Cannonball – Page 10 – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 214 – Stryfe’s Burn Book

September 16, 2018 Jay 7 comments

Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Look at this gorgeous monstrosity. (Stryfe's Strike File)

This dude would not appear in the main Marvel Universe until about a decade after he was introduced here. (Stryfe's Strike File)

Mystique's worst kid, by a fairly wide margin. (Stryfe's Strike File)

Remember her; she'll be a big deal later. (Stryfe's Strike File)

Stryfe: The Worst Kid in Your Fandom. (Stryfe's Strike File)

SPOILER: This cover is profoundly misleading. (Uncanny X-Men #297)

WARREN KENNETH WORTHINGTON III, YOU DID WHAT?! (Uncanny X-Men #297)

A rare moment of candor from Professor X. (Uncanny X-Men #297)

The only part of this issue that I REALLY have trouble believing is that Jubilee was carying around a second pair of 'blades just for funsies. Those things are cumbersome as heck. (Uncanny X-Men #297)

DAMNIT, JUBILEE. THIS IS WHY NOBODY TRUSTS YOU. (Uncanny X-Men #297)

She's beauty, she's grace, she'll explode your face. (X-Force #19)

Bobby has had a pretty rough year. (X-Force #19)

Vanessa is not having a great time post-X-Force. (X-Force #19)

Those are actually... really snazzy team uniforms. Dang. (X-Force #19)

And that was the end of THAT particular metaphor. (X-Force #19)

NEXT EPISODE: Rich people are different from us.

LINKS & FURTHER CONVERSATIONS:

Check out the first Very Official Episode Transcript, over on the J&M wiki!
(Did you know we have a wiki? We have a wiki!)
If you want to get involved in the transcripts–or just hang out with rad folks–come join us on Discord! (Transcription organization happens in the Greymalkin channel.)
You can hear the WHAT?! supercut in Episode 52!

214 – Stryfe’s Burn Book

September 16, 2018 Jay 10 comments

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In which “wolves” proves a remarkably broad category in the 616; we at least nominally wrap up X-Cutioner’s Song; Stryfe could really use a style guide; we issue our first-ever music challenge; Jubilee is an agent of chaos; Gambit’s powers are a metaphor; Charles Xavier has a complicated relationship to disability; the quality of Jay’s penmanship is a matter of official record; Boom Boom is a remarkably good costume designer; Cannonball comes into his own as a leader; and every “WHAT?!” you hear on this show is fresh and original.

X-PLAINED:

Wolves, to a very limited extent
Jay & Miles (kinda) at NYCC
Transcripts
X-Cutioner’s Song
Stryfe’s Strike File
Uncanny X-Men #297
X-Force #19
A gentle bird caught in a swirling tornado of lust and desperation
Shades of me
Shades of you
Shades of them
Our first-ever music challenge
Some foreshadowing
Nostalgia
A very nice hug
The one good side effect of Stryfe’s technoorganic virus
Charles Xavier vs. disability politics
Several practical jokes in very poor taste
Teacher-student bonding
An excellent epithet
Some lettering choices
An extended Hail Caesar riff
The Clooney Scale
An enduring mystery
Clone powers
Exclamatory logistics

NEXT EPISODE: Hey, remember Excalibur?

MUSIC CHALLENGE: Write and record a song based on or using text from Stryfe’s Strike File (or any of his rants from X-Cutioner’s Song)! Send your masterpieces (or links to ’em) to xplainthexmen(at)gmail(dot)com, with the subject STRYFE SONG!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 205 – Back to Basics

July 15, 2018 Jay 5 comments

Listen to the podcast here!

Okay, but seriously, he could have gotten that cape anywhere. (X-Force #11)

Early Deadpool was just kind of a jerk. (X-Force #11)

In which Garrison Kane and all of his teeth are watching you poop. (X-Force #11)

The best thing about this is that Rictor's shirt changes color from green to read between issues, and I have decided that it is DEFINITELY Hypercolor(TM). (X-Force #11)

Somewhere, Flash Gordon is very confused and very naked. (X-Force #12)

Just posting this for Rictor's outfit, which really only gets more remarkable with every drawing. (X-Force #12)

If I were a better person, I might have pasted this together with the other half of the four-page spread... (X-Force #13)

I really like the way Shoemaker draws battle-damaged Cable. (X-Force #14)

And he would have gotten away with it, too, if it hadn't been for you meddling kids! (X-Force #15)

NEXT EPISODE: Fire, life, and backstory!

LINKS:

You can learn all about Garrison Kane in Episode 195 – Johnny Got His Robot Arm.
Should you find yourself in Brussels, Jay recommends Utopia for all your superhero comics needs.
Mitchell is a terrible movie but a very good episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000; which latter you can watch here.

