beast – Page 11 – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 193 – Sewers of Tomorrow

April 15, 2018 Jay 8 comments

Listen to the podcast here!

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

On one hand: These dudes are pretty rad. On the other hand: being able to detect normal humans is a pretty ridiculous mutant power. (Uncanny X-Men #277)

John Romita, Jr. can be hit-or-miss, but he definitely draws some rad miscreants of the future. (Uncanny X-Men #277)

WOMP. (Uncanny X-Men #277)

Compulsory Fitzroy Hair Appreciation Moment(TM). (Uncanny X-Men #277)

The Witness, in all his really creepy glory. (Uncanny X-Men #277)

Can you imagine trying to have a conversation with this dude? (Uncanny X-Men #277)

I don’t understand what’s happening with Cyclops’s torso; and, frankly, I don’t want to. (Uncanny X-Men #278)

“Look! A distraction!” (Uncanny X-Men #278)

The first appearance of the letter… (Uncanny X-Men #278)

…and the second, FROM THE SAME FLIPPIN’ PAGE. (Uncanny X-Men #278)

Thaaaaat’s our Archangel! (Uncanny X-Men #278)

Can confirm. -Jay (Uncanny X-Men #278)

*Today, at least. (Uncanny X-Men #278)

Long Island cops are clearly unfamiliar with Cyburai. (Uncanny X-Men #279)

Mystique is exceptionally bad at helping. (Uncanny X-Men #279)

Damnit, Forge. (Uncanny X-Men #279)

Storm’s reaction is appropriate. (Uncanny X-Men #279)

Bobby. Have you MET your parents? (Uncanny X-Men #279)

Best. Date. Ever. (Uncanny X-Men #279)

Remember that time Mikhail Rasputin turned a random skater into a tree? Because that certainly happened. (Uncanny X-Men #280)

Hanging out naked in the rain? This dude is DEFINITELY learning the ropes from Storm. (Uncanny X-Men #280)

DAMNIT, Forge. (Uncanny X-Men #280)

NEXT EPISODE: Brood trouble in the Big Easy!

LINKS & FURTHER READING

Learn all about the Cyburai in Episode 160 – Hank McCoy and the Hickey of Destiny!
Laura Dern is precious and must be protected at all costs.

193 – Sewers of Tomorrow

April 15, 2018 Jay 28 comments

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In which we pour one out for Malcolm and Randall; Cyclops is the worst at fun; Storm is better than you and always will be; Bishop forgets his first name; the X-Men can’t tie bow ties; Iceman’s dad is spectacularly awful; Mikhail Rasputin may have some lingering issues; and Doug Ramsey would probably have been pretty entertained by Hackers if he had survived long enough to see it.

X-PLAINED:

Whether Professor Xavier is dead
Marvel time vs. podcast time
Uncanny X-Men #287-290
The Wit and Wisdom of Henry McCoy
A dance of death and destruction
Styglut
Future flashbacks
Sewers of tomorrow
The Witness
“Fun”
Blood math
A mysterious letter
A terrible date
Several capes
The return of the cyburai
A theoretical Hackers crossover

NEXT EPISODE: Brood trouble in the Big Easy!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 183 – Mutant Death Factor

February 4, 2018 Jay 7 comments

Listen to the podcast here.

All of those facial expressions are great. (X-Men #4)

Ewwwww. (X-Men #4)

File this one under “references that haven’t aged all that coherently.” (X-Men #4)

She yelled so hard it changed the shape of the panels! (X-Men #4)

These jerks and their delightful wardrobe! (X-Men #4)

Why is he allowed to live there, again? (X-Men #4)

That is… an outfit. (X-Men #4)

You can almost hear the inchoate yelling. (X-Men #5)

Cerebro is officially ridiculous. I mean, more ridiculous than usual. (X-Men #5)

Psylocke, just admit that you were sunbathing. No one will judge you. (X-Men #5)

More Fenris fashions. (X-Men #5)

“We worked really hard to reconcile the continuity between these two titles, and we wanted to make damn sure that you appreciated the effort.” (X-Men #5)

Cyclops was right. (X-Men #5)

That’s actually a really cool way to transition into a flashback. (X-Men #5)

“In addition to a Mutant Death Factor, I come with my own exposition!” (X-Men #6)

Someone’s crossed the X-axis! (X-Men #6)

He’s also got a dark pink tie in some panels. (X-Men #6)

