“As completely as I understand what happens when two people like each other very much.” (X-Men #23)
And so forth. (X-Men #23)
And you thought that conversations with YOUR grandparents were awkward. (X-Men #22)
The creepiest thing about Sinister is the moments of profound disconnect when it’s clearly Sinister, but everyone reacts to him like he’s just a regular dude. (X-Men #22)
In which Scott Summers continues to never under any circumstances be allowed to take an actual vacation. (X-Men #22)
Seriously. (X-Men #23)
Heralding several decades of nonsense. (X-Men #23)
NEXT EPISODE: Dracula, live at Vegas Valley Comic Book Festival!
In which it has been a pretty intense month; there is a lot to unpack about Psylocke; we are confused by hip teen lingo; Cyclops definitively lacks game; organized crime is anything but; and the mystery of the third Summers brother officially begins.
X-PLAINED:
How the Maximoffs joined the Avengers
X-Cutioner’s Song fallout
An X-ceptionally convoluted set of retcons
X-Men #20-23
How not to repair an airplane
One way to get out of an awkward conversation
Several Betsys Braddock
Revanche
Dubiously organized crime
Kwannon
Nyorin’s diary
Awkward family conversations
Mike Milbury
Twin Peaks Season 3
Akira Yoshida
NEXT EPISODE: Dracula in Vegas!
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
“So, y’know–business as usual.” (Amazing Spider-Man #313)
The Ghostbusters references just keep coming! (Amazing Spider-Man #313)
HE’S NOT WRONG. (Peter Parker: The Spectacular Spider-Man #146)
This is in fact literally what it is like to work in publishing, all the time. (Peter Parker: The Spectacular Spider-Man #147)
CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW JARVIS’S MOM IS A HUGE WRESTLING AFICIONADO? (Avengers #298)
Well, then. (Avengers #298)
He does this every time he fights a possessed machine. (Avengers #298)
No, seriously. Every time. (Avengers #299)
Stories involving Nanny and the Orphanmaker are never not super sad and messed up. (Avengers #299)
That one time the Avengers got back together in a tie-in to someone else’s crossover event. (Avengers #300)
Never leave your house. Seriously. (Power Pack #42)
Actually, no. Your house isn’t safe, either. (Power Pack #42)
And then a group of young children looked back nostalgically at the time they fought Sabretooth in a sewer. (Power Pack #44)
Aw. (Power Pack #44)
LIES. (The Mutant Misadventures of Cloak and Dagger #4)
For full effect, you have to imagine the narration being read by David Attenborough. (Daredevil #262)
And that was how Daredevil beat up a vacuum cleaner. (Daredevil #262)
It’s actually pretty surprising that no one else thought to do anything with possessed hospital equipment, because that is TERRIFYING. (Daredevil #263)
Officer Drillbit, in all his glory. (Daredevil #265)
For 1989 Daredevil, this ending is positively chipper. (Daredevil #265)
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
In which we cover (almost) all of the Inferno tie-ins with the help of writer Sam Humphries; the Marvel Universe used to be really X-Centric; Jarvis is unstoppable; Daredevil fights a vacuum cleaner; it’s probably best not to ask about the whole Celestial Madonna thing; Power Pack gets incredibly upsetting; working in comics makes you appreciate crossovers on a whole new level; and we’d all really have liked to have seen Guy Davis’s Inferno.
X-PLAINED:
Peter Quill’s brief music career
Widget
The Amazing Spider-Man #311-313
Spectacular Spider-Man #146-148
Web of Spider-Man #47-48
Avengers #298-300
Power Pack #42-44
Daredevil #262, 263, 265
Cloak and Dagger (vol. 3) #4
Fantastic Four #322-324
Inferno, as a whole
The fate of Madelyne Pryor
Jay’s Madelyne Pryor song
How working in comics taught us to appreciate crossovers
Our ideal Inferno artists
NEXT EPISODE: So. Much. Wolverine.
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
In which Beast’s DNA is basically held together with spit and baling wire; Boom Boom wins MVP; Angel goes full goth; Cameron Hodge loses his head; Cyclops is basically a Silent Hill protagonist; and the Nebraska Department of Social Services is probably not adequately equipped to deal with Mister Sinister.