205 – Back to Basics

July 15, 2018 Jay 17 comments

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In which Jay returns from Latveria; Sabretooth is significantly less menacing in French; Fabian Nicieza takes the reins; X-Force wins our hearts and minds; Gideon plunders Flash Gordon’s wardrobe; Crule does not actually rule; Rictor was right; Ship is the friend who helps you move, but better; the X-Force kids strike out on their own; and it’s probably impossible to explain Joseph too much.

X-PLAINED:

The secret origin of Gideon
How to get deported from Latveria
Marvel en français
X-Force #11-15
Some gratuitous posturing
Pico
What the actual Domino has been up to
One hell of an outfit
Peacock powers
Crule
A comical mix-up
A somewhat radical cosmology
A very dramatic strike force
Tygerstryke
X-Force post-Liefeld
Weapon P.R.I.M.E.
A four-page spread
A fight for one is a fight for all
Vance Astro
The death of Copycat
Things only Cable and Domino could do
Joseph (more) (again)
Marvel style and its evolution

NEXT EPISODE: Fire, life, and backstory!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 199 – Space, Geeks, and Gaveedra Seven

May 27, 2018 Jay 4 comments

Listen to the episode here.

It's weird, but it could be SO MUCH WEIRDER. (X-Men Annual #1)

These two really have their battle banter down to a science. (X-Men Annual #1)

Well, this is awkward in retrospect. (X-Men Annual #1)

Again: I want these characters to be SO MUCH WEIRDER. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #16)

Stop trying to make "bohunk" happen. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #16)

GOOD LORD JOE QUESADA DRAWS A TERRIFYING MOJO (Uncanny X-Men Annual #16)

This comic does not include a countdown of enemies, but if it did, #1 would definitely be condiments. (X-Factor Annual #7)

This actually explains a depressing lot about Mojoworld. (X-Factor Annual #7)

Spiral X-Plains Spiral, Part 1. (X-Factor Annual #7)

Spiral X-Plains Spiral, Part 2. (X-Factor Annual #7)

Okay, getting marginally weirder, but still not quite there. (X-Force Annual #1)

You can tell he's a big deal now because he wears his hair down. (X-Force Annual #1)

I just realized that the good Spineless Ones are named after Borscht Belt comedians. (X-Force Annual #1)

Behind every Facebook meme about positivity is this panel. (X-Force Annual #1)

Sunspot, but with a mullet! (X-Force Annual #1)

You'd think a guy who grew up on a media-saturated world would know better than to trust an administrator in a fancy hat. (X-Force Annual #1)

Kill your television. (X-Force Annual #1)

I feel really good about the fact that Longshot aged into Estelle Getty. (X-Force Annual #1)

Ignore these blueprints; they will never be followed consistently. (X-Men Annual #1)

Remember the good ol' days, when comics NEVER dabbled in politics or even direct allegory? *snort* (X-Men Annual #1)

"I can also cross over with DC properties, but that's not really gonna be on the table for a while." (Uncanny X-Men Annual #16)

Val Cooper's subconscious is an appropriately frightening place. (X-Factor Annual #7)

Taki! We missed you! (X-Force Annual #1)

We're only posting one of the many pin-ups; but DANG, it's a good one. (X-Force Annual #1)

LINKS & FURTHER READING:

For more background on Longshot and Mojoworld, listen to Episode 49 – Of Mullets and Miracles.
Get Bishop’s backstory in Episode 180 – Lawful Badass.
The Kobayashi Maru is a really fun book, if you like that kind of thing (which Jay does).
If you happen to end up in New York, the Jim Henson exhibit at the Museum of the Moving Image is AMAZING.
“Send the Marines” is Tom Lehrer’s tribute to American interventionism, and also a very catchy song.
Aside from this Onion article, I could find no information about the alleged Stretch Armstrong recall, so I suspect that story may in fact be apocryphal. -J

199 – Space, Geeks, and Gaveedra Seven

May 27, 2018 Jay 35 comments

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In which Shattershot is definitely better than the Cold War; Beast X-plains the X-teams; Cyclops is a tired babysitter; sustenance is not frivolous; Jim Henson is the hero that Mojoworld needs; Shatterstar is not a great head of state; it’s hard to be Val Cooper; and Cable has definitely figured out how to take you (yes, YOU) out.

X-PLAINED:

Astra
Content-to-story ratio
The Mojoverse (more) (again)
Longshot
Shatterstar (Gaveedra Seven)
Spiral (Ricochet Rita)
Arize
X-Men Annual #1
Uncanny X-Men Annual #16
X-Factor Annual #10
X-Force Annual #1
A pivotal battle
Mujahideen
A callback
Several denizens of Mojoworld
X-Team disambiguation
The Death Sponsors
A dubious solution to the Kobayashi Maru scenario
Whether Arize is a mutant
Telepathic favoritism
Spiral’s origin story
A new regime
Earth-84309
Powerpax (Frankie Power)
Darkchild
Cyberlock
A metasingularity
A large number of back-up features
The X-Men’s top ten enemies
Amalgam (but not that one)
Darick Robertson’s juvenilia
The return of Taki
The Cable Protocols
Brazilian Marvel characters
Our feelings about Laura Kinney’s backstory

NEXT EPISODE: Louise Simonson

CORRECTION: BonziBuddy was not released until 1999. We regret the error.

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 195 – Johnny Got His Robot Arm

April 29, 2018 Jay Leave a comment

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And now for something completely different. (X-Force #8)

Fun fact: You can drop this dialogue into almost any panel involving Cable and at least one other character, and it'll still work. (X-Force #8)

On one hand: Mignola is great. On the other hand: I have some questions about the decision to just straight-up draw Garrison Kane as Marlon Brando. (X-Force #8)

Aw, A.I.M., you wacky kids. (X-Force #8)

Cable's sense of drama is ON POINT. (X-Force #8)

Domino is pretty genre-aware. (X-Force #9)

Not gonna lie: I dig Liefeld's take on Blob. (X-Force #9)

If you weren't imagining Feral's line in the voice of a 10-year-old Danny Tamberelli, congratulations: you are now. (X-Force #9)

And that, kids, is why balloon placements matter. (I mean, there are a lot of other reasons, too. But this is one of them.) (X-Force #9)

Stryfe's armor doesn't just have nipples. Stryfe's armor has FOUR nipples. (X-Force #10)

Nothing is okay about this picture. (X-Force #10)

Speaking of likenesses, remember the time Cannonball was David Bowie? (X-Force #10)

NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur vs. the Anti-Phoenix!

LINKS & FURTHER READING

Shing Yin Khor’s A.I.M. comics are delightful.
Jay’s Bela Lugosi is but a pale imitation of the real deal.

195 – Johnny Got His Robot Arm

April 29, 2018 Jay 23 comments

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In which Jay may have Stockholm syndrome; Nick Fury is objectively sillier than G. W. Bridge; we get a brief artistic reprieve; Cable’s legal expertise does not extend to trademarks; our favorite Ship returns; Miles’s grandmother calls it like it is; Sauron is bad at taxonomy; and Garrison Kane is basically a very violent Inspector Gadget.

X-PLAINED:

Brother Mutant
X-Force #8-10
X-Force (again)
A protracted flashback
The Wild and/or Six Pack
A heist
A trap
Yet more Ed Wood references
A future
The Professor (Ship)
Gratuitous face shadows
A mystery
Cable casting
Several misplaced word balloons
The logistics of tentacle arms
The High Lords (Externals)
Michael Bay’s Johnny Got His Gun
General Clark and his diving suit
Good Magneto stories
How to get your dad into X-Men

NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur vs. the Anti-Phoenix!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 189 – How Do You Solve a Problem Like Nate Summers?

March 21, 2018 Jay 2 comments

Listen to the podcast here!

A day in the life of a never-nude pterosaur. (X-Force #5)

That's a lot of teeth, Toad. (X-Force #5)

Somewhere, Bruce Banner has just felt a great disturbance in the force. (X-Force #5)

I keep changing my mind about my favorite part of this page. Right now, it's Zero mugging facelessly at the reader. (X-Force #6)

Seriously, why does the Brotherhood have so many teeth? Are they EVIL TEETH? (X-Force #6)

Genuinely unsure whether Toad is supposed to have two or three rows of teeth in this one. (X-Force #6)

My bad--on second look, they are not actually making PB&Js. (X-Force #6)

If I have to keep seeing these teeth, so do you. (X-Force #7)

t e e e e e e e e e e e e t h (X-Force #7)

It's okay. He'll be back. And possibly immortal? It's complicated. (X-Force #7)

LINKS & FURTHER READING:

189 – How Do You Solve a Problem Like Nate Summers?

March 21, 2018 Jay 45 comments

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In which Jay’s mom broke the Internet; correct credits are important; everyone has a Danger Room; no one needs that many teeth; there are so many reasons to laugh at Stryfe; the Watcher is probably affiliated with Pepperidge Farm; Boom Boom is the Rogue of X-Force; and Cable’s pouches are definitely full of menstrual products.

X-PLAINED:

The Franklin Richards of Earth X
The One True Cable
X-Force #5-7
Pocket-Size Juggernaut
A novel approach to trauma surgery
A moment of intersectionality
Teeth of the early ’90s
Soft pink bags of rice-paper flesh
A villain speech
X-Force’s bathtub
Several Shel Silverstein poems that may or may not be about superheroes
Cooking with Boom Boom
Why the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants keeps the “Evil” in their name
Thornn (Lucia Callasantos)
Phantazia
Writers vs. Scripters
Sex Ed at the Xavier School
The Worst Twitter Thread

NEXT EPISODE: BLOODLUST! (But not inquiry.)

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

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