Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: Apocalypse

356 – The Michael Bay-eux Tapestry

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which it’s hard to be Joseph; we do our best to explain the inexplicable; Miles is full of feelings; Hulk smashes; and Onslaught finally (mostly) ends.

X-PLAINED:

  • Heroes Reborn Return
  • Wild times with the Dreaming Celestial
  • Onslaught so far
  • X-Men #56
  • Onslaught: Marvel Universe
  • Jay’s definitive Bond
  • Joseph (more)
  • The physical evolution of Onslaught
  • Sense of scale
  • Hawkeye (TV series)
  • Onslaught’s goals, to what extent they exist
  • The three genders
  • A really big fight
  • A miracle of magnetism
  • The (nominal) end of the Age of Heroes
  • Beast’s scientific career
  • Chamber’s voice

NEXT EPISODE: Several epilogues

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As Mentioned in Episode 351 – His Mighty Hand

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
At least his astral form also works out. (Uncanny X-Men #336)
The size difference is endlessly amusing. (Uncanny X-Men #336)
You done good, Gambit. (Uncanny X-Men #336)
For those of you who collect reaction images. (Uncanny X-Men #336)
Seriously–PERFECT CYLINDER. (Uncanny X-Men #336)
It always seems weird to me that when Cable’s arm is like that it doesn’t seem to cause any mobility or balance issues. (Cable #35)
They’ll team up, but, damnit, they won’t enjoy it. (Cable #35)
Meanwhile at your neighborhood roller rink… (Cable #35)
He’s like a tiny pet Franklin getting walked around Manhattan! (Cable #35)
SO THERE, ONSLAUGHT. (Cable #35)
That throne is so creepy and gross and awesome. (X-Man #19)
Remember the Age of Apocalypse? Nate does! (X-Man #19)
Aw, kiddo. (X-Factor #58)
They’re all very neatly arranged, at least. (X-Factor #58)
Tabitha really needs some healthier coping mechanisms. (X-Factor #58)
AW, KIDDO. (X-Factor #58)
Please google “highland cattle” immediately and join me in giggling. (X-Factor #58)
Smelling the vegetation… and possibly hiding a pot of gold. (X-Factor #58)
Domino’s fantasies do not allow for teenage intrusion, TYVM. (X-Factor #58)
NEXT EPISODE: Onslaught, still, obviously.

351 – His Mighty Hand

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we enter Phase 2 of Onslaught; Cable is a man of many purposes; Onslaught gets a makeover; Intentions only matter if you’re Longshot; and Sue Richards will pull over this crossover event right now if you don’t behave.

X-PLAINED:

  • Red Onslaught
  • Onslaught Phase 1
  • Uncanny X-Men #336
  • Cable #35
  • X-Man #19
  • X-Force #58
  • A large number of team-ups
  • Onslaught, but make it a seder
  • Watcher undercarriage
  • Onslaught’s second form
  • Cable and Apocalypse vs. Onslaught
  • Nate Grey vs. Sinister
  • A trap
  • Several flashbacks and fantasies
  • Symbolic roles within X-Force
  • What Banshee’s sonic scream sounds like
  • Pecs as envisioned by Franklin Richards

NEXT EPISODE: Onslaught, of course.

Check out the visual companion to this post on our blog.

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As Mentioned in Episode 348 – Onslaught Continues

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
In Apocalypse’s defense, this is also roughly what I wear to sleep. (Uncanny X-Men #335)
“Quick! Let’s fight for no reason!” (Uncanny X-Men #335)
“Next, we’re gonna shut down Blue Man Group.” (X-Men Unlimited #11)
This is what every bar is like, right? (X-Men Unlimited #11)
Rogue has no time for your nonsense. (X-Men Unlimited #11)
Damn, Bastion. Cold. (X-Men Unlimited #11)
“Do you like… magnets?” (X-Men Unlimited #11)
SEE? GUN ARM! (X-Men Unlimited #11)
Did Thor ever actually wear that outfit in a comic book? (Avengers #401)
Vision is RIGHT THERE, man. (Avengers #401)
Including this panel entirely for Gratuitously Topless Thor. (Avengers #401)
Uncalled for, Silver-Age callback. (Avengers #401)
That is not the face of a man who has driven around in a magnet-shaped car. (Avengers #401)
NEXT EPISODE: More Onslaught (but also Sinister)!