SERIOUSLY WHAT ARE THOSE THINGS HE’S STUCK IN (X-Men #7)

Psylocke is the master of the deadpan plot twist. (X-Men #7)

If you don’t automatically hear this line delivered by Christian Kane as Eliot Spencer, I don’t know what to tell you. (X-Men #7)

Maverick. (X-Men #7)

It’s rough to be Alison Blaire. (X-Men #5)

I unironically love this trio of dramatic poses; and also the fact that I absolutely believe that these characters would pose dramatically before fights. (X-Men #6)

Aw. (X-Men #6)

NEXT EPISODE: Larry Stroman somehow manages to make the MLF look cool. (Also, there’s a Hulk crossover.)

LINKS & FURTHER READING

COME SEE US AT EMERALD CITY COMIC CON! We’ll be at T-11 in Artist Alley all weekend; check back here for panel and party details!
I’m fairly sure I’ve linked to “Class of ’64” before, but it’s one of the best-developed reimaginings of the X-Men I’ve found, in or out of canon.
Unfortunately, R. Orion Martin’s “X-Men of Color” series no longer appears to be online, but you can learn more about it here and here. (Also worth reading: Darryl Ayo’s rebuttal to Martin’s article.)

183 – Mutant Death Factor

February 4, 2018 Jay 44 comments

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David is on vacation this week! We hope you enjoy this substitute illustration of two gentlemen enjoying each other’s company.

In which Miles is almost caught up on The Gifted (but still hasn’t seen The Prisoner and should be very ashamed of himself); Omega Red is a cool action figure but a boring character; Professor Xavier definitely knows what you did last night; Fenris remains delightfully trashy; Weapon X had an improbably high survival rate; Sabretooth cleans up pretty well; we need to work some new rules for dividing up character voices; the Mojoverse has terrible employee benefits; and mongoose blood will definitely not give you superpowers.

X-PLAINED:

Refugees from the Age of Apocalypse
Creative use of teleportation
X-Modifiers
Jay & Miles at Emerald City Comic Con
X-Men vol. 2 #4-7
The sitcom model of creative logistics
One way to bring someone back to life
Mutant Death Factor
Omega Red (Arkady Gregorivich)
Wolverine’s school pictures
Gambit’s ponytail and the logistics thereof
Sex at the X-Mansion
Fenris fashion
Ritualistic facepalming
Moira MacTaggert’s nightmares
Formalwear and motorcycle safety
An elegantly choreographed cockblock
Retracting tentacle logistics
Carbonadium synthesizers
Dr. Pepper Twizzlers
Ponytails as moral compasses
Sabretooth’s excellent taste in formalwear
Ornithology
Those big, weird tube handcuff things
Cyclops and Wolverine’s eventual friendship
The return of Longshot
What would happen if you gave a human a transfusion of mongoose blood
Some X-Cellent fanfiction
X-details we’d change

NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor Meets the Hulk!

Special thanks to consulting X-Pert and Actual Scientist Dr. Lauriel Earley!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 178 – Giant-Size Special #6

January 7, 2018 Jay 2 comments

Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

The All-New, All-Yelling X-Men! (X-Men #1)

Say what you want about Jim Lee’s art, but his Magneto is GREAT. (X-Men #1)

You’d think S.H.I.E.L.D. would pay Nick Fury enough to buy a suit that fits. (X-Men #1)

Fun fact: almost every spot illustration of an X-Man that you’ve ever seen comes from this or the following issue. (X-Men #1)

We are worried about Psylocke. (X-Men #1)

CORRECTION: Gambit did not kiss Jean. He kissed a robot replica of Jean, which then exploded. We regret the error, but Gambit probably regrets it more. (X-Men #1)

LOOK AT THIS FASHION GOD. (X-Men #1)

“Also, one of them has an underscore in his Twitter handle.” (X-Men #1)

Magneto, master of text. (X-Men #1)

Another image from early in Lee’s tenure that shows up a lot in other publications. (X-Men #2)

Okay, NOW we get it: Nick Fury spent his entire suit budget on pouches. (X-Men #2)

Never not hilarious. (X-Men #2)

We’re just gonna let this page speak for itself. (X-Men #3)

Raise a glass. (X-Men #3)

NEXT EPISODE: Havok gets a job.

