banshee – Page 9 – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

172 – The Muir Island Saga, Part 1

November 12, 2017 Jay 48 comments

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which you are probably more familiar with this show than Jay and Miles are; Paul Smith makes good art; the Shadow King is so extra that his narration has its own narration; Evil Sexy Moira is a fashion queen; there are absolutely no circumstances in which it is appropriate to use the phrase “fist-o-rama”; Legion gets possessed; and we know absolutely nothing about Pokémon.

X-PLAINED:

Universes where people are other people
What Miles thought of Thor: Ragnorok (spoiler-free)
The Muir Island Saga (Part 1)
Uncanny X-Men #278-279
X-Factor #69
Teflon continuity
Our (lack of) favorite episodes of Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men
The Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men wiki
An alternate timeline
Corpse telepathy
A diabolical plan, sort of
Topicality
Theft
Sci-Fi Warlord Moira MacTaggert
Improbable aerodynamics
The greatest thing
The death of Peter Nicholas
The uncanny genital valley
Interesting ways to expand Cyclops’s powers
X-Pokémon

NEXT EPISODE: The Muir Island Saga concludes!

ART CHALLENGE: Send us your horrifying X-Pokémon! (Note: We were not kidding when we said that we know absolutely nothing about Pokémon, which means that we will probably believe anything you tell us about canon. Have fun!)

You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 163 – Shut Up, Conscience

September 17, 2017 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Soviet Plot is my favorite porn mag. (Marvel Comics Presents #10)

In case you were wondering whether this was an Ann Nocenti story: yes. (Marvel Comics Presents #10)

This picnic is terrible. (Marvel Comics Presents #11)

“Just step out back to the kidnap van!” (Marvel Comics Presents #12)

These fuckers are the worst people in the story. (Marvel Comics Presents #13)

Okay, but seriously, I want a fort like this. (Marvel Comics Presents #11)

“We’ll talk about kyriarchy later, kiddo.” (Marvel Comics Presents #13)

“Okay, but… why did you resign?” (Marvel Comics Presents #14)

Oof. (Marvel Comics Presents #14)

In their defense, this is pretty terrifying. (Marvel Comics Presents #15)

If only they’d given him mongoose blood, he could’a gotten super speed! (Marvel Comics Presents #15)

THESE ASSHOLES, SERIOUSLY. (Marvel Comics Presents #15)

“How did your grandpa die, Zackery?” “Narrative necessity.” (Marvel Comics Presents #16)

And then nothing was ever okay again. The end! (Marvel Comics Presents #17)

Cyclops: Still the worst at vacations. (Marvel Comics Presents #17)

Fun fact: the last time Cyclops was actively hallucinating, he kicked Master Mold’s ass. FORESHADOWING? (Marvel Comics Presents #17)

Moira, this is not an acceptable way to science. Who do you think you are, Charles Xavier? (Marvel Comics Presents #18)

Okay, but did you consider that she might be like one of those cool lizards who can run on water? (Marvel Comics Presents #18)

Cyclops may be a jerk to adults, but he’s canonically pretty decent with little kids. (Marvel Comics Presents #18)

…well, fuck. (Marvel Comics Presents #18)

…well, FUCK. (Marvel Comics Presents #19)

Seriously, Dr. Mustache Guy, what the hell is wrong with you? (Marvel Comics Presents #19)

“I need helper robots. I KNOW, I’LL BUILD LITTLE NAKED ALIENS. THAT’LL BE COOL.” (Marvel Comics Presents #19)

More servitors, because if I have to see this nonsense, you do, too. (Marvel Comics Presents #20)

Shut up, Conscience. (Marvel Comics Presents #20)

“Look, they forgot I even EXISTED for three issues!” (Marvel Comics Presents #20)

“But, like, not the person. The concept. But not really in this story. Anyway, you get the idea, right? Right?” (Marvel Comics Presents #20)

This plan is terrible. (Marvel Comics Presents #21)

Aw. That’s… sort of nice? In an about-to-explode kind of way. (Marvel Comics Presents #24)

NEXT EPISODE: The Mutant Revolution, Live at Rose City Comic Con!