348 – Onslaught Continues

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which all the heroes fight each other, a lot.

X-PLAINED:

  • Teenage Iron Man
  • Onslaught thus far
  • What Onslaught wants
  • Uncanny X-Men #335
  • X-Men Unlimited #11
  • Avengers #401
  • The rebirth of Apocalypse
  • The Apocalocophagous
  • The Age of Wonders
  • X-Man vs. Professor X
  • Nate Grey-sitting
  • Humanity’s Last Stand
  • Simon Trask
  • Bastion
  • Rogue and Joseph
  • Avengers fashion
  • Assumptions
  • Other characters who could merge Onslaught-style
  • Origins of the Angry Claremontean Narrator

NEXT EPISODE: Yes, still Onslaught.

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 339 – Luck Be a Lady

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(Press the “i” icon in the bottom-right to see captions in the gallery. It’s a known WordPress bug we’re still looking for a way around!)

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Wolverine, now with 100% less nose. (Uncanny X-Men #332)
Because no X-Man has ever made a worse decision, ever, right? (Uncanny X-Men #332)
Honestly, I’d be worried, too. (Uncanny X-Men #332)
Aw, Nate. (Uncanny X-Men #332)
Way to make it weird, Logan. (Wolverine #101)
Never not adorable. (Wolverine #101)
Elektra cameo! (Wolverine #101)
Meanwhile in a Bob Ross painting… (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1996)
Preacher needs to get better at stretching his canvases. (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1996)
The Bishop carry. (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1996)
Ouch. (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1996)
Oh, THAT guy, again. (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1996)
Seriously, this seems logistically unlikely. (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1996)
Depixelization is no fun, apparently. (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1996)
And she’s back! (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1996)
NEXT EPISODE: X.S.E.!

LINKS & FURTHER TOMFOOLERY

339 – Luck Be a Lady

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which evil robots are fundamentally more optimistic than climate change; Ozymandias could probably use a new hobby; Wolverine goes full Kate Beaton; “Luck Be a Lady” would be a kickass hymn; Shard gets a body (kinda); and the X-Men definitely do that.

X-PLAINED:

  • Some of Stryfe’s team-ups
  • Fatal Attractions (briefly)
  • X-Cutioner’s Song (briefly)
  • Genesis / Tolliver / Tyler Dayspring
  • Several other individuals named Genesis
  • Lost noses, historical and fictional
  • Uncanny X-Men #332
  • Wolverine #100-101
  • Uncanny X-Men Annual 1996
  • Zoe Culloden (The Expediter)
  • Ozymandias
  • Wolverine, golden retriever
  • An Elektra cameo
  • Wild Thing
  • Bishop and Shard (again)
  • The return of Preacher
  • The Hound (again)
  • A reunion
  • Deplxelation
  • Krakoan team niches
  • What heroes do

NEXT: X.S.E.

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

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As Mentioned in Episode 319 – Giant-Size Special #9

