Cannonball – Page 10 – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

199 – Space, Geeks, and Gaveedra Seven

May 27, 2018 Jay 35 comments

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Shattershot is definitely better than the Cold War; Beast X-plains the X-teams; Cyclops is a tired babysitter; sustenance is not frivolous; Jim Henson is the hero that Mojoworld needs; Shatterstar is not a great head of state; it’s hard to be Val Cooper; and Cable has definitely figured out how to take you (yes, YOU) out.

X-PLAINED:

Astra
Content-to-story ratio
The Mojoverse (more) (again)
Longshot
Shatterstar (Gaveedra Seven)
Spiral (Ricochet Rita)
Arize
X-Men Annual #1
Uncanny X-Men Annual #16
X-Factor Annual #10
X-Force Annual #1
A pivotal battle
Mujahideen
A callback
Several denizens of Mojoworld
X-Team disambiguation
The Death Sponsors
A dubious solution to the Kobayashi Maru scenario
Whether Arize is a mutant
Telepathic favoritism
Spiral’s origin story
A new regime
Earth-84309
Powerpax (Frankie Power)
Darkchild
Cyberlock
A metasingularity
A large number of back-up features
The X-Men’s top ten enemies
Amalgam (but not that one)
Darick Robertson’s juvenilia
The return of Taki
The Cable Protocols
Brazilian Marvel characters
Our feelings about Laura Kinney’s backstory

NEXT EPISODE: Louise Simonson

CORRECTION: BonziBuddy was not released until 1999. We regret the error.

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 195 – Johnny Got His Robot Arm

April 29, 2018 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the podcast here!

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

LOOK AT ALL THOSE POUCHES. (X-Force #8)

And now for something completely different. (X-Force #8)

Fun fact: You can drop this dialogue into almost any panel involving Cable and at least one other character, and it’ll still work. (X-Force #8)

On one hand: Mignola is great. On the other hand: I have some questions about the decision to just straight-up draw Garrison Kane as Marlon Brando. (X-Force #8)

Aw, A.I.M., you wacky kids. (X-Force #8)

Cable’s sense of drama is ON POINT. (X-Force #8)

Domino is pretty genre-aware. (X-Force #9)

Not gonna lie: I dig Liefeld’s take on Blob. (X-Force #9)

If you weren’t imagining Feral’s line in the voice of a 10-year-old Danny Tamberelli, congratulations: you are now. (X-Force #9)

‘Kay. (X-Force #9)

And that, kids, is why balloon placements matter. (I mean, there are a lot of other reasons, too. But this is one of them.) (X-Force #9)

Stryfe’s armor doesn’t just have nipples. Stryfe’s armor has FOUR nipples. (X-Force #10)

Nothing is okay about this picture. (X-Force #10)

Speaking of likenesses, remember the time Cannonball was David Bowie? (X-Force #10)

NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur vs. the Anti-Phoenix!

LINKS & FURTHER READING

Shing Yin Khor’s A.I.M. comics are delightful.
Jay’s Bela Lugosi is but a pale imitation of the real deal.

195 – Johnny Got His Robot Arm

April 29, 2018 Jay 23 comments

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In which Jay may have Stockholm syndrome; Nick Fury is objectively sillier than G. W. Bridge; we get a brief artistic reprieve; Cable’s legal expertise does not extend to trademarks; our favorite Ship returns; Miles’s grandmother calls it like it is; Sauron is bad at taxonomy; and Garrison Kane is basically a very violent Inspector Gadget.

X-PLAINED:

Brother Mutant
X-Force #8-10
X-Force (again)
A protracted flashback
The Wild and/or Six Pack
A heist
A trap
Yet more Ed Wood references
A future
The Professor (Ship)
Gratuitous face shadows
A mystery
Cable casting
Several misplaced word balloons
The logistics of tentacle arms
The High Lords (Externals)
Michael Bay’s Johnny Got His Gun
General Clark and his diving suit
Good Magneto stories
How to get your dad into X-Men

NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur vs. the Anti-Phoenix!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 189 – How Do You Solve a Problem Like Nate Summers?

March 21, 2018 Jay 2 comments

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A day in the life of a never-nude pterosaur. (X-Force #5)

That’s a lot of teeth, Toad. (X-Force #5)

Somewhere, Bruce Banner has just felt a great disturbance in the force. (X-Force #5)

I keep changing my mind about my favorite part of this page. Right now, it’s Zero mugging facelessly at the reader. (X-Force #6)

Seriously, why does the Brotherhood have so many teeth? Are they EVIL TEETH? (X-Force #6)

Genuinely unsure whether Toad is supposed to have two or three rows of teeth in this one. (X-Force #6)

That’s a lot of bathtub. (X-Force #6)

My bad–on second look, they are not actually making PB&Js. (X-Force #6)

If I have to keep seeing these teeth, so do you. (X-Force #7)

t e e e e e e e e e e e e t h (X-Force #7)

Feral vs. Thornn. (X-Force #7)

It’s okay. He’ll be back. And possibly immortal? It’s complicated. (X-Force #7)

NEXT EPISODE: BLOODLUST!

