azazel – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 450 – Live at the Clinton Street Theater

May 26, 2024 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

A smooth criminal. (Uncanny X-Men #428)

X-Men: First Class: The Draco (Uncanny X-Men #428)

Well, then. (Uncanny X-Men #428)

I love that Wolverine tries to stop nude Nightcrawler from stealing the plane by throwing a beer can at it. (Uncanny X-Men #429)

You’d think he could at least let the cafeteria staff know he was planning on sleeping in there. (Uncanny X-Men #429)

Annie, no. (Uncanny X-Men #429)

This Hell sucks. (Uncanny X-Men #431)

And then Mystique flew violently out of a child’s abdomen, in one of the less bizarre scenes in this story arc. (Uncanny X-Men #431)

Dinner in Hell. (Uncanny X-Men #432)

*grumble grumble Daimon Hellstrom grumble* (Uncanny X-Men #432)

So, that happened. (Uncanny X-Men #433)

Either, really. (Uncanny X-Men #434)

Ginniyeh is the only remotely adequate demon in this arc. (Uncanny X-Men #434)

Awkward. (Uncanny X-Men #434)

NEXT EPISODE: Business as usual.

LINKS & FURTHER NONSENSE

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450 – Live at the Clinton Street Theater

May 26, 2024 Jay 6 comments

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In which we celebrate our tenth anniversary by X-Plaining what may be the most reviled X-arc; you should not try this at home; Mystique is so much better than this story; Azazel is a really boring devil; Nightcrawler should probably be missing a hand; the Xavier School definitely does not have an HR department; and we would prefer that you not pee on Iceman.

X-PLAINED:

Nightcrawler’s (most recent) parentage
Uncanny X-Men #428-434
X-Men Blue: Origins #1
The X-Men, like, in general
Nightcrawler (Kurt Wagner)
Some narrative choices
Mystique
Baron Christian Wagner
Marvel Europe
Azazel
Church sex
Nightstreaker
Isla des Demonas
Foibles of Warren Kenneth Worthington III
Annie and Carter Ghazikhanian
Abyss
Kiwi Black
The Cheyarafim and Neyaphem
Bad times with psychic therapy
Post-traumatic supervillainy
Uncool Hell
A miracle of magnetism
The only cool thing in Uncool Hell
A very elegant retcon
X-Muppets
Characters who deserve more page space
Miles’s favorite X-Person
What the Worthington Corporation does
A character who could reasonably be Azazel’s kid

NEXT EPISODE: Back to X-business as usual!

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As Mentioned on Episode 5 – The Retcon That Walks Like a Man

May 11, 2014 Jay 12 comments

Listen to the podcast here!

Giant-Size X-Men #1. Prepare for forty years of riffs on this cover.

The best-dressed mob in Germany.

And THAT’S how you punch a tractor.

“Oh, y’know. Fight crime, see the world, get your memory rewritten every few weeks, maybe go on a really fucked up date with Dracula…”

When Xavier finds him, Thunderbird is literally wrestling a buffalo to death.

Sunfire’s first appearance, in X-Men #64.

Most of the New & Different X-Men get a full page or two to join the team. Banshee? Two panels. He’s just that chill.

“Think you can just walk away, Wolverine? We’ll come after you with our deadliest weapon yet: Alpha Flight crossovers!”

Wow. You… certainly made some choices there, Professor.

Sunfire is absolutely delightful.

At this point, I’m pretty sure he’s just messing with them for fun.

This is the second of three times Sunfire calls Nightcrawler “Misfit” on one page–which is actually a pretty welcome break from the X-Men referring to each other exclusively by ethnic epithets. Len Wein, DON’T DO THAT.

This jerk.

This is pretty much the platonic ideal of an X-Men fight scene: teamwork, cool powers, and narration busting Kool-Aid-Man-style through the fourth wall.