Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

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As Mentioned in Episode 307 – Ugly Mootants Only

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
It’s okay. They’re just gonna end up in another dimension. Kind of. I guess. (Cable #15)
If Thornn had managed to catch her, would she have joined up with Artie and Leech to become an unstoppable triumvirate of moppets? The world may never know. (Cable #15)
NOW KISS (Cable #15)
The Ceremony of Light. (Cable #15)
In six years, Paige is definitely going to be the drunk girl standing outside the women’s bathroom and very sincerely telling everyone who goes in or comes out how beautiful they are. (Generation X #5)
Just don’t try any allogrooming and you’ll be okay. (Generation X #5)
I LOVE THIS TURTLE. (Generation X #5)
Not Davis, and that’s okay. (Generation X #5)
There is… a lot going on here. (Generation X #6)
You may have a lot of monitors, Dark Beast, but you’ll never top Cameron Hodge as Quintessential Villain with a Roomful of Monitors. (Generation X #6)
Bachalo draws such good Wolverine! (Generation X #6)
Next Episode: holy shit jay wrote an x-men comic

LINKS & FURTHER SHAMELESS PROMOTION:

  • You can find relevant info about X-Men: Marvels Snapshots #1 over here…
  • …and find a comics shop from which to purchase it here…
  • …or just go straight to our favorite, Books With Pictures!

307 – Ugly Mootants Only

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Cable has clearly inherited his father’s inability to go on a date that doesn’t end disastrously; Husk is a lightweight; we are very taken with a turtle; you really don’t want to run into the other Hemingway in an elevator, either; Jubilee can speak in logos; and Wolverine gives some fatherly advice.

X-PLAINED:

  • One way to get your powers back
  • Cable #15
  • Generation X #5-6
  • X-Men: Marvels Snapshots #1 (Coming September 16)
  • Cable, in general
  • A date
  • “Sheer” fabrics
  • What we’d bring to desert islands
  • Sarah (Marrow)
  • The Ceremony of Light
  • Several generations of mutant teenagers
  • Generation X and its members (more) (again)
  • Chamber’s socks
  • Gateway’s taste in television
  • Husk’s extremely low alcohol tolerance
  • Some cool lettering
  • Banshee is to Chris Bachalo as Nightcrawler is to Alan Davis
  • Fridge wolves
  • NYC celebrity encounters
  • The ongoing legacy of X-kids with gross powers
  • Teenagers
  • Hemingway, but not that Hemingway
  • The return of Artie and Leech
  • Bones
  • How we would incorporate the X-Men into the MCU

NEXT EPISODE: Snapshots!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 296 – Hard Choices

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
“Are you coming too, mysterious hooded stranger? My sister, Carmen Sandiego, would love to have you along!” (Amazing X-Men #1)
Danger Room cold open, Earth-295-style! (Amazing X-Men #1)
“Just a few more hours and a few dozen more cigarettes until Tom Waits karaoke night!” (Amazing X-Men #1)
“For further details, my X-Men, you must buy every other X-comic on the stands. Excelsior!” (Amazing X-Men #1)
As the famous thinker Parappa the Rapper once so wisely said: you gotta believe. (Amazing X-Men #1)
Earth-295 Sentinels may be lacking in toboggan hats and robot one-piece swimsuits, but they’re still pretty impressive. (Amazing X-Men #1)
Half unspooled VHS tape, half Slinky, all nuisance. (Amazing X-Men #2)
“Go easy on ’em, X-Men – they remembered to use our logo font, and that was very considerate of them.” (Amazing X-Men #2)
Banshee’s facial expression speaks for us all. (Amazing X-Men #2)
Okay, that’s legit terrifying. (Amazing X-Men #2)
Quicksilver? More like FRIPsilver! (Amazing X-Men #2)
If the title wasn’t already taken, Magneto’s autobiography would be called The Brood Saga. (Amazing X-Men #3)
It takes a true villain to make “being stretchy” an intimidating superpower. (Amazing X-Men #3)
Mary Poppins: The Snyder Cut. (Amazing X-Men #3)
Shaking Angel down for information is an X-Men rite of passage. (Amazing X-Men #3)
Open wide and say “flashback”! (Amazing X-Men #3)
you guys I think I’m in the wrong church (Amazing X-Men #4)
This may be bad, but at least he doesn’t have to die of a mutant-targeting virus twice in the Age of Apocalypse the way he does in Earth-616… (Amazing X-Men #4)
Generation Next – ripping our hearts out even when it’s someone else’s comic! (Amazing X-Men #4)
I know you’re mad at Gambit, Rogue, but did you really have to punch his legs off? (Amazing X-Men #4)
Aww, damn – he was just one week away from retirement! (Amazing X-Men #4)
*raises lighter* (Amazing X-Men #4)
NEXT EPISODE: This guy.

296 – Hard Choices

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Magneto doesn’t really do work/live divide; Amazing X-Men is a bit of a misnomer; Exodus is the lawful evil to Fabian Cortez’s chaotic evil; smoking is bad for you; moisture molecular inversion is fairly definitely not a real thing; Earth-295 Quicksilver and Earth-616 Cyclops would probably get along; OSHA would probably like a word with the Madrii; Gambit had ONE JOB; and there are no superheroes in the Age of Apocalypse.

