Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: Cable

As Mentioned in Episode 231 – Life Bites

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Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
I feel like this cover is generally a good metaphor for the 1993 Marvel annuals. (X-Factor Annual #8)
Just once, I want this setup to turn out to be a red herring. (X-Factor Annual #8)
Random is either time displaced or the world’s most precocious gamete. (X-Factor Annual #8)
And that’s why you always leave a note! (X-Factor Annual #8)
Remember that time Strong Guy called out casual ableism and it was AWESOME? (X-Factor Annual #8)
Well, that was an unexpected turn. (X-Factor Annual #8)
The real question is how many of them summon him in order to make fun of his name. (X-Factor Annual #8)
For some value of “deadly,” at least. (X-Factor Annual #8)
Aw, Guido. (X-Factor Annual #8)
Good dog. (X-Factor Annual #8)
Teleports more than walks, really. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #17)
“Honestly, he really has no idea what the hell he’s doing.” (Uncanny X-Men Annual #17)
They even have their own entrance music. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #17)
Okay. This looks bad. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #17)
Grey-Summers problems. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #17)
This seems pretty fundamentally unfair. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #17)
You’re not wrong. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #17)
OH, SNAP. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #17)
He’ll be okay. Kind of. Eventually. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #17)
“By the way, has anyone ever told you that you have a crayon name? Because you totally have a crayon name. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #17)
Yep. (Excalibur Annual #1)
Kitty X-Plains your dreams. (Excalibur Annual #1)
When will Excalibur learn that nothing good ever comes from hanging out with wizards. (Excalibur Annual #1)
Nothing good… except for THIS DUDE! (Excalibur Annual #1)
This is Captain Britain’s M.O. in a nutshell. (Excalibur Annual #1)
“Guys, we’re playing Spelljammer now.” (Excalibur Annual #1)
Meanwhile, with Technet. (Excalibur Annual #1)
NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur goes to space!

LINKS & OTHER AMENITIES:

You can make your own Sienna Blaze lipstick!

While it’s setting, why not read more about the 1993 Marvel annuals and Evan Skolnick’s D&D campaign!

Or you could watch The Gamers and develop a deeper understanding of Jay’s joke about Captain Britain at the gaming table.

And there’s always Episode 21 – Kurt Busiek at the Coffee-a-Go-Go, where we delve deep into the wonders of Metoxo the Lava Man!

231 – Life Bites

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which DC is out of our bailiwick; Random gets around; someone finally makes an explicit reference to disability politics; death has not improved the Chalkers; Strong Guy can’t catch a break; we’re all whole other people; Sienna Blaze has a crayon name; we totally want to play D&D with Evan Skolnick; a trading card does not a memorable character make; and we are 100% here for the mutant episode of Sesame Street.

  • X-PLAINED:
  • What happened to Fred Duncan
  • Beastwriting
  • Marvel’s 1993 Annuals
  • The speculator boom
  • X-Factor Annual #8
  • Uncanny X-Men Annual #17
  • Excalibur Annual #1
  • Charlie Ronalds (Charon) and his issues
  • A protracted Batman reference
  • How to string pearls
  • A dubious twist on the danger room
  • The pure joy of a child, but twisted and distorted like a shredded butterfly
  • Cloot (Satannish)
  • Howling Mad, by Peter David
  • The greatest enemies of X-Factor (but not really)
  • Cruel and arbitrary moralizing
  • The other X-Cutioner (Carl Denti)
  • A protracted illusion
  • The Amazing Icemaster
  • Metacommentary
  • An accidental trap
  • The death of Jason Wyngarde (Mastermind)
  • Resolution versus forgiveness
  • The other first appearance of Sienna Blaze
  • More wizard stuff
  • Khaos
  • Khaos & Gritty 4 Lyfe
  • Ghath
  • Irth
  • Mutants on Sesame Street
  • Cycling in and out of comics

NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur goes to space!

CORRECTION: Chris Claremont did not in fact write Dragonlance comics.

