Bedlam – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 464 – The Cigarettes of Damocles

October 3, 2024 Miles 2 comments

Listen to the episode here.

The life of a Lyft driver is wild, man. (X-Force #96)

“Weirdest cigarette I ever seen.” (X-Force #96)

So Thomas/Tyler Guthrie is the Super Saiyan version of Sam? (X-Force #96)

Somebody call Occult Animal Control! (X-Force #96)

The award for Most Dramatic Lounging goes to… (X-Force #96)

Okay, Deviants, just because you look cool doesn’t mean you’re allowed to be bigoted jerks. (X-Force #96)

Sledge is wearing his ass-kicking fringe. (X-Force #96)

Lucas owns better socks – he just wears these for effect. (X-Force #96)

What we like about Selene is that she’s subtle. (X-Force #97)

Wow, healthcare really is better in other countries. (X-Force #97)

Hey, it’s a The Predator! Hello, The Predator! (X-Force #97)

Ah, so that’s how Ash Wednesday works! (X-Force #97)

Does this junkyard robo-dog fight contribute to the plot? No. Is it awesome? Obviously. (X-Force #97)

Selene is seriously never in a normal position! And we love it. (X-Force #97)

I’m pretty sure that Odysseus’s powers just made a BOI-OI-OING sound. (X-Force #97)

GNORFF (X-Force #97)

Yeah, DaCosta is da best! (X-Force #98)

Storm : Enclosed Spaces :: Cannonball : Dying Miners (X-Force #98)

Sunspot attends Selene’s art gallery opening, Concerned and X-Treme. (X-Force #98)

I never get tired of how Mephisto wears a trenchcoat like any given World of Darkness character. (X-Force #98)

Oof, that body language. (X-Force #98)

Jeez, I guess Miles could’ve skipped those four years of psychology. (X-Force #98)

YIPE YIPE YIPE (X-Force #98)

“So you see, that’s where the trouble began. That smile. That damned smile.” (X-Force #98)

NEXT TIME: Prepare to be Astonished! Maybe!

464 – The Cigarettes of Damocles

September 29, 2024 Jay 6 comments

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In which X-Force is kind of silly; that really isn’t what “quantum” means; polite and lawful are two entirely different things, and Sam Guthrie is only one of them; Selene vogues; and the Hellfire Club plays the dead girlfriend card.

X-PLAINED:

Blackheart
The Damocles Foundation (more) (again)
Lucas Bartholomew Guthrie
The difference between prisons and jails
X-Force #98-98
Whether Dr. Octopus enjoys the literary stylings of Elmore Leonard
One way to get out of prison
The Glitterbox
An unsuccessful heist
Celestial cigarettes and/or golems
Thomas and/or Tyler Zebulon and/or Zeke Guthrie
Demon Bears as urban pests
Selene, Always Voguing
Gatherers
Various evil scientists
The Sword
Junkyard life
Lenny Delmonico
Psychic rodeos
Nightmare chambers
Bat sex
An offer Sunspot can’t refuse
Hank McCoy’s villain arc
New Mutant superlatives

NEXT EPISODE: Astonishing X-Men!

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461 – Things to Do in Denver When You’re X-Force

September 1, 2024 Jay 8 comments

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In which Magneto may be right but is also wildly impractical; X-Force goes on a sneaking mission; Magneto isn’t mad, he’s just disappointed; Rictor and Shatterstar return; Strong is not a common surname in the Marvel universe; and being a mutant on TV doesn’t mean you’re one in the comics.

X-PLAINED:

How Jubilee became a vampire
The most X-treme youth of them all
X-Force 94-95
X-Force Annual 1999
Genosha
Butler disambiguation
Clown jobs
A team-up predicated on an awkward breakup
Hammer Town
Delphi
Memory boxes
Several potential continuity error
Names
Genoshan robots
Archie
A hierarchy of potential fates
Vershiagen Industries and/or Vershlagen Industries
V2
Hanrancha
Stronghold
Martin Strong
Freddie
Michelle Balters (Neurotap) (more) (again)
Communication with X-teams
A sudden and depressing resolution
Continuity across media
Why Gambit doesn’t (usually) throw tarot cards

NEXT EPISODE: The Return of the Hellions (kinda)

The visual companion to this episode will be up later this week!

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As Mentioned in Episode 458 – Quantum Stuff

August 4, 2024 Miles Leave a comment

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A hell of a cover… (X-Force #91)

…and a hell of a title page. (X-Force #91)

Standard superhero comic art this is not! (X-Force #91)

I want to read an X-Force that looks like this! (X-Force #91)

For your reaction image folder. (X-Force #91)

An anticlimactic breakup. (X-Force #91)

This issue is full of unconventional and perfect panels. (X-Force #91)

Theresa versus alcoholism – with all the drama of a final boss fight. (X-Force #91)

*sniffle* (X-Force #91)

We’re pretty sure that’s actually what the door says. (X-Force #92)

Only a slightly weirder computer case design than Apple’s Power Mac G4 Cube. (X-Force #92)

