Cable – Page 11 – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 158 – No Focus, Less Direction

August 6, 2017 Jay 4 comments

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

“Oh, like THAT’s a big deal or something.” (Uncanny X-Men #273)

That’s a lot of X-Men. (Uncanny X-Men #273)

Bobby, you incorrigible scamp! Way to EXPLODE THE PIPES IN THE SOLE BATHROOM SHARED BY EIGHTEEN PEOPLE. (Uncanny X-Men #273)

The original creative teams will be played by Storm in this panel. (Uncanny X-Men #273)

Awk-ward. (Uncanny X-Men #273)

Telekinetics don’t need shower curtains. (Uncanny X-Men #273)

We unironically adore this ridiculous pair of panels. (Uncanny X-Men #273)

This is a lot creepier if you remember that the Shadow King took over Jean permanently in one of the earths Excalibur visited… (Uncanny X-Men #273)

Meanwhile, in the sexy, sexy Savage Land… (Uncanny X-Men #274)

Between the art and the cascade of dramatic Magneto captions, this splash kinda encapsulates the whole arc. (Uncanny X-Men #274)

Whoa. (Uncanny X-Men #274)

To be fair, that was always a really iffy battle tactic. (Uncanny X-Men #274)

“Also, am I imagining the sudden switch to romance comic framing?” (Uncanny X-Men #274)

No one gets dressed more dramatically than Magneto. (Uncanny X-Men #274)

Zaladane: boring as hell, but damn does she know how to dress! (Uncanny X-Men #274)

That’s prudent, I suppose, for a certain value of the term. (Uncanny X-Men #274)

Please note that:
A) Ka-Zar is calling Rogue “Red” despite the fact that her hair is clearly brown.
B) A mostly-naked man and his tiger buddy are clearly not REMOTELY the weirdest things those S.H.I.E.L.D. troops have shared a transport with.
(Uncanny X-Men #275)

It sure is 1991. (Uncanny X-Men #275)

Every goddamn time. (Uncanny X-Men #275)

Where’s an editorial footnote when you actually need one? (Oh, fine, I’ll do it: See Classic X-Men #12 and #19, respectively! -Jaded Jay) (Uncanny X-Men #275)

Well, that’s convenient timing! (Uncanny X-Men #275)

Murder is negotiable, but frontal nudity? NEVER. (Uncanny X-Men #275)

NEXT WEEK: The end of New Mutants!

LINKS & FURTHER LISTENING

The Lightning and the Storm (Miles & Elisabeth’s now-complete Thor podcast)
Jay’s Instagram

158 – No Focus, Less Direction

August 6, 2017 Jay 36 comments

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In which we return triumphant from hiatus; it’s still always Inferno in here; no one should ever under any circumstances date Cameron Hodge; Kenneth is a fundamentally hilarious name; Magneto’s family gets retconned to death; Pterosaurs are still the absolute worst; and Magik totally deserves a sidekick.

X-PLAINED:

Ka-Zar’s real name
Shanna the She-Devil
Our new production set-up
What we did on our summer vacations
Previously on X-Men
Further limits of the mutant metaphor
Uncanny X-Men #273-275
A crisis of leadership
A comic that is a metaphor that is also a comic
Cable’s OkCupid profile
Changing creative dynamics on the X-line
Archangel’s middle name
Gambit vs. Wolverine
Censorship Steam
The protean X-bathroom
Magneto’s retconned family
Colonel Semyanov
A perhaps ill-conceived team-up
The Self-Styled Mistress of Magnetism
Some remarkably lucky timing
The semantics of heel turns
Gender and sidekicks
Mr. Sinister’s powers

NEXT EPISODE: The end of New Mutants!

You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 157 – Melted to Slag

April 30, 2017 Jay 10 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Contact David to purchase the original!

I’m trying to imagine the Punisher in a bunch of different man-on-the-street segments, and it’s never not funny. (Uncanny X-Men #272)

Dramatis Personae and their dramatic wigs. (Uncanny X-Men #272)

Oh, dear. (Uncanny X-Men #272)

“Also, Nightcrawler had a ghost friend briefly.” (Uncanny X-Men #272)

One of Hodge’s more pronounced Mojo moments. (Uncanny X-Men #272)

Okay, that’s legitimately impressive. (Uncanny X-Men #272)

[Insert Rocketeer reference here.] (Uncanny X-Men #272)

MIND, SPIRIT, and BODY! (Uncanny X-Men #272)

Seriously, though, how is Wolverine’s mask staying on? Discuss. (New Mutants #97)

‘Kay. (New Mutants #97)

Zowie! (New Mutants #97)

Scary Rahne is so good. (New Mutants #97)

“Topless Havok will lead us to victory!” (X-Factor #62)

Included for scale, mostly. (X-Factor #62)

Neither of you deserve her. (X-Factor #62)

Wonder Twins Powers, go! (X-Factor #62)

Damn, that’s satisfying. (X-Factor #62)

That, too. (X-Factor #62)

Spoiler: It’s the second one. (X-Factor #62)

NEXT EPISODE: Jay and Miles take a three-month hiatus. See you in August!

