Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: Bishop

454 – X-Men ’97, Part 2

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SPOILER WARNING: ALL OF THEM, NONSTOP

In which Barry Windsor-Smith is too sexy for television; we know what happens when unstable molecules get struck by lightning; X-Men gets political and does it spectacularly; this Captain America would not sew the cape; Magneto continues to throw things into space; and they kissed and we missed it.

X-PLAINED:

  • Fabian Cortez’s name
  • X-Men ’97 episodes 6-10
  • Lifedeath I & II: a surprising adaptation
  • Varying levels of going in blind
  • A somewhat different and possibly better Forge
  • The Adversary vs. the Owl Queen
  • Stormiest and least-Stormy costumes
  • Professor Charles Xavier, Official Space Boyfriend
  • Colonialism vs. Identity
  • Delayed catharsis
  • The narrative power of altered opening credits
  • What makes allyship effective (and not)
  • Justified mutant anger
  • The worst version of Nina DaCosta
  • What makes Prime Sentinels scary
  • Summers family feels
  • The best damned fight scenes out there
  • Bastion, robo-avatar of conservative white patriarchy
  • Simultaneous crossovers
  • A psychic gay bar
  • A last boss arena
  • Acolyte equivalencies
  • Phoenix Ex Machina
  • Crying
  • Whether Magneto was right
  • Apoca-futures and Apoca-pasts
  • A bulletin board and our hopes for its contents
  • Soft Serve
  • Kitty Pryde’s coffee shop AU
  • X-Men ’97 as the perfect gateway

NEXT EPISODE: Skrulls!

LINKS AND FURTHER READING:

No visual companion this week!

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As Mentioned in Episode 426 – A Gift from the Lower Regions

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Karel’s planet may be far from Earth, but his people still appreciate a good Terminator 2 reference. (Uncanny X-Men #358)
Tu is a very Chris Bachalo character. (Uncanny X-Men #358)
Lookit this pulp hero-looking scallawag! (Uncanny X-Men #358)
They’re so dysfunctional. I love it. (Uncanny X-Men #358)
I TOLD YOU THE BEAR WAS CANON (Uncanny X-Men #358)
Deathbird is horny on main. (Team X 2000)
In the far future of 2018, it will be illegal to cover your navel. (Team X 2000)
It’s not Cable and Domino’s tub, but I suppose it’ll do. (Team X 2000)
Team X! (Team X 2000)
You know it’s a really dark future when Doom is fighting on the same side as the good guys (see also: Age of Apocalypse, the Summers Rebellion). (Team X 2000)
IT’S VERY SEXUAL (Team X 2000)
The more you know! (Team X 2000)
NEXT EPISODE: Domino rejoins X-Force!

426 – A Gift from the Lower Regions

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In which the Shi’ar have zero chill; Bishop and Deathbird do space opera; we travel to the far-future year of 2018; Alanna Nerimani stretches the definition of “bird”; Deathbird is the cool aunt; Bishop needs a break from dark futures; and Bishop and Sauron have an intimate encounter.

X-PLAINED:

  • The current number of Summers brothers
  • Uncanny X-Men #358
  • Team X 2000
  • The Shi’ar Empire (more) (again)
  • Shi’ar voices
  • Parker Posey vs. Posie Parker
  • Sexual dimorphism in art
  • The Ursaa
  • Organs
  • The Chnitt
  • Karel
  • Several cameos
  • Nullifier charges
  • Tu
  • The first appearance of Cyclops’s Captain America teddy bear
  • 2018
  • Alan Smithee
  • Gith
  • Deathbird’s terrible childhood
  • Shi’ar-occupied Earth
  • Alanna Nerimani
  • Your cool murder aunt
  • Earth-9922
  • Deathbird’s war journals
  • The Morlocks (but not those ones)
  • Team X (but not that one)
  • Bribery
  • A very sexual encounter
  • Explorations of disability and ableism in comics
  • Beast’s long, slow heel turn

NEXT EPISODE: Domino rejoins X-Force!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 417 – Pterodactyl with a Gun