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 229 – Giant-Size Special #7

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Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Surprisingly, not the worst trip either of them has been on. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #1)
Welcome to the future. Hope you survive the… y’know. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #1)
I kind of feel like most parents would be a little irritated if their kids did this. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #1)
Despite the cybernetics, this is definitely the closest li’l Nathan Christopher has ever looked to an actual human baby. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #1)
That is the face of a man who knows he will never, ever get to take a real vacation. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #1)
We see what you did, there. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #2)
Parents, amirite? (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #2)
It takes a certain degree of dedication to throw an orgy this boring. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #2)
That’s our Stryfe! (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #2)
Apocalypse’s future look. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #2)
Gene Ha is so good at weird cyborgs! (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #2)
“Also, where do babies come from?” (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #3)
I love the conceit that everyone in the future gives them shit for PDA. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #3)
OH, HEY, IT’S THE LEGACY VIRUS. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #3)
Quite literally face to face. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #3)
Nobody likes Stryfe. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #3)
And you thought puberty hit you hard. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #4)
Aw, Rachel. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #4)
“Also, I was thinking we could do brunch sometime. No? Too soon?” (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #4)
This dysfunctional fictional family is so damn important to me. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #4)
Clone Problems(TM). (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #4)
I mean, the first time aside from THE ENTIRETY OF THE LAST TWELVE YEARS. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #4)
I’m not crying. You’re crying. We’re both crying. Everyone is crying. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #4)
This comic, man. Right in the feels. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #4)
We don’t usually post pages that we also read, but we couldn’t in good conscience leave this one out. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #4)
“Time to get a lot of guns and some snappy one-liners.” (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #4)
NEXT EPISODE: Bring kleenex.

LINKS & FURTHER FESTIVITY:

Click through for Corbeau Awards and song lyrics!

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229 – Giant-Size Special #7

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we are beset by festivity; Scott Summers still can’t take a vacation; the Daysprings are a really good family; “G’journey” is a really good greeting; Stryfe is his own namesake; retcons have served Cable well; illustrator David Wynne makes his X-Plain podcast debut; and you should probably go ahead and get a shelf for all these awards.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Hayes family
  • The Grey-Summers Family circa 1993
  • The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #1-4
  • Summers/Sommers disambiguation
  • Gene Ha
  • Time travel
  • Earth-4935
  • Mother Askani
  • Prelate Ch’vayre
  • What “Askani” means
  • When and whether Cable sleeps
  • The passage of time
  • Slym and Redd Dayspring
  • A biblical allusion
  • A very good greeting
  • Prior Turrin
  • “Old” English
  • Li’l Stryfe
  • Some constraints of superhero comics
  • Parenting
  • Rachel Summers’s self-image
  • The origin of Cable’s codename
  • David Wynne and his art
  • “Strontium Dogs”
  • The X-Fandom starter pack
  • The Fifth Annual Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Awards for Excellence at X-Cellence
  • D&D with the Blue Team
  • All-New staying power
  • Fictional intersectionality
  • Change, in general

NEXT EPISODE: Bring kleenex.

CORRECTION: In this episode, Miles states that Scott and Jean are cool. They are, in fact, categorically uncool. We regret the error.

Special thanks to carolers Tina Carleton, Matt Gardner, Peter Gresser, Erin Pence, and Steve Pence!

Check out the visual companion to this episode–along with all the song lyrics and the complete Corbeau awards–on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 214 – Stryfe’s Burn Book

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Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Look at this gorgeous monstrosity. (Stryfe’s Strike File)
This dude would not appear in the main Marvel Universe until about a decade after he was introduced here. (Stryfe’s Strike File)
FORESHADOWING! (Stryfe’s Strike File)
Mystique’s worst kid, by a fairly wide margin. (Stryfe’s Strike File)
Remember her; she’ll be a big deal later. (Stryfe’s Strike File)
Stryfe: The Worst Kid in Your Fandom. (Stryfe’s Strike File)
SPOILER: This cover is profoundly misleading. (Uncanny X-Men #297)
WARREN KENNETH WORTHINGTON III, YOU DID WHAT?! (Uncanny X-Men #297)
A rare moment of candor from Professor X. (Uncanny X-Men #297)
The only part of this issue that I REALLY have trouble believing is that Jubilee was carying around a second pair of ‘blades just for funsies. Those things are cumbersome as heck. (Uncanny X-Men #297)
DAMNIT, JUBILEE. THIS IS WHY NOBODY TRUSTS YOU. (Uncanny X-Men #297)
Aw. (Uncanny X-Men #297)
And Aw, again. (Uncanny X-Men #297)
Yet a third Aw. (Uncanny X-Men #297)
She’s beauty, she’s grace, she’ll explode your face. (X-Force #19)
Bobby has had a pretty rough year. (X-Force #19)
Slow clap. (X-Force #19)
Vanessa is not having a great time post-X-Force. (X-Force #19)
PHOENIX II DECOLLETAGE! (X-Force #19)
Those are actually… really snazzy team uniforms. Dang. (X-Force #19)
And that was the end of THAT particular metaphor. (X-Force #19)
NEXT EPISODE: Rich people are different from us.