LINKS & FURTHER READING:

189 – How Do You Solve a Problem Like Nate Summers?

March 21, 2018 Jay 45 comments

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In which Jay’s mom broke the Internet; correct credits are important; everyone has a Danger Room; no one needs that many teeth; there are so many reasons to laugh at Stryfe; the Watcher is probably affiliated with Pepperidge Farm; Boom Boom is the Rogue of X-Force; and Cable’s pouches are definitely full of menstrual products.

X-PLAINED:

The Franklin Richards of Earth X
The One True Cable
X-Force #5-7
Pocket-Size Juggernaut
A novel approach to trauma surgery
A moment of intersectionality
Teeth of the early ’90s
Soft pink bags of rice-paper flesh
A villain speech
X-Force’s bathtub
Several Shel Silverstein poems that may or may not be about superheroes
Cooking with Boom Boom
Why the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants keeps the “Evil” in their name
Thornn (Lucia Callasantos)
Phantazia
Writers vs. Scripters
Sex Ed at the Xavier School
The Worst Twitter Thread

NEXT EPISODE: BLOODLUST! (But not inquiry.)

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 181 – Badgers Everywhere

January 21, 2018 Jay 4 comments

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

What you see is pretty much what you get. (X-Force #1)

Welcome to X-Force! Hope you like leaping! (X-Force #1)

The most amazing thing about this page is the idea that an actual body is supposed to be in that armor. (X-Force #1)

Aw, that’s a noble sentiment! Hope you can keep it up! (X-Force #1)

Two whole pages later.(X-Force #1)

Is there an adult lubricant called Bodyslide? If not, there probably should be. (X-Force #1)

Boom Boom, never change. (X-Force #1)

Guys, that’s not how… ah, never mind. Have fun. (X-Force #1)

G.W. Bridge leverages S.H.I.E.L.D.’s significant spy network to keep a running tally of who has been naughty and who has been nice. (X-Force #1)

Lies? Continuity error? Retcons? WHO EVEN KNOWS ANYMORE? (X-Force #1)

THIS DELIGHTFUL SCAMP! (X-Force #1)

I spent hours combing through and comparing Shatterstar’s use of numbers in this arc. If you are expecting a useful revelation to follow that, you’re out of luck. (X-Force #2)

“No, two BLADES, not two… oh, never mind.” (X-Force #2)

Not pictured: Probably a really enthusiastic hug where Juggernaut picked up Black Tom and spun him around a bunch. (X-Force #2)

Siryn’s costume is actually pretty rad. (X-Force #3)

This commute is the worst. (X-Force #3)

What. (X-Force #3)

Cable, what are you even wearing? (X-Force #3)

That word balloon, though. (Spider-Man #16)

LOOK AT THAT FACE IT IS SO EXCELLENT (Spider-Man #16)

Dispatches from a more innocent time. (Spider-Man #16)

Cannonball is the best, but the faces in this issue are generally just incredibly good. (Spider-Man #16)

Did Todd McFarlane ever draw Judge Dredd? God, I hope so. (Spider-Man #16)

I’m honestly not sure what graphic enucleation would have added to this page; but you do you, I guess? (Spider-Man #16)

PLEASE STOP TRYING TO MAKE “SHATTY” HAPPEN. Please. (X-Force #4)

Remember when they only killed in self-defense, LIKE TWO ISSUES AGO? (X-Force #4)

MAYBE BECAUSE OTHERWISE YOU DROP THEM DOWN ELEVATOR SHAFTS (X-Force #4)

Somewhere, there’s a universe where Mignola drew a bunch of X-Force, and the ’90s were a very different time. (X-Force #4)

NEXT EPISODE: The not even remotely triumphant return of Technet!

LINKS & FURTHER READING

The concerns expressed in Tom Lehrer’s “MLF Lullaby” don’t age wildly well, but it’s still a catchy song.
Mr. Burns, A Post-Electric Play is definitely a thing on Earth-4935, only instead of a Simpsons episode, it’s the Pizza Hut X-Men comic where Cyclops doesn’t think it’s cool to have an adventure in Cyberspace.