Cool colors versus warm colors – FIGHT! (X-Force #92)

Domino does what we all wanted to. (X-Force #92)

*heavy sigh* (X-Force #92)

“Neena Thurman – this is your life!” (X-Force #92)

Fake-Cable does not have game. (X-Force #92)

Casual Friday has gone too far! (X-Force #93)

What a lovely and colorful bee-fight! (X-Force #93)

Electryon and Astarte. (X-Force #93)

The four humors. (X-Force #93)

…and the four elements? (X-Force #93)

FTTTT (X-Force #93)

Danielle Moonstar: as short history. (X-Force #93)

Ry’lor the Destroyer: a short history. (X-Force #93)

It’s amazing how many problems can be solved with a time bomb to the face! (X-Force #93)

“SEE YOU ON THANKSGIVING!” (X-Force #93)

NEXT TIME: Miles and Devin x-plain X-Patrol!

458 – Quantum Stuff

August 4, 2024 Miles 2 comments

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In which Tommy Lee Edwards draws a damned fine everything; death gods get taken a lot less seriously when their avatars are seagulls; warm and cool colors get in a fight; Domino has no time for this bullshit; Cable and Domino wait ’til the kids are asleep; Sunspot’s alibi is too complicated; X-Force forges a pouches path; Engines are nothing but trouble; and Ry’lor the Destroyer puts himself in time out.

X-PLAINED:

The Norse Pantheon of 2099
X-Force #91-93
One of the best X-covers ever
Our favorite Siryn story
Jesse Aaronson, penitent chef
Sean Cassidy, penitent dad
A realistically anticlimactic breakup
Cassidy/Rourke history
Bring Your Daughter to Crimes Day
Napoleon Sanders
An epistolary montage
The dusty pink word balloons of Tom Waits
A missed Manos-portunity
The Chaos Engine
Halloween Jack
Domino’s varied musical tastes
Ry’lor the Destroyer
Kodo the Komodo
Bedlam’s extremely situational powers
Astarte and Electryon
Horniness as a superpower
The Temple of the Dying Sun
Cable & Corsair’s (lack of) history
Hope, Hope, Hope, Hope, Hope, and Hope

NEXT EPISODE: Miles and guest host Devin talk X-Patrol, 1996’s X-Force / Doom Patrol mash-up!

Want to hire J&MXPtXM producer Matt Hunter to produce your podcast? Email him!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 444 – Damnit, Magnus

March 31, 2024 Miles Leave a comment

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Domino: wine mom, but also good mom. (X-Force #86)

WRONG FREEZER WRONG FREEZER (X-Force #86)

Theresa Rourke Cassidy, mistress of disguise. (X-Force #86)

Remember how Moonstar’s weird new powers are always accompanied by a cosmic blue glow? This issue doesn’t, and is thus… confusing. (X-Force #86)

Odysseus Indigo, the most dapper of antagonists. (X-Force #86)

Some exceptionally efficient visual storytelling by Jim Cheung. (X-Force #86)

Christmas in March! Well, March for us. December for Colossus. (Uncanny X-Men #365)

Hey, it’s that thing Miles used to draw in middle school! How’d that get there?! (Uncanny X-Men #365)

In which Colossus interrupts a very manly threesome. (Uncanny X-Men #365)

The X-Men X-Plain X-Mas. (Uncanny X-Men #365)

I mean, that’s Rusty Collins, right? (Uncanny X-Men #365)

“My favorite X-Men character? You probably haven’t heard of him.” (Uncanny X-Men #365)

Oof, my emotions… (Uncanny X-Men #365)

Aww. (Uncanny X-Men #365)

Now that is a cover. (X-Men #85)

In which the first page establishes that this story will be a Big Deal. (X-Men #85)

Sorry, Bill… today’s gonna be a rough one. (X-Men #85)

We missed Alan Davis. (X-Men #85)

Uh oh. (X-Men #85)

Heroes. (X-Men #85)

This issue uses juxtaposition perfectly. (X-Men #85)

Magneto gets the answer he wants… and then the answer he doesn’t. (X-Men #85)

NEXT TIME: The Magneto War begins.

LINKS & FURTHER FESTIVITIES

RSVP to our 10th birthday party!

444 – Damnit, Magnus

March 31, 2024 Miles 5 comments

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In which it’s difficult to flee with soup; Miles may or may not be haunting the X-Men; Colossus collaborates involuntarily; Marrow is full of surprises; Magneto is a dick; Jay continues to carry a torch for Secret Wars: Siege; and you should totally come to our birthday party.

X-PLAINED:

Several rather pointed allusions
X-Force #86
Uncanny X-Men #365
X-Men #85
Almost Reno, NM
Where mutants come from
The Aguilar Institute (more) (again)
Abandoned towns
Mary the telepathic moppet (more) (again)
Odysseus Indigo
The Damocles Foundation
Sibling names
The Fundamental Attribution Error
A haunting
Christmas beer
Christmas ghost exquisite corpse
Bill Jones
A rescue mission
Essential stories of the ‘90s
Our weird favorites
Siege
Our upcoming 10^th birthday party (more) (again)

NEXT EPISODE: Magneto War begins!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

RSVP to our birthday shenanigans!

