In which moose are nothing to mess with; Cyclops requests a reality check; Bachalo does Kirby; Rogue absorbs a catchphrase; and the Shadow King needs a villain song.
X-PLAINED:
Uncanny X-Men #356-357
X-Men 77-78
The Cable Principle
Corvid disambiguation
An aborted narrative
Moose
Sherrif and/or Officer Chris
Stacy’s sister Melissa
Cul-de-sacs
Ptarmigan Creek
Dubiously credible lies
Nostalgia
Bad times in Westchester
Bad times in space
Punching birds
Moon Wolf
An absolutely inappropriate theatrical reference
Ainet
Ananansi vs. Anansi
The Shadow King (more) (again)
Psi-War
Temptation
Shadow powers
Hair swaps
Solo Disney+ series for X-Men
How to make Gambit work onscreen
NEXT EPISODE: Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy… IN SPACE!
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Marauders to the left of me, X-Men to the right, and I’m stuck in the middle with you… (Uncanny X-Men #350)
Listen, Gambit, it was either this or a Tupperware(TM) for that chunk of your brain. (Uncanny X-Men #350)
Their relationship seems healthy. (Uncanny X-Men #350)
Eh, it’s still in better shape than the car Miles drove in high school. (Uncanny X-Men #350)
Where? Oh, there. (Uncanny X-Men #350)
“He’s here again, Professor.” (Uncanny X-Men #350)
Speaking of different eras of the X-Men – check out Julian Totino Tedesco’s decade variant covers! Here’s the 60s… (All-New X-Men #18)
The 70s… (All-New X-Men #18)
The 80s… (All-New X-Men #18)
The 90s… (All-New X-Men #18)
…and the 2000s. (All-New X-Men #18)
After this, it’s off to the Justice Exhibit through the Justice Hall and then to the Justice Shop. If anyone needs the Little Justice’s Room, it’s on the left. (Uncanny X-Men #350)
Thunderbird, sure… but a version of Blink from an alternate universe? (Uncanny X-Men #350)
NOOOOORM! (Uncanny X-Men #350)
I’ve never been picked during jury selection, but I’m pretty sure this is how trials work, right? (Uncanny X-Men #350)
Rogue x-plains Gambit’s dark secret. (Uncanny X-Men #350)
As little sense as Rogue’s decision makes, damn if Joe Madureira (or Andy Smith?) doesn’t make it work anyway. (Uncanny X-Men #350)
Erik the Red was really Erik the Red and Purple! (Uncanny X-Men #350)
Okay, okay – they’re no Cyclops, Wolverine, Storm, Colossus, Nightcrawler, and Thunderbird, but I like them anyway. (X-Men #70)
Dig that speech bubble transition. (X-Men #70)
Cecilia Reyes and Marrow, best of friends. (X-Men #70)
Why don’t more artists work in the telekinetic Phoenix flare? (X-Men #70)
Cecilia takes charge. (X-Men #70)
And you know Sam will 100% pay them back later. (X-Men #70)
I love these three. (X-Men #70)
The cavalry arrives. (X-Men #70)
For once, too much dialogue is a good thing. (X-Men #70)
Gross mutant powers are the best mutant powers. (X-Men #70)
Maggott 2.0, courtesy Joe Kelly. (X-Men #70)
The X-Men: often at their best when their lives are at their worst. (X-Men #70)
In which legacy numbering is best left alone; all roads lead to the Antarctic; we finally learn Gambit’s big secret; Erik the Red gets yet a third identity; no one soils the Juggernaut; Maggott saves the day; and we have somehow made (technically more than) 400 of these things.
X-PLAINED
Spat
The tragic loss of the Cyber Comics
How not to back up your work
Uncanny X-Men #350
X-Men #70
A shambles
What’s been happening since Operation Zero Tolerance
A very fancy cover
Insufficient outerwear
Senses
Justice as a decorating theme
Baffling statuary
The return of Erik the Red
Erik the Red (again)
Ferris
Gambit’s big secret
A large number of continuity errors
A total dick move
De-icing
Untitled Marrow Game
A big fight
Living room surgery
Legal documents
Favorite anniversary issues
Dangling plot threads
NEXT EPISODE: Generation X vs. Christmas
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In which the rest of the X-Men return from space; Maggott is the new cool; Gambit’s past catches up with him; Chris Bachalo takes over as regular artist on Uncanny X-Men; Deathbird flirts singularly aggressively; Eany and Meany eat a truck; dating a telepathic ninja is going to take some getting used to; and Havok predictably remains ABD.
X-PLAINED
Motormouth (Harley Davis)
Motormouth and Killpower
Uncanny X-Men #347-349
Grovel and Spat
A horse guy who is actually a cat-frog-lizard guy
An extraordinarily half-assed action figure
Load-bearing backstory
Landscape
The other Nanny
Elegant foreshadowing
Beast’s appearance as a mutant power
Gambit’s chest hair
The end of playtime
CCA-compliant foliage
Deathbird and Bishop
A vanity plate
Eany and Meany
One-off psychometry
Psylocke vs. Maggott
Decompression
Havok’s enduring lack of a Ph.D.
NEXT EPISODE: X-Force hits the road!
NOTE: In this episode, Miles theorized Grovel’s voice as sounding halfway between Cable and Kermit the Frog without realizing that he was in fact just describing Sweetums. -Jay
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In which the Crimson Dawn is secretly a bad Daredevil arc; shadow-based transportation requires careful lighting; Dark Phoenix Saga references will not always do you favors; and Earth is big.
X-PLAINED:
Atlan the Dolphin
Psylocke and Archangel: Crimson Dawn #1-4
What the Crimson Dawn arc should actually be
Archangel (more) (again)
Psylocke (more) (again)
The Crimson Dawn (to what extent it can be explained)
Tar, Proctor of the Crimson Dawn (again)
Kuragari
Aesthetics of the Crimson Dawn
Undercloaks
How not to deliver a present
The worst thing about living in NYC
Sooooo much Orientalism
One way to put out a fire, I guess
“Infiltration”
Skeleton storage
The Overdrawn at the Memory Bank problem
Energy shuriken
Soul economics
Ninja Turtles on X-teams
Which X-Man would win a Pinewood Derby race
NEXT EPISODE: Risque!
NOTE: Jay’s Gollum voice is unfiltered. He can just do that at will, and it’s kind of upsetting.
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which standing in fields looking confused is a way of life; Psylocke gets a new superpower; when you gotta confess you gotta confess; Iceman’s dad stands up for justice; we mourn a Sentinel; and it’s probably a good thing that most companies don’t do mind melds as a team-building exercise.
X-PLAINED:
Levels of mutant power
Omicron-level mutations
Miles’s brief baseball career
Uncanny X-Men #338
X-Men #58
X-Men Annual 1996
Archangel’s wings
Joseph vs. Holographic Magneto
Shadow teleportation
The errand theory of confession
Graydon Creed (more) (again)
“Drake Roberts” and “Samson Guthry”
Several ways to memorialize the Mutant Massacre
Onslaught, but an anteater
A fight
Several JJJ cameos
X-baseball games
A highly atypical Sentinel
Several oblique warnings
X-Men ‘97
Media inspired by the X-Men
NEXT EPISODE: Pryde & Wisdom
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
