Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: Black Widow

As Mentioned in Episode 437 – Dismember the Titans

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“Hot Topic Rennfaire” was a somewhat controversial choice for X-Force’s prom theme. (X-Force #85)
I’m impressed Pandemonia is so well put-together after 600 years in captivity! I was wearing pajama pants by day three of the pandemic. (X-Force #85)
“I’ll never forget that day… Rusty was inexplicably blonde, I was in a costume I wouldn’t have for months, and all was right in the world.” (X-Force #85)
You can tell Sam and Dani are in great shape: they’re having a conversation about feelings and continuity during a run while most of us couldn’t manage more than “*wheeze* *cough*” (X-Force #85)
“This place seems different! Did somebody replace a lamp or something?” (X-Force #85)
…How long have they been posing like that? (X-Force #85)
Nice fight scene, Angel Unzueta! (X-Force #85)
As distinct from prolific video game voice actress Jennifer Hale! (X-Force #85)
Say it, Dani! Focused totality… you know the next part… (X-Force #85)
“We’re here to cast glamours and rock out for Satan, and we’re all out of glamours!” (X-Force #85)
Pictured: Hades in disguise, Hades’s girlfriend, and Hades’s surprisingly detailed and colorful statue of Hades. (X-Force & Champions Annual 1998)
It’s no Larry Stroman crowd scene, but still, pretty great! (X-Force & Champions Annual 1998)
Cannonball wants to axe Meltdown what she was thinking. (X-Force & Champions Annual 1998)
“Well, at least it’s not a, you know.” (X-Force & Champions Annual 1998)
To Meltdown’s credit, that lady does seem like she’s about to take a bite out of Cannonball. (X-Force & Champions Annual 1998)
“Why were we the members of this team? Well, we happened to all be free on a Tuesday.” (X-Force & Champions Annual 1998)
Magic! Flirtation! Fonts! (X-Force & Champions Annual 1998)
“Happy tenth high school reunion, everybody!” (X-Force & Champions Annual 1998)
Now THAT’S playing the long game. (X-Force & Champions Annual 1998)
Don’t feel bad, I always mix them up with the Defenders too. (X-Force & Champions Annual 1998)
NEXT TIME: A very Wolverine Wolverine story.

437 – Dismember the Titans

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“Hot Topic Rennfaire” was a somewhat controversial choice for X-Force’s prom theme. (X-Force #85)

In which the overlap between Rocky Horror and ‘90s X-Force fans is probably pretty significant; Pandemonia has priorities; the warehouse gets an evil, sexy glowup; swears are great; Johnny Blaze’s motorcycle probably shouldn’t still be on fire; and there is no single definitive X-Men experience.

X-PLAINED:

  • Master Pandemonium
  • X-Force #85
  • X-Force/Champions Annual 1998
  • What X-Force has been up to lately
  • The regrettable absence of Doctor Doom
  • Possession
  • Community
  • Cougars (euphemistic)
  • The thrift cycle
  • Rusty Collins on Krakoa
  • Fashion
  • An eons-old accord between the Houses of Chaos and the Lord of Valhalla
  • Jennifer Kale
  • The list
  • Swears
  • A statue of Hades
  • Various appendages sticking out of the earth
  • Hercules
  • The mystic power of sarcasm
  • The greatest fear of a Titan
  • Monet St. Croix vs. the Count of Monte Cristo
  • Good X-books for your fifteen-year-old niece

NEXT EPISODE: Wolverine vs. Vampires (again)!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 406 – The Most Dangerous Mini-Game

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So, that’s where he got it! (Wolverine #-1)
I love this design for Sabretooth. (Wolverine #-1)
And also his car. (Wolverine #-1)
Literally nothing is okay at the Blanding/Masters house. (X-Factor #-1)
Mister Sinister lurks in the bushes. (X-Factor #-1)
They’re AT LEAST in their early 20s. (X-Factor #-1)
DAMN, Haley! (X-Factor #-1)
The most dangerous mini-game. (X-Factor #-1)
Alex Summers in a nutshell. (X-Factor #-1)
Wellp, you did that. (X-Force #-1)
I swear I thought this thing was gonna be a red herring. (X-Force #-1)
Everything cute about this issue is also really sad. (X-Force #-1)
How Thunderbird got his code name. (X-Force #-1)
Don’t worry, Tabby; soon you’ll be stealing with the best of ’em! (X-Force #-1)
The Circus of Cameos. (X-Force #-1)
In which John Produstar straight-up wrassles a tiger. (X-Force #-1)
“We also do a lot of crimes, but they’re pretty low-key as comic-book circus crimes go.” (X-Force #-1)
Ugh, this guy. (X-Force #-1)
Naked in Space: The Charles Francis Xavier Story. (X-Men #-1)
Magneto, a sensible fellow, wears clothes in the vacuum of space. (X-Men #-1)
IT NEVER STOPS BEING FUNNY (X-Men #-1)
DRAMATIC! JUXTAPOSITION! (X-Men #-1)
NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor hits rock-bottom, again.