LINKS & FURTHER CONVERSATIONS:

214 – Stryfe’s Burn Book

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which “wolves” proves a remarkably broad category in the 616; we at least nominally wrap up X-Cutioner’s Song; Stryfe could really use a style guide; we issue our first-ever music challenge; Jubilee is an agent of chaos; Gambit’s powers are a metaphor; Charles Xavier has a complicated relationship to disability; the quality of Jay’s penmanship is a matter of official record; Boom Boom is a remarkably good costume designer; Cannonball comes into his own as a leader; and every “WHAT?!” you hear on this show is fresh and original.

X-PLAINED:

  • Wolves, to a very limited extent
  • Jay & Miles (kinda) at NYCC
  • Transcripts
  • X-Cutioner’s Song
  • Stryfe’s Strike File
  • Uncanny X-Men #297
  • X-Force #19
  • A gentle bird caught in a swirling tornado of lust and desperation
  • Shades of me
  • Shades of you
  • Shades of them
  • Our first-ever music challenge
  • Some foreshadowing
  • Nostalgia
  • A very nice hug
  • The one good side effect of Stryfe’s technoorganic virus
  • Charles Xavier vs. disability politics
  • Several practical jokes in very poor taste
  • Teacher-student bonding
  • An excellent epithet
  • Some lettering choices
  • An extended Hail Caesar riff
  • The Clooney Scale
  • An enduring mystery
  • Clone powers
  • Exclamatory logistics

NEXT EPISODE: Hey, remember Excalibur?

MUSIC CHALLENGE: Write and record a song based on or using text from Stryfe’s Strike File (or any of his rants from X-Cutioner’s Song)! Send your masterpieces (or links to ’em) to xplainthexmen(at)gmail(dot)com, with the subject STRYFE SONG!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 212 – Drumbeats of Despair

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Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
(Actually, it’s part of a triptych! Here are all three, together at last!)
Damnit, Stryfe. (Uncanny X-Men #296)
Ew. (Uncanny X-Men #296)
Including this entirely for Archangel’s epic grumpy face. (Uncanny X-Men #296)
Alas, the podcast JY & Miles X-Plain the X-Men won’t exist for another 23 years. (Uncanny X-Men #296)
Say what you will about Scott and Jean, but they’re aware of their own cliches. (Uncanny X-Men #296)
Of course. (Uncanny X-Men #296)
The number of unsettling ways in which X-artists can mess up drawing babies never ceases to impress. (Uncanny X-Men #296)
“Also, sorry ’bout your table.” (Uncanny X-Men #296)
“Remember,” said the editor, “Every comic is somebody’s first!” (X-Factor #86)
Seriously, though, that could not get more Patrick Nagel if Patrick Nagel had drawn it. (X-Factor #86)
“AND I’LL BE THE HEAD!” (X-Factor #86)
THIS. PAGE. (X-Factor #86)
No, not particularly. (X-Factor #86)
Seriously: Ew. (X-Factor #86)
“Eh, I got nowhere else to be.” (X-Factor #86)
They’re so enormous and heavily armed! (X-Men #16)
Aw, man, this is a really good heroic moment. (X-Men #16)
WHOOPS. (X-Men #16)
Well, that’s portentous. (X-Men #16)
Stryfe’s tirades remain an impressive mix of incredibly specific and frustratingly vague. (X-Force #18)
Possibly the most Stryfe line of the entire event. (X-Force #18)
Dang, Cable. (X-Force #18)
“Like, organs and stuff.” (X-Force #18)
I’d like to think that Stryfe is angriest about the pun. (X-Force #18)
SPOILER: He’ll be okay, at least by Cable standards. (X-Force #18)
Maybe it’s a universal remote! SERIOUSLY, CYCLOPS, I KNOW YOU WERE RECENTLY DEPRIVED OF OXYGEN, BUT IT’S VERY CLEARLY A DETONATOR. (X-Force #18)
Ouch. (X-Force #18)
NEXT EPISODE: Live from FlameCon, featuring Sina Grace, Magdalene Visaggio, and Leah Williams!

LINKS & FURTHER MISHAPS:

212 – Drumbeats of Despair: X-Cutioner’s Song (Part 3 or 3)

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which nobody but Stryfe’s diary understands him; Apocalypse is the best at what he does (and what he does is remarkably versatile); Scott and Jean weaponize their clichés; Jae Lee does his best Patrick Nagel; Apocalypse is poisonous; Cable goes full T-800; nothing good ever happens to Cyclops on the moon; Stryfe dies as passive-aggressively as he lived; and X-Cutioner’s Song finally concludes.

