Thanks again to James and Sam for letting us use their hotel room for this ridiculousness!
WHAT?! Less than a month back, and it’s a brand new mid-week bonus episode!
In which Jay, Niki, Sina, and James drink fancy Scotch and talk FlameCon; what X-Men means to us as queer readers and writers; the difference between the bat family and the X-Men; mutant metaphors; favorite ‘ships; and more!
This episode comes courtesy of our rad Patreon subscribers. If you want to join their ranks and help keep us on the air and ad-free–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Beast goes hardboiled. (X-Factor: Prisoner of Love)
“Join me on the windowsill, that we may exchange portentous but vague endearments.” (X-Factor: Prisoner of Love)
This seems like it’s going to be a really big deal, but it’s not. (X-Factor: Prisoner of Love)
Eldritch horrors, amirite? (X-Factor: Prisoner of Love)
One of the coolest things about the art in Prisoner of Love is how well Guice makes not-actually-supernatural things look really eerie. (X-Factor: Prisoner of Love)
Well, that can’t be good. (X-Factor: Prisoner of Love)
This page is kinda Prisoner of Love in a nutshell: the symbolism is basically illusory, but it’s so stylish that I don’t really care. (X-Factor: Prisoner of Love)
THAT OUTFIT, THO. (X-Factor: Prisoner of Love)
“This would be so much cooler if one of us could turn into a bear.” (X-Factor: Prisoner of Love)
That’s rough, buddy. (X-Factor: Prisoner of Love)
Well, then. (X-Factor: Prisoner of Love)
AND NOW, CYBURAI! (X-Factor #63)
That window looks super technoorganic, though, right? (X-Factor #63)
NICELY DONE, BOBBY. (X-Factor #63)
“We’ll go rescue your girlfriend in a sec, but first check out our rad new costumes!” (X-Factor #63)
The Cyburai.
Nah, sorry, these are the actual Cyburai. Still definitely a boy band, though. (X-Factor #63)
Spoiler: Optimus Prime dies. (X-Factor #64)
Cheer up, emu kid. (X-Factor #64)
Possibly the most awkward ending image ever. (X-Factor #64)
NEXT EPISODE: Kitty Pryde enrolls at St. Subtext’s Academy for Young Ladies.
In which the ladies love Hank McCoy; feelings are terrible; wereStarlins stalk the night; Stan Lee is definitely trying to sell you a car; Iceman has a lot to prove; we bid a reluctant farewell to Louise Simonson’s tenure on X-Factor; and yes, video reviews will be back eventually.
X-PLAINED:
The Intelligentsia
Jay & Miles at Rose City Comic Con and New York Comic Con
Prestige Format comics
X-Factor: Prisoner of Love
X-Factor #63-64
A possible cameo
Synthia Naip
Several ways to identify individuals from outer space
Visual conceits of supernatural noir
A deeply unhealthy relationship
The mysterious wereStarlin
The hickey of destiny
Whether Starfox would fuck a crystal
Cyburai and/or cyberpunks
What makes for good team costumes
Post-Iceman cleanup
The secret origins of Opal Tanaka
Tatsu’o
Hiro
The Gal Pal Squad
Assorted macho bullshit
The end of Louise Simonson’s involvement with the central X-line
Where to find Dr. Nemesis
Magneto’s D&D alignment
Whether and when video reviews will return
NEXT EPISODE: Girls’ School from Heck!
You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog.
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)
“Oh, like THAT’s a big deal or something.” (Uncanny X-Men #273)
That’s a lot of X-Men. (Uncanny X-Men #273)
Bobby, you incorrigible scamp! Way to EXPLODE THE PIPES IN THE SOLE BATHROOM SHARED BY EIGHTEEN PEOPLE. (Uncanny X-Men #273)
The original creative teams will be played by Storm in this panel. (Uncanny X-Men #273)
Awk-ward. (Uncanny X-Men #273)
Telekinetics don’t need shower curtains. (Uncanny X-Men #273)
We unironically adore this ridiculous pair of panels. (Uncanny X-Men #273)
This is a lot creepier if you remember that the Shadow King took over Jean permanently in one of the earths Excalibur visited… (Uncanny X-Men #273)
Meanwhile, in the sexy, sexy Savage Land… (Uncanny X-Men #274)
Between the art and the cascade of dramatic Magneto captions, this splash kinda encapsulates the whole arc. (Uncanny X-Men #274)
Whoa. (Uncanny X-Men #274)
To be fair, that was always a really iffy battle tactic. (Uncanny X-Men #274)
“Also, am I imagining the sudden switch to romance comic framing?” (Uncanny X-Men #274)
No one gets dressed more dramatically than Magneto. (Uncanny X-Men #274)
Zaladane: boring as hell, but damn does she know how to dress! (Uncanny X-Men #274)
That’s prudent, I suppose, for a certain value of the term. (Uncanny X-Men #274)
Please note that: A) Ka-Zar is calling Rogue “Red” despite the fact that her hair is clearly brown. B) A mostly-naked man and his tiger buddy are clearly not REMOTELY the weirdest things those S.H.I.E.L.D. troops have shared a transport with. (Uncanny X-Men #275)
It sure is 1991. (Uncanny X-Men #275)
Every goddamn time. (Uncanny X-Men #275)
Where’s an editorial footnote when you actually need one? (Oh, fine, I’ll do it: See Classic X-Men #12 and #19, respectively! -Jaded Jay) (Uncanny X-Men #275)
In which we return triumphant from hiatus; it’s still always Inferno in here; no one should ever under any circumstances date Cameron Hodge; Kenneth is a fundamentally hilarious name; Magneto’s family gets retconned to death; Pterosaurs are still the absolute worst; and Magik totally deserves a sidekick.
