Cannonball – Page 10 – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

189 – How Do You Solve a Problem Like Nate Summers?

March 21, 2018 Jay 45 comments

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In which Jay’s mom broke the Internet; correct credits are important; everyone has a Danger Room; no one needs that many teeth; there are so many reasons to laugh at Stryfe; the Watcher is probably affiliated with Pepperidge Farm; Boom Boom is the Rogue of X-Force; and Cable’s pouches are definitely full of menstrual products.

X-PLAINED:

The Franklin Richards of Earth X
The One True Cable
X-Force #5-7
Pocket-Size Juggernaut
A novel approach to trauma surgery
A moment of intersectionality
Teeth of the early ’90s
Soft pink bags of rice-paper flesh
A villain speech
X-Force’s bathtub
Several Shel Silverstein poems that may or may not be about superheroes
Cooking with Boom Boom
Why the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants keeps the “Evil” in their name
Thornn (Lucia Callasantos)
Phantazia
Writers vs. Scripters
Sex Ed at the Xavier School
The Worst Twitter Thread

NEXT EPISODE: BLOODLUST! (But not inquiry.)

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 181 – Badgers Everywhere

January 21, 2018 Jay 4 comments

Listen to the podcast here!

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

What you see is pretty much what you get. (X-Force #1)

Welcome to X-Force! Hope you like leaping! (X-Force #1)

The most amazing thing about this page is the idea that an actual body is supposed to be in that armor. (X-Force #1)

Aw, that’s a noble sentiment! Hope you can keep it up! (X-Force #1)

Two whole pages later.(X-Force #1)

Is there an adult lubricant called Bodyslide? If not, there probably should be. (X-Force #1)

Boom Boom, never change. (X-Force #1)

Guys, that’s not how… ah, never mind. Have fun. (X-Force #1)

G.W. Bridge leverages S.H.I.E.L.D.’s significant spy network to keep a running tally of who has been naughty and who has been nice. (X-Force #1)

Lies? Continuity error? Retcons? WHO EVEN KNOWS ANYMORE? (X-Force #1)

THIS DELIGHTFUL SCAMP! (X-Force #1)

I spent hours combing through and comparing Shatterstar’s use of numbers in this arc. If you are expecting a useful revelation to follow that, you’re out of luck. (X-Force #2)

“No, two BLADES, not two… oh, never mind.” (X-Force #2)

Not pictured: Probably a really enthusiastic hug where Juggernaut picked up Black Tom and spun him around a bunch. (X-Force #2)

Siryn’s costume is actually pretty rad. (X-Force #3)

This commute is the worst. (X-Force #3)

What. (X-Force #3)

Cable, what are you even wearing? (X-Force #3)

That word balloon, though. (Spider-Man #16)

LOOK AT THAT FACE IT IS SO EXCELLENT (Spider-Man #16)

Dispatches from a more innocent time. (Spider-Man #16)

Cannonball is the best, but the faces in this issue are generally just incredibly good. (Spider-Man #16)

Did Todd McFarlane ever draw Judge Dredd? God, I hope so. (Spider-Man #16)

I’m honestly not sure what graphic enucleation would have added to this page; but you do you, I guess? (Spider-Man #16)

PLEASE STOP TRYING TO MAKE “SHATTY” HAPPEN. Please. (X-Force #4)

Remember when they only killed in self-defense, LIKE TWO ISSUES AGO? (X-Force #4)

MAYBE BECAUSE OTHERWISE YOU DROP THEM DOWN ELEVATOR SHAFTS (X-Force #4)

Somewhere, there’s a universe where Mignola drew a bunch of X-Force, and the ’90s were a very different time. (X-Force #4)

NEXT EPISODE: The not even remotely triumphant return of Technet!

LINKS & FURTHER READING

The concerns expressed in Tom Lehrer’s “MLF Lullaby” don’t age wildly well, but it’s still a catchy song.
Mr. Burns, A Post-Electric Play is definitely a thing on Earth-4935, only instead of a Simpsons episode, it’s the Pizza Hut X-Men comic where Cyclops doesn’t think it’s cool to have an adventure in Cyberspace.

