beast – Page 4 – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 357 – The Semiotics of Regret

December 26, 2021 Jay 3 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

This cover accomplishes what it sets out to do so beautifully… (Uncanny X-Men #337)

…as does its credits page. (Uncanny X-Men #337)

Nothing is entirely okay here. (Uncanny X-Men #337)

Hank, no. (Uncanny X-Men #337)

And wistfulness for dessert. (Uncanny X-Men #337)

Ah, that cover. Again. (X-Men #57)

Versions of this have been used roughly a zillion times; but it always works. (X-Men #57)

The 616, where televisions always flip through the most scene-appropriate clips. (X-Men #57)

Clean up your damn flechettes, Warren Kenneth Worthington III. (X-Men #57)

(He’s not covered in water; it’s the anti-psy field and the evocation of Days of Future Past.) (Onslaught Epilogue #1)

Not… the Rainbow Bears?! (Onslaught Epilogue #1)

Hi, kiddo. (Onslaught Epilogue #1)

Psychology is… different, here. (Onslaught Epilogue #1)

Sure, why not? (Onslaught Epilogue #1)

NEXT EPISODE: GIANT-SIZE WINTER SPECIAL, feat. Jonathan Hickman!

As Mentioned in Episode 353 – Scientists and Superheroes

November 28, 2021 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Forge X-Plains. (X-Factor #126)

Wait, if she’s also visible as herself, why does it even MATTER which wings she uses? (X-Factor #126)

Don’t steal the man’s tagline. (X-Factor #126)

I really enjoy this cover. (Fantastic Four #416)

“NOBODY menaces the Richardses but me!” (Fantastic Four #416)

Aw his silly device. (Fantastic Four #416)

“You have my abs.” (Fantastic Four #416)

THIS WEIRDO (Fantastic Four #416)

“DOOM WOULD ALSO ENJOY A LATTE.” (Fantastic Four #416)

This page super reminds me of the credits of the movie Help! (X-Men Unlimited #12)

They were cooler when they were just a neon sign come to life. (X-Men Unlimited #12)

This probably happens to Strange a lot. (X-Men Unlimited #12)

I’m sorry, Spite; I can’t take you seriously without a Y and possibly a gratuitous apostrophe in your name. (X-Men Unlimited #12)

A large boy. (X-Men Unlimited #12)

…they fight crime! (X-Men Unlimited #12)

NEXT EPISODE: some bullshit.

LINKS & FURTHER SPINOFFS

I’m pretty sure we’ve linked to Robert Cop before, but just in case, here you go.

353 – Scientists and Superheroes

November 21, 2021 Jay 10 comments

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In which Dark Beast is an unlikely father figure; Wild Child remains low-budget Wolverine; X-Factor foreshadows the XSE; no one else thwarts Richardses on Doom’s watch; the cow goes “hate”; and Juggernaut fails to grow as a person.

X-PLAINED:

The Red Ghost
Onslaught thus far
X-Factor #126
Fantastic Four #416
X-Men Unlimited #12
Random’s origins (kind of)
Pinochle
Kristoff Vernard
Several villains
Juggernaut’s adventures in the Gem of Cyttorak
Gomurr the Ancient (again)
Spite
Unreliable narrators
The evolution of Cyttorak
Wolverine’s hair
X-arcs we’d like to see as video games

NEXT EPISODE: To nobody’s surprise, Onslaught.

CORRECTION: Kristoff Vernard is not in fact a clone of Doctor Doom.

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Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 347 – Onslaught Begins

September 26, 2021 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

What, indeed? (Uncanny X-Men #334)

He’s a man of simple pleasures. (Uncanny X-Men #334)

We ship it. (Uncanny X-Men #334)

What the HELL, Professor X? (Uncanny X-Men #334)

Again: THE HELL?! (Uncanny X-Men #334)

It sucks to be Dark Beast, as it should. (X-Men #54)

The wreck of Professor Xavier’s office… (X-Men #54)

…and the wreck of Professor Xavier. (X-Men #54)

Before there was SIXIS, there was OVALZNO. (Onslaught: X-Men #1)

Shielded thoughts get red borders. (Onslaught: X-Men #1)

HE’S SO DRAMATIC (Onslaught: X-Men #1)

I know he’s evil right now, but I bet Xavier was also just a super creepy kid. (Onslaught: X-Men #1)

NEXT EPISODE: More Onslaught.

LINKS & FURTHER ALLUSIONS

Muscle March sure is a real video game that actually exists.

347 – Onslaught Begins

September 26, 2021 Jay 14 comments

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In which we stop procrastinating and dive headfirst into Onslaught; Professor Xavier is a jerk; Dark Beast wasn’t even supposed to be here today; Onslaught declaims like it’s the Silver Age; Bishop gets some long-awaited closure; and we pitch alternate candidates for the X-traitor.

X-PLAINED:

Hyperstorm
Onslaught (entity)
Onslaught (event)
Uncanny X-Men #334
X-Men #54
Onslaught: X-Men #1
How to pronounce “Buccellato”
The opposite of a pep talk
Nate Grey vs. Professor X
The Z’noxx (again)
One of several times Charles Xavier has faked his own death
Muscle March
Franklin Richards
The Gem of Cyttorak
A villain speech
That one recording Bishop found in the future
The X-traitor
Li’l Charlie
Magneto’s hood ornament
Alternate takes on the X-traitor

NEXT EPISODE: Onslaught continues.

