Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

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As Mentioned in Episode 473 – The Baker’s Dozen (The Twelve, Part Three)

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You know it’s serious business when someone smashes the logo. (Uncanny X-Men #377)
How long did it take him to set up that machinery? (Uncanny X-Men #377)
He said it! He said it! (Uncanny X-Men #377)
Apocalypse’s balls. (Uncanny X-Men #377)
Apocalypse’s balls, version two. (Cable #76)
A younger Cable. (Cable #76)
Aw, man. (Cable #76)
FEELINGS. (Cable #76)
Potato snow. (Cable #76)
Maybe the bodice is scale, not quilted? But it really looks quilted. (Cable #76)
The power of continuity! (X-Men #97)
The chewy center of Apocalypse. (X-Men #97)
And THAT’S how you reference Uncanny X-Men #137. (X-Men #97)
Well, shit. (X-Men #97)
NEXT EPISODE: Jay & Miles 2024 Winter Special!

LINKS & FURTHER ADVENTURES

473 – The Baker’s Dozen (The Twelve, Part Three)

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In which you know it’s serious business when a logo gets smashed; the prophecy of the Twelve is an elaborate prank; we have a lot of Summers family feelings; Apocalypse is not a very good planner; and the Twelve reaches its conclusion.

X-PLAINED:

  • Who Madelyne Pryor’s psychic ghost really is
  • The story so far
  • Uncanny X-Men #377
  • Cable #76
  • X-Men #97
  • Perks of immortality
  • A slightly gratuitous way to destroy an airplane
  • Several doppelgangers
  • Apocalypse’s big, stupid plan
  • A fancy science machine
  • The Atomium
  • The Twelve
  • The three elements
  • The best issue of the Twelve
  • Orb action
  • Cable’s knowledge of history
  • Summers feelings
  • How to establish stakes
  • Potato storms
  • The mutant Skrulls (more) (again)
  • Cadre K
  • Categories of mutants
  • How to beta test an Armageddon machine
  • Alpha nerd Charles Xavier
  • Weaponized continuity
  • The color(s) of Cyclops’s eyes
  • How to evoke Uncanny X-Men #137
  • An unfortunate twist
  • Mundane uses of superpowers
  • The Altar
  • What would have improved the Twelve

NEXT EPISODE: Winter Special!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 471 – Eyebrows and Powers (The Twelve, Part One)

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Which of our lucky contestants will make it into… The Twelve? (Uncanny X-Men #376)
The exceptionally ripped man he is today. (Uncanny X-Men #376)
Well, it beats breaking up with a text message… maybe? (Uncanny X-Men #376)
The costume so rad Jubilee would remember it existed and start wearing it on the regular years later when she became a vampire! (Uncanny X-Men #376)
…He says that during sex too, doesn’t he? (Uncanny X-Men #376)
Havok-hat versus fez: fight! (Uncanny X-Men #376)
“Why hello up there, Nate and Little Nate!” (Cable #75)
Angry faces! (Cable #75)
Angry faces, continued! (Cable #75)
Not gonna lie, that’s legitimately badass. (Cable #75)
WHO PUT THAT THERE?! (Cable #75)
En Sabah Snake (Cable #75)
Now kiss! (Cable #75)
Survival of the Toothiest (Cable #75)
Black Friday shopping gets worse every year. (X-Men #96)
“…if you know what I mean.” (X-Men #96)
Aww, c’mon, Scott – Fiz is just happy to be here! (X-Men #96)
Say what you will about Apocalypse, but he does design some pretty excellent costumes. (X-Men #96)
I really dig this take on Storm’s cape. (X-Men #96)
Hi Rory! Sorry about your, uh, everything! (X-Men #96)
Dear Alan Davis: please keep drawing Nightcrawler forever. (X-Men #96)
We just love this guy. (X-Men #96)
NEXT TIME: The Twelve continues!

471 – Eyebrows and Powers (The Twelve: Part One)

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Survival of the Toothiest (Cable #75)

In which we begin our coverage of The Twelve; Scott and Jean get sucked back in AGAIN; Apocalypse probably doesn’t tip; and we have become awfully fond of Cable.