X-PLAINED:

  • An unlikely team-up
  • Relative amazingness
  • Amazing X-Men #1-5
  • Color separations
  • Comics credits
  • The Brotherhood of Mutants and/or Chaos
  • The Great Human Airlift
  • Exodus (more) (again)
  • Best Quicksilver (Earth-295)
  • Abyss
  • A dubiously aerodynamic cape
  • One last job
  • Several points of semantic distinction
  • Lone Nanny & Cub
  • The most punchable man on Earth-295
  • A difficult choice
  • What it means to be X-Men
  • Dick Valentine
  • Jamie Madrox (Earth-295)
  • A world without superheroes
  • Universe numbering

NEXT EPISODE: X-Man!

CORRECTION: The line about fence-straddling that Jay attributed to Wonder Woman was in fact spoken by Hawkgirl.

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop! This June, we’ll be donating all of the profits to Trans Lifeline!

As Mentioned in Episode 281 – Memories

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Meet Code Blue. No, not that one. The other one. (X-Force #40)
Feral, disguised. (X-Force #40)
SERIOUSLY HE LOOKS JUST LIKE GRAYDON CREED (X-Force #40)
Well, that, too. (X-Force #41)
Domino’s other mutation is a really complicated relationship with gravity. (X-Force #41)
Happier times. (X-Force #41)
Feral’s font has leveled up. This is not a drill. (X-Force #41)
Huh. (X-Force #41)
James, I know you think you’re tough, but you are absolutely unequipped for a snark fight with Emma Frost. (X-Force #42)
“No, a GOOD reason.” (X-Force #42)
THE ACCENT (X-Force #42)
Would the world survive these two on a team together? (X-Force #42)
NEXT EPISODE: We get really intense about Adam X the X-Treme.

LINKS & FURTHER ILLUSTRATION:

281 – Memories

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Warpath and Colossus should start a support group; X-Force gets a new HQ; we make an unprecedently large number of musical-theater references; Cable is a highly qualified individual; tranq darts don’t work like that; Emma Frost gives fairly decent advice; the malls of Boston will never be the same again; and we need mutant body diversity now.

CONTENT WARNING: This episode involves discussion of child sexual abuse, murder, and cruelty to animals. If you want to skip that part, head to 34:42 for happier times!

X-PLAINED:

  • An early adventures of the brothers Proudstar
  • The new New Mutants trailer
  • Starlight Express
  • X-Force #40-42
  • Feral (Maria Callasantos) (more) (again)
  • X-Force’s new digs
  • Little Shop of X-Force
  • Thornn (Lucia Callasantos)
  • Code Blue
  • Cable’s law degree
  • How tranq darts (don’t) work
  • A lot of murder
  • Several family reunions
  • A terrifying team-up
  • Body diversity and fat representation in X-books
  • Feral’s Jellicle name
  • Cats, kind of, I guess

NEXT EPISODE: We get really intense about Adam X the X-Treme.

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 279 – Giant-Size Special #8

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
IT BEGINS! (Generation X #1)
Seriously, though, that is really gross. (Generation X #1)
I want to read a miniseries about this kid. (Generation X #1)
They are so very, very parents. (Generation X #1)
Sean Cassidy, OF ALL PEOPLE, should know EXACTLY how dangerous trees can be. (Generation X #1)
An old friend–of ours, and apparently of Monet’s. (Generation X #1)
Emplate is so cool and creepy! (Generation X #1)
Also cool and creepy: Chamber. (Generation X #1)
The covers of this series are so inviting. (Generation X #2)
For the record, HICK is worth 13 points to LOSER’s 5. (Generation X #2)
Penance is nothing if not efficient.
Ooh, Monet is GREAT. (Generation X #2)
That horror-movie framing! (Generation X #2)
DAMN, Paige! (Generation X #3)
Chamber is a neat dude. (Generation X #3)
Nanny X-plains puberty. (Generation X #3)
Mondo and Cordelia are… complicated. (Generation X #3)
If it weren’t for the two troubles in a row, this cover would be pretty darn near perfect, gradient and all. (Generation X #4)
Bachalo’s marginalia is WONDERFUL. (Generation X #4)
Seriously, so good. (Generation X #4)
Hi, Eliot. (Generation X #4)
Not all the images are gonna be of these guys, but it was tempting. (Generation X #4)
Fortunately, sometimes they intersect with plot. (Generation X #4)
And sometimes not. (Generation X #4)
I… I just love them so much. (Generation X #4)
Orphanmaker grew up! (Generation X #4)
Meanwhile, everything is terrible. (Generation X #4)
Well, maybe not everything. (Generation X #4)
This is one of my favorite scenes in any comic, ever. (Generation X #4)
And then, Legion Quest ended. (Generation X #4)
So, yeah, this is a thing, and you can watch it here should you find yourself so inclined.
NEXT WEEK: Jay & Miles on vacation!
NEXT EPISODE: Bishop goes solo!

LINKS & FURTHER FESTIVITY:


The full list of winners of the 2019 Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Awards for Excellence at X-Cellence will be posted separately on 12/30.

279 – Giant-Size Special #8

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Jay would absolutely fight Christmas; we welcome guest X-Perts Christina Strain and Chip Zdarsky; a gift arrives; we consider the relationship of Generation X to Generation X; it is really not okay to leave your discarded skins lying around; D.O.A. is inordinately delightful; Chamber is the punk Shadow; Gateway goes to school; the Generation X TV movie is very, very bad; telepathy is free; the grown-ups are all right; home sucks; freedom rocks; Mondo deserves better; Matt Frewer did most things first; Kevin McNulty has appeared in literally everything; and you remain our favorites, ever.

X-PLAINED:

  • Mutation, for some value of the term
  • Holidays and the observation thereof
  • December 9
  • Jay’s ideal Christmas
  • How Chris Bachalo’s name is pronounced (more) (again) (sorry)
  • Several promotions
  • Generation X
  • Generation X #1-4
  • Generation X
  • Husk (Paige Guthrie)
  • M (Monet St. Croix)
  • Skin (Angelo Espinosa)
  • Synch (Everett Thomas)
  • Chamber (Jonothon Starsmore)
  • The New Xavier School for Gifted Youngsters
  • Counting Genises
  • The housekeeping implications of body horror
  • The M retcon
  • Continuity in costume design
  • The Danger Grotto
  • Emplate (somewhat)
  • D.O.A.
  • Penance (not that one)
  • Scrabble burns
  • An alternate take on power duplication
  • Mondo ()
  • The return of Nanny and the Orphanmaker
  • Eliot ()
  • A tentative friendship
  • How the Age of Apocalypse comes to Generation X
  • A movie that never fails to disappoint
  • The vagaries of adaptation
  • The best on-screen Emma Frost
  • Gang emails of the 1990s
  • Refrax
  • Buff
  • William Castle
  • The comedic genealogy of Max Headroom
  • Hatley Castle
  • The 2019 Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Awards for Excellence at X-Cellence

NEXT WEEK: Jay & Miles go on vacation!
NEXT EPISODE: Bishop goes solo!

Special thanks to Christina Strain, Douglas Wolk, and Chip Zdarsky; and–always–to Matt Hunter, David Wynne, Tea Fougner, Anna Sheffey, and all of our patrons and listeners!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 278 – A Sheep in Wolf’s Clothing

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Fun times with the MLF. (X-Force Annual #3)
They were really pushing the idea that he was Roberto. (X-Force Annual #3)
I get that it’s supposed to be a bad thing; but, man, Dani’s horse got AWESOME. (X-Force Annual #3)
“Of course, they won’t need to figure out my password if they walk in on me journaling in IMAX.” (X-Force Annual #3)
The Collective Man! (X-Force Annual #3)
These two are just really not good at false identities, are they? (X-Force Annual #3)
Sometimes a family is a ghost and her imaginary baby. (X-Force Annual #3)
Alas, contrary to the implications of this cover, Storm will not be seduced by a giant statue of a lady in this story. (X-Man Annual #3)
“Chess is sexy, right?” (X-Man Annual #3)
Gene Ha draws a really terrific Storm. (X-Man Annual #3)
Do they usually? (X-Man Annual #3)
“Squares.” (X-Man Annual #3)
She’s not wrong. (X-Man Annual #3)
(It’s okay; it’s only a dream.) (X-Man Annual #3)
These are the most lackluster Lords Cardinal I’ve ever seen. (X-Man Annual #3)
“Even sixth base?” (X-Man Annual #3)
I unrepentantly love this silliness. (X-Man Annual #3)
Ugh, seriously, so good. (X-Man Annual #3)
NEXT EPISODE: NEXT EPISODE: Giant-Size Winter Special, feat. Christina Strain & Chip Zdarsky…
…hope you survive the experience!

LINKS & FURTHER ATROCITIES:

278 – A Sheep in Wolf’s Clothing

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Moonstar really wasn’t fooling anybody; Bird Brain is somehow still alive; Cassidy Keep is weird; Gene Ha draws excellent Storm; Reeva Payge makes her sole comics appearance; and Shinobi Shaw is wrong about everything.

X-PLAINED:

  • A not-particularly-cunning disguise
  • Upcoming coverage
  • X-Force Annual #3
  • X-Men Annual #3
  • The MLF
  • Reignfire (more) (again)
  • Moonstar (more) (again)
  • An unconventional way to keep a secret diary
  • A bittersweet semi-reunion
  • 3Peace
  • Murphy Keep
  • A ghost, maybe
  • The kind of thing that happens at Cassidy Keep
  • An excellent burn
  • Leather
  • “Neurotoxins”
  • Sex House as the definitive artifact of the 2010s
  • How not to draw someone having a nightmare
  • A very short-lived version of the Hellfire Club
  • How not to villain
  • Coming to terms with bad fictional tech

NEXT EPISODE: Giant-Size Winter Special, feat. Christina Strain & Chip Zdarsky!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!