X-PLAINED:
The Horsemen of Death
X-Factor #32-35
Xartans
Superheroic triage
A vague prophecy
Fake Avengers
Fake-band disambiguation
KiLLeR DWaRfS
Crippled Puppies
Audiophile Apocalypse
Shopping
Dubiously zealous trademark protection
Acronym disambiguation
The death of Candy Southern
The not-exactly death of Cameron Hodge
Nanny
Orphan-Maker
Baby Race 2000
An orphanage that is also a metaphor
Unreliable narration
The dubious partnership of Mister Sinister and Apocalypse
Best iterations of Boom Boom
NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur goes ongoing!
InfernoWatch
Malicious inanimate objects
Early signs of Marvel Girl’s returning telepathy
First clues of Cyclops’s connection to Sinister
First mention of Goblin Queen by name
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 11/22/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
It is reasonably appropriate to judge this book by its cover. (X-Men Annual #3)
Spot the references. (X-Men Annual #3)
ARKON THE MAGNIFICENT! (X-Men Annual #3)
I guess when your job is cleaning up after Tony Stark, the existential hellscape of Funky Winkerbean starts to feel like a vacation. (X-Men Annual #3)
DON’T TOUCH THE HAIR! (X-Men Annual #3)
You’d think the Danger Room would have ANY KIND OF REMOTELY FUNCTIONAL SAFETY PROTOCOLS BY NOW, but no. (X-Men Annual #3)
The art makes a really, really good counterpoint to the conversation in these panels. (X-Men Annual #3)
Cyclops encouraging other characters to talk about their feelings: NEVER NOT FUNNY. (X-Men Annual #3)
Don’t forget to watch TV, kids! You never know when it’ll come in handy! (X-Men Annual #3)
The best thing about this panel is Wolverine’s understated “Geez.” (X-Men Annual #3)
“I mean, look, there’s a really good chance we’re just going to straight-up explode.” (X-Men Annual #3)
Starman #4 is about a Hawaiian shirt that is a gateway to heaven. In related news, you should all go read Starman RIGHT NOW, because it is WONDERFUL.
If you’re not hearing Queen in your head right now, I don’t really understand you. (X-Men Annual #3)
Things that are not awesome about this fight panel: NONE OF THEM. (X-Men Annual #3)
SHE’LL SAVE EVERY ONE OF US! (X-Men Annual #3)
“Oh, y’know, just stole a dragon from some flying commandos. No big deal.” (X-Men Annual #3)
This planet sucks. (X-Men Annual #3)
Wolverine, that’s not… y’know what? Never mind. (X-Men Annual #3)
I’m pretty sure that no writer will ever reference this again. (X-Men Annual #3)
“Well, that, or the colorist forgot to make it red, which also happens sometimes.” (X-Men Annual #3)
Somewhere in the multiverse, there’s a universe where the X-Men went, “Fuck it. Let’s just go be space barbarians.” (X-Men Annual #3)
NEXT WEEK: This jerk.
LINKS & FURTHER READING:
Special thanks to the Vegas Valley Comic Book Festival–and in particular to Andy and Suzanne–for a fantastic con, and for hosting our second-ever live episode!
Comics Alliance collects the month’s most depressing Funky Winkerbean strips over at FunkyWatch.
If you haven’t seen the 1980 Flash Gordon movie, you should, because it is spectacular. Not good, mind. But spectacular.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 11/22/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
In which we travel back in time to 1979 for our second live convention special; X-Men Annual #3 desperately needs a Queen soundtrack; George Perez draws great Banshee; Polemachus is kind of a bullshit planet; we dream of a world without Funky Winkerbean; Cyclops’s costume does not mix and match well; if you can be someone else, you should probably be Brian Blessed; Colossus gets a dragon; and Vegas Valley Comic Book Festival is awesome.