181 – Badgers Everywhere

January 21, 2018 Jay 35 comments

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In which X-Force is the cotton candy of comics; Jay & Miles overanalyze; eye spots are not the new domino masks; Feral is all about some murder; Black Tom and Juggernaut remain a delightful criminal power couple; Siryn’s costume is on point; over the edge is where we live; Jay gets briefly and intensely into Todd McFarlane; nothing will convince us that Fabian Nicieza did not know exactly what he was doing; and Kelly Thompson is a national treasure.

X-PLAINED:

Rumekistan
X-Force #1-4
Spider-Man #16
Leaping, both literal and metaphorical
Cannonball
Boom Boom
Cable
Domino
Warpath
Feral
Shatterstar
Siryn (Theresa Cassidy) (again)
MLF
The second and third-best-selling issues of all time
The Profit$
A very violent catchphrase
Chalet Shwartzkopf
Power Poses™ with Gideon™
The All-New, All-Different Weapon X (Garrison Kane)
6-Pack
Good vs. Awesome
George Washington Bridge
A moment so dramatic that it produces a second Shatterstar in a single panel
Some sports stuff, kind of
Uncomfortable anachronism
The stylistic necessity of healing factors
Marvel Unlimited view options
Rogue and Gambit

NEXT EPISODE: The not remotely triumphant return of Technet!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 166 – Proteus Has Two Mommies

October 1, 2017 Jay 7 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

“We don’t need no conservation of mass!” (New Mutants Annual #7)

Harness and Piecemeal. It only gets creepier from here. (New Mutants Annual #7)

This is definitely the last thing you see before you die. (New Mutants Annual #7)

Spoiler: Nope. (New Mutants Annual #7)

99% sure these dudes do not actually know how to play chess. (New Mutants Annual #7)

How great would it have been if Cable had made a Gulliver’s Travels joke? So great. (New Mutants Annual #7)

“Attack them with all your sound effects!” (New Mutants Annual #7)

Spoiler: They do, and it’s not. (New Mutants Annual #7)

OH, THANK GOD. (New Warriors Annual #1)

Piecemeal’s shirt is a little on-the-nose. (New Warriors Annual #1)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WdJg6Duzzf4 (New Warriors Annual #1)

Namorita is great. (New Warriors Annual #1)

Oh, dear me. (New Warriors Annual #1)

I really like all the character-intro pages in this crossover. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #15)

Mother of the year, y’all. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #15)

You’re never too evil or too sexy for some good, old-fashioned filicide! (Uncanny X-Men Annual #15)

You sure are, James. You sure are. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #15)

Inappropriate, Bobby. (X-Factor Annual #6)

None of my math textbooks were ever this psychedelic. (X-Factor Annual #6)

I briefly considered making this visual companion nothing but character-intro pages. (X-Factor Annual #6)

“Kings of Pain? Oh, yeah, isn’t that the crossover where Cyclops encourages a disturbed youth to commit suicide?” (X-Factor Annual #6)

(Nah, actually, he’s comparatively ethical about it; especially considering that the kid is technically already dead and has been for years.) (X-Factor Annual #6)

Okay, then. (X-Factor Annual #6)

NEXT EPISODE: Summers family bullshit on the moon!

LINKS & FURTHER READING

Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men LIVE at New York Comic Con, with special guests Chris Claremont and Louise Simonson!
TEDxHarvardCollege
We met all-around rad dude Taki in Episode 106 – The X-Terminators!
We talked about Proteus in Episode 10 – Not All Mandroids!

166 – Proteus Has Two Mommies

October 1, 2017 Jay 69 comments

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In which we finally announce our NYCC panel lineup; Boom Boom is the Gina Linetti of X-Force; we don’t actually know very much about the New Warriors; Cable grows as a person; Cyclops makes an ethically dubious call; Warren Kenneth Worthington III is a jerk; Jay gets very angry at a fictional character; no one gets a happy ending and the skeleton was inside you all along.

