Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: beast

16 – The Official Unofficial Not-at-SDCC (Rachel and Miles X-Plain the) X-Men Panel

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In which we correct a startling omission, explore the current state of the X-Universe, and speculate wildly; Quentin Quire has excellent fashion sense; Rachel gets a new accessory; Miles goes off-brand; the X-Men are somewhat complicated; Iron Man has poor decision-making skills; Charles Xavier dies for real; Beast might be a supervillain; we briefly forget Marc Guggenheim’s first name; and the future remains a relative mystery.

For purposes of continuity, it’s probably worth noting that this episode was recorded before the SDCC Marvel panel.

X-Plained:

  • Quentin Quire
  • Patreon
  • A startling omission from the official SDCC lineup
  • The current state of the X-Men
  • Decimation
  • Dark Reign
  • Utopia
  • Schism
  • Avengers vs. X-Men
  • Mutant politics
  • Hope Summers
  • The Phoenix/P.E.N.I.S. five (again)
  • The (real) (this time) (we think) death of Charles Xavier
  • Teenager hijinks
  • Crossover events
  • Battle of the Atom
  • Semantics of supervillainy
  • How Wolverine is 100% definitely going to die
  • Jumping-on points
  • Current X-books
  • Jubilee

You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Support us on Patreon!

 

As Mentioned in Episode 13 – Last Stand on the Moon

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You can tell she’s evil on account of the foreshortening. (X-Men #135)
Well, that escalated quickly. (X-Men #135)
“Inexorable” is a word we use a lot when talking about the Dark Phoenix Saga. This is one of those moments that can only lead in one devastating direction. (X-Men #135)
You can tell it’s a big deal because of the cameos… (X-Men #135)
…and the cross-promotion. Hi, Silver Surfer! (X-Men #135)
MALEFIC DESTINY! Claremont can be pretty overwrought, but for a story like this, we would argue that he is PRECISELY WROUGHT ENOUGH. (X-Men #135)
See, shit like this? This is why “malefic destiny” is an entirely appropriate and to-scale phrase. (X-Men #135)
AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE! (X-Men #135)
The Shi’ar: Why You Can’t Have Nice Things. (X-Men #136)
But first, a brief round of Danger Room exposition! (X-Men #136)
In John Grey’s defense, “what to do when your child is possessed by a potentially malevolent cosmic force” is really not covered adequately in most parenting books. (X-Men #136)
Comics Wolverine > Movie Wolverine. (X-Men #136)
If Xander’s crayon speech from that one Buffy episode is not direct homage to this scene, I will EAT MY HAT, and also your hat. (X-Men #136)
GOD DAMNIT, PROFESSOR X. (X-Men #136)
And THAT’S how you do a high-stakes psychic duel! (X-Men #136)
This will definitely not come back to haunt you. DEFINITELY NOT. (X-Men #136)
Maybe we will just put this cover in every single “as mentioned” gallery forever. Really, it deserves it. (X-Men #137)
The Watcher is like the narrative equivalent of pullquotes. (X-Men #137)
One step closer to the end. (X-Men #137)
But first, Beast pretty definitely gets a happy ending from a space massage therapist with epic green sideburns! (X-Men #137)
Again: Comics Wolverine > Movie Wolverine. (X-Men #137)
“I’ll take ‘scenes that always make Rachel tear up’ for 200, Alex.” (X-Men #137)
Yeah. (X-Men #137)
TEAMWORK! (X-Men #137)
“I’ll take ‘scenes that always make Rachel tear up’ for 1000, Alex.” (X-Men #137)
Can we have a moment of silence for this completely and absolutely perfect page? (X-Men #137)
The (definitely absolutely 100% permanent) death of Phoenix. (X-Men #137)
This is one of those covers that will be riffed and referenced until the end of time. (X-Men #138)
X-Men #138 renders 11 of the last 12 episodes of this podcast pretty much redundant.
The end… (X-Men #138)
…and the beginning. (X-Men #138)

P.S. We have some rad new stuff in our store, including dark-background Magneto Made Some Valid Points shirts and Chris Haley’s spiffy new YAYBO! design! Go buy shirts so we can buy comics!