157 – Melted to Slag

April 30, 2017 Jay 46 comments

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In which the X-Tinction Agenda reaches its Return of the Jedi; Wolverine is a weaponized nuisance; HR would like a word with Gambit; Havok gets framed; Cameron Hodge is the great unifier; Genosha is revolting; you don’t get to make a threatening speech about someone else’s powers; Jean Grey is tired of your bullshit; and Jay and Miles may or may not dive into the Siege Perilous!

X-PLAINED:

The Law of Conservation of Plot Elements
Uncanny X-Men #272
New Mutants #97
X-Factor #62
The Story So Far
Glasses fashions in comics
The difference between Batman and the Punisher
How to tell that something has gone terribly wrong
Acceptable pants
Some really sketchy judicial process
A ruse
Several retcons concerning Wolverine
Consequence-free impaling
Chekhov’s genetic engineering
Louise Simonson’s final issue of New Mutants
The relative durability of mutants
A number of prescient threats
This one time Jay and Miles got paid to throw a bunch of printers down a flight of stairs
Summers Brothers team-ups
A very cathartic fight
Thoughts on books as physical artifacts and collecting comics
Places to jump into long X-series on Marvel Unlimited
Our plans for the hiatus

THE PODCAST WILL BE ON HIATUS DURING MAY, JUNE, AND JULY, 2017! SEE YOU IN AUGUST!

You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 156 – Genosha Strikes Back

April 23, 2017 Jay 6 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Contact David to purchase the original!

Just in case you’ve forgotten since last week! (Uncanny X-Men #271)

Here, have some New Mutants, while we’re at it. (Uncanny X-Men #271)

The Technicolor Knight Returns! (Uncanny X-Men #271)

When even Evil!Sexy Moira has better scientific ethics than you, you’ve got some thinking to do, Moreau. (Uncanny X-Men #271)

“I mean, I know I played a central role in subjugating an entire people and subjecting them to unspeakable horrors, but sometimes I felt kinda bad about it!” (Uncanny X-Men #271)

She’s not wrong, dude. (Uncanny X-Men #271)

Awk-ward. (Uncanny X-Men #271)

Ahhh, THERE it is! (Uncanny X-Men #271)

Spoiler: Nah. (Uncanny X-Men #271)

Liefeld kick! Take a drink! (New Mutants #96)

“Also can I draw on her face with a sharpie?” (New Mutants #96)

When threatened, the wild Jubilee will fan out her tail in a display meant to intimidate predators. (New Mutants #96)

Jean’s face, tho. “Ugh, AGAIN.” (X-Factor #61)

Because we never get tired of those dramatis personae pages. (X-Factor #61)

Bogdanove’s Hodge really is the best Hodge. (X-Factor #61)

I’m pretty sure this is the first hint we’ve gotten at Cable’s mutant powers. (Based on eventually-established continuity, he should be dying of the T-O virus right now, but that wouldn’t be written in until much later.) (X-Factor #61)

These nerds. (X-Factor #61)

I wonder what’s in Xavier’s telepathically-derived files! (X-Factor #61)

That Charles Xavier keeps detailed files on which of his students want to bang each other is the least surprising thing I’ve read in my life. (X-Factor #61)

“I mean, except for the chokehold part! (X-Factor #61)

NEXT EPISODE: Revenge of the return of the X-Men!

LINKS & FURTHER READING

“Politics and the English Language,” by George Orwell, is one of Jay’s favorite essays of all time.
Now you, too, can be robot Jean Valjean.
Here’s Elle Collins’s X-Men reboot pitch at the late, great Comics Alliance.

156 – Genosha Strikes Back

April 23, 2017 Jay 28 comments

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In which we hit the Empire Strikes Back of X-Tinction Agenda; it’s hard to be Laura Kinney; the psychic knife makes its debut; Evil!Sexy Moira retains some moral high ground; if your society is built on slavery, your society deserves to crumble; words mean things; Havok would be a terrible housecat; the mutants do not have the patent on stupidity; the opposite of blades is cotton; we give Cameron Hodge’s severed head a pep talk; and Cyclops goes full Peralta.