X-PLAINED:

Penance (but not that Penance)
Our actual, for-real NYCC panel details
“Kings of Pain”
New Mutants Annual #7
New Warriors Annual #1
Uncanny X-Men Annual #15
X-Factor Annual #6
The Alliance of Evil
Harness
Piecemeal
Genetech
IDIC
Symbolic chess
The New Warriors
The Clean Plate Club from Hell
The Pec Twins
ReBoot
A really screwed up debate
Magneto vs. Human Nature
Privilege and Callouts

NEXT WEEK: Summers Family Bullshit on the Moon!

COME SEE US LIVE AT NEW YORK COMIC CON, WITH SPECIAL GUESTS CHRIS CLAREMONT AND LOUISE SIMONSON!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 159 – Childhood’s End

August 13, 2017 Jay 14 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

The face of an almost-ten-year-old Miles with no idea what’s on the horizon.

New Mutants #98

That smirk, though. (New Mutants #98)

The weirdly protracted death of Emmanuel da Costa. (New Mutants #98)

Yeah, there’s no way this dude’s coming back. (New Mutants #98)

Somewhere, Dean Pelton is having feelings. (New Mutants #98)

One of many, many homages to the cover of X-Men #138. (New Mutants #99)

LIEFELD KICK! (New Mutants #99)

“I’ve been busy TRAINING MY HAIR TO SWIRL DRAMATICALLY ON CUE.” (New Mutants #99)

New Mutants: the ballet! (New Mutants #99)

Cable, that’s really not how pants–you know what? Never mind. (New Mutants #99)

This goddamn panel. (New Mutants #99)

Oh, man. Right in the feels. (New Mutants #99)

Just spitballing here, but is it maybe because… it’s the final issue? (New Mutants #99)

The end of an era. (New Mutants #100)

You’re not wrong, Cable. (New Mutants #100)

You know you wanna cosplay it. (New Mutants #100)

Feral’s a fun kid, isn’t she? (New Mutants #100)

On one hand: this is a mess. On the other hand: it’s also pretty awesome. The Liefeld conundrum. (New Mutants #100)

That’s not how swords… I mean… damnit. (New Mutants #100)

CABLE, YOU PUT THOSE EXTRA TEETH RIGHT BACK WHERE YOU FOUND THEM. (New Mutants #100)

Okay, that’s a really fun last page. (New Mutants #100)

Next Episode: Beast has a sexistential crisis!

LINKS & FURTHER READING

Come see Jay at FlameCon this weekend!

159 – Childhood’s End

August 13, 2017 Jay 34 comments

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***NOTE: We’re aware of the audio issues in this episode. We’re still troubleshooting our cross-country setup. Thank you for your patience!***

In which Stryfe is the Jan Brady of the Summers family; Miles’s dreams are trampled beneath tiny, delicate feet; Rictor goes on an unnecessary rescue mission; Cable is Washington to Cannonball’s Hamilton; the New Mutants may or may not time travel; Boom Boom scarfs up some chow for the bohunk; you should definitely not mess with Feral’s pigeons; Liefeld fights are pure rule-of-cool; Jay is absolutely not qualified to give legal advice; and we bid a bittersweet goodbye to New Mutants.

X-PLAINED:

Zero
Production transitions
The end of New Mutants
New Mutants #98-100
Plotting vs. scripting
The most valuable issue of New Mutants
Gideon
Liefeld butts (more) (again)
The very dramatic death of Emmanuel da Costa
Tolliver
Some Spider-Man looking jerk
Domino (Neena Thurman)
A specific and likely inaccurate timeline
Feral (Maria Callasantos)
The signature Liefeld Kick™
The Tavern on the Green
Five or six kinds of mutants
A sad goodbye
Shatterstar (Gaveedra Seven)
Cadre Alliance
Nesting habits of the urban bohunk
Some rad moves
A prologue that is also an epilogue
The Stryfe that might have been
How Logan fits into the X-Men movie timeline
X-Men mostly likely to watch Yuri!!! On Ice
Jay at FlameCon!!

