Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

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As Mentioned in Episode 439 – Fishfic

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A very loud search party. (Uncanny X-Men #362)
Stooges in shorts. (Uncanny X-Men #362)
The Continuing Saga of Gambit & the Gassy Lady. (Uncanny X-Men #362)
Storm and Marrow have their best conversations while fucking up automobiles. (Uncanny X-Men #362)
*Driving rock intro* (Uncanny X-Men #362)
Gassy ladies, fire ladies… It hard to be Gambit. (Uncanny X-Men #362)
This version of Cerebro doesn’t require telepathy to use, but it does require a cute outfit. (Uncanny X-Men #362)
In medias swamp-rat. (X-Men #82)
He has agreed to take me / To the ice hotel from the magazine (X-Men #82)
Whoa indeed, Keanu. (X-Men #82)
You’ve all had that dream too, right? (X-Men #82)
Clockwise from top-left: blood, black bile, phlegm, yellow bile. (X-Men #82)
I have no idea what kind of metal band Cerebro fronts, but I would listen to them. (X-Men #82)
I miss Toad’s too-many-Liefeldian-teeth look, but this one’s pretty great. (Uncanny X-Men #363)
Maybe the post-Fall era of X-Men will finally explain what Wolverine smelled. (Uncanny X-Men #363)
Cerebro’s other outfit. (Uncanny X-Men #363)
What’s… what’s happening here?! (Uncanny X-Men #363)
Shoulda just complimented her classic fedora-‘n’-trenchcoat look. (Uncanny X-Men #363)
Meanwhile, in the margins of a Wolverine one-shot… (Uncanny X-Men #363)
Somewhat new, somewhat different. (Uncanny X-Men #363)
NEXT TIME: 2 Hunt 2 Xavier

439 – Fishfic

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In which we reach the beginning of an end; Jay totally forgot Gambit was there; we’re all living in the Mary Purcelliverse; the X-Men split the party; and we explore The Bay Area’s Bohemian Hotbed of Student Anarchy.

X-PLAINED:

  • Mary Purcell (sort of)
  • The re-defaulting of the X-Men
  • Uncanny X-Men #362-323
  • X-Men #82
  • Nebraska
  • Pyro (Saint John Allerdyce) and his endless illness
  • Legacy Virus variations
  • Going home again
  • Running back and forth in quarries
  • Marrow, who’s come a long way
  • The two forms of fire: skeleton monsters and sexy ladies
  • Cerebro (the evil one)
  • San Francisco and Tajikinistan
  • Asphalt ball pits
  • A topsy-turvy nonsensical impossible hell
  • Nina the Mannite
  • Desire, love, loss, and fear
  • Skulls and spines
  • The New (New) Brotherhood of Mutants
  • Cerebrites Alpha and Beta
  • A lost, smelly fish
  • Ambiguous art
  • Blood, sweat, and fears
  • Which mutants would cause the most chaos at holiday gatherings
  • Hopes for post-Fall society

NEXT EPISODE: 2 Hunt 2 Xavier

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 384 – The Banality of Evil

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Chris Bradley’s problems include the legacy virus, bigotry, and whatever the hell is going on with his head. (X-Men Unlimited #15)
Ouch. (X-Men Unlimited #15)
You’re a good pal, Maverick. (X-Men Unlimited #15)
AUGH (X-Men Unlimited #15)
Friends of Humanity should not be this over-the-top. (X-Men Unlimited #15)
It’s the Marvel Mutant Sex Web! (X-Men Unlimited #15)
Caliban plays Chopin. (X-Force #65)
Check out that ruffled tux shirt! (X-Force #65)
Mimic has absorbed the powers of the original five X-Men, including Angel’s perpetual toplessness. (X-Force #65)
Definitely Not Disney World (TM). (X-Force #66)
See, this is why I don’t go to theme parks. (X-Force #66)
Meet Sledge. (X-Force #66)
NEXT EPISODE: Strong Guy wakes up!

LINKS & FURTHER AMUSEMENTS:

384 – The Banality of Evil

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In which it’s hard to be a mutant post-Onslaught; two Chrises make friends; X-Force goes to off-brand Disney World; we are Team Risque; and you can go to the punch dimension but probably shouldn’t stay long.