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
There’s… a lot of design happening here. (Further Adventures of Cyclops & Phoenix #1)
Even if the podcast couldn’t all be ink appreciation, the visual companion can! (Further Adventures of Cyclops & Phoenix #1)
Sir, this is a Wendy’s. (Further Adventures of Cyclops & Phoenix #1)
LOOK AT THAT BEARD. (Further Adventures of Cyclops & Phoenix #1)
THE DRAMA! (Further Adventures of Cyclops & Phoenix #1)
Tremble’s collection of human curiosities. (Further Adventures of Cyclops & Phoenix #1)
This might be my favorite look for Apocalypse. (Further Adventures of Cyclops & Phoenix #1)
This one’s pretty sharp, too, though. (Further Adventures of Cyclops & Phoenix #1)
What I’m getting here is that the Askani Sisterhood has been recruiting Asbury Park mermaids. (Further Adventures of Cyclops & Phoenix #2)
More artists should use color silhouettes–they can be such a cool effect! (Further Adventures of Cyclops & Phoenix #2)
Feelings… AND TEXTURES! (Further Adventures of Cyclops & Phoenix #2)
Marauder, schmaurader; I know a reaver when I see one. (Further Adventures of Cyclops & Phoenix #3)
The secret origin of ruby quartz! (Further Adventures of Cyclops & Phoenix #3)
“Sinister, you say? Ooh, that’s good. I should write that down.” (Further Adventures of Cyclops & Phoenix #3)
This is a bad plan and I do not want to be part of it. (Further Adventures of Cyclops & Phoenix #3)
LOOK AT THIS GLAM MOTHERFUCKER (Further Adventures of Cyclops & Phoenix #4)
Aw, he’s still got a heart, maybe, kind of. (Further Adventures of Cyclops & Phoenix #4)
Yeah, that’s not gonna happen. (Further Adventures of Cyclops & Phoenix #4)
TIME LOOP! TIME LOOP! (Further Adventures of Cyclops & Phoenix #4)

LINKS & FURTHER ADVENTURES

The written list of the SDAPCAfEaX winners will go up on Monday! If you are a creator who won and would like a physical award, drop us a line, and we will make it happen.

319 – Giant-Size Special #9 (feat. Vita Ayala, Tini Howard, and Leah Williams)

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Jay and Miles receive a mysterious missive and are visited by three of our favorite X-writers; Further Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix is a pleasant surprise; Nathaniel Essex is the most dramatic man in the Marvel Universe; the sewers of Victorian London were a happenin’ place; Apocalypse isn’t even French; Beast is the flip-side of Sinister; community is for everyone; the Internet is (kind of) Krakoa; and death is fixable, but trauma might take a little more work.

X-PLAINED:

  • A quotation
  • Further Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #1-4
  • A closed loop
  • Time travel with Scott Summers and Jean Grey
  • Mister Sinister (Nathaniel Essex)
  • A somewhat excessive visual aid
  • Beards
  • Cootie Tremble
  • The cultural context of sideshows
  • The first Marauders and/or Nasty Boys
  • Victorian Apocalypse
  • Strained allegories
  • Sanctity
  • Apocalypse vs. the Hellfire Club
  • Oscar the Somewhat Less Nasty Boy
  • Varyingly anachronistic costuming
  • The secret origin of ruby quartz
  • A very vague objective
  • A makeover
  • A closed time loop
  • Actual Cat Wizard Jonathan Hickman
  • Something Jay is not in fact going to pitch to Marvel
  • Creative dynamics and processes in the current X-line
  • Revolutionary joy
  • What’s cooler than one sword
  • The Sixth Annual Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Awards for Excellence at X-Cellence

NEXT WEEK: Jay & Miles take a break

NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur gets several Peters and a wolf!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 300 – Götterdämmerung

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Trust us–it looks better on foil. (X-Men: Omega)
Those skulls can’t be stable. (X-Men: Omega)
The gang’s mostly here! (X-Men: Omega)
[Cries in Dark Phoenix Saga] (X-Men: Omega)
Truly, he has been preparing for this moment for his entire life.
It’s cute how Nate assumes that it’s possible to talk Magneto out of fighting anybody, ever. (X-Men: Omega)
I’d like to imagine that the M’Kraan crystal made the conscious choice not to show her Onslaught. (X-Men: Omega)
YES! (X-Men: Omega)
Just, um, imagine that he’s holding a gun and also using his powers out of… enthusiasm? For the gun? I guess? (X-Men: Omega)
“Wait, are you the angry Claremontean narrator?!” (X-Men: Omega)
It’s okay. He’ll be back in about 14 years. (X-Men: Omega)
Nobody expects an ongoing series! (X-Men: Omega)
And that, as they say, is that. (X-Men: Omega)
NEXT EPISODE: Back in the 616!

LINKS & FURTHER EPICS: