Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: Caliban

As Mentioned in Episode 471 – Eyebrows and Powers (The Twelve, Part One)

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Which of our lucky contestants will make it into… The Twelve? (Uncanny X-Men #376)
The exceptionally ripped man he is today. (Uncanny X-Men #376)
Well, it beats breaking up with a text message… maybe? (Uncanny X-Men #376)
The costume so rad Jubilee would remember it existed and start wearing it on the regular years later when she became a vampire! (Uncanny X-Men #376)
…He says that during sex too, doesn’t he? (Uncanny X-Men #376)
Havok-hat versus fez: fight! (Uncanny X-Men #376)
“Why hello up there, Nate and Little Nate!” (Cable #75)
Angry faces! (Cable #75)
Angry faces, continued! (Cable #75)
Not gonna lie, that’s legitimately badass. (Cable #75)
WHO PUT THAT THERE?! (Cable #75)
En Sabah Snake (Cable #75)
Now kiss! (Cable #75)
Survival of the Toothiest (Cable #75)
Black Friday shopping gets worse every year. (X-Men #96)
“…if you know what I mean.” (X-Men #96)
Aww, c’mon, Scott – Fiz is just happy to be here! (X-Men #96)
Say what you will about Apocalypse, but he does design some pretty excellent costumes. (X-Men #96)
I really dig this take on Storm’s cape. (X-Men #96)
Hi Rory! Sorry about your, uh, everything! (X-Men #96)
Dear Alan Davis: please keep drawing Nightcrawler forever. (X-Men #96)
We just love this guy. (X-Men #96)
NEXT TIME: The Twelve continues!

471 – Eyebrows and Powers (The Twelve: Part One)

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Survival of the Toothiest (Cable #75)

In which we begin our coverage of The Twelve; Scott and Jean get sucked back in AGAIN; Apocalypse probably doesn’t tip; and we have become awfully fond of Cable.

X-PLAINED:

  • A codename that deviates from common patterns
  • The story so far
  • Uncanny X-Men #376
  • Cable #75
  • X-Men #96
  • Fiz the Skrull (again)
  • The Twelve
  • Foreshadowing, both accurate and otherwise
  • The Living Monolith (more) (again)
  • That one font
  • Time-travel logic
  • Cable vs. eyes
  • Fabian Cortez (more) (again)
  • A trap
  • Why the Twelve are the Twelve
  • The evolution of Cable

NEXT EPISODE: The Twelve continues!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 470 – Large Adult Men

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Nipples? Spigots? Weirdly evenly spaced barnacles? You be the judge! (Cable #73)
Neither that font nor that neck is acceptable. (Cable #73)
The fonts in this book are killing me. (Cable #73)
Hug #1. (Cable #73)
Hug #2. (Cable #73)
Perspective? I hardly know ‘er! Wait. Damnit. (Cable #73)
What’s REALLY on the CD? Tell us in the comments! (Cable #73)
Caliban: Tailor of Apocalypse! (Cable #73)
The juxtaposition between the art and text in this pane is extremely funny. (Cable #73)
Quick-change! (Cable #74)
Deathbird, or possibly Warbird now. (Cable #74)
Whoops. (Cable #74)
He looks so over it. (Cable #74)
Ewwwww. (Wolverine #145)
He does look pretty rad, though. (Wolverine #145)
THAT HORSE (Wolverine #145)
Large man being large. (Wolverine #145)
The first time the new claws come out. (Wolverine #145)
NEXT EPISODE: We couldn’t put it off forever.

LINKS & FURTHER NONSENSE

470 – Large Adult Men

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In which Cable may or may not have been a spokesperson for AT&T; it’s impossible to draw a CD dramatically; Wolverine gets his adamantium back; Apocalypse says the thing; and we probably can’t keep putting off The Twelve forever.

X-PLAINED:

  • One way to dispose of a corpse
  • Cable #73-74
  • Wolverine #145
  • Cable (more) (again)
  • Poor font choice
  • Sarcophagus nipples
  • Caliban (more) (again)
  • Impromptu tailoring
  • A cliched vignette
  • People talking on couches
  • A compact disc
  • Unpleasant reunions
  • An impressive outfit
  • Prior generations of horsemen of Apocalypse
  • Wolverine (more) (again)
  • How Wolverine ended up a horseman of Apocalypse
  • Apocalypse’s aesthetic
  • Wolverine vs. Hulk (yet again)
  • Which version of Magik was on Krakoa
  • An X-Men pitch in the style of Spidey and his Amazing Friends

NEXT EPISODE: The Twelve begins!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 391 – Mansion of Theseus

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
THE SIEGE OF THE VAPOR ANTS! THE SIEGE OF THE VAPOR ANTS! (Cable #45)
How has nobody died in the danger room?! (I mean, yet. But still.) (Cable #46)
I wish they’d made the bedrooms look a little more lived-in, but it’s still an effective sequence. (Cable #46)
Cable: Mole Man. (Cable #46)
Look at this nonsense. (Cable #46)
That’s… that’s a whooooole lotta captions, there. (Cable #47)
And a whole lotta beer. (Cable #47)
Meanwhile in X-Man… (X-Man #30)
This fuckin’ urchin, man. (X-Man #30)
Nate “It’s always the ’90s somewhere” Grey. (X-Man #30)
It’s easy to forget that even in the Marvel Universe, not everyone would take flight for granted. (X-Man #30)
NEXT WEEK: HAWK TALK
NEXT EPISODE: Generation X!