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 437 – Dismember the Titans

January 14, 2024 Miles 3 comments

Listen to the podcast here.

“Hot Topic Rennfaire” was a somewhat controversial choice for X-Force’s prom theme. (X-Force #85)

I’m impressed Pandemonia is so well put-together after 600 years in captivity! I was wearing pajama pants by day three of the pandemic. (X-Force #85)

“I’ll never forget that day… Rusty was inexplicably blonde, I was in a costume I wouldn’t have for months, and all was right in the world.” (X-Force #85)

You can tell Sam and Dani are in great shape: they’re having a conversation about feelings and continuity during a run while most of us couldn’t manage more than “*wheeze* *cough*” (X-Force #85)

“This place seems different! Did somebody replace a lamp or something?” (X-Force #85)

…How long have they been posing like that? (X-Force #85)

Nice fight scene, Angel Unzueta! (X-Force #85)

As distinct from prolific video game voice actress Jennifer Hale! (X-Force #85)

Say it, Dani! Focused totality… you know the next part… (X-Force #85)

“We’re here to cast glamours and rock out for Satan, and we’re all out of glamours!” (X-Force #85)

Pictured: Hades in disguise, Hades’s girlfriend, and Hades’s surprisingly detailed and colorful statue of Hades. (X-Force & Champions Annual 1998)

It’s no Larry Stroman crowd scene, but still, pretty great! (X-Force & Champions Annual 1998)

Cannonball wants to axe Meltdown what she was thinking. (X-Force & Champions Annual 1998)

“Well, at least it’s not a, you know.” (X-Force & Champions Annual 1998)

To Meltdown’s credit, that lady does seem like she’s about to take a bite out of Cannonball. (X-Force & Champions Annual 1998)

“Why were we the members of this team? Well, we happened to all be free on a Tuesday.” (X-Force & Champions Annual 1998)

Magic! Flirtation! Fonts! (X-Force & Champions Annual 1998)

“Happy tenth high school reunion, everybody!” (X-Force & Champions Annual 1998)

Now THAT’S playing the long game. (X-Force & Champions Annual 1998)

Don’t feel bad, I always mix them up with the Defenders too. (X-Force & Champions Annual 1998)

NEXT TIME: A very Wolverine Wolverine story.

437 – Dismember the Titans

January 14, 2024 Miles 16 comments

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In which the overlap between Rocky Horror and ‘90s X-Force fans is probably pretty significant; Pandemonia has priorities; the warehouse gets an evil, sexy glowup; swears are great; Johnny Blaze’s motorcycle probably shouldn’t still be on fire; and there is no single definitive X-Men experience.

X-PLAINED:

Master Pandemonium
X-Force #85
X-Force/Champions Annual 1998
What X-Force has been up to lately
The regrettable absence of Doctor Doom
Possession
Community
Cougars (euphemistic)
The thrift cycle
Rusty Collins on Krakoa
Fashion
An eons-old accord between the Houses of Chaos and the Lord of Valhalla
Jennifer Kale
The list
Swears
A statue of Hades
Various appendages sticking out of the earth
Hercules
The mystic power of sarcasm
The greatest fear of a Titan
Monet St. Croix vs. the Count of Monte Cristo
Good X-books for your fifteen-year-old niece

NEXT EPISODE: Wolverine vs. Vampires (again)!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 427 – Standard Deviation

October 22, 2023 Miles Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Why doesn’t Adam Pollina draw all the mythology? (X-Force #81)

Just another day for X-Force. (X-Force #81)

You could take away the word balloons and we’d still know so much about these characters just from their outfits and body language! (X-Force #81)

This panel doesn’t have much to do with continuity, but it sure is pretty. (X-Force #81)

Again: JUST ANOTHER DAY FOR X-FORCE (X-Force #81)

Siryn flirts. (X-Force #81)

“Your first clue should have been the rad halo-thing Adam Pollina drew behind me.” (X-Force #81)

We’ll miss you, Adam Pollina. Thanks for the memories. (X-Force #81)

Hi, Jesse Aaronson AKA Bedlam! Hi, Cait Sith! (X-Force #82)

I enjoy how “rebuilt from the brink of death” also translates to “wearing a super-cool set of insectoid armor.” (X-Force #82)

Pollina may be gone, but the action scenes are still pretty awesome. (X-Force #82)

Jesse, that is not how you give a massage. (X-Force #82)

“Sorry we’re late, it took us a while to adequately rip up our clothes.” (X-Force #82)

Yeah, okay – we love this guy. (X-Force #82)

Sam Guthrie X-Plains (his time on) the X-Men. (X-Force #83)

I think your guts may actually be tied up in abs, Sam. (X-Force #83)

Just enough of that yellow and purple left to still make them look like a team – and just enough folks without that uniform to make it clear how long it’s been since those days. (X-Force #83)