X-PLAINED:

  • X-Men Unlimited #15
  • X-Force #65-66
  • Mutant life post-Onslaught
  • Spinning editorial oversight into story
  • Weasel, Jumbo, and Headcase
  • How not to write the Friends of Humanity
  • The Marvel sex web
  • Thunderbird (John Proudstar)
  • Warpath (James Proudstar)
  • Risque (Gloria Munoz)
  • Clubbing with Risque
  • Wacky World
  • Sledge
  • Dani Moonstar, Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D.
  • The punch dimension
  • The physics of ice ramps

NEXT EPISODE: Strong Guy wakes up!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 275 – End of the Summer

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
HI, PROSH. (X-Force #39)
Look at this charming weirdo. (X-Force #39)
You see what I mean about the frolicking? (X-Force #39)
Damn skippy! (X-Force #39)
Well, that can’t be good. (X-Force #39)
I’M NOT CRYING YOU’RE CRYING (X-Force #39)
This whole issue has a very Looney Toons vibe. (X-Factor #107)
It’s good that they can find common ground. (X-Factor #107)
Gravity: she’s a harsh mistress. (X-Factor #107)
Again: I really love the way the art here leans into Strong Guy’s inherent cartoonishness. (X-Factor #107)
Ouch. (X-Factor #107)
That cover! (Uncanny X-Men #318)
The choker really does seem to have an extra layer of symbolism, especially considering the color vs. the rest of her outfit. (Uncanny X-Men #318)
You tried, buddy. (Uncanny X-Men #318)
Serious X-Terminators vibes, right? (Uncanny X-Men #318)
“But, y’know, good luck with that.” (Uncanny X-Men #318)
She’s not wrong, Warren. (Uncanny X-Men #318)
…it works, though. (Uncanny X-Men #318)
NEXT EPISODE: The Soul Sword Trilogy!

LINKS & FURTHER CRYPTIDS:

275 – End of the Summer

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Professor is too cool for the Phalanx; fatphobia is significantly more dangerous than Fred Dukes; Strong Guy catches a plane; Emma Frost will not let you coast; Jubilee says goodbye to the X-Men; and it’s probably for the best that we have avoided corporate advertisers.

X-PLAINED:

  • Mr. M
  • Thor: Metal Gods
  • Ship (more) (again)
  • The Phalanx vs. the Borg
  • Several cover homages
  • X-Force #39
  • X-Factor #107
  • Uncanny X-Men #318
  • Prosh
  • The myriad delights of embodiment
  • A complex theory about Leprechauns
  • Benefits of single-issue stories
  • Strong Guy vs. the Blob
  • Strong Guy vs. Gravity
  • Strong Guy vs. an airplane
  • Strong Guy vs. biology
  • Several explosions
  • The kids of Generation X
  • Deluxe-format comics
  • The Xavier Institute for Higher Learning
  • Goodbyes
  • Dazzler’s relative immortality
  • Jay’s X-Men Happy Meal Toy wish list
  • How to make a page-accurate Warlock toy

NEXT EPISODE: The Soul Sword Trilogy

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 208 – The X-Patriots

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Prodigal Was Right. (X-Factor #81)
No matter how many times I look at this, I still imagine this dude moving like tumbleweed. (X-Factor #82)
HEY, LOOK, MARVEL GOT A NEW LICENSE! (X-Factor #82)
Havok: Actually a reasonably good boss! (X-Factor #82)
I spent a LOT of time googling jaw injuries to try to figure out what the hell the hardware on Lorna’s face is supposed to be. Verdict: IT’S A MYSTERY. (X-Factor #82)
Live your best life, Toad. (X-Factor #82)
The fastest withering insults in the West. (X-Factor #82)
The new Phantazia.
THIS IS A VALID CONCERN. (X-Factor #82)
(It’s okay; Sam’s fine and possibly immortal.) (X-Factor #82)
Remember like five pages ago when it was a big deal that Lorna’s jaw was wired shut? (X-Factor #82)
I feel you, Lukas. (X-Factor #83)
Oh, this is gonna be awkward. (X-Factor #83)
WELL THAT ESCALATED QUICKLY. (X-Factor #83)
They’re going to bond over how much they hate everyone else. (X-Factor #83)
I’m still trying to figure this out. Maybe mutate children are artificially physically matured as part of the mutate process? (X-Factor #83)
Stairs are funny. (X-Factor #83)
Sure, why not? (X-Factor #83)
Aw, they’re best friends now. Because they’re both jerks. (X-Factor #83)
Poor Zachary. (X-Factor #83)
He’ll be okay, but this storyline is not going to get resolved until after X-Cutioner’s Song. (X-Factor #83)
Rick Chalker, on the other hand, will definitely not be okay. (X-Factor #83)
NEXT EPISODE: X-Editor Jordan D. White!