X-PLAINED:

  • A codename that deviates from common patterns
  • The story so far
  • Uncanny X-Men #376
  • Cable #75
  • X-Men #96
  • Fiz the Skrull (again)
  • The Twelve
  • Foreshadowing, both accurate and otherwise
  • The Living Monolith (more) (again)
  • That one font
  • Time-travel logic
  • Cable vs. eyes
  • Fabian Cortez (more) (again)
  • A trap
  • Why the Twelve are the Twelve
  • The evolution of Cable

NEXT EPISODE: The Twelve continues!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 462 – Angst and Continuity

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Oh, that can’t be good. (Generation X #55)
Well, shit. (Generation X #55)
Cold, Emma. (Generation X #55)
Ew, but also awesome. (Generation X #56)
FUCK YEAH EMMA FROST (Generation X #56)
Aw. (Generation X #56)
She’s evil, but damn does she have an eye for fashion. (Generation X #56)
Propellor beanie! (Generation X #57)
You really, really can’t. (Generation X #57)
Bobert Drake, straight heterosexual. (Generation X #57)
The queen of the goths! (Generation X #57)
We did not describe Skin’s outfit in the podcast because frankly, words do not do it justice. (Generation X #57)
TBH, this is how most of our school dances ended, too. (Generation X #57)
NEXT EPISODE: The secret origins of Gambit’s fart ghost girlfriend!

462 – Angst and Continuity

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In which the 1990s were very long; if you die in the simulation, you die in real life; Adrienne Frost is a bad person with good clothes; we judge the number 57; things just keep happening; and Penance somehow gets even more complicated.

X-PLAINED:

  • Bevatron
  • Generation X #55-57
  • The Hellions and their untimely demise (again)
  • Uncanny X-Men #281
  • A continuity conundrum
  • Many allusions and references
  • Cognitive dissonance
  • Dancing between the raindrops of continuity
  • Resolution
  • Emma Frost, triumphant
  • Fashion
  • Emplate (more) (again)
  • Propeller beanies
  • Feelings
  • Explosions
  • One way to solve a problem
  • Whether you should read Dazzler: The Movie
  • The worst possible power swaps

NEXT EPISODE: The secret origins of Gambit’s fart ghost girlfriend!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 450 – Live at the Clinton Street Theater

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A smooth criminal. (Uncanny X-Men #428)
X-Men: First Class: The Draco (Uncanny X-Men #428)
Well, then. (Uncanny X-Men #428)
I love that Wolverine tries to stop nude Nightcrawler from stealing the plane by throwing a beer can at it. (Uncanny X-Men #429)
You’d think he could at least let the cafeteria staff know he was planning on sleeping in there. (Uncanny X-Men #429)
Annie, no. (Uncanny X-Men #429)
This Hell sucks. (Uncanny X-Men #431)
And then Mystique flew violently out of a child’s abdomen, in one of the less bizarre scenes in this story arc. (Uncanny X-Men #431)
Dinner in Hell. (Uncanny X-Men #432)
*grumble grumble Daimon Hellstrom grumble* (Uncanny X-Men #432)
So, that happened. (Uncanny X-Men #433)
Either, really. (Uncanny X-Men #434)
Ginniyeh is the only remotely adequate demon in this arc. (Uncanny X-Men #434)
Awkward. (Uncanny X-Men #434)
NEXT EPISODE: Business as usual.

LINKS & FURTHER NONSENSE

450 – Live at the Clinton Street Theater

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In which we celebrate our tenth anniversary by X-Plaining what may be the most reviled X-arc; you should not try this at home; Mystique is so much better than this story; Azazel is a really boring devil; Nightcrawler should probably be missing a hand; the Xavier School definitely does not have an HR department; and we would prefer that you not pee on Iceman.