LINKS & FURTHER LISTENING

We talked about the Daredevil Inferno tie-ins in Episode 112 – Embers of Inferno (feat. Sam Humphries).
For a lot of discussion of the Cold War, check out Episode 114 – Meltdown.
The Billy Ireland Cartoon Library & Museum is seriously awesome.

163 – Shut Up, Conscience

September 11, 2017 Jay 23 comments

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In which Rose City Comic Con was in fact pretty awesome; we return to Marvel Presents; Colossus has a bad day; Ann Nocenti engages in some bipartisan satire; Cyclops has a bad day; Moira MacTaggert gets possessed again; Master Mold is really hard to kill; you should absolutely not send Jay naked leprechaun pictures; sentinels are basically rationalization engines; and that is really not how consciences work.

NOTE: In this episode, we said that the U.S.S.R. dissolved in 1989. That actually happened in 1991.

ADDITIONAL NOTE: THE NYCC PANEL HAS BEEN MOVED. IT IS ON THURSDAY, NOT FRIDAY.

X-PLAINED:

Sentinel Aesthetics
Prime Sentinels
“Colossus: God’s Country”
Butt physics
The Cold War
Colossus’s feelings about porn
The Billy Ireland Cartoon Library
Some varyingly dubious politics
The Cold Warriors
Alexander, who is probably not actually either Colonel Sanders or Howard Hughes
Bipartisan satire
Jay’s grandfather
An uncomfortable picnic
Limbs
Number Six (but not that one)
Terrible neighbors
“Cyclops: The Retribution Affair”
Bobbie and Mary Campbell
Master Mold (again)
Stephen Lang (again)
Servitors
A well-honed lobster alert system
The Retribution Virus
Conscience
A terrible party
Kitty Pryde’s Gal Pal Squad
Community Organizer Magneto

NEXT EPISODE: Live from Rose City Comic Con!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 158 – No Focus, Less Direction

August 6, 2017 Jay 4 comments

Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

“Oh, like THAT’s a big deal or something.” (Uncanny X-Men #273)

That’s a lot of X-Men. (Uncanny X-Men #273)

Bobby, you incorrigible scamp! Way to EXPLODE THE PIPES IN THE SOLE BATHROOM SHARED BY EIGHTEEN PEOPLE. (Uncanny X-Men #273)

The original creative teams will be played by Storm in this panel. (Uncanny X-Men #273)

Awk-ward. (Uncanny X-Men #273)

Telekinetics don’t need shower curtains. (Uncanny X-Men #273)

We unironically adore this ridiculous pair of panels. (Uncanny X-Men #273)

This is a lot creepier if you remember that the Shadow King took over Jean permanently in one of the earths Excalibur visited… (Uncanny X-Men #273)

Meanwhile, in the sexy, sexy Savage Land… (Uncanny X-Men #274)

Between the art and the cascade of dramatic Magneto captions, this splash kinda encapsulates the whole arc. (Uncanny X-Men #274)

Whoa. (Uncanny X-Men #274)

To be fair, that was always a really iffy battle tactic. (Uncanny X-Men #274)

“Also, am I imagining the sudden switch to romance comic framing?” (Uncanny X-Men #274)

No one gets dressed more dramatically than Magneto. (Uncanny X-Men #274)

Zaladane: boring as hell, but damn does she know how to dress! (Uncanny X-Men #274)

That’s prudent, I suppose, for a certain value of the term. (Uncanny X-Men #274)

Please note that:
A) Ka-Zar is calling Rogue “Red” despite the fact that her hair is clearly brown.
B) A mostly-naked man and his tiger buddy are clearly not REMOTELY the weirdest things those S.H.I.E.L.D. troops have shared a transport with.
(Uncanny X-Men #275)

It sure is 1991. (Uncanny X-Men #275)

Every goddamn time. (Uncanny X-Men #275)

Where’s an editorial footnote when you actually need one? (Oh, fine, I’ll do it: See Classic X-Men #12 and #19, respectively! -Jaded Jay) (Uncanny X-Men #275)

Well, that’s convenient timing! (Uncanny X-Men #275)

Murder is negotiable, but frontal nudity? NEVER. (Uncanny X-Men #275)

NEXT WEEK: The end of New Mutants!

