beast – Page 5 – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

331 – Surprised by Brood

April 25, 2021 Jay 11 comments

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we take a break from the lead-up to Onslaught; Hannah Conover is the queen of dangling plot threads (and also of the Brood); Wolverine is the strangest angel; William Conover is the chillest minister in the Marvel Universe; and Excalibur writer Tini Howard gives us the inside scoop on Gambit’s trench coat.

X-PLAINED:

Mutant Brood
The Brood vs. Brood X cicadas
X-Men vs. Brood: Day of Wrath #1-2
Theological origins of John Ostrander
Hair
An unspoken motif in pin-up art
Reverend William Conover (more)(again)
Hannah Conover (more)(again)
The Brood (more)(again)
The Brood Empress
The Firstborn
Atypical Queen-Broodling power dynamics
Brood of the future
A strange angel
What Gambit’s trench coat is made of

NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk

NEXT EPISODE: The end of the Externals!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 328 – Single Blue Male

April 4, 2021 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

It’s not baseball, but it’ll do! (X-Men #48)

It’s rough to be Bishop. (X-Men #48)

The extra arms make it extra funny. (X-Men #48)

*Rimshot* (X-Men #48)

Dark Beast X-Plains Bishop. (X-Men #48)

Bishop, that’s flirting. (X-Men #49)

“Bishop with Kittens” should be a thing. (X-Men #49)

This one’s for Douglas Wolk. (X-Men #49)

Never trust anybody. (X-Men #49)

Except by the time it happens, they look way more alike. (X-Men Unlimited #10)

Hank McCoy was an objectively kind of terrible child. (X-Men Unlimited #10)

This would be so fun to climb around! (X-Men Unlimited #10)

Hank, buddy, no. (X-Men Unlimited #10)

Honestly, I’d prefer a toaster. (X-Men Unlimited #10)

What the HELL, dude? (X-Men Unlimited #10)

Time to face the… nope. I’m not gonna do it. (X-Men Unlimited #10)

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, MCCOY! (X-Men Unlimited #10)

NEXT EPISODE: X-Man vs. Excalibur!

328 – Single Blue Male

March 28, 2021 Jay 19 comments

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In which Sam Guthrie will take all your money; Gambit has exceptionally poor judgment; having friends who are couples means getting to be the big spoon AND the little spoon; Hank McCoy is the agrarian Rube Goldberg; and there are a lot of ways to appreciate a comic.

X-PLAINED:

Several colors of Beast
X-Men #48-49
X-Men Unlimited #10
The Floating Super Hero Poker Game
Large hands
Various refugees from the Age of Apocalypse
Surge(TM)
Pam Greenwood (Fatale)
Many gratuitous murders
Iconic runs we’re not into
Generations of teen X-Men

NEXT WEEK: Hawk talk!

NEXT EPISODE: Nate Grey vs. Excalibur!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 325 – Captain Bloodscream

February 28, 2021 Jay One comment

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

I’m sorry; I cannot accept this as Cable. (X-Force/Cable Annual 1995)

The Impossible Teens. (X-Force/Cable Annual 1995)

Yay, Team-Ups! (Spider-Man Team-Up #1)

Tessa, Shade Queen of the Hellfire Club. Spider-Man Team-Up #1

SERIOUSLY, WHAT IS THE GOLD CROTCH THING (Spider-Man Team-Up #1)

Also Tessa. (Spider-Man Team-Up #1)

NO, SERIOUSLY: 30-50 FERAL HOGS. (X-Men Unlimited #9)

FUCKING GHOST PIRATES Y’ALL (X-Men Unlimited #9)

YES AS A MATTER OF FACT I WILL BE CAPTIONING ALL THE IMAGES FROM THIS ISSUE IN ALL CAPS (X-Men Unlimited #9)

LOOK AT THIS MAN. THIS IS A MAN LIVING HIS DREAM. (X-Men Unlimited #9)

SURE WHY NOT (X-Men Unlimited #9)

SHARK FIGHT SHARK FIGHT (X-Men Unlimited #9)

THIS VISUAL IS LIKE ALL THE GOOFINESS OF THE EPISODE IN A NUTSHELL (X-Men Unlimited #9)

KING OF THE CAT PEOPLE (X-Men Unlimited #9)

FOOTNOTES FOR THE FOOTNOTE GODS (X-Men Unlimited #9)

FISH! FISH OF DECEIT! (X-Men Unlimited #9)

OH HEY WE KNOW THAT GUY (X-Men Unlimited #9)

THE NEXT TWO IMAGES WILL JUST BE KICKASS BLOODSCREAM YOU’RE WELCOME (X-Men Unlimited #9)

I WISH HIM THE BEST (X-Men Unlimited #9)

NEXT EPISODE: The Adversary probably does not actually join X-Factor.

325 – Captain Bloodscream

February 28, 2021 Jay 12 comments

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In which we recommend against having a birthday in the Marvel Universe; Shinobi Shaw was a proto-Quentin Quire; Lee Forrester returns under the best possible circumstances; Bloodscream lives his best unlife; Belasco is apparently master of the cat people now; and a former Marvel intern returns to solve a mystery.