OUR PRODUCER MATT HUNTER IS A SUPER RAD DUDE! HERE IS WHERE YOU CAN FIND HIM ON THE INTERNET:

THE 2017 SUPER DOCTOR ASTRONAUT PETER CORBEAU AWARDS FOR EXCELLENCE AT X-CELLENCE:

Best Writer: Charles Soule, for Astonishing X-Men
Best Artist: Alessandro Vitti, for Iceman
Best Colorist: Felipe Sobreiro, for Generation X
Best Ongoing Solo Series: Iceman
Best Ongoing Team Series: Generation X
Irene Adler Memorial Award for Most Anticipated Upcoming Series: Storm, by Ta Nehisi Coates and Jen Bartel
How-Was-This-So-Good? Award for a Premise That Shouldn’t Have Worked But Did: “Weapons of Mutant Destruction” by Greg Pak
Cyclops Has A Good Day: Champions #12, for good friends being good friends.
So That Happened: Last page of Jean Grey #10
Nate Grey Award for Best Cross-Dimensional Import: Bloodstorm in X-Men: Blue
Coming Back Strong: Hope Summers in Jean Grey
Norman Osborne Award for Gratuitous Resurrection: Logan
Light of Our Life: Honey Badger
These Deep Cuts Form a Picture: Gifted
Best Non-X Marvel Title: Runaways by Rainbow Rowell and Kris Anka

Classic Corbeaus

Buried Treasure: “Weapon X,” as published in Marvel Comics Presents
You Tried: Chris Claremont, circa 1991
Why Havok Didn’t Finish His Dissertation This Year: He was busy being Magistrate on Genosha
Object Permanence Is Overrated Award for Inconsistent Corporeality: Amanda Sefton
Murder Rainbow Award for Most Entertainingly and Chromatically Redesigned Costumes: Late-run New Mutants
Lurking in the Wings Award: Guido Carosella
Sauron’s Jorts Award for Draculas Who Are Not Draculas but Try Real Hard: Crimson and the Blackbirds
Let Us Never Speak of This Again: Charles Xavier’s swimsuit area as distressingly rendered by Whilce Portacio
Major Christopher Summers Award for Most Awkward Family Reunion: Rachel Summers and Jean Grey in “Days of Future Present”
Kitty Pryde Sartorial Exception of Excellence: The Rocketeer ensemble from X-Men: True Friends
On-the-Nose Award for Effective Use of Heavy-Handed Metaphor: Genosha
Best Jacket Ever Award: Cyclops in X-Factor Forever
Erik the Red Award for Justifying the Existence of This Podcast: Jen Askani
Future Past Award for Most Anticipated Upcoming Series Coverage: X-Factor

AND FINALLY:

Best Listeners of Any Podcast, Ever: YOU. Extra hard, this year.

178 – Giant-Size Special #6

December 24, 2017 Jay 78 comments

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Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

In which we enter a new era of X-Men; Magneto reluctantly returns to villainy; Jay tries to like X-Men volume 2; when in doubt, you should open your story with a space fight; Nick Fury has so many pouches; experimenting on babies unsurprisingly backfires; psychic powers are pink; Claremont deserved better; Producer Matt makes his on-air debut; and you (yes, you!) are once again the recipients of a Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Award for Excellence in X-Cellence.

X-PLAINED:

Loa
The 1991 relaunch of X-Men
X-Men vol. 2 #1-3
Chris Claremont’s departure from Marvel
X-Men vs. Uncanny X-Men
Blue Team
Gold Team
Why Magneto is emblematic of Claremont’s vision for the X-Men
Why there are so many copies of X-Men #1
How comics sales are counted
Our very different perspectives on X-Men #1
A space fight
Revision vs. reversion
What may or may not be in Nick Fury’s pouches
Daring loungewear worn well
Fabian Cortez
Flatscans
Disproportionate escalation
The Acolytes
Delgado, kind of, maybe
Several notable absences
The Magneto Protocols
That one time Magneto got turned into a baby
Some dubious science
A semi-invisible plane
Code Silver
Further miracles of magnetism
Producer Matt Hunter
Chiptunes
Podcasting about video games
The Fourth Annual Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Awards for Excellence at X-Cellence
Best X-Toon holiday episodes

NEXT EPISODE: Havok gets a job!