LINKS & FURTHER LISTENING

The Lightning and the Storm (Miles & Elisabeth’s now-complete Thor podcast)
Jay’s Instagram

158 – No Focus, Less Direction

August 6, 2017 Jay 36 comments

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In which we return triumphant from hiatus; it’s still always Inferno in here; no one should ever under any circumstances date Cameron Hodge; Kenneth is a fundamentally hilarious name; Magneto’s family gets retconned to death; Pterosaurs are still the absolute worst; and Magik totally deserves a sidekick.

X-PLAINED:

Ka-Zar’s real name
Shanna the She-Devil
Our new production set-up
What we did on our summer vacations
Previously on X-Men
Further limits of the mutant metaphor
Uncanny X-Men #273-275
A crisis of leadership
A comic that is a metaphor that is also a comic
Cable’s OkCupid profile
Changing creative dynamics on the X-line
Archangel’s middle name
Gambit vs. Wolverine
Censorship Steam
The protean X-bathroom
Magneto’s retconned family
Colonel Semyanov
A perhaps ill-conceived team-up
The Self-Styled Mistress of Magnetism
Some remarkably lucky timing
The semantics of heel turns
Gender and sidekicks
Mr. Sinister’s powers

NEXT EPISODE: The end of New Mutants!

You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 157 – Melted to Slag

April 30, 2017 Jay 10 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Contact David to purchase the original!

I’m trying to imagine the Punisher in a bunch of different man-on-the-street segments, and it’s never not funny. (Uncanny X-Men #272)

Dramatis Personae and their dramatic wigs. (Uncanny X-Men #272)

Oh, dear. (Uncanny X-Men #272)

“Also, Nightcrawler had a ghost friend briefly.” (Uncanny X-Men #272)

One of Hodge’s more pronounced Mojo moments. (Uncanny X-Men #272)

Okay, that’s legitimately impressive. (Uncanny X-Men #272)

[Insert Rocketeer reference here.] (Uncanny X-Men #272)

MIND, SPIRIT, and BODY! (Uncanny X-Men #272)

Seriously, though, how is Wolverine’s mask staying on? Discuss. (New Mutants #97)

‘Kay. (New Mutants #97)

Zowie! (New Mutants #97)

Scary Rahne is so good. (New Mutants #97)

“Topless Havok will lead us to victory!” (X-Factor #62)

Included for scale, mostly. (X-Factor #62)

Neither of you deserve her. (X-Factor #62)

Wonder Twins Powers, go! (X-Factor #62)

Damn, that’s satisfying. (X-Factor #62)

That, too. (X-Factor #62)

Spoiler: It’s the second one. (X-Factor #62)

NEXT EPISODE: Jay and Miles take a three-month hiatus. See you in August!

157 – Melted to Slag

April 30, 2017 Jay 46 comments

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Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

In which the X-Tinction Agenda reaches its Return of the Jedi; Wolverine is a weaponized nuisance; HR would like a word with Gambit; Havok gets framed; Cameron Hodge is the great unifier; Genosha is revolting; you don’t get to make a threatening speech about someone else’s powers; Jean Grey is tired of your bullshit; and Jay and Miles may or may not dive into the Siege Perilous!