X-PLAINED:

  • How Cable dies
  • The Story So Far
  • Still more trading-card taxonomy
  • Uncanny X-Men #296
  • X-Factor #86
  • X-Men #16
  • X-Force #18
  • An AU we’d like to read
  • The not-Stüssy S
  • How to effectively reference X-Men #137
  • A decoy baby
  • An abortive escape
  • Moon gravity
  • Revelatory vandalism
  • A trip to the moon
  • A probably excessive number of hawk facts
  • Various daring rescues
  • How to kill time in space
  • Cathexes
  • A very fancy moon base
  • The cavalry, kind of
  • Stryfe vs. Cable
  • An X-Cellent epilogue
  • Several Silent Hill 2 references
  • Stryfe’s Legacy
  • Pawnee, Indiana vs. Marvel
  • Sexy high-security prisons of the future

NEXT EPISODE: Live from FlameCon, featuring Sina Grace, Magdalene Visaggio, and Leah Williams!

Special thanks to Matt for the subject of this episode’s cold open; and to the Protomen for use of their cover of “Total Eclipse of the Heart.”

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 211 – A Cornucopia of Mayhem

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Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Really, though, it was all just a hilarious misunderstanding. (Uncanny X-Men #295)
I’m just gonna let Jubilee caption this one… (Uncanny X-Men #295)
…Yep. (Uncanny X-Men #295)
PSYLOCKE, MURDER IS OCCASIONALLY NOT THE ANSWER. (Uncanny X-Men #295)
This is not actually a lot like child-rearing. (Uncanny X-Men #295)
It is very, very 1992 in here. (Uncanny X-Men #295)
Aw, Sam. You’re a good kid. (Uncanny X-Men #295)
NEXT ISSUE: Three men without inside voices. (Uncanny X-Men #295)
Sure, why not? (X-Factor #85)
Even Apocalypse is horrified by the ramifications of this mess. (X-Factor #85)
Compromise is the heart of teamwork! (X-Factor #85)
I really love both the art in this issue and Dragoness’s design as drawn by Jae Lee. (X-Factor #85)
It’s a metaphor! With robots! Probably! (X-Factor #85)
Awk-ward. (X-Factor #85)
You see what I mean about the DragonQuest thing? (X-Men #15)
Why is Psylocke standing like this mid-fight? Or at all, honestly? A MYSTERY FOR THE AGES. (X-Men #15)
I’m glad that Colossus’s Angst Landscaping has persevered. (X-Men #15)
No, Stryfe. And I think you know that. (X-Men #15)
new body who dis (X-Men #15)
NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOU, STRYFE. (X-Force #17)
Oh, that’ll end well. (X-Force #17)
Logan ABSOLUTELY deserved that. (X-Force #17)
Ouch. (X-Force #17)
Objectively, I know that X-Men #137 callbacks are calculated manipulation, BUT THEY ALWAYS WORK ANYWAY. (X-Force #17)
NEXT EPISODE: Man, this is a long event.

LINKS & FURTHER EXPERIMENTS:

211 – A Cornucopia of Mayhem: X-Cutioner’s Song (Part 2 of 3)

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Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Jubilee is underwhelmed by X-Force; Havok and Gambit make weirdly good buddy cops; Department K is a hot vacation destination; Cable is secretly a Coen Brothers protagonist; you can cancel Community but you can never take away Jay’s gratuitous Community references; Rusty goes full cultist; nobody is Stryfe’s real dad; smoking on a space station is a REALLY bad idea; Apocalypse is here to help; and Miles lies at length about music.

X-PLAINED:

  • Kuurth
  • Various Juggernauts
  • The Story So Far
  • More trading-card taxonomy
  • Uncanny X-Men #295
  • X-Factor #85
  • X-Men #15
  • X-Force #17
  • Varyingly hilarious misunderstandings
  • Wire Mothers: Harry Harlow and the Science of Love
  • What happened
  • Good Cop / Sleazy Cop
  • A deal
  • A tragic absence of Draculas
  • The Coen Brothers’ X-Cutioner’s Song
  • Thanksgiving with Cable
  • Miles’s summer camp hijinks
  • Murderbots in space (again)
  • A dubious strategy
  • MLF Redshirts
  • The second time someone force-fed superheroes baby food in space
  • A dropped plot thread
  • Things you shouldn’t do on space stations
  • Additional awkward reunions
  • Whether Stryfe is a Summers
  • The X-Cutioner’s signature karaoke song

NEXT EPISODE: Dang, this event is long.

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)