For the record: I am not even a little bit sorry. -Rachel
Art by David Wynne. We’re not selling prints of this one, but you can still hit David up for the original!
Many thanks to Kris Anka, Marguerite Bennett, Kieron Gillen, and Peter Nguyen! (I have no idea why this photo keeps displaying upside down, but at this point, I’m just gonna keep running with it.)
NEXT WEEK: Rachel and Miles Recap 51 episodes in under an hour.
In which Rachel and Miles go to Emerald City Comicon; six people try to share one microphone with varying success; you will never love anything as much as Kris loves Broo; Marguerite may or may not be a time-traveling supervillain; Peter is Laser Guy; Kieron joins an X-team; Hell is other X-Men; everyone lies egregiously; and it all comes back to Namor’s abs.
Special thanks to Jean, who let us borrow her mic and pop filter at the very last second when we realized we’d left ours in Portland! <3
X-PLAINED:
Namor’s last name
Several Secret Wars titles
Wiz Kid
Favorite characters
Lady Deathstrike’s new look
Seanan McGuire’s cats
Machetes of Future Past
Emily Aster
Asteroid P
Secret origins
Points of entry
Headcanon
The Wolverine and the X-Men Season 2 that might have been
The pros and cons of an isolated X-universe
The X-Istentialists
Hela’s Angels
Namor’s abs
What defines the X-Men
Mr. Sinister
Our X-movie wish lists
Wes Anderson’s X-Men (both of them)
NEXT WEEK: Previously on Rachel & Miles X-Plain the X-Men…
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Stun bombs are to comics as knockout spray is to cartoons. (X-Men #161)
We really only included this to point out the smoke coming from Wolverine’s underwear. (X-Men #162)
And that’s how you do a cold open. (X-Men #162)
Remember this space whale. It’ll be important later. (X-Men #162)
So, that’s a little creepy, and… (X-Men #162)
…AUGH WAIT WHAT THE HELL?! (X-Men #162)
Fang just cannot catch a break. (X-Men #162)
This is one of very, very few times when Wolverine’s healing factor has been written as at all under his control. (X-Men #162)
How cool would it have been if he’d kept this look? Hint: So cool. (X-Men #162)
Fair warning: This visual companion is basically an excuse to post a lot of really awesome Carol Danvers moments. (X-Men #163)
Cyclops successfully completes TWO whole hugs during the Brood Saga! Also: space fashion. (X-Men #163)
So, THAT’S CREEPY. (X-Men #163)
Remember that thing about how this visual companion is mostly an excuse to post pictures of Carol Danvers being awesome? That. (X-Men #164)
ROCKET SHARKS. (X-Men #164)
Including this just for the dozen people who have written us to ask if Storm’s powers work in space (also covered in the Phoenix Saga, incidentally). (X-Men #164)
In which Claremont and/or Cockrum seem to forget that Kitty’s powers fry electrical systems. (X-Men #164)
BINARY, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. (X-Men #164)
Imagine how much of Inferno could have been avoided if the Professor had decided to press this point. (X-Men #164)
AUGH GOD BINARY IS SO AWESOME. (X-Men #164)
Not that Cockrum’s not great, but can we have a moment of silence for how amazingly Neal Adams would’ve drawn this specific panel? (X-Men #164)
If you like the Brood Saga, you should be reading the current Captain Marvel series (and vice versa). This is very much the Carol Danvers of both. (X-Men #164)
That moment when the Brood Saga could’ve become a really heavy-handed reproductive-rights allegory, and we’re all really grateful that it didn’t. (X-Men #164)
Well, fuck. (X-Men #164)
Binary: Too awesome for your stupid airlock. (X-Men #164)
That time Moira MacTaggert manipulated Charles Xavier into starting a second ongoing X-book. (X-Men #165)
Welcome to X-Men, Paul Smith! Hope you survive the experience! (X-Men #165)
Faced with certain and inevitable death, the X-Men decide to go kill some Brood. (X-Men #165)
Rad bromance. (X-Men #165)
CORRECT CHOICE, COLOSSUS. (X-Men #165)
Remember that time Storm became a space whale and quoted Phoenix? (X-Men #165)
Seriously, though: Binary. (X-Men #166)
WELL, THEN. (X-Men #166)
Mostly in here to point out that Kitty’s impending death has not cooled her affection for the Shi’ar fashion machines. (X-Men #166)
Storm X-plains the Acanti, part one. (X-Men #166)
Storm X-plains the Acanti, part two. (X-Men #166)
Our episode outline addresses this panel as follows:
KITTY YOU ARE THE BEST NERD
DOES CYCLOPS WATCH STAR TREK? DISCUSS. SHOW YOUR WORK.
(X-Men #166)
(X-Men: Evolution Cyclops definitely watches Star Trek, for the record.)
In addition to the shocking reveal, this moment leads to one of stupidest and most avoidable minor continuity errors of the issue. (X-Men #166)
Best Brood moment? Best Brood moment. (X-Men #166)
LOCKHEED! (X-Men #166)
And they all lived happily ever after. (X-Men #166)
OH, WAIT. (X-Men #166)
Just in case you haven’t caught on to the fact that this is an extended thematic and structural riff on the Dark Phoenix Saga. (X-Men #167)
Can we talk about the New Mutants’ adorable collective crush on Magnum, P.I.? (X-Men #167)
THAT SUBTITLE. (X-Men #167)
Kitty’s got a new outfit. Take a drink. (X-Men #167)
Okay. This looks bad. (X-Men #167)
Speaking of the Dark Phoenix Saga… (X-Men #167)
Cyclops has a good day (and completes an unprecedented SECOND successful hug in the same story!), but this plot thread is going to lead straight to Madelyne Pryor, so, that’s probably a net loss. (X-Men #167)
That time Empress Lilandra projected into Reed and Sue Storm’s bedroom to scold them in the middle of the night. (X-Men #167)
Professor Xavier returns to life, and Kitty gets yet ANOTHER new outfit. Two drinks. (X-Men #167)
In which Kitty learns what the reader has known all along. (X-Men #167)
Next Week: Back to the Silver Age (and a very important retcon) with Kurt Busiek!
In which Claremont levels up; the Brood are legitimately scary; Colossus is an ethical dude; Nightcrawler and Wolverine share beers in the face of certain death; Storm turns into a space whale; we are Carol Corps for life; New Mutants are really into Magnum, P.I.; Kitty meets a dragon; and Xavier dies (again).
X-Plained:
Broo
The Brood Saga (X-Men #161-167)
Paul Smith
Space fashion
A really terrible awards ceremony
Tim O’Brien’s X-Men
The Brood
How to tell a good Wolverine story
Rocket sharks
The single most badass magical-girl transformation sequence of all time
Binary
The X-Men’s Kobayashi Maru
Friendship (more) (again)
The Acanti
Whether Cyclops watches Star Trek
The New Mutants
Cloning
Our secret cold-open formula
Cosmic crossovers
Next Week: Kurt Busiek! We would have words with thee!
You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.