LINKS & FURTHER ENRICHMENT:

208 – The X-Patriots

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which nobody wears the pants in the X-Plain family; Havok is a remarkably okay boss; Polaris may want to find a new doctor; Quicksilver has no time for your nonsense; we are very conditionally okay with resurrections; and if you spoil Season 5 of Steven Universe for Miles, we will never ever ever forgive you.

X-PLAINED:

  • Jay & Miles at FlameCon
  • Advantages of recording remotely
  • X-Factor #81-83
  • What Genosha’s been up to
  • Prodigal
  • An impassioned speech
  • An unfortunate accident
  • Yet another return(ish) of Sauron
  • Chain of command
  • Lukas
  • Pirouette
  • Yet another justification for the name of the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants
  • Phantazia (again)
  • Immovable vs. unstoppable
  • What you do on a boat
  • Taylor
  • When Havok still cared
  • “The Mutant Rap”
  • Adventures in New York
  • How to bond with Quicksilver
  • An angry mob
  • A derailed storyline
  • The ignominious death of Rick Chalker
  • Our opinions on the revolving door of death
  • X-Men vs. electronics
  • Superheroes from the Balkans
  • Theoretical X-Men and Steven Universe team-ups

NEXT EPISODE: X-Editor Jordan D. White!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 195 – Johnny Got His Robot Arm

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
LOOK AT ALL THOSE POUCHES. (X-Force #8)
And now for something completely different. (X-Force #8)
Fun fact: You can drop this dialogue into almost any panel involving Cable and at least one other character, and it’ll still work. (X-Force #8)
On one hand: Mignola is great. On the other hand: I have some questions about the decision to just straight-up draw Garrison Kane as Marlon Brando. (X-Force #8)
Aw, A.I.M., you wacky kids. (X-Force #8)
Cable’s sense of drama is ON POINT. (X-Force #8)
Domino is pretty genre-aware. (X-Force #9)
Not gonna lie: I dig Liefeld’s take on Blob. (X-Force #9)
If you weren’t imagining Feral’s line in the voice of a 10-year-old Danny Tamberelli, congratulations: you are now. (X-Force #9)
‘Kay. (X-Force #9)
And that, kids, is why balloon placements matter. (I mean, there are a lot of other reasons, too. But this is one of them.) (X-Force #9)
Stryfe’s armor doesn’t just have nipples. Stryfe’s armor has FOUR nipples. (X-Force #10)
Nothing is okay about this picture. (X-Force #10)
Speaking of likenesses, remember the time Cannonball was David Bowie? (X-Force #10)
NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur vs. the Anti-Phoenix!

LINKS & FURTHER READING

195 – Johnny Got His Robot Arm

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Jay may have Stockholm syndrome; Nick Fury is objectively sillier than G. W. Bridge; we get a brief artistic reprieve; Cable’s legal expertise does not extend to trademarks; our favorite Ship returns; Miles’s grandmother calls it like it is; Sauron is bad at taxonomy; and Garrison Kane is basically a very violent Inspector Gadget.

X-PLAINED:

  • Brother Mutant
  • X-Force #8-10
  • X-Force (again)
  • A protracted flashback
  • The Wild and/or Six Pack
  • A heist
  • A trap
  • Yet more Ed Wood references
  • A future
  • The Professor (Ship)
  • Gratuitous face shadows
  • A mystery
  • Cable casting
  • Several misplaced word balloons
  • The logistics of tentacle arms
  • The High Lords (Externals)
  • Michael Bay’s Johnny Got His Gun
  • General Clark and his diving suit
  • Good Magneto stories
  • How to get your dad into X-Men

NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur vs. the Anti-Phoenix!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)