Haley_Yaybo_Shirt

13 – Last Stand on the Moon

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In which Jean commits genocide, the Shi’ar are total dicks (again), we have feelings about X-Men #137, Claremont and Byrne do what they do best, shit gets real on the moon, Kitty joins the team, and the Dark Phoenix Saga concludes.

 

X-Plained:

  • Inhumans
  • The Kree
  • The Terrigen Mist
  • Teamwork
  • The Dark Phoenix
  • Cameos with cosmic implications
  • The Phoenix event horizon
  • Establishing scale
  • Psychic battles
  • The winged never-nudes of the Marvel Universe
  • Danger-room exposition
  • The Shi’ar’s really dubious justice system
  • Why X-Men #137 is the definitive issue of X-Men
  • Pacing
  • The power of friendship
  • Quiet moments
  • The blue area of the moon
  • The best last stand
  • Moon vandalism
  • The Phoenix Retcon

You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

As Mentioned In Episode 10 – Not All Mandroids

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Multiple Man’s powers essentiall make him a retcon elemental.
Punching pterosaurs is the gift that keeps on giving. (X-Men #114)
Best Worst Reveal (X-Men #114)
“Robes” (X-Men #114)
We really can’t fault Cyclops for giving up on trying to explain Sauron. (X-Men #115)
The final fight of X-Men #116 Dark City.
Remember when we didn’t know everything about Wolverine? (X-Men #118)
Sadly, this story is really low on Sunfire Sass. Misty Knight, however, is AWESOME. (X-Men #118)
Mandroids. (X-Men #118)
Moses Magnum, P.I. (X-Men #118)
Heist stories are the best stories. (X-Men #119)
That’s Mariko Yoshida. She’s going to be really important later. (X-Men #120)
And that’s why you always leave a note. (X-Men #118)
Spoiler: Nope. (X-Men #109)
Alpha Flight. (X-Men #120)
Vindicator is a thoughtful antagonist. (X-Men #120)
Not actually episode-relevant. We just think these panels are hilarious. (X-Men #120)
Wolverine, we are pretty sure the APA would not approve of your approach to therapy. (X-Men #122)
Don’t fuck with Storm. (X-Men #122)
Ugh, THIS guy. (X-Men #122)
Based on the graffiti, this apartment was previously occupied by the 1970s Marvel bullpen. (X-Men #122)
Cyclops comes to terms with dynamic storytelling. (X-Men #125)
This is an awesome reunion, and notable as one of the only times Cyclops has ever successfully completed a hug. (X-Men #125)
Well, that’s portentous. (X-Men #104)
Angus McWhirter has REALLY STRONG FEELINGS about hovercraft. (X-Men #119)
Moira MacTaggert does science in a superhero uniform, because, comic books. (X-Men #125)
Proteus’s secondary mutation is superhuman levels of creepiness. (X-Men #127)
Well, damn. (X-Men #128)

10 – Not All Mandroids

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In which Phoenix has nothing on Jamie Madrox when it comes to retcons, Pterosaurs have super punchable faces, Colossus gets laid, we are uninterested in the Savage Land, Wolverine and Storm are both pretty interesting, smiling costs extra if you’re Doctor Doom, Banshee saves the day, Alpha Flight tries, Angry Hovercraft Guy comes back, and Proteus is fairly upsetting.

X-Plained:

  • X-Men #109, 114-16, 118-122, and 125-128
  • Multiple Man
  • Metacontinuity
  • The Savage Land
  • Pterosaurs
  • Shi’ar mustache technology
  • Karl Lykos
  • Misty Knight
  • Colleen Wing
  • Wolverine in Japan
  • Mandroids
  • Moses Magnum
  • A Heist
  • Angus McWhirter, disgruntled hovercraft rental guy
  • Alpha Flight
  • Team Dynamics
  • Why you always leave a note
  • Proteus

You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Next week: Secret origins, shipper wars, the Siege Perilous, and which of us would win in a fight.