X-PLAINED:

Uncanny X-Men #271, New Mutants #96, X-Factor #61
Laura Kinney’s brief babysitting career
Our upcoming hiatus
Dramatis personae
A figurative battering ram
Focused totality
Best insults of the 1990s
A debate
Ethics of rhetoric
Housecat Havok
Skittering
Mutate numbering systems
The Prisoner vs. Les Miserables
The slow disintegration of reality as we know it
Sneaking with Cable
A singularly anticlimactic cover
A lushly illustrated report
Increasingly petty revenge
S.H.I.E.L.D.’s most advanced bald cap
A rising storm
Art teams
What we’d like to see out of an X-Men cinematic reboot

NEXT EPISODE: Return of the Revenge of the X-Men

You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 155

April 16, 2017 Jay 8 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Contact David to purchase the original!

“I HATE THIS SHIRT!” (X-Men #270)

X-Men… (X-Men #270)

…and New Mutants. (Not pictured: X-Factor.) (X-Men #270)

Look, dude, I am PRETTY SURE they have schedules in the future and you’re just being a dick. (X-Men #270)

Strong Guy FTW! (X-Men #270)

The X-Men, summed up in a single perfect panel. (X-Men #270)

“It’s impossible! Unless there was an unscrupulous redhead, or I guess if he got bored…” (X-Men #270)

Fortunately, the Genoshans were able to outfit them with strategically placed shadows and thought balloons. (New Mutants #95)

THAT’S NOT REASSURING. (New Mutants #95)

My first kiss was basically exactly like this. (New Mutants #95)

Well, then. (New Mutants #95)

The weirdly anticlimactic death of Warlock. (New Mutants #95)

In the land of Genosha… and Manhattan… and some random airstrip… and, look, they use this basic plotline a lot. (X-Factor #60)

Ah, THAT’S the Hodge we know and love! (X-Factor #60)

“Son, do you have a license for that esoteric paraphernalia?” (X-Factor #60)

Boom Boom’s dad is a jerk. (X-Factor #60)

Awwww, they’re learning! (X-Factor #60)

You’d think they’d eventually wise up and get clothes resistant to their own and each other’s powers, but, no. (X-Factor #60)

This is just delightful. (X-Factor #60)

Scott, that’s not how you–you know what? Never mind. (X-Factor #60)

I know they hadn’t been retconned to be father and son yet, but this is some great accidental foreshadowing all the same. (X-Factor #60)

NEXT EPISODE: This asshole, again.

LINKS & FURTHER READING

For more on Miles’s upcoming project, Thor: The Lightning and the Storm, check out http://www.thelightningandthestorm.com!

155 – X-Tinction Event

April 16, 2017 Jay 45 comments

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In which the X-Tinction Agenda begins in earnest; Jim Lee rocks our world; Cable doesn’t need any Mickey-Mouse schedules; Jean Grey is not paid by the word; Havok makes a heel turn; Boom Boom’s pretext of self-interest fools no one; Cameron Hodge is STILL the worst; and Jay and Miles make an announcement.

X-PLAINED:

Warlock across the multiverse
Uncanny X-Men #270, New Mutants #95, X-Factor #60
X-Tinction Agenda
The first modern crossover
The creative state of the X-line
Limitations of Marvel Unlimited
Dramatis Personae
Mickey-Mouse schedules
The X-Men, who do not die the old-fashioned way
One-way nude teleportation
Magistrate Summers
The return of Cameron Hodge’s angry severed head
Wipeout (again)
Mutates
The death of Warlock
The esoteric paraphernalia of war
Silver Age misogyny
What we’d do differently if we introduced the X-Men in 2017
Our upcoming hiatus

NEXT EPISODE: It gets worse.

You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

152 – Ghosts of Future Present

March 27, 2017 Jay 58 comments

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In which Franklin Richards makes everything more complicated; Reed Richards is a terrible parent; Days of Future Present is a surprisingly good ghost story; Valeria Richards is awesome (but does not appear in this crossover); everyone’s got hounds these days; Banshee is your sad cyborg dad; Phoenix has a lot of feelings; and X-Factor once again manages to up the ante for child endangerment.

X-PLAINED:

Nightcrawler’s brief clerical career
Days of Future Present
Annuals, in general
Some extraordinarily specific Namor headcanon
Fantastic Four Annual #23
New Mutants Annual #6
X-Factor Annual #5
Uncanny X-Men Annual #14
Franklin Richards
Several statuses quo
The reproductive potential of Doombots
Ms. Marvel (Sharon Ventura)
Ahab
A Code Red Time Emergency
One of Jay’s dream pitches
Your sad cyborg dad
The worst tea party
One hell of a kiss
Robocop vs. Terminator

NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur gets eclectic!

The visual companion to this episode will be up later this week.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)