Special thanks to Cordelia for her help on the episode opening!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

173 – The Muir Island Saga, Part 2

November 19, 2017 Jay 43 comments

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In which Abs-lantis will not be denied; “slightly traumatized” is basically the default state of Xavier’s original students; we pick up the slack for Nicieza; Banshee and Moira MacTaggert probably have an active and varied love life; Xavier miscounts the X-Men; we look back over the Claremont/Simonson era of the X-Universe; and Jay makes a case for the re-resurrection of Jean Grey.

X-PLAINED:

X-Men: Red
Namor’s beard
The conclusion of the Muir Island Saga
Uncanny X-Men #280
X-Factor #70.
Cool orange spacesuits that make you immune to telepathy
Off-brand Magneto hats
Literary terrors of our childhoods
Agents DeMarco & Heacock (R.I.P.)
Casual use of nuclear weaponry
The cavalry
The end of the Shadow King
The most dysfunctional timeline
Uncanny X-Men #200-278
The case for an eclectic X-Universe
X-Campus
Resurrections, and when they do and don’t work

NEXT EPISODE: Ed Piskor’s Grand Design

The visual companion to this episode will be up sometime before the end of 2017, by which point Jay’s lungs will hopefully be working again. Yay?

(Seriously, though, fuck this cold. Fuck this cold so much.)

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 172 – The Muir Island Saga, Part 1

November 12, 2017 Jay One comment

Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

But what if his dialogue also had its OWN tiny captions? (Uncanny X-Men #278)

“And that one dude from Final Fight will help me!” (Uncanny X-Men #278)

But whom could this mysterious stranger be? (Uncanny X-Men #278)

LOOK AT THIS EVIL FASHION QUEEN (Uncanny X-Men #278)

There is nothing okay happening here. (Uncanny X-Men #278)

Here, on the other hand, everything is beautiful and nothing hurts. (Uncanny X-Men #278)

That’s not… I mean… you know what? Never mind. (Uncanny X-Men #278)

AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE! (Uncanny X-Men #278)

Honestly, there are so many answers to that question. (Uncanny X-Men #279)

His other power is flashbacks. (Uncanny X-Men #279)

And with that, Chris Claremont flew off into space, to explore new horizons. (Uncanny X-Men #279)

Say what you want about her morals; Evil Rogue has a pretty rad costume. (Uncanny X-Men #279)

OH, HELL, YEAH! (Uncanny X-Men #279)

X-Factor’s New Wave era was brief but distinctive. (X-Factor #69)

It really never gets any more okay, does it? (No.) (X-Factor #69)

Why does Reisz suddenly have red hair? WHO KNOWS? IT’S A MYSTERY! (X-Factor #69)

AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE. (X-Factor #69)

The Art of War involves some remarkably specific ruminations on spandex. (X-Factor #69)

Wait for it… (X-Factor #69)

YES! (X-Factor #69)

Also 2017 in a nutshell. (X-Factor #69)

WELL, THAT CAN’T BE GOOD. (X-Factor #69)

NEXT EPISODE: Don’t smoke, kids. (Also, the Muir Island Saga concludes.)

LINKS & FURTHER READING

Miles talked about Thor: Ragnarok on Panel on Panels #143!
The Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men Wiki
Roland Hedley, Jr. meets X-Factor

172 – The Muir Island Saga, Part 1

November 12, 2017 Jay 48 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

In which you are probably more familiar with this show than Jay and Miles are; Paul Smith makes good art; the Shadow King is so extra that his narration has its own narration; Evil Sexy Moira is a fashion queen; there are absolutely no circumstances in which it is appropriate to use the phrase “fist-o-rama”; Legion gets possessed; and we know absolutely nothing about Pokémon.

X-PLAINED:

Universes where people are other people
What Miles thought of Thor: Ragnorok (spoiler-free)
The Muir Island Saga (Part 1)
Uncanny X-Men #278-279
X-Factor #69
Teflon continuity
Our (lack of) favorite episodes of Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men
The Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men wiki
An alternate timeline
Corpse telepathy
A diabolical plan, sort of
Topicality
Theft
Sci-Fi Warlord Moira MacTaggert
Improbable aerodynamics
The greatest thing
The death of Peter Nicholas
The uncanny genital valley
Interesting ways to expand Cyclops’s powers
X-Pokémon

NEXT EPISODE: The Muir Island Saga concludes!

ART CHALLENGE: Send us your horrifying X-Pokémon! (Note: We were not kidding when we said that we know absolutely nothing about Pokémon, which means that we will probably believe anything you tell us about canon. Have fun!)

You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)