NEXT EPISODE: Beast has a sexistential crisis!

You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 158 – No Focus, Less Direction

August 6, 2017 Jay 4 comments

Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

“Oh, like THAT’s a big deal or something.” (Uncanny X-Men #273)

That’s a lot of X-Men. (Uncanny X-Men #273)

Bobby, you incorrigible scamp! Way to EXPLODE THE PIPES IN THE SOLE BATHROOM SHARED BY EIGHTEEN PEOPLE. (Uncanny X-Men #273)

The original creative teams will be played by Storm in this panel. (Uncanny X-Men #273)

Awk-ward. (Uncanny X-Men #273)

Telekinetics don’t need shower curtains. (Uncanny X-Men #273)

We unironically adore this ridiculous pair of panels. (Uncanny X-Men #273)

This is a lot creepier if you remember that the Shadow King took over Jean permanently in one of the earths Excalibur visited… (Uncanny X-Men #273)

Meanwhile, in the sexy, sexy Savage Land… (Uncanny X-Men #274)

Between the art and the cascade of dramatic Magneto captions, this splash kinda encapsulates the whole arc. (Uncanny X-Men #274)

Whoa. (Uncanny X-Men #274)

To be fair, that was always a really iffy battle tactic. (Uncanny X-Men #274)

“Also, am I imagining the sudden switch to romance comic framing?” (Uncanny X-Men #274)

No one gets dressed more dramatically than Magneto. (Uncanny X-Men #274)

Zaladane: boring as hell, but damn does she know how to dress! (Uncanny X-Men #274)

That’s prudent, I suppose, for a certain value of the term. (Uncanny X-Men #274)

Please note that:
A) Ka-Zar is calling Rogue “Red” despite the fact that her hair is clearly brown.
B) A mostly-naked man and his tiger buddy are clearly not REMOTELY the weirdest things those S.H.I.E.L.D. troops have shared a transport with.
(Uncanny X-Men #275)

It sure is 1991. (Uncanny X-Men #275)

Every goddamn time. (Uncanny X-Men #275)

Where’s an editorial footnote when you actually need one? (Oh, fine, I’ll do it: See Classic X-Men #12 and #19, respectively! -Jaded Jay) (Uncanny X-Men #275)

Well, that’s convenient timing! (Uncanny X-Men #275)

Murder is negotiable, but frontal nudity? NEVER. (Uncanny X-Men #275)

NEXT WEEK: The end of New Mutants!

LINKS & FURTHER LISTENING

The Lightning and the Storm (Miles & Elisabeth’s now-complete Thor podcast)
Jay’s Instagram

158 – No Focus, Less Direction

August 6, 2017 Jay 36 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

In which we return triumphant from hiatus; it’s still always Inferno in here; no one should ever under any circumstances date Cameron Hodge; Kenneth is a fundamentally hilarious name; Magneto’s family gets retconned to death; Pterosaurs are still the absolute worst; and Magik totally deserves a sidekick.

X-PLAINED:

Ka-Zar’s real name
Shanna the She-Devil
Our new production set-up
What we did on our summer vacations
Previously on X-Men
Further limits of the mutant metaphor
Uncanny X-Men #273-275
A crisis of leadership
A comic that is a metaphor that is also a comic
Cable’s OkCupid profile
Changing creative dynamics on the X-line
Archangel’s middle name
Gambit vs. Wolverine
Censorship Steam
The protean X-bathroom
Magneto’s retconned family
Colonel Semyanov
A perhaps ill-conceived team-up
The Self-Styled Mistress of Magnetism
Some remarkably lucky timing
The semantics of heel turns
Gender and sidekicks
Mr. Sinister’s powers

NEXT EPISODE: The end of New Mutants!

You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)