181 – Badgers Everywhere

January 21, 2018 Jay 35 comments

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In which X-Force is the cotton candy of comics; Jay & Miles overanalyze; eye spots are not the new domino masks; Feral is all about some murder; Black Tom and Juggernaut remain a delightful criminal power couple; Siryn’s costume is on point; over the edge is where we live; Jay gets briefly and intensely into Todd McFarlane; nothing will convince us that Fabian Nicieza did not know exactly what he was doing; and Kelly Thompson is a national treasure.

X-PLAINED:

Rumekistan
X-Force #1-4
Spider-Man #16
Leaping, both literal and metaphorical
Cannonball
Boom Boom
Cable
Domino
Warpath
Feral
Shatterstar
Siryn (Theresa Cassidy) (again)
MLF
The second and third-best-selling issues of all time
The Profit$
A very violent catchphrase
Chalet Shwartzkopf
Power Poses™ with Gideon™
The All-New, All-Different Weapon X (Garrison Kane)
6-Pack
Good vs. Awesome
George Washington Bridge
A moment so dramatic that it produces a second Shatterstar in a single panel
Some sports stuff, kind of
Uncomfortable anachronism
The stylistic necessity of healing factors
Marvel Unlimited view options
Rogue and Gambit

NEXT EPISODE: The not remotely triumphant return of Technet!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 166 – Proteus Has Two Mommies

October 1, 2017 Jay 7 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

“We don’t need no conservation of mass!” (New Mutants Annual #7)

Harness and Piecemeal. It only gets creepier from here. (New Mutants Annual #7)

This is definitely the last thing you see before you die. (New Mutants Annual #7)

Spoiler: Nope. (New Mutants Annual #7)

99% sure these dudes do not actually know how to play chess. (New Mutants Annual #7)

How great would it have been if Cable had made a Gulliver’s Travels joke? So great. (New Mutants Annual #7)

“Attack them with all your sound effects!” (New Mutants Annual #7)

Spoiler: They do, and it’s not. (New Mutants Annual #7)

OH, THANK GOD. (New Warriors Annual #1)

Piecemeal’s shirt is a little on-the-nose. (New Warriors Annual #1)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WdJg6Duzzf4 (New Warriors Annual #1)

Namorita is great. (New Warriors Annual #1)

Oh, dear me. (New Warriors Annual #1)

I really like all the character-intro pages in this crossover. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #15)

Mother of the year, y’all. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #15)

You’re never too evil or too sexy for some good, old-fashioned filicide! (Uncanny X-Men Annual #15)

You sure are, James. You sure are. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #15)

Inappropriate, Bobby. (X-Factor Annual #6)

None of my math textbooks were ever this psychedelic. (X-Factor Annual #6)

I briefly considered making this visual companion nothing but character-intro pages. (X-Factor Annual #6)

“Kings of Pain? Oh, yeah, isn’t that the crossover where Cyclops encourages a disturbed youth to commit suicide?” (X-Factor Annual #6)

(Nah, actually, he’s comparatively ethical about it; especially considering that the kid is technically already dead and has been for years.) (X-Factor Annual #6)

Okay, then. (X-Factor Annual #6)

NEXT EPISODE: Summers family bullshit on the moon!

LINKS & FURTHER READING

Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men LIVE at New York Comic Con, with special guests Chris Claremont and Louise Simonson!
TEDxHarvardCollege
We met all-around rad dude Taki in Episode 106 – The X-Terminators!
We talked about Proteus in Episode 10 – Not All Mandroids!

166 – Proteus Has Two Mommies

October 1, 2017 Jay 69 comments

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In which we finally announce our NYCC panel lineup; Boom Boom is the Gina Linetti of X-Force; we don’t actually know very much about the New Warriors; Cable grows as a person; Cyclops makes an ethically dubious call; Warren Kenneth Worthington III is a jerk; Jay gets very angry at a fictional character; no one gets a happy ending and the skeleton was inside you all along.

X-PLAINED:

Penance (but not that Penance)
Our actual, for-real NYCC panel details
“Kings of Pain”
New Mutants Annual #7
New Warriors Annual #1
Uncanny X-Men Annual #15
X-Factor Annual #6
The Alliance of Evil
Harness
Piecemeal
Genetech
IDIC
Symbolic chess
The New Warriors
The Clean Plate Club from Hell
The Pec Twins
ReBoot
A really screwed up debate
Magneto vs. Human Nature
Privilege and Callouts

NEXT WEEK: Summers Family Bullshit on the Moon!

COME SEE US LIVE AT NEW YORK COMIC CON, WITH SPECIAL GUESTS CHRIS CLAREMONT AND LOUISE SIMONSON!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)