X-PLAINED:
Ka-Zar’s real name
Shanna the She-Devil
Our new production set-up
What we did on our summer vacations
Previously on X-Men
Further limits of the mutant metaphor
Uncanny X-Men #273-275
A crisis of leadership
A comic that is a metaphor that is also a comic
Cable’s OkCupid profile
Changing creative dynamics on the X-line
Archangel’s middle name
Gambit vs. Wolverine
Censorship Steam
The protean X-bathroom
Magneto’s retconned family
Colonel Semyanov
A perhaps ill-conceived team-up
The Self-Styled Mistress of Magnetism
Some remarkably lucky timing
The semantics of heel turns
Gender and sidekicks
Mr. Sinister’s powers
NEXT EPISODE: The end of New Mutants!
You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog.
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)
Art by David Wynne. Contact David to purchase the original!
In which the X-Tinction Agenda reaches its Return of the Jedi; Wolverine is a weaponized nuisance; HR would like a word with Gambit; Havok gets framed; Cameron Hodge is the great unifier; Genosha is revolting; you don’t get to make a threatening speech about someone else’s powers; Jean Grey is tired of your bullshit; and Jay and Miles may or may not dive into the Siege Perilous!
X-PLAINED:
The Law of Conservation of Plot Elements
Uncanny X-Men #272
New Mutants #97
X-Factor #62
The Story So Far
Glasses fashions in comics
The difference between Batman and the Punisher
How to tell that something has gone terribly wrong
Acceptable pants
Some really sketchy judicial process
A ruse
Several retcons concerning Wolverine
Consequence-free impaling
Chekhov’s genetic engineering
Louise Simonson’s final issue of New Mutants
The relative durability of mutants
A number of prescient threats
This one time Jay and Miles got paid to throw a bunch of printers down a flight of stairs
Summers Brothers team-ups
A very cathartic fight
Thoughts on books as physical artifacts and collecting comics
Places to jump into long X-series on Marvel Unlimited
Our plans for the hiatus
THE PODCAST WILL BE ON HIATUS DURING MAY, JUNE, AND JULY, 2017! SEE YOU IN AUGUST!
You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog.
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)
Art by David Wynne. Contact David to purchase the original!
Just in case you’ve forgotten since last week! (Uncanny X-Men #271)
Here, have some New Mutants, while we’re at it. (Uncanny X-Men #271)
The Technicolor Knight Returns! (Uncanny X-Men #271)
When even Evil!Sexy Moira has better scientific ethics than you, you’ve got some thinking to do, Moreau. (Uncanny X-Men #271)
“I mean, I know I played a central role in subjugating an entire people and subjecting them to unspeakable horrors, but sometimes I felt kinda bad about it!” (Uncanny X-Men #271)
She’s not wrong, dude. (Uncanny X-Men #271)
Awk-ward. (Uncanny X-Men #271)
Ahhh, THERE it is! (Uncanny X-Men #271)
Spoiler: Nah. (Uncanny X-Men #271)
Liefeld kick! Take a drink! (New Mutants #96)
“Also can I draw on her face with a sharpie?” (New Mutants #96)
When threatened, the wild Jubilee will fan out her tail in a display meant to intimidate predators. (New Mutants #96)
Jean’s face, tho. “Ugh, AGAIN.” (X-Factor #61)
Because we never get tired of those dramatis personae pages. (X-Factor #61)
Bogdanove’s Hodge really is the best Hodge. (X-Factor #61)
I’m pretty sure this is the first hint we’ve gotten at Cable’s mutant powers. (Based on eventually-established continuity, he should be dying of the T-O virus right now, but that wouldn’t be written in until much later.) (X-Factor #61)
These nerds. (X-Factor #61)
I wonder what’s in Xavier’s telepathically-derived files! (X-Factor #61)
That Charles Xavier keeps detailed files on which of his students want to bang each other is the least surprising thing I’ve read in my life. (X-Factor #61)
“I mean, except for the chokehold part! (X-Factor #61)
Art by David Wynne. Contact David to purchase the original!
In which we hit the Empire Strikes Back of X-Tinction Agenda; it’s hard to be Laura Kinney; the psychic knife makes its debut; Evil!Sexy Moira retains some moral high ground; if your society is built on slavery, your society deserves to crumble; words mean things; Havok would be a terrible housecat; the mutants do not have the patent on stupidity; the opposite of blades is cotton; we give Cameron Hodge’s severed head a pep talk; and Cyclops goes full Peralta.
X-PLAINED:
Uncanny X-Men #271, New Mutants #96, X-Factor #61
Laura Kinney’s brief babysitting career
Our upcoming hiatus
Dramatis personae
A figurative battering ram
Focused totality
Best insults of the 1990s
A debate
Ethics of rhetoric
Housecat Havok
Skittering
Mutate numbering systems
The Prisoner vs. Les Miserables
The slow disintegration of reality as we know it
Sneaking with Cable
A singularly anticlimactic cover
A lushly illustrated report
Increasingly petty revenge
S.H.I.E.L.D.’s most advanced bald cap
A rising storm
Art teams
What we’d like to see out of an X-Men cinematic reboot
NEXT EPISODE: Return of the Revenge of the X-Men
You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog.
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)
![[Insert Rocketeer reference here.] (Uncanny X-Men #272)](https://i0.wp.com/www.xplainthexmen.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/8_UXM272.png?w=296&h=296&crop=1&ssl=1 "8_UXM272")