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 344 – Where No Mutant Has Gone Before

August 29, 2021 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

A long, long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away… (Star Trex)

And then, Gladiator punched the Enterprise. (Star Trex)

This throwaway gag basically carries the issue. (Star Trex)

Everything Deathbird knows about diplomacy, she learned from Edgar Rice Burroughs novel covers. (Star Trex)

Several hundred years later… (Star Trek: The Next Generation / X-Men: Second Contact)

“I mean, we pay about as much attention to the Prime Directive…” (Star Trek: The Next Generation / X-Men: Second Contact)

This scene really looks like they should all be holding cocktails. (Star Trek: The Next Generation / X-Men: Second Contact)

Kang saying “Civility costs nothing” never stops being funny. (Star Trek: The Next Generation / X-Men: Second Contact)

Well, he’s doomed. (Star Trek: The Next Generation / X-Men: Second Contact)

And so’s she. (Star Trek: The Next Generation / X-Men: Second Contact)

We told you about that so we could tell you about this. (Planet X)

NEXT EPISODE: All of the Marvels. ALL of them. (feat. Douglas Wolk)

LINKS & FURTHER CROSSOVERS

Listen to Tina’s X-Plain debut in Episode 62 – Giant-Size Special #2…
…Check out her other podcasts at Welcome to Television…
…and follow her on Twitter!
Learn more about Proteus in Episode 10 – Not All Mandroids and Episode 166 – Proteus Has Two Mommies.
For the lowdown on Kang, listen to Episode 85 – Secret Convergence on Infinite Podcasts Part 9!

344 – Where No Mutant Has Gone Before (feat. Tina Carleton)

August 29, 2021 Jay 15 comments

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In which the X-Men cross over with two generations of Star Trek; your grandma invented slash fiction; Gladiator punches a starship; we designate a universe; Leonard McCoy gets bowdlerized; “Gary” is a silly name for a god; Elizabeth Dehner deserves better; a lot of things happen in space; Worf and Wolverine enjoy a brief but intense romance; the X-Men should have more to say about the ethics of “curing” mutation; and we successfully delay Onslaught by another week.

X-PLAINED:

Cross-franchise creative footprints
Collecting Star Trek in the ‘90s
Secret origins of Tina and Jay’s friendship
Star Trex
Star Trek: The Next Generation / X-Men: Second Contact
Star Trek: The Next Generation / X-Men: Planet X
Delta Vega
“Where No Man Has Gone Before”
The Shi’ar (again)
The relationship of Star Trek to the Marvel Universe
Earth-1701, which may or may not also be Earth-200500
Proteus (again)
A dubious date
First Contact
The Borg
Several temporal anomalies
The Traveler
Michael Jan Friedman
Xhaldia
Time Hooks and/or Chrono-compasses
Prune juice
Your new ship
The Drakkon
A simulated Charles Xavier
A Highland sex ghost, apparently?

NEXT EPISODE: All of the Marvels, with Douglas Wolk!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 331 – Surprised by Brood

April 25, 2021 Jay 2 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

…Maybe it’s one of those really small motels where none of the bedding matches? I don’t know. (X-Men vs. Brood #1)

Secret Origins of Hannah Conover, part 1 of 2. (X-Men vs. Brood #1)

Secret Origins of Hannah Conover, part 2 of 2. (X-Men vs. Brood #1)

Meet the Firstborn! (X-Men vs. Brood #1)

Lookitthat blastin’-mussed hair! (X-Men vs. Brood #1)

And wet hair! Brian Hitch is a treasure. (X-Men vs. Brood #1)

She protec but she also attac (X-Men vs. Brood #1)

I dunno, man; angels are pretty weird. (X-Men vs. Brood #1)

#relationshipgoals (X-Men vs. Brood #1)

And she’s still in that pod today. Somewhere. Probably. (X-Men vs. Brood #1)

Maybe Chick tracts have made me excessively cynical about Jesus showing up in comic books. (X-Men vs. Brood #1)

NEXT EPISODE: And so they do.

LINKS & FURTHER INFESTATIONS:

Learn more about Hannah’s origins in Episode 95 – Earthfall!

331 – Surprised by Brood

April 25, 2021 Jay 11 comments

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In which we take a break from the lead-up to Onslaught; Hannah Conover is the queen of dangling plot threads (and also of the Brood); Wolverine is the strangest angel; William Conover is the chillest minister in the Marvel Universe; and Excalibur writer Tini Howard gives us the inside scoop on Gambit’s trench coat.

X-PLAINED:

Mutant Brood
The Brood vs. Brood X cicadas
X-Men vs. Brood: Day of Wrath #1-2
Theological origins of John Ostrander
Hair
An unspoken motif in pin-up art
Reverend William Conover (more)(again)
Hannah Conover (more)(again)
The Brood (more)(again)
The Brood Empress
The Firstborn
Atypical Queen-Broodling power dynamics
Brood of the future
A strange angel
What Gambit’s trench coat is made of

NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk

NEXT EPISODE: The end of the Externals!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!