Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: beast

171 – Badly Punctuated Equilibrium

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which 1991 runs right into 2010, X-Factor: Endgame (and everything after it) never happened, Jay covets the hell out of Cyclops’s X-Factor: Forever jacket, Apocalypse’s alternative universe motives are actually pretty fascinating, and Miles will never call his junk Traitorous Unit.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Strucker siblings (and the Strucker siblings)
  • X-Factor Forever #1-5
  • Earth-TRN237
  • What makes a good Forever comic
  • The best jacket in the X-universe (and some other redesigns)
  • MaXimum pants
  • Ship the ship
  • The Celestial Host
  • Dan Panosian’s Smug Apocalypse
  • The Master Meld variations
  • Force versus heat (and art versus word balloons)
  • En Sabah Nur, thoughtful employer
  • Gammenon the Gatherer and honey-related implements
  • Combat (and podcasting) maneuver names
  • The Apocalypse Journal
  • Eternals versus Deviants versus Inferior, Shitty Humans
  • Slow, crappy science and adorable mutant rats
  • Mutant fertility
  • Arishem the Judge and his magic space-thumb
  • Definitive versions of characters and their relationships
  • En Sabah Nur and Your Changing Body
  • That time X-Factor threw a baby at a robot to save the world
  • DC Comics’s Hellfire Club
  • Trans X-Men
  • But no seriously that jacket

NEXT EPISODE: The Muir Island Saga, part 1

You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 167 – Full Circle

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Dude, you literally gave Ship to X-Factor. (X-Factor #65)
Aw, buddy. (X-Factor #65)
Valid point. (X-Factor #65)
This makes NO SENSE given the original context of the quotation, and I’m irrationally upset about that. (X-Factor #65)
An entirely reasonable reaction to Archangel, TBH. (X-Factor #66)
How you can tell that Important Stuff Is Afoot. (X-Factor #66)
Meet Jen “Not Rachel Summers” Askani! (X-Factor #66)
And that’s why you always leave a note. (X-Factor #66)
Oof. (X-Factor #67)
Oh. Those guys. (X-Factor #67)
Nothing nice ever happens on the moon. (X-Factor #67)
Look at these beautiful weirdos! (X-Factor #67)
Okay, but those animals are creepy as hell. (X-Factor #68)
There are a lot of callbacks to the Dark Phoenix Saga in this story, but this is one of the best. (X-Factor #68)
OH, SNAP. (X-Factor #68)
It’s okay. You’ll get to raise him in the future, in a surprisingly good miniseries! (X-Factor #68)
And the Watcher gets the last word. (X-Factor #68)
Whilce Portacio and Jackson Guice’s unused cover for the original X-Factor #66. Thanks, Comic Book Resources!
And now, The Apocalypse Manifesto, which is not a manifesto at all, but whatever.
I’m not gonna write witty captions for all of these. Just read ’em if you feel like it.
Seriously.
It’s been a very long several weeks. Don’t judge me.
NEXT EPISODE: Live from NYCC, with Chris Claremont and Louise Simonson!

167 – Full Circle

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which things are not as they were; “yaybopunk” is definitely our aesthetic; Cable is officially foreshadowed; and the NYCC live show did in fact go really well!

X-PLAINED:

  • Cable’s childhood
  • Some ECCC plans
  • X-Factor #65-68
  • The Riders of the Storm
  • “Riders on the Storm”
  • Some X-Factors that might have been
  • Babies as drawn by Whilce Portacio
  • Medieval cats
  • Yaybohunk vs. yaybopunk
  • A red herring
  • Jen Askani
  • A kidnapping
  • Visual representations of hacking
  • How to effectively evoke the Dark Phoenix Saga
  • The plural of “Apocalypse”
  • Rad fights on the moon
  • Something you should definitely cosplay
  • Cyclops narration
  • A psychic duel
  • A choice
  • Resets vs. returns
  • The Apocalypse Manifesto
  • The Crafters of Apocalypse

NEXT EPISODE: Live at New York Comic Con, with Chris Claremont & Louise Simonson!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 166 – Proteus Has Two Mommies

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Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
“We don’t need no conservation of mass!” (New Mutants Annual #7)
Harness and Piecemeal. It only gets creepier from here. (New Mutants Annual #7)
This is definitely the last thing you see before you die. (New Mutants Annual #7)
Spoiler: Nope. (New Mutants Annual #7)
99% sure these dudes do not actually know how to play chess. (New Mutants Annual #7)
How great would it have been if Cable had made a Gulliver’s Travels joke? So great. (New Mutants Annual #7)
“Attack them with all your sound effects!” (New Mutants Annual #7)
Spoiler: They do, and it’s not. (New Mutants Annual #7)
OH, THANK GOD. (New Warriors Annual #1)
Piecemeal’s shirt is a little on-the-nose. (New Warriors Annual #1)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WdJg6Duzzf4 (New Warriors Annual #1)
Namorita is great. (New Warriors Annual #1)
Oh, dear me. (New Warriors Annual #1)
I really like all the character-intro pages in this crossover. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #15)
Mother of the year, y’all. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #15)
You’re never too evil or too sexy for some good, old-fashioned filicide! (Uncanny X-Men Annual #15)
You sure are, James. You sure are. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #15)
Inappropriate, Bobby. (X-Factor Annual #6)
None of my math textbooks were ever this psychedelic. (X-Factor Annual #6)
I briefly considered making this visual companion nothing but character-intro pages. (X-Factor Annual #6)
“Kings of Pain? Oh, yeah, isn’t that the crossover where Cyclops encourages a disturbed youth to commit suicide?” (X-Factor Annual #6)
(Nah, actually, he’s comparatively ethical about it; especially considering that the kid is technically already dead and has been for years.) (X-Factor Annual #6)
Okay, then. (X-Factor Annual #6)
NEXT EPISODE: Summers family bullshit on the moon!