As Mentioned on Episode 4 – American History X-Men

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The Steve Rude covers are the hands-down best part of X-Men: Children of the Atom.
Seriously. This is off the rails. Steve Rude, man.
X-Men: Children of the Atom really, really, really wants to be the Dark Knight Returns of X-Men. It’s not.
X-Men: Children of the Atom tries so hard to make Fred Duncan a noir protagonist. (Hint: nope.)
Bear in mind that Children of the Atom came out in 1999, and is nominally set in the same year.
Oh, hi, guys. (Children of the Atom)
Charles Xavier: the worst ever, forever. (Children of the Atom)
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU HIRED HITLER! (Children of the Atom)
After the Rave-Up, they’re going to go do some crimes, like go get sushi and not pay. (Children of the Atom)
Deep stealth Hank McCoy. (Children of the Atom)
Hank dabbles briefly in victim blaming. (Children of the Atom)
Jack “Tricky Dick” Winters. (Children of the Atom)
Well, yes–that’s sort of the problem. (Children of the Atom)
Magneto chews the scenery and regurgitates it into your brain like you are a baby bird of villainy and he is your mother and I think this metaphor kind of got away from me. (Children of the Atom)
Okay, that’s pretty cool: the opening narration of X-Men #1 closes Children of the Atom.
X-Men: First Class, but not THAT X-Men First Class.
Take THAT, Silver-Age gender politics! (X-Men: First Class)
Even the least creepy version of Professor X is still pretty creepy. (X-Men: First Class)
Aw, these dudes. (X-Men: First Class)
Cyclops #1–a one-shot that’s part of the First Class continuity, in which Cyclops actually has a good day.
For more fun, low-angst X-Men in the spirit of First Class, we recommend the hell out of this X-Men / Power Pack miniseries.
How much do we love X-Men: Season One? SO MUCH.
Jean Grey: Now available with a point of view and distinct personality! (X-Men: Season One)
We also appreciate that X-Men: Season One understands the importance of X-Plaining the X-Men.
This comic book, y’all. (X-Men: Season One)
Iceman: chronically under-appreciated, chronically awesome. X-Men: Season One
Most of all, X-Men: Season One is about a bunch of screwed up teenagers figuring out how to be a team. It’s a really neat book.
No one draws shifty faces like Jamie McKelvie. (X-Men: Season One)
Bobby invents Dance Pants in 2019. Don’t tell him. He needs to stumble on it himself.
Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men t-shirts: Now available! (Stickers, too.)
We Are Comics is a campaign to show—and celebrate—the faces of our community, our industry, and our culture; to promote the visibility of marginalized members of our population; and to stand in solidarity against harassment and abuse. See our full post here.
Next week on Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men!

Links and further reading:

The X-Axis Silver Age X-Men Index (archived)

Marvels

X-Men: Children of the Atom

X-Men: First Class

X-Men: Season One

We Are Comics

Redbubble Shop

4 – American History X-Men

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In which Rachel finally gets to say “WHAT?!,” we examine three variations on the Silver Age, Twin Peaks is reality TV, we can’t believe you hired Hitler, Angel is not Batman, even the most sympathetic Xavier is still pretty creepy, Cyclops has a good day, Marvel Girl is not going to throw a dinosaur for you, Iceman is the Troy Barnes of the X-Men, and we say a fond farewell to the Silver Age.