X-PLAINED:

Bloodscream (again)
X-Force/Cable Annual 1995
Spider-Man Team-Up #1
X-Men Unlimited #9
The Impossible Man (and his slacker kids)
The Clone Saga
Benedict Kine
A really superlative insult
The continuity box
Still more Bloodscream
30-50 feral hogs
GHOST PIRACY
Belasco (more)(again)
The N’garai (more) (again)
A follow-up to a mystery from Episode #323

NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor vs. the Adversary

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 321 – Revolving Doors

January 24, 2021 Jay One comment

Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Damn, those bunny slippers are intense.(X-Force #48)

Please note that Siryn has her own personal breeze. (X-Force #48)

“Y… you’re not?” (X-Force #48)

Large. (Uncanny X-Men #328)

LARGE. (Uncanny X-Men #328)

THAT IS NOT HOW YOU FIRST-AID A MAJOR ABDOMINAL WOUND (Uncanny X-Men #328)

We may never know why Professor X chose to install Cerebro in a Multi-Axis Trainer, but he certainly appears to have done so. (Sabretooth Special #1)

Dang, that’s a lot of drop shadows. (Sabretooth Special #1)

Deja vu all over again. We may never know why Professor X chose to install Cerebro in a Multi-Axis Trainer, but he certainly appears to have done so. (Sabretooth Special #1)

NEXT EPISODE: INTO THE CLONE ZONE!

321 – Revolving Doors

January 24, 2021 Jay 14 comments

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In which Sabretooth does not get effectively rehabilitated; nobody has the moral high ground; Val Cooper is the worst possible person to call in any emergency; Bishop needs a better support system; Jay knows several things about onions; and not everything has to be a mammal.

X-PLAINED:

Sabretooth (more) (again)
X-Force #48
Uncanny X-Men #328
Sabretooth Special #1
Bunny slippers
An intervention
Stages of grief
What not to do with Sabretooth
An evil squirrel
Onions
The three genders
Mutant Massacre callbacks
Caption disambiguation problems
The overabundance of boobs on fictional non-mammalian species

NEXT EPISODE: INTO THE CLONE ZONE!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 317 – Acquaintances of Humanity

December 20, 2020 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Oh, c’mon, you did NOT need a double gatefold for that. (X-Men #45)

OW.

(Not a metaphor.) (X-Men #45)

Included to showcase some really damn good use of balloon and caption placement. (X-Men #45)

Aw, Rogue. (X-Men #45)

Damn, that’s good composition. (X-Men #45)

Just here to rub salt in the wound by out-glamming you. (X-Men #45)

It’s true: there’s something extra sad about brooding in shorts. (Uncanny X-Men #326)

IT SURE IS 1995 IN HERE. (Uncanny X-Men #326)

Seriously, Boomer, don’t be friends with Sabretooth. (Uncanny X-Men #326)

To those of you who get reaction images from these: You’re welcome. (Uncanny X-Men #326)

Gambit clearly subscribes to the Rory Campbell school of rehabilitation. (Uncanny X-Men #326)

Well, WE certainly recognize it! (Uncanny X-Men #326)

Now, that’s a wraparound cover! (X-Men Annual 1995)

Somebody’s been reading Age of Apocalypse. (X-Men Annual 1995)

“They’re never sure how many of them they are, and the uncertainty is difficult to live with.” (X-Men Annual 1995)

These three look like time travelers dressed in what each is certain everyone was wearing in 1995. (X-Men Annual 1995)

At least they’re stylish? I guess? (X-Men Annual 1995)

“I see hair more glam than any in this universe.” (X-Men Annual 1995)

“Several, at this point.” (X-Men Annual 1995)

Well, kinda. (X-Men Annual 1995)

Also, they all, um, teleported away. To a farm. Where they can run and play with the other villains. (X-Men Annual 1995)

NEXT: Leprechauns, obviously.

317 – Acquaintances of Humanity

December 14, 2020 Jay 12 comments

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In which Nicholas Cage is more of a concept than a human being; Rogue’s angst-fueled road trip continues; Gambit and Sinister have complementary aesthetics; there are a lot of Guthries; the Trasks are never up to any good; and whether or not it is canon, Ghost Rider has definitely teamed up with Johnny Cash.

X-PLAINED:

Ghost Rider (film)
Nicholas Cage
Rogue and Gambit
X-Men #45
Uncanny X-Men #326
Uncanny X-Men Annual 1995
A gratuitous gatefold
Alliteration vs. consonance
Osmium
Fancy captions
Aesthetics
Shorts
Gambit vs. Sabretooth
Questionable medical policy
AIDS and the Legacy Virus, revisited
Humanity’s Last Stand
Guthries
Preacher
The evolution of killer robots
Superhero-musician team-ups
Otherworld vs. the M’Kraan crystal

NEXT EPISODE: THE LEPRECHAUNS RETURN

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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