X-PLAINED:

The Law of Conservation of Plot Elements
Uncanny X-Men #272
New Mutants #97
X-Factor #62
The Story So Far
Glasses fashions in comics
The difference between Batman and the Punisher
How to tell that something has gone terribly wrong
Acceptable pants
Some really sketchy judicial process
A ruse
Several retcons concerning Wolverine
Consequence-free impaling
Chekhov’s genetic engineering
Louise Simonson’s final issue of New Mutants
The relative durability of mutants
A number of prescient threats
This one time Jay and Miles got paid to throw a bunch of printers down a flight of stairs
Summers Brothers team-ups
A very cathartic fight
Thoughts on books as physical artifacts and collecting comics
Places to jump into long X-series on Marvel Unlimited
Our plans for the hiatus

THE PODCAST WILL BE ON HIATUS DURING MAY, JUNE, AND JULY, 2017! SEE YOU IN AUGUST!

You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 156 – Genosha Strikes Back

April 23, 2017 Jay 6 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Contact David to purchase the original!

Just in case you’ve forgotten since last week! (Uncanny X-Men #271)

Here, have some New Mutants, while we’re at it. (Uncanny X-Men #271)

The Technicolor Knight Returns! (Uncanny X-Men #271)

When even Evil!Sexy Moira has better scientific ethics than you, you’ve got some thinking to do, Moreau. (Uncanny X-Men #271)

“I mean, I know I played a central role in subjugating an entire people and subjecting them to unspeakable horrors, but sometimes I felt kinda bad about it!” (Uncanny X-Men #271)

She’s not wrong, dude. (Uncanny X-Men #271)

Awk-ward. (Uncanny X-Men #271)

Ahhh, THERE it is! (Uncanny X-Men #271)

Spoiler: Nah. (Uncanny X-Men #271)

Liefeld kick! Take a drink! (New Mutants #96)

“Also can I draw on her face with a sharpie?” (New Mutants #96)

When threatened, the wild Jubilee will fan out her tail in a display meant to intimidate predators. (New Mutants #96)

Jean’s face, tho. “Ugh, AGAIN.” (X-Factor #61)

Because we never get tired of those dramatis personae pages. (X-Factor #61)

Bogdanove’s Hodge really is the best Hodge. (X-Factor #61)

I’m pretty sure this is the first hint we’ve gotten at Cable’s mutant powers. (Based on eventually-established continuity, he should be dying of the T-O virus right now, but that wouldn’t be written in until much later.) (X-Factor #61)

These nerds. (X-Factor #61)

I wonder what’s in Xavier’s telepathically-derived files! (X-Factor #61)

That Charles Xavier keeps detailed files on which of his students want to bang each other is the least surprising thing I’ve read in my life. (X-Factor #61)

“I mean, except for the chokehold part! (X-Factor #61)

NEXT EPISODE: Revenge of the return of the X-Men!

LINKS & FURTHER READING

“Politics and the English Language,” by George Orwell, is one of Jay’s favorite essays of all time.
Now you, too, can be robot Jean Valjean.
Here’s Elle Collins’s X-Men reboot pitch at the late, great Comics Alliance.

156 – Genosha Strikes Back

April 23, 2017 Jay 28 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

In which we hit the Empire Strikes Back of X-Tinction Agenda; it’s hard to be Laura Kinney; the psychic knife makes its debut; Evil!Sexy Moira retains some moral high ground; if your society is built on slavery, your society deserves to crumble; words mean things; Havok would be a terrible housecat; the mutants do not have the patent on stupidity; the opposite of blades is cotton; we give Cameron Hodge’s severed head a pep talk; and Cyclops goes full Peralta.

X-PLAINED:

Uncanny X-Men #271, New Mutants #96, X-Factor #61
Laura Kinney’s brief babysitting career
Our upcoming hiatus
Dramatis personae
A figurative battering ram
Focused totality
Best insults of the 1990s
A debate
Ethics of rhetoric
Housecat Havok
Skittering
Mutate numbering systems
The Prisoner vs. Les Miserables
The slow disintegration of reality as we know it
Sneaking with Cable
A singularly anticlimactic cover
A lushly illustrated report
Increasingly petty revenge
S.H.I.E.L.D.’s most advanced bald cap
A rising storm
Art teams
What we’d like to see out of an X-Men cinematic reboot

NEXT EPISODE: Return of the Revenge of the X-Men

You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)