LINKS & FURTHER READING

 

166 – Proteus Has Two Mommies

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we finally announce our NYCC panel lineup; Boom Boom is the Gina Linetti of X-Force; we don’t actually know very much about the New Warriors; Cable grows as a person; Cyclops makes an ethically dubious call; Warren Kenneth Worthington III is a jerk; Jay gets very angry at a fictional character; no one gets a happy ending and the skeleton was inside you all along.

X-PLAINED:

  • Penance (but not that Penance)
  • Our actual, for-real NYCC panel details
  • “Kings of Pain”
  • New Mutants Annual #7
  • New Warriors Annual #1
  • Uncanny X-Men Annual #15
  • X-Factor Annual #6
  • The Alliance of Evil
  • Harness
  • Piecemeal
  • Genetech
  • IDIC
  • Symbolic chess
  • The New Warriors
  • The Clean Plate Club from Hell
  • The Pec Twins
  • ReBoot
  • A really screwed up debate
  • Magneto vs. Human Nature
  • Privilege and Callouts

NEXT WEEK: Summers Family Bullshit on the Moon!

COME SEE US LIVE AT NEW YORK COMIC CON, WITH SPECIAL GUESTS CHRIS CLAREMONT AND LOUISE SIMONSON!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 160 – Hank McCoy and the Hickey of Destiny

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Rowr. (X-Factor: Prisoner of Love)
Beast goes hardboiled. (X-Factor: Prisoner of Love)
“Join me on the windowsill, that we may exchange portentous but vague endearments.” (X-Factor: Prisoner of Love)
This seems like it’s going to be a really big deal, but it’s not. (X-Factor: Prisoner of Love)
Eldritch horrors, amirite? (X-Factor: Prisoner of Love)
One of the coolest things about the art in Prisoner of Love is how well Guice makes not-actually-supernatural things look really eerie. (X-Factor: Prisoner of Love)
Well, that can’t be good. (X-Factor: Prisoner of Love)
This page is kinda Prisoner of Love in a nutshell: the symbolism is basically illusory, but it’s so stylish that I don’t really care. (X-Factor: Prisoner of Love)
THAT OUTFIT, THO. (X-Factor: Prisoner of Love)
“This would be so much cooler if one of us could turn into a bear.” (X-Factor: Prisoner of Love)
That’s rough, buddy. (X-Factor: Prisoner of Love)
Well, then. (X-Factor: Prisoner of Love)
AND NOW, CYBURAI! (X-Factor #63)
That window looks super technoorganic, though, right? (X-Factor #63)
NICELY DONE, BOBBY. (X-Factor #63)
“We’ll go rescue your girlfriend in a sec, but first check out our rad new costumes!” (X-Factor #63)
The Cyburai.
Nah, sorry, these are the actual Cyburai. Still definitely a boy band, though. (X-Factor #63)
Spoiler: Optimus Prime dies. (X-Factor #64)
Cheer up, emu kid. (X-Factor #64)
Possibly the most awkward ending image ever. (X-Factor #64)
NEXT EPISODE: Kitty Pryde enrolls at St. Subtext’s Academy for Young Ladies.

LINKS & FURTHER READING

160 – Hank McCoy and the Hickey of Destiny

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which the ladies love Hank McCoy; feelings are terrible; wereStarlins stalk the night; Stan Lee is definitely trying to sell you a car; Iceman has a lot to prove; we bid a reluctant farewell to Louise Simonson’s tenure on X-Factor; and yes, video reviews will be back eventually.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Intelligentsia
  • Jay & Miles at Rose City Comic Con and New York Comic Con
  • Prestige Format comics
  • X-Factor: Prisoner of Love
  • X-Factor #63-64
  • A possible cameo
  • Synthia Naip
  • Several ways to identify individuals from outer space
  • Visual conceits of supernatural noir
  • A deeply unhealthy relationship
  • The mysterious wereStarlin
  • The hickey of destiny
  • Whether Starfox would fuck a crystal
  • Cyburai and/or cyberpunks
  • What makes for good team costumes
  • Post-Iceman cleanup
  • The secret origins of Opal Tanaka
  • Tatsu’o
  • Hiro
  • The Gal Pal Squad
  • Assorted macho bullshit
  • The end of Louise Simonson’s involvement with the central X-line
  • Where to find Dr. Nemesis
  • Magneto’s D&D alignment
  • Whether and when video reviews will return

NEXT EPISODE: Girls’ School from Heck!