 

391 – Mansion of Theseus

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which the X-Mansion has unusually large vents; Cable’s hair should not be floppy; Nate Grey meets his maternal grandparents; and we would really like to know more about the Siege of the Vapor Ants.

X-PLAINED:

  • Cable #45-47
  • X-Man #30
  • What various Nathans have been up to
  • Operation Zero Tolerance (again)
  • The Siege of the Vapor Ants
  • Three grenades
  • Beefy vents for beefy men
  • Danger
  • Shi’arese
  • Cable vs. Bastion
  • So much beer
  • Three rad ladies
  • Several Greys
  • Roust
  • Every appearance of Joey and Gaylin Bailey
  • Several faked deaths
  • Possible impact of the MCU on the X-comics’ status quo
  • Character ages

NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk

NEXT EPISODE: Generation X

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 390 – Corners and Conspiracies

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
X-Force X-Plains Dani Moonstar. (X-Force #67)
Cable is probably the nice kind of babysitter who lets you stay up past your bedtime and watch scary movies. (X-Force #67)
Well, shit. (X-Force #67)
Fashion for the cutting-edge interdimensional explorer. (X-Force #68)
Domino over the years, maybe. (X-Force #68)
To our absolute shock, he survives. (X-Force #69)
Domino, transformed. See what we mean about the body language? (X-Force #69)
Please enjoy G.W. Bridge’s heart pajamas. (X-Force #69)
The lava lamp dimension. (X-Force #69)
Oh. THAT guy. (X-Force #69)
A familiar cover. (X-Force #70)
Man, fuck you, Ozymandias. (X-Force #70)
NEXT EPISODE: Nathans all over the place!

And here are some of the ridiculous creatures Jay met at the Sheep and Wool Festival:

 

390 – Corners and Conspiracies

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Danielle Moonstar quiet quits; a bunch of people regular quit; we are pleasantly surprised by the survival of a minor character; tough guys wear hearts; and X-Force once again takes its place as the best comic of the line.

X-PLAINED:

  • Vanisher’s brain tumor, again
  • X-Force #67-70
  • The Wakeman Oncological Research Center
  • Commander Ekaterina Gryaznova
  • The Mutant Liberation Front
  • Wildside
  • Dragoness
  • Forearm
  • Tempo
  • Locus
  • Moonstar (Mirage) (Danielle Moonstar)
  • Quiet quitting (and why it’s a bullshit concept)
  • Locus’s skin
  • Prime Sentinels
  • Ozymandias (again)
  • Llamas
  • A journey to another dimension
  • Spencer Beaumont
  • G. W. Bridge’s pajamas
  • In-between dimensions
  • Yet another homage to Uncanny X-Men #138
  • Cerebra
  • Earth-2099 vs. Earth-928
  • Our favorite non-canon ships

NEXT EPISODE: Cable, home alone

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 384 – The Banality of Evil

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Chris Bradley’s problems include the legacy virus, bigotry, and whatever the hell is going on with his head. (X-Men Unlimited #15)
Ouch. (X-Men Unlimited #15)
You’re a good pal, Maverick. (X-Men Unlimited #15)
AUGH (X-Men Unlimited #15)
Friends of Humanity should not be this over-the-top. (X-Men Unlimited #15)
It’s the Marvel Mutant Sex Web! (X-Men Unlimited #15)
Caliban plays Chopin. (X-Force #65)
Check out that ruffled tux shirt! (X-Force #65)
Mimic has absorbed the powers of the original five X-Men, including Angel’s perpetual toplessness. (X-Force #65)
Definitely Not Disney World (TM). (X-Force #66)
See, this is why I don’t go to theme parks. (X-Force #66)
Meet Sledge. (X-Force #66)
NEXT EPISODE: Strong Guy wakes up!

LINKS & FURTHER AMUSEMENTS:

384 – The Banality of Evil

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In which it’s hard to be a mutant post-Onslaught; two Chrises make friends; X-Force goes to off-brand Disney World; we are Team Risque; and you can go to the punch dimension but probably shouldn’t stay long.

X-PLAINED:

  • X-Men Unlimited #15
  • X-Force #65-66
  • Mutant life post-Onslaught
  • Spinning editorial oversight into story
  • Weasel, Jumbo, and Headcase
  • How not to write the Friends of Humanity
  • The Marvel sex web
  • Thunderbird (John Proudstar)
  • Warpath (James Proudstar)
  • Risque (Gloria Munoz)
  • Clubbing with Risque
  • Wacky World
  • Sledge
  • Dani Moonstar, Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D.
  • The punch dimension
  • The physics of ice ramps

NEXT EPISODE: Strong Guy wakes up!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!