X-PLAINED:

  • Nightcrawler’s (most recent) parentage
  • Uncanny X-Men #428-434
  • X-Men Blue: Origins #1
  • The X-Men, like, in general
  • Nightcrawler (Kurt Wagner)
  • Some narrative choices
  • Mystique
  • Baron Christian Wagner
  • Marvel Europe
  • Azazel
  • Church sex
  • Nightstreaker
  • Isla des Demonas
  • Foibles of Warren Kenneth Worthington III
  • Annie and Carter Ghazikhanian
  • Abyss
  • Kiwi Black
  • The Cheyarafim and Neyaphem
  • Bad times with psychic therapy
  • Post-traumatic supervillainy
  • Uncool Hell
  • A miracle of magnetism
  • The only cool thing in Uncool Hell
  • A very elegant retcon
  • X-Muppets
  • Characters who deserve more page space
  • Miles’s favorite X-Person
  • What the Worthington Corporation does
  • A character who could reasonably be Azazel’s kid

NEXT EPISODE: Back to X-business as usual!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 437 – Dismember the Titans

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“Hot Topic Rennfaire” was a somewhat controversial choice for X-Force’s prom theme. (X-Force #85)
I’m impressed Pandemonia is so well put-together after 600 years in captivity! I was wearing pajama pants by day three of the pandemic. (X-Force #85)
“I’ll never forget that day… Rusty was inexplicably blonde, I was in a costume I wouldn’t have for months, and all was right in the world.” (X-Force #85)
You can tell Sam and Dani are in great shape: they’re having a conversation about feelings and continuity during a run while most of us couldn’t manage more than “*wheeze* *cough*” (X-Force #85)
“This place seems different! Did somebody replace a lamp or something?” (X-Force #85)
…How long have they been posing like that? (X-Force #85)
Nice fight scene, Angel Unzueta! (X-Force #85)
As distinct from prolific video game voice actress Jennifer Hale! (X-Force #85)
Say it, Dani! Focused totality… you know the next part… (X-Force #85)
“We’re here to cast glamours and rock out for Satan, and we’re all out of glamours!” (X-Force #85)
Pictured: Hades in disguise, Hades’s girlfriend, and Hades’s surprisingly detailed and colorful statue of Hades. (X-Force & Champions Annual 1998)
It’s no Larry Stroman crowd scene, but still, pretty great! (X-Force & Champions Annual 1998)
Cannonball wants to axe Meltdown what she was thinking. (X-Force & Champions Annual 1998)
“Well, at least it’s not a, you know.” (X-Force & Champions Annual 1998)
To Meltdown’s credit, that lady does seem like she’s about to take a bite out of Cannonball. (X-Force & Champions Annual 1998)
“Why were we the members of this team? Well, we happened to all be free on a Tuesday.” (X-Force & Champions Annual 1998)
Magic! Flirtation! Fonts! (X-Force & Champions Annual 1998)
“Happy tenth high school reunion, everybody!” (X-Force & Champions Annual 1998)
Now THAT’S playing the long game. (X-Force & Champions Annual 1998)
Don’t feel bad, I always mix them up with the Defenders too. (X-Force & Champions Annual 1998)
NEXT TIME: A very Wolverine Wolverine story.

437 – Dismember the Titans

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“Hot Topic Rennfaire” was a somewhat controversial choice for X-Force’s prom theme. (X-Force #85)

In which the overlap between Rocky Horror and ‘90s X-Force fans is probably pretty significant; Pandemonia has priorities; the warehouse gets an evil, sexy glowup; swears are great; Johnny Blaze’s motorcycle probably shouldn’t still be on fire; and there is no single definitive X-Men experience.

X-PLAINED:

  • Master Pandemonium
  • X-Force #85
  • X-Force/Champions Annual 1998
  • What X-Force has been up to lately
  • The regrettable absence of Doctor Doom
  • Possession
  • Community
  • Cougars (euphemistic)
  • The thrift cycle
  • Rusty Collins on Krakoa
  • Fashion
  • An eons-old accord between the Houses of Chaos and the Lord of Valhalla
  • Jennifer Kale
  • The list
  • Swears
  • A statue of Hades
  • Various appendages sticking out of the earth
  • Hercules
  • The mystic power of sarcasm
  • The greatest fear of a Titan
  • Monet St. Croix vs. the Count of Monte Cristo
  • Good X-books for your fifteen-year-old niece

NEXT EPISODE: Wolverine vs. Vampires (again)!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!