X-Plained:

  • The X-Axis
  • X-Men: Children of the Atom
  • Hard-sell noir
  • How to party like it’s sometime between 1986 and 1991, as filtered through 1999
  • The perils of over-referencing
  • Why Marvel is in the Tommy Westphall Universe
  • The worst guidance counselor ever
  • Villain speeches
  • X-Men: First Class (but not that one)
  • Fun, and several places to find it
  • Angst-free X-Men
  • Gender politics of superheroism
  • X-Men: Season One
  • Teenagers
  • The solution to the Silver-Age-Jean Grey problem
  • Why Iceman matters
  • The Silver Age cram book

You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

As Mentioned in Episode 3 – Cartoons, Lies, and Video Tape

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The X-Men as they appear in the 90s cartoon opening sequence.
We really just never get tired of Cyclops blowing up robots.
Mr. Sinister is here for your logical causality and possibly also your glam rock!
Creepy Gambit would like you to buy a comic book in which he is probably even creepier in that than in the cartoon it’s based on.
Bruce Timm’s love letter to Broadcast Standards & Practices.
Mojo gets meta.
The first-season lineup of X-Men: Evolution.
X-23 is not pleased with your Harley Quinn comparisons.
In 1989, Dwayne McDuffie sent this pitch to Marvel to make a point about some trends pervasive among their black characters.
Ten years after McDuffie’s letter, Marvel introduced Spyke in X-Men: Evolution: A black kid on a skateboard, who is related to the only other black character on the show.
Nothing you tell us will convince us that Lin-Z from Jem and the Holograms is not secretly Dazzler.
Wolverine and the X-Men was a damn fine show, and the fact that it only ran for one season should be a crime with actual, legal repercussions.
Remember that time X-Men: Evolution did a straight-up homage to girl-gang movies? (S2E10, “Walk on the Wild Side”)
Beast sports a Howard the Duck t-shirt to visit Jean Grey in the hospital…
…but testifies before the Senate in briefs. He’s a complex dude.
Jean Grey’s Jim Lee-designed costume is not our favorite.
This is Morph as he appears in the 90s X-Men cartoon. Don’t get too attached.
In the podcast, Rachel said Morph made his comics debut in Exiles, totally forgetting that he’d previously appeared in Age of Apocalypse. Sorry!

We didn’t actually mention this, but you should probably watch it anyway:

For more Chris Sims, check out:

Chris’s X-Men episode guides at Comics Alliance

War Rocket Ajax

Movie Fighters Kickstarter

For more on X-Men, X-Men Evolution, and Wolverine and the X-Men, check out:

X-Men (90s series) on Toonzone

X-Men Evolution on Toonzone

Wolverine and the X-Men on Toonzone

 

As Mentioned In Episode 1 – The Strangest Podcast of Them All

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Magneto, in X-Men #1, also speaks for our feelings about this podcast.
Professor X X-Plains the X-Men in X-Men #1
Every problem with Jean Grey’s characterization, summed up in one panel from X-Men #1
See this? This is why Cyclops is eventually gonna get the girl. (X-Men #1)
Play along at home: How many lies is Professor Xavier telling in these panels from X-Men #1?
One of the many miracles of magnetism portrayed in X-Men #1 is Magneto’s Incredible Mutating Hat.
Everything Magneto knows about supervillainy, he learned from the Wicked Witch of the West. (X-Men #1)
YAYBO! (X-Men #1)
Professor X knows how to decorate in X-Men #2.
Snow grenades, from X-Men #1.
At some point, we’re going to have a long conversation about the X-Men and the concept of the model minority. (X-Men #2)
Natural consequences, as explored in X-Men #2.
This actually happens in X-Men #3, because the Silver Age.
Two for the price of one: Cyclops angstily humblebragging, and the Ubiquitous Plaid Suit! (X-Men #3)

Recommended for new readers:

1 – The Strangest Podcast of Them All

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In which we begin at the beginning: everything clicks with #3, Professor Xavier is a jerk, Magneto is a fearless fashionista, Cyclops gets a name, Jean Grey has a chronic case of the Silver Age, and allegorical diversity is not enough.

X-Plained:

  • Mutant genetics and taxonomy
  • Practical semantics of “X-Men”
  • Charles Xavier’s equally dubious ethics and decorating choices
  • Superhero couture of the Atomic Age
  • Why Cyclops can’t control his powers
  • The miracle of comic-book magnetism
  • A problematic analogy
  • X-books for beginners
  • Snow grenades
  • The word “yaybo”
  • The mystery of the ubiquitous plaid suit

You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!