You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 158 – No Focus, Less Direction

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Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
“Oh, like THAT’s a big deal or something.” (Uncanny X-Men #273)
That’s a lot of X-Men. (Uncanny X-Men #273)
Bobby, you incorrigible scamp! Way to EXPLODE THE PIPES IN THE SOLE BATHROOM SHARED BY EIGHTEEN PEOPLE. (Uncanny X-Men #273)
The original creative teams will be played by Storm in this panel. (Uncanny X-Men #273)
Awk-ward. (Uncanny X-Men #273)
Telekinetics don’t need shower curtains. (Uncanny X-Men #273)
We unironically adore this ridiculous pair of panels. (Uncanny X-Men #273)
This is a lot creepier if you remember that the Shadow King took over Jean permanently in one of the earths Excalibur visited… (Uncanny X-Men #273)
Meanwhile, in the sexy, sexy Savage Land… (Uncanny X-Men #274)
Between the art and the cascade of dramatic Magneto captions, this splash kinda encapsulates the whole arc. (Uncanny X-Men #274)
Whoa. (Uncanny X-Men #274)
To be fair, that was always a really iffy battle tactic. (Uncanny X-Men #274)
“Also, am I imagining the sudden switch to romance comic framing?” (Uncanny X-Men #274)
No one gets dressed more dramatically than Magneto. (Uncanny X-Men #274)
Zaladane: boring as hell, but damn does she know how to dress! (Uncanny X-Men #274)
That’s prudent, I suppose, for a certain value of the term. (Uncanny X-Men #274)
Please note that:
A) Ka-Zar is calling Rogue “Red” despite the fact that her hair is clearly brown.
B) A mostly-naked man and his tiger buddy are clearly not REMOTELY the weirdest things those S.H.I.E.L.D. troops have shared a transport with.
(Uncanny X-Men #275)
It sure is 1991. (Uncanny X-Men #275)
Every goddamn time. (Uncanny X-Men #275)
Where’s an editorial footnote when you actually need one? (Oh, fine, I’ll do it: See Classic X-Men #12 and #19, respectively! -Jaded Jay) (Uncanny X-Men #275)
Well, that’s convenient timing! (Uncanny X-Men #275)
Murder is negotiable, but frontal nudity? NEVER. (Uncanny X-Men #275)
NEXT WEEK: The end of New Mutants!

LINKS & FURTHER LISTENING
 

158 – No Focus, Less Direction

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Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

 

In which we return triumphant from hiatus; it’s still always Inferno in here; no one should ever under any circumstances date Cameron Hodge; Kenneth is a fundamentally hilarious name; Magneto’s family gets retconned to death; Pterosaurs are still the absolute worst; and Magik totally deserves a sidekick.

X-PLAINED:

  • Ka-Zar’s real name
  • Shanna the She-Devil
  • Our new production set-up
  • What we did on our summer vacations
  • Previously on X-Men
  • Further limits of the mutant metaphor
  • Uncanny X-Men #273-275
  • A crisis of leadership
  • A comic that is a metaphor that is also a comic
  • Cable’s OkCupid profile
  • Changing creative dynamics on the X-line
  • Archangel’s middle name
  • Gambit vs. Wolverine
  • Censorship Steam
  • The protean X-bathroom
  • Magneto’s retconned family
  • Colonel Semyanov
  • A perhaps ill-conceived team-up
  • The Self-Styled Mistress of Magnetism
  • Some remarkably lucky timing
  • The semantics of heel turns
  • Gender and sidekicks
  • Mr. Sinister’s powers

NEXT EPISODE: The end of New Mutants!

You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 157 – Melted to Slag

10 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Contact David to purchase the original!
I’m trying to imagine the Punisher in a bunch of different man-on-the-street segments, and it’s never not funny. (Uncanny X-Men #272)
Dramatis Personae and their dramatic wigs. (Uncanny X-Men #272)
Oh, dear. (Uncanny X-Men #272)
“Also, Nightcrawler had a ghost friend briefly.” (Uncanny X-Men #272)
One of Hodge’s more pronounced Mojo moments. (Uncanny X-Men #272)
Okay, that’s legitimately impressive. (Uncanny X-Men #272)
[Insert Rocketeer reference here.] (Uncanny X-Men #272)
MIND, SPIRIT, and BODY! (Uncanny X-Men #272)
Seriously, though, how is Wolverine’s mask staying on? Discuss. (New Mutants #97)
‘Kay. (New Mutants #97)
Zowie! (New Mutants #97)
Scary Rahne is so good. (New Mutants #97)
“Topless Havok will lead us to victory!” (X-Factor #62)
Included for scale, mostly. (X-Factor #62)
Neither of you deserve her. (X-Factor #62)
Wonder Twins Powers, go! (X-Factor #62)
Damn, that’s satisfying. (X-Factor #62)
That, too. (X-Factor #62)
Spoiler: It’s the second one. (X-Factor #62)
NEXT EPISODE: Jay and Miles take a three-month hiatus. See you in August!