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Rogue anxiety dreams like nobody’s business. (Uncanny X-Men #353)
We call this move the “Lois Lane.” (Uncanny X-Men #353)
I love it when people remember that the Xavier School is–at least ostensibly–a real school. (Uncanny X-Men #353)
WOLVERINE, WHAT THE HELL?!? (Uncanny X-Men #353)
Not the best place to hide incredibly sensitive mechanical equipment, y’all. (Uncanny X-Men #353)
This is supposed to be a clever bait-and-switch, but that hand is fairly obviously not Rogue’s. (Uncanny X-Men #353)
He sure is. (Uncanny X-Men #353)
Valid question, buddy. (Uncanny X-Men #354)
Sauron’s current whereabouts, X-Plained. (Uncanny X-Men #354)
Continued from previous. (Uncanny X-Men #354)
Fuckin’ Marvel Canadians. (Uncanny X-Men #355)
Remember answering machines? (Uncanny X-Men #355)
Yes, excellent. (Uncanny X-Men #355)
Hi, brainwashed Alpha Flight! (Uncanny X-Men #355)
This sequence is objectively perfect. (Uncanny X-Men #355)
Jean, you REALLY don’t spring that costume on someone. (Uncanny X-Men #354)
…Fair, though. (Uncanny X-Men #355)
NEXT EPISODE: this whole mess

417 – Pterodactyl with a Gun

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In which you, too, can use Cerebro; Jubilee is here, for some reason; the Xavier School should absolutely not be accredited; Hulk Hands would solve many of Rogue’s problems; Sauron gets a gun; Psylocke pulls a Lois Lane maneuver; you really shouldn’t spring a Phoenix costume on anybody; Joseph has (another) identity crisis; and Canada has problems.

X-PLAINED:

  • Miles at SDCC
  • Uncanny X-Men #353-355
  • X-Men #73
  • A running motif
  • Wolverine’s sons
  • Margaret Stone
  • “fun”
  • The location of the original X-jet
  • A red herring
  • Sauron (more) (again)
  • Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy… in space!
  • How to ship a pterodactyl
  • Mighty appendages
  • The Agee Institute
  • Boundaries
  • Wallpaper
  • Joseph (more) (again)
  • New Year’s Resolutions
  • Sebastian Shaw and his wraith buddy (again)
  • The X-Men’s answering machine
  • What Wolverine does
  • Alpha Flight
  • Canada problems
  • A crossover
  • Phoenix problems
  • Jean Grey’s ‘90s costume
  • Found families
  • What makes the Dark Phoenix Saga an X-Men story

NEXT EPISODE: Reignfire, resolved!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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408 – Yabba Yabba Yabba

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In which Bishop gets another miniseries; splinter timelines make fun narrative sandboxes; the X.S.E. goes detecting; the Statue of Liberty never fares well in dystopian futures; “Booger” is not a name you give yourself; and we can’t believe it’s taken us this long to make a hanky code joke about Bishop.

X-PLAINED:

  • Graymalkin
  • Bishop: X.S.E. #1-3
  • Bishop (more) (again)
  • Earth-1191
  • The X.S.E.
  • Hecate
  • Malcolm
  • Randall
  • The popularity of Earth-1191 miniseries
  • The solid-light hologram of Theseus
  • The Fanatix
  • Pulsar
  • Dogface
  • Hardball
  • Razorback
  • Kali (but not that one)
  • Shadowbox
  • “Quotations”
  • Seldon Trask
  • A mystery
  • The Rook
  • Annabella Knox
  • Anthony Shaw
  • The Bay Borough
  • The best episode of Justice League Unlimited
  • Organic LMDs
  • A disguise
  • An uncanny child
  • Dazzler’s career
  • X-Adjectives

NEXT EPISODE: The M-Plate Saga!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 398 – Shanna the Wee Devil

