockin’ guitar solo? YES, PLEASE. ( #1)
Let’s just go ahead and add Larry Niven references to the drinking game, shall we? ( #1)
Warlock takes cosplay really seriously. ( #1)
We’re not entirely sure how Lila Cheney is not a supervillain, but we’ll run with it. ( #1)
AW ( #1)
Remember Kitty’s Fairy Tale? Welcome to Illyana’s Space Opera! ( #8)
It’s s’mores-and-thinly-veiled-allegories night at the X-mansion! ( #8)
That’s a pretty sweet title page, there. ( #8)
Can we talk about Nightcrawler’s amazing disco pirate outfit? ( #8)
Montage! ( #8)
You know what to do. ( #8)
In case there was any doubt that Illyana is basically just mashing up every piece of pop culture she’s encountered… ( #8)
DRAGON SEX. ( #8)
Well, that got weird fast. ( #8)
Some long-awaited resolution. ( #8)
NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE ( #8)
Not actually episode-relevant, but we’re gonna take a moment to indulge Rachel’s lettering-geek need to drool over this gorgeous credits bar. ( #8)
Next Week: Giant-Size Special #1–and, at long last, God Loves, Man Kills!

Links:

36 – Steal This Podcast

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Lila Cheney Wembley 84
Art by David Wynne. Prints available in the shop until 12/28, or contact David for the original!

In which we play Six Degrees of Lila Cheney; Cannonball gets a makeover; Earth does not in fact blow up; the X-Men like their s’mores with thinly veiled allegories; and Magik dabbles in erotic friend fiction.

X-Plained:

  • Strong Guy
  • Annuals
  • New Mutants Annual #1 (Steal This Planet)
  • Lila Cheney
  • Both versions of Cats Laughing
  • The Vrakanain
  • Chris Claremont Book Club
  • Uncanny X-Men Annual #8 (The Adventures of Lockheed the Space Dragon and His Pet Girl Kitty)
  • Some dubious campfire games
  • Illyana’s Space Opera
  • Space pirate X-Men
  • Some long-awaited resolution

NEXT WEEK: Rachel and Miles’s Giant-Size Special #1, featuring God Loves, Man Kills!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Support us on Patreon!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

 

As Mentioned in Episode 34 – Mordenkainen’s Marvelous Mutants

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Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints available here through Sunday, December 14!
Remember when missing twin towers always signified a horrible post-apocalyptic future? (Uncanny X-Men #189)
Rachel Summers, in her Hound uniform. (Uncanny X-Men #189)
Kids, if a necklace you find in a fish talks to you, DON’T LISTEN. (Uncanny X-Men #189)
Oh. You, again. (Uncanny X-Men #189)
Moments when the Hellfire Club and the X-Men just really want to not talk about this and go back to whatever they were doing are pretty much the best X-Men/Hellfire Club moments. (Uncanny X-Men #189)
Lookit all those temporal references! (Uncanny X-Men #189)
Imagining Kid Miles diving into X-Men with this issue: never not funny. (Uncanny X-Men #190)
Well, then. (Uncanny X-Men #190)
But.. isn’t that basically what Vision normally wears? (Uncanny X-Men #190)
Callisto: Pure awesome in any universe. (Uncanny X-Men #190)
What. (Uncanny X-Men #190)
CAPTAIN AMERICA WE LOVE YOU (Uncanny X-Men #190)
This fucking recap page. (Uncanny X-Men #191)
Warlock-o-Vision! (Uncanny X-Men #191)
Remember that time Spider-Man got actually literally crucified in a CCA-approved comic? Because that definitely happened. (Uncanny X-Men #191)
Warlock is not only the best friendly space teenager, but also the best jetpack. (Uncanny X-Men #191)
Oh. That guy. (Uncanny X-Men #191)
LOOK AT THIS ANGRY SPACE ROBOT AND HIS AMAZING TECHNOORGANIC BEARD (Uncanny X-Men #192)
In which the X-Men absolutely fail at hide-and-seek in just about every possible way. (Uncanny X-Men #192)
Not only is Illyana a badass demon sorceress and teleporter, but her taste in movies is impeccable. (Uncanny X-Men #192)
HERE HAVE SOME MORE TECHNOORGANIC SPACE BEARD (Uncanny X-Men #192)
Rogue goes Technarch, is adorable. (Uncanny X-Men #192)
SPAAAAAAAAACE BEEEEEEEEEEEEEARD (Uncanny X-Men #192)
He’s such a parent. (Uncanny X-Men #192)
Don’t worry. Later, the Morlocks find him, fix him up, and dress him in elaborate bondage gear. (Uncanny X-Men #192)
MERRY CHRISTMAS, X-MEN! (Uncanny X-Men #192)
Next week: Welcome to the Heartbreak Hotel.

Links and Further Reading:

  • In Episode 34, we answered a question from a listener looking for textual evidence that Nightcrawler isn’t homophobic (we pointed them to Amazing X-Men #13). Rachel also discussed that question from a different angle–and at considerably more length–on the blog.
  • Diana: Warrior Princess is both an incredibly fun game setting and a brilliant piece of cultural satire.
  • We are big fans of both the Gamers movies and the humans responsible for them.
  • Rachel and Elle talk a lot of shit about Hank Pym in Episode 4 of Into It.

34 – Mordenkainen’s Marvelous Mutants

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Warlock The Barbarian
Art by David Wynne. Prints available here through Sunday, December 14!

In which we venture forth into an age undreamed of, there are so many reasons to have Northstar on your team, Selene is the worst guest, Rachel X-Plains Conan, Cyttorak is the Mordenkainen of the Marvel Universe, Miles loves Doctor Strange, we have some fairly serious Captain America feelings, the X-Men completely fail at hide-and-seek, and we make more D&D references in one episode than in the previous 34 combined.

X-Plained

  • Northstar
  • Beard privilege
  • X-Men 189-192
  • Anachronistic timeline markers
  • Hounds
  • The Culture Shock Class
  • An Age Undreamed of
  • Conan disambiguation
  • Red Sonja vs. Red Sonya
  • Kulan Gath
  • Marvel Team-Up #79
  • Barbarian Avengers
  • Why we love Captain America
  • Several haircuts
  • WiFi sorcery
  • A really good inspirational speech
  • The inevitable cephalopod revolution
  • Why Hank Pym is the absolute worst
  • Claudication
  • Hide-and-seek
  • How Rachel Summers actually traveled back in time
  • Magus
  • Warlock, Adam Warlock, and their respective Magi
  • Politics, religion, and Nightcrawler

Edited to Add: In this episode, we answered a question from a listener looking for textual evidence that Nightcrawler isn’t homophobic (we pointed them to Amazing X-Men #13). We also discussed that question from a different angle–and at considerably more length–on the blog.

Next Week: Dazzler: The Movie!

You can find a visual companion to the episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Support us on Patreon!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

Shirt of the Month – December 2014

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A few days ago, our Patreon supporters unlocked t-shirts of the month, and it is our very great pleasure to introduce the first of those, in which designer Dylan Todd pays homage to one of our very favorite Claremont catchphrases!

As the name implies, this is a LIMITED RUN: T-shirts (including kids’ and infant sizes!) will be up in the shop through January 5, 2014 (after this, switches’ll happen on the first of any given month, but we’re posting this one a little late, so), then DISAPPEAR FROM THE SHOP FOREVER. (Stickers may persist, depending on interest. We’ll see.)

Cannonball_L_cropped

Screen Shot 2014-12-05 at 9.21.08 AM

 

T-shirts of the month are made possible by the support of our Patreon subscribers. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!