LINKS & FURTHER READING

406 – The Most Dangerous Mini-Game

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In which we disagree about the value of Stan Lee intros; everybody wants Wolverine; Mister Sinister lurks; Haley Blanding deserves better; Thunderbird fights a tiger; and Xavier and Magneto do their usual thing.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Circus of Crime
  • Stan Lee intros
  • Wolverine #-1
  • X-Factor #-1
  • X-Force #-1
  • X-Men #-1
  • Proust vs. Sartre
  • How Logan joined Alpha Flight
  • The secret origin of the word “canucklehead.”
  • USDA, Annex B
  • Myron MacLain
  • Logan’s cigars
  • Yet more continuity errors
  • Sabretooth’s ridiculous car
  • The balance of scary and silly
  • Wolverine’s cowboy hat
  • Summers family bullshit
  • The Blandings and/or Masterses
  • Vince
  • The Proudstar family
  • One or more cats named Coyote
  • The origin of Thunderbird’s totem
  • Edwin Martynec (again)
  • Chondu the Magician
  • Ringmaster
  • Yet more Xavier and Magneto flashback drama
  • The bottom of the resurrection queue
  • Good car-trip episodes

NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor continues to make poor decisions

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 352 – Onslog

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Still not really seeing the “ebon” part of “ebon citadel,” but whatever. (The Incredible Hulk #445)
I always appreciate details like this. (The Incredible Hulk #445)
Ouch. (The Incredible Hulk #445)
It’s like that thing where you don’t hear your cat coming in and then it’s RIGHT THERE STARING AT YOU. (Invincible Iron Man #332)
Those are… certainly some sound effects. (Invincible Iron Man #332)
It’s not a whole fancy suit, but I guess it’ll do. (Invincible Iron Man #332)
Hats all around! (Invincible Iron Man #332)
Look at them, all action-y. (Avengers #402)
Sucks to be the dude who has to both accurately assess the situation AND keep everyone’s spirits up! (Avengers #402)
SO THERE. (Avengers #402)
SO MUCH HEROISM IN ONE PAGE (Avengers #402)
NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk
NEXT EPISODE: Additional Onslaught!

LINKS & FURTHER CHOREOGRAPHY

352 – Onslog

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Onslaught: Phase 2 does not live up to the promise of Phase 1; Hulk is not the most trustworthy individual; Miles is his own best audience; Sentinels know their continuity; and true heroism is scored by James Horner.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Phoenix Five
  • Onslaught thus far
  • The Incredible Hulk #445
  • Invincible Iron Man #332
  • Avengers #402
  • Pea Soup Hulk
  • Falcon’s late cousin Jim
  • The word “ebon”
  • Tunneling logistics
  • An uncomfortable lesson
  • Immortal Hulk and why you should be reading it
  • Fancy hats
  • Science Made Stupid
  • Teen Tony Stark (more) (again)
  • Sneaking
  • Onslaught’s best epithet
  • The sound of heroism
  • Thor’s “shirt”
  • Headgear

NEXT EPISODE: Additional Onslaught!

Check out the visual companion to this episode over on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 239 – Rap and Rumble (feat. Max Carleton)

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Awkward Family Portraits: The Avengers Edition (Avengers #368)
Nick, no. (Avengers #368)
The Avengers were not always Marvel’s A-List team. (Avengers #368)
TFW your kid gets replaced by a shapeshifter and then explodes. (Avengers #368)
“Mr. Agent” BWAHAHAHAHA (Avengers #368)
Trolling Henry Peter Gyrich is the real superheroism. (Avengers #368)
“Just like Dracula would.” (Avengers #368)
Oh, hey, it’s the yelling disembodied head of Charles Xavier! (Avengers #368)
Everyone else is rushing into battle; and there’s Cap, just, like, “FORGET THIS I’M GONNA FIGHT THE SKY” (X-Men #26)
Good work, Mr. Agent. (X-Men #26)
Avengers West Coast #101
Hawkeye should enter every room this way. (Avengers West Coast #101)
Genosha: Still the Goddamn Worst. (Avengers West Coast #101)
Did they, though? I kind of suspect he named himself that. (Uncanny X-Men #307)
The cover IS the trading card. (Avengers #69)
1993 seems like a little late to have two yelling Xavier heads in one story, but you do you.(Avengers #69)
Well, he sure pontificates like Magneto. (Avengers #69)
And yet, he won’t be out for another decade and change. (Avengers #69)
NEXT EPISODE: Live at Emerald City Comic Con, with Vita Ayala, Seanan McGuire, and Leah Williams!

LINKS & FURTHER MAXIMOFFS:

 

 

239 – Rap and Rumble (feat. Max Carleton)

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we enter the era of bomber jackets; the covers are the cards; Genosha remains neither green nor pleasant; the A is for “Avengers,” not “A-list”; Henry Peter Gyrich is the straightest of men; Cyclops sets an important precedent; Exodus is a huge jerk; we speculate about movies we have definitely not seen; Stephen Strange is not a qualified OBGYN; the Avengers are really weird even by our standards; and Max manages to connect two of Marvel’s most complicated family trees.

X-PLAINED:

  • One way to name babies
  • Blood Ties
  • Infinite bomber jackets
  • Avengers #368-369
  • X-Men #26
  • Avengers West Coast #101
  • Uncanny X-Men #307
  • Several very fancy covers
  • A shadow government, but not that kind of shadow government
  • Genosha (more) (again)
  • The Avengers, as of 1993
  • A special delegation
  • The Genoshan resistance
  • U.S. Agent
  • A time Cyclops told someone other than Dracula to follow their heart
  • The many belts of Nicholas Fury
  • Several members of the Maximoff family (more) (again)
  • Black Knight (Dane Whitman)
  • Sersi
  • A very drawn-out fight
  • Roy Thomas dialogue
  • The racist icing on the racist cake
  • Exodus (Bennet du Paris)
  • Diplomacy, kind of
  • Apolitical avenging
  • Magneto’s dream
  • A green and pleasant beverage
  • Yet another energy-dome-enclosed crisis
  • The giant, angry disembodied head of Charles Xavier
  • What is definitely the actual plot of the Purge movies
  • The surprisingly torrid private lives of the Maximoffs
  • Scarlet Witch and Vision’s kids
  • Master Pandemonium and his weird baby hands
  • Damian Hellstrom
  • How we’d handle Magneto’s family in modern Marvel
  • Robopaternity
  • A possible link between the Summers and Maximoff families

NEXT EPISODE: Live at Emerald City Comic Con, with Vita Ayala, Seanan McGuire, and Leah Williams!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 151 – Czars of Kung Fu

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Art by David Wynne. Contact David to purchase the original!
WELL, THEN. (Uncanny X-Men #264)
“Also, we think they might be slightly evil.” (Uncanny X-Men #264)
Seriously, though, THEY ARE NEVER GOING TO MENTION THE TENTACLES AGAIN. (Uncanny X-Men #264)
But can it teach aerobics? I DON’T THINK SO. (Uncanny X-Men #264)
Wolverine WWII flashbacks are usually pretty fun. (Uncanny X-Men #268)
No, YOU ship it. (Uncanny X-Men #268)
Her hair is so great, though. (Uncanny X-Men #268)
How can one character be so awesome? It seems kind of unfair. (Uncanny X-Men #268)
Don’t fuck with Seraph. She’ll kick your ass and leave you with a blood debt to Viper. (Uncanny X-Men #268)
“Look, it was this or leather pants.” (Uncanny X-Men #268)
It’s fair to assume that whatever Jubilee is doing in the background is roughly a million times more entertaining than whatever’s going on in the A-plot. (Uncanny X-Men #268)
Jim Lee cocktail dresses, topped off with Jim Lee hair. (Uncanny X-Men #268)
It was REALLY HARD to not make this whole visual companion nothing but Jubilee. I hope you appreciate my restraint. (Uncanny X-Men #268)
Remember that time Cap made an awkward pass at Wolverine? (Uncanny X-Men #268)
Come for the broken spine; stay for spoiling the surprise twist! (And yet, somehow, we still love this cover.) (Uncanny X-Men #269)
If I had a dollar for every day I’ve woken up like this… (Uncanny X-Men #269)
In which Jim Lee does a pretty solid Barry Windsor Smith. (Uncanny X-Men #269)
“Now put on some damn pants and fight me!” (Uncanny X-Men #269)
“But you’re… you’re so evil! And sexy!” (Uncanny X-Men #269)
Well, that explains a thing or two. (Uncanny X-Men #269)
It’s really not the Savage Land without a sexy montage. (Uncanny X-Men #269)
Okay. This looks bad. (Uncanny X-Men #269)
It’s easy to make fun of this page, but at the same time, it’s really damn cool. (Uncanny X-Men #269)
Lila Cheney: falls into the heart of a sun, comes back more stylin’ than ever! (Uncanny X-Men #269)
NEXT EPISODE: Days of Future Present!

LINKS & FURTHER READING

151 – Czars of Kung Fu

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Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

Art by David Wynne. Contact David to purchase the original!

In which Laura easily is worth a dozen Old Mans Logan; Charlotte Jones is the EveryCop; Genosha remains a fairly versatile allegory; Hydra are totally Nazis; Jubilee gets the best sound effects; Rogue has a bad day; and it’ll take more than a sun to stop Lila Cheney.

X-PLAINED:

  • Graydon Creed
  • Logan oversaturation (more) (again)
  • Uncanny X-Men #264, 268, 269
  • A somewhat convoluted status quo
  • Death by Derrida
  • New York’s sewers (kind of) (maybe)
  • The Misty Knight rule
  • Jackets of the ’90s
  • Cap’s cape
  • Mustache metaphysics
  • The Press Gang (again)
  • VR.5
  • The Doctrine of Hot Pursuit
  • Dazzler, in handy grenade form
  • A prescient scenario
  • Jim Lee signature cocktail dresses
  • A dubious approach to first aid
  • Wolverine’s sexy friends
  • Nazi ducks
  • Seraph
  • Ivan Petrovitch
  • Sexy subversion
  • Rogue vs. Carol Danvers
  • Mutants vs. the Terrigen Mists
  • TaXonomy of ambiguously X-characters

NEXT EPISODE: Days of Future Present!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)