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
We would never, Maggott. (Uncanny X-Men #347)
Grovel, allergic to sticks. (Uncanny X-Men #347)
Spat: just your average reverse-aging cavegirl bounty hunter. (Uncanny X-Men #347)
Weirder or less weird than the time the Morlocks healed Professor X and then dressed him in bondage gear? (Uncanny X-Men #347)
Big Mother Truckers no more. (Uncanny X-Men #347)
Alas, poor Landscape! I barely knew him, Joseph: a fellow of infinite power, of most excellent colors. (Uncanny X-Men #347)
Nanny’s great and all, but LOOK AT THAT BAT! (Uncanny X-Men #347)
I wish we got to see more of that robo-dragon in the back. (Uncanny X-Men #348)
Thankfully, Bishop is no stranger to being impaled by pipes. (Uncanny X-Men #348)
SabreRogue. (Uncanny X-Men #348)
This is pretty unambiguous, right? (Uncanny X-Men #348)
Chris Bachalo’s back! (Uncanny X-Men #349)
Beast, Beast, Beast of the Jungle, strong as he can be! (Uncanny X-Men #349)
Whoa, that volcano base got a lot more complicated when we switched artists. (Uncanny X-Men #349)
Even Maggott’s hair gets more impressive when he goes into battle-mode! (Uncanny X-Men #349)
Bachalo draws chaos well. (Uncanny X-Men #349)
“Excess”? What do you mean by that word? (Uncanny X-Men #349)
All together now: “DAMMIT REMY!” (Uncanny X-Men #349)
NEXT EPISODE: X-Force hits the road!

398 – Shanna the Wee Devil

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
In which the rest of the X-Men return from space; Maggott is the new cool; Gambit’s past catches up with him; Chris Bachalo takes over as regular artist on Uncanny X-Men; Deathbird flirts singularly aggressively; Eany and Meany eat a truck; dating a telepathic ninja is going to take some getting used to; and Havok predictably remains ABD.
X-PLAINED
  • Motormouth (Harley Davis)
  • Motormouth and Killpower
  • Uncanny X-Men #347-349
  • Grovel and Spat
  • A horse guy who is actually a cat-frog-lizard guy
  • An extraordinarily half-assed action figure
  • Load-bearing backstory
  • Landscape
  • The other Nanny
  • Elegant foreshadowing
  • Beast’s appearance as a mutant power
  • Gambit’s chest hair
  • The end of playtime
  • CCA-compliant foliage
  • Deathbird and Bishop
  • A vanity plate
  • Eany and Meany
  • One-off psychometry
  • Psylocke vs. Maggott
  • Decompression
  • Havok’s enduring lack of a Ph.D.
NEXT EPISODE: X-Force hits the road!
NOTE: In this episode, Miles theorized Grovel’s voice as sounding halfway between Cable and Kermit the Frog without realizing that he was in fact just describing Sweetums. -Jay

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As Mentioned in Episode 386 – No Puppy for Storm

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
In which Sam Guthrie has an Experience. (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1997)
D’Gard is a snappy dresser. (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1997)
Brotherhood! (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1997)
This is the most menacing Maggott will ever be, ever. (Uncanny X-Men #345)
Who is this metal dude? It remains a mystery to this day. (Uncanny X-Men #345)
Remember when Maggott was Australian? (Uncanny X-Men #345)
Gambit, penitent. (Uncanny X-Men #345)
Thirst-trap Bishop. (Uncanny X-Men #345)
Thirst-trap Deathbird. (Uncanny X-Men #345)
NEXT EPISODE: Party on Mount Wundagore!

386 – No Puppies for Storm

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which treading water isn’t always a bad thing; Storm remains an irresponsible leader; nobody should ever trust Dark Beast; we are befuddled by a large metal man; Maggott makes his debut; and we ship the heck out of Deathbird and Bishop.

X-PLAINED:

  • The time Captain America dated a supervillain
  • Treading water
  • Gene Nation (again)
  • Uncanny X-Men Annual 1997
  • Uncanny X-Men #345
  • Razors
  • Humanity’s Last Stand
  • Surprise
  • Boost and Tether
  • D’gard
  • A Star Trek allusion
  • The Morlock retcon
  • Maggott (Japheth)
  • A large metal individual
  • Foreshadowing
  • A large, inconvenient spaceship
  • Magneto’s relationship to Judaism
  • Recovery from the Legacy Virus

NEXT EPISODE: Field Trip to Mount Wundagore!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!