In which we have had an eventful year; Longshot is a classic folk hero; writer Kieron Gillen makes a triumphant and mildly terrifying return to the show; and you remain the best listeners of any podcast, ever.
X-PLAINED:
Our tenth birthday party!
2023
Longshot vol. 2 #1
Longshot as a folkloric archetype
Longshot (more) (again)
Dismal Nitch, Washington
The Thingee
Baum, Kansas
Corn
Betty
Barrie, Kansas
The Albony Avenue Sanitarium and several of its residents
Innocence, broadly
The Wuggly Ump, by Edward Gorey
Love
Immortal X-Men
Nathaniel Essex and several significant clones thereof
Defining Mister Sinister
Making Charles Xavier sympathetic
Reset phrases
Eternals
The 10th Annual Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Awards for Excellence at X-Cellence
Many people to whom we are grateful
NEXT EPISODE: X-Men: Liberators
NOTE: If you want to avoid Immortal X-Men spoilers in our interview with Kieron Gillen, you can skip to 01:38:50 for the Corbeau Awards!
Special thanks to:
Matt Hunter
Dylan Higgins
Al Kennedy
Max Carleton
Kieron Gillen
Tea Fougner
Anna Stokes
All of our patrons
All of you listening, always <3
“Sinister Is Cloning This Town” performed by Steve and Erin Pence
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
In which Gossamyr definitely probably doesn’t get blown up; we engage in a long and surprisingly canon-based exploration of Hellfire Club bathroom etiquette; the New Mutants break up with Magneto; you should probably never go swimming in the Marvel Universe; and it is possible (but unlikely) that Jay yells “IMPERIUS REX” more than is strictly necessary.
X-PLAINED
New Son/New Sun
Post-Inferno New Mutants
New Mutants #74-76
Babies
Ship shipping
Inanimate objects Warlock has attempted to befriend
Hellfire Club bathroom etiquette
A long-anticipated showdown
Magneto’s on-again-off-again children
The Mutant Wars
The Grey King (but not The Grey King)
Undersea creatures that have no business near New York
An Atlantean artificat of dubious provenance
How to deter a giant and possibly supernatural octopus
Recycled powers
Friendly sentinels
NOTE: The Dispossessed is in fact by Ursula K. Le Guin.
NEXT EPISODE: Trolls!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Just in case you’ve forgotten, Team America is–inexplicably–still around. (New Mutants #8)
“Not only did I spill my soul to you thinking you didn’t speak English, but it turned out your outfit was also really fucking racist. THANKS, AMARA.” (New Mutants #8)
Well, then. (New Mutants #10)
You do you, Selene. (New Mutants #10)
Magma’s best superpower is her op-art form. (New Mutants #11)
Remember the time the New Mutants straight-up murdered someone? Because that happened. (New Mutants #11)
This better be a Magnum, P.I. reference. (New Mutants #12)
Meanwhile at Project Wideawake, things are not going quote as planned. (New Mutants #13)
Somewhere in the multiverse, there’s a universe that’s exactly like Earth 616 in every way except that Kitty and Doug’s code names are Acid Burn and Zero Cool. (New Mutants #13)
Return of Those Kids at the Mall. (New Mutants #14)
X-MEN! (New Mutants #14)
Have we mentioned that we love Emma Frost? We love Emma Frost. Also: Kitty’s got a new costume. Drink! (New Mutants #16)
“This is even more awkward than the time we walked in on Bobby telling a photo of Magnum, P.I. that he wished he was his real dad.” (New Mutants #16)
Sam Guthrie: Best Kid, or Best Kid? Best Kid. (New Mutants #16)
Amara Aquilla: Horta. (New Mutants #16)
Are the Hellions evil, or just kinda New-Wave? You be the judge! (New Mutants #17)
We cannot overemphasize the extent to which New Mutants is a school drama at this point. (New Mutants #17)
MAGNUM, P.I.! (New Mutants #17)
They may be evil, but they’re not wrong. (New Mutants #17)
We passed your stealth and plainclothes cosplay contest entries along to X-Pert Judge Kris Anka, and he sent us back two winners: Congratulaions to lilpeepeedanceofdoom as plainclothes Gold Balls (you can read more about his costume here), and Elle as stealth Excalibur-era Shadowcat! (We’ll be getting in touch with you shortly with prize details!) Thanks again to contest sponsor TV Store Online, and judge Kris Anka–and be sure to swing by the blog early next week to see a roundup of all the amazing finalists!
Next week: Chekhov’s Raygun, time travel, and tiny shorts!