X-PLAINED:
X-misadventures in Las Vegas
X-Men Annual #3
Arkon the Magnificent
Isadore and Irmagarde Uhman
The Comical Books
Polemachus the planet vs. Polemachus the person
Funky Winkerbean
Several logistical problems with the Danger Room
MVP Cyclops
Some very good visual counterpoint to dialogue
Paperboard lightning bolt disambiguation
Jay’s favorite Starman story
X-title and music pairings
Imperions
Visual perspective in grand melees
How to order a meal on Polemachus
One specific variation on Cyclops’s powers
The X-Men as Spinal Tap
Space-barbarian eyewear
The annual cabinet
The most appropriate X-team placement for Funky Winkerbean
Best worst characters
Our favorite X-Force teams
Secret Convergence on Infinite Podcasts
NEXT WEEK: Somehow, Cameron Hodge manages to get even worse.
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 10/25/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Look! It’s Captain America! And… Dr. Druid. Okay, then. (X-Men vs. Avengers #1)
We see what you did, there. (X-Men vs. Avengers #1)
That… could have gone better. (X-Men vs. Avengers #1)
Let’s all take a moment to appreciate the fact that Wolverine is wearing a cowboy hat with his swim trunks. (X-Men vs. Avengers #1)
“But they don’t trust me! I know! I’ll sneak away! That’ll help!” (X-Men vs. Avengers #1)
Magneto’s old helmet does not really work with his new disco neckline. (X-Men vs. Avengers #2)
EVERYBODY FIGHT! (X-Men vs. Avengers #2)
*rimshot* (X-Men vs. Avengers #2)
“We could resolve this peacefully, and–actually, nah, you know what? Let’s just punch each other for another two issues.” (X-Men vs. Avengers #2)
So, that happened. (X-Men vs. Avengers #3)
“Howsabout bears? You got a problem with those, too?” (X-Men vs. Avengers #3)
It’s not a miniseries until Rogue’s clothes explode. (X-Men vs. Avengers #3)
MAGNETISM! (X-Men vs. Avengers #3)
You’re a crook, Captain Hook! (X-Men vs. Avengers #3)
It’s kind of like The Lady or the Tiger, only it’s The Naked Dude and the Bear but also They’re the Same Person, so actually it’s not really very much like The Lady or the Tiger at all. (X-Men vs. Avengers #3)
Oh, generic Government Man. Never change. (X-Men vs. Avengers #4)
Well, that’s awkward. (X-Men vs. Avengers #4)
MAGNETISM! (X-Men vs. Avengers #4)
Magneto, the Silver Age called. It wants its schtick back. (X-Men vs. Avengers #4)
But… I mean… That doesn’t even… You know what? Never mind. (X-Men vs. Avengers #4)
In the original draft of this issue, Magneto’s helmet turned blue and was eaten by Pac Man. (X-Men vs. Avengers #4)
Oh, COME ON. (X-Men vs. Avengers #4)
I swear at least one of those picket signs is straight-up lifted from Uncanny X-Men #200. (X-Men vs. Avengers #4)
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 10/25/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
In no one trusts Magneto; Dr. Druid is the comfiest superhero; She-Hulk wants to punch a meteor; Rachel and Miles are really bad at both nature and maritime law; boat fights are the best fights; everyone makes terrible choices; and James Jaspers should really have been disbarred by now.
X-PLAINED:
Darkstar vs. Dark Star
X-Men vs. Avengers #1-4
Magneto’s narrative milestones
Dr. Anthony Druid
A most peculiar meteor
The Soviet Super Soldiers
Vanguard
Darkstar
The Titanium Man / Gremlin
Ursa Major
Floridian vs. Australian fauna
Crimson Dynamo
Dock parties with the X-Men
Secrets of Asteroid M
Cartoonish pursuit
The drinking rules of costume semi-destruction
The Laws of the Sea
Why you should put your multi-team brawls on a boat
An abrupt creative shift
The Light
Several miracles of magnetism
An ethical dilemma
The (other) trial of Magneto
Magneto heel turns
Picking which tie-ins to read
The Secret Convergence on Infinite Podcasts
NEXT EPISODE: Warlock vs. the Impossible Man!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!