In which the New Mutants are the Bobbsey Twins to the X-Men’s Sam Spade; Nina da Costa is Ms. Frizzle; New Mutants does a Rachel-and-Miles cold open; Selene is the Elizabeth Bathory of lava; Rahne likes Sam, Sam likes Amara, Dani likes Bobby, and Bobby likes everyone; Gil and Art are no Harvey and Janet; Miles has a Del Preston moment, Magma is a Horta; and if something super happens, you should tell a super adult.
X-Plained:
Selene
Externals
New Mutants #7-17
The da Costa family
Axe
Some really dubious cosmetic choices
Nova Roma
Amara Aquilla (Magma)
Op-art as a superpower
Doug Ramsey’s hair
The Massachusetts Academy
New-Wave Superteens
Deflection
The Hellions
Not-Particularly-Secret Origins of the Hellfire Club
Publishing schedules
Next Week: Lifedeath, time travel, and Forge’s tiny shorts.
You can find a visual companion to the episode – as well as links to recommended reading and the winners of the stealth / plainclothes cosplay contest – on our blog.
Yeah, so, Dani, maybe get a handle on that. (New Mutants #1)
Remember, at this point, as far as everyone on Earth knew, the X-Men were dead. (New Mutants #1)
Oh, Storm. (New Mutants #1)
Meanwhile on Muir Island, REVELATIONS! (New Mutants #1)
“You’re not the X-Men. You’re just, um, wearing their original superhero costumes. Because, stuff.” (New Mutants #1)
OH, SHIT. THOSE GUYS. (New Mutants #1)
Well, that’ll end well. (New Mutants #2)
Gyrich realizes that part of the price of appearing in an X-Men book is occasionally having your conversation partner drop out for an extended inner monologue. (New Mutants #2)
“Son, I know Peter Corbeau, and you’re no Peter Corbeau.” (New Mutants #2)
Mostly including this to point out that FANDOM ZONE is a great name for a comics shop. (New Mutants #2)
FORESHADOWING. (New Mutants #3)
OH, NO! (New Mutants #3)
Aw, Illyana. (New Mutants #3)
Remember that time Bob McLeod drew a full page of a teenager and casual nudity and there was no sexualization whatsoever? Because that was RAD. (New Mutants #3)
Oooh, clever! (New Mutants #3)
Reinforcing the case for X-Men watching Star Trek. (New Mutants #3)
Aw, bros. And Magnum, P.I. For more on what happens next, see Episode 20. (New Mutants #3)
The more things change… (New Mutants #4)
That one time Professor Xavier wasn’t a jerk. (New Mutants #4)
And then the New Mutants just straight-up broke into a school dance. (New Mutants #4)
AW, SAM. (New Mutants #4)
WHY WOULD YOU PUT ALL THAT TNT THERE? WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? (New Mutants #4)
… (New Mutants #4)
ETHICS. (New Mutants #4)
For more on these baffling gentlemen, see the links below.
Well, hello, Viper and Silver Samurai. (New Mutants #5)
Oh! Of course! Team America! Because, um, right, those guys. (New Mutants #5)
‘Kay. (New Mutants #5)
Xavier X-Plains the A-plot. (New Mutants #5)
Wait, what? (New Mutants #5)
Aw, Shan. (New Mutants #6)
Aw, Shan. (New Mutants #6)
Not that Black Mesa. (New Mutants #6)
Well, I think we can all be pretty excited that Team America have finally learned to control their dangerous power of making an extra good motorcycle dude. Dodged a bullet there. (New Mutants #6)
Next Week: NYCC Special, with Russell Dauterman and Kris Anka!
In which Danielle Moonstar is the Wolverine of the New Mutants, Henry Peter Gyrich is the Walter Peck of the Marvel Universe, Michael Rossi is no Peter Corbeau, Xavier is a Brood Queen (who is a jerk), Bob McLeod draws really good teenagers, the New Mutants do an after-school special, Chris Sims drops in for some emergency X-Plaining, Elsie Carson is the Harvey and Janet of Hydra, and Team America is generally sort of baffling.
X-Plained
Viper
Brood stuff
The original New Mutans (more) (again)
The New Mutants #1-6
Denial
Dani vs. the Danger Room
Mall stories
Neighborhood kids
Henry Peter Gyrich
Sebastian Shaw (again)
Project Wideawake (sort of)
Michael Rossi
A poorly-timed crossover
Gabrielle Haller
A profoundly unethical relationship
A Very Special Episode
Overkill
Magnum, P.I.
Team America (but not that one)
Elsie Carson, middle manager of Hydra
The Girl With the Silver Eyes
X-Men reading order
The visual companion for this episode will go up mid-week, due to New York Comic-Con generally kicking our asses (Among MANY other things, Rachel is tweeting–mostly cool X-cosplay pics–from the show floor, and Miles is working at the Dark Horse booth. Come say hi!). Meanwhile, for further supplemental material, we recommend reading Chris’s in-depth history of Team America:
