Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: Amalgam

As Mentioned in Episode 459 – Waiting to X’Hal (feat. Devin Toohey)

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It is a crime that Dial H.U.S.K. didn’t make the cover. (X-Patrol #1)
As letterforms to create the shape of your building go, you could do worse. A lot worse. (X-Patrol #1)
I didn’t know there was a wrong way to stare at a butt, but… Beastling’s doing it. (X-Patrol #1)
Backstory, orange edition: Shatterstarfire! (X-Patrol #1)
Backstory, green edition: Beastling! (X-Patrol #1)
Backstory, yellow edition: Dial H.U.S.K.! (Bonus: Wonder Girl!) (X-Patrol #1)
Backstory, blue edition: Ferro Man! (X-Patrol #1)
Backstory, fuschia edition: Elasti-Girl! (X-Patrol #1)
Shit, now I wish Cable had a beard. And not just that literally-evil goatee from 1993. (X-Patrol #1)
An auspicious start to a first mission. (X-Patrol #1)
That outfit! On that guy! (X-Patrol #1)
Pretty bangin’ fit, I’m not gonna lie. (X-Patrol #1)
Second-rate indeed. That claw-guy doesn’t even have bat ears! (X-Patrol #1)
Mary Marvel Girl! (X-Patrol #1)
Did he murder tiny demon-squirrels just to hold his cape on? (Exciting X-Patrol #1)
Hitch and Neary never disappoint. (Exciting X-Patrol #1)
They must have such excellent dental hygiene practices! (Exciting X-Patrol #1)
Maximalism. (Exciting X-Patrol #1)
X-Patrol Mark II, featuring non-Rockslide and Jan’s muscles. (Exciting X-Patrol #1)
Robot roll-call! (Exciting X-Patrol #1)
I would read any and all of these comics. (Exciting X-Patrol #1)
Stalactites have a C in the middle because they’re on the ceiling, stalagmites have a G in the middle because they’re on the ground, and Brood have an O in the middle because they’ll eat your goddamn face. (Exciting X-Patrol #1)
Artemisty Knight! (Exciting X-Patrol #1)
Turns out Terrax and Terra look pretty damned cool when they merge. (Exciting X-Patrol #1)
This isn’t even my final form! Wait, yes it is. (Exciting X-Patrol #1)
Why would you cover up that amazing outfit with rocks? (Exciting X-Patrol #1)
Fuckin’ YIKES (Exciting X-Patrol #1)
Introducing: Exuberant-Man! (Exciting X-Patrol #1)
NEXT TIME: Teens!

LINKS AND FURTHER READING

459 – Waiting to X’Hal (feat. Devin Toohey)

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In which Devin Toohey joins Miles to discuss X-Men’s DC Comics cousin Doom Patrol, and their bastard Amalgam child, X-Patrol!

X-PLAINED:

  • X-Men vs. Doom Patrol
  • Meet Your Doom
  • Doom Patrol
  • Amalgam
  • X-Patrol
  • Elasti-Girl (Amalgam)
  • Shatterstarfire
  • Beastling
  • Ferro Man
  • Dial H.U.S.K.
  • X-Patrol #1
  • Exciting X-Patrol #1
  • Niles Cable
  • Dr. Doomsday
  • Superhero aviation
  • Brother Brood
  • Raveniya
  • Niles Dayspring
  • Technoorganic lettering
  • Claw mechanics
  • Magneto on X-Force
  • Real-life Dazzler and Lila Cheney analogs

NEXT EPISODE: Generation X goes to Madripoor!

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As Mentioned in Episode 33 – Crossoverload

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Art by David Wynne! Prints here, or contact David for the original.
There is a lot going on in The Uncanny X-Men and the New Teen Titans.
The best thing about Metron is that his eyebrows are part of his costume. (The Uncanny X-Men and the New Teen Titans)
Things we never get tired of: Cyclops using his powers to cheat at pool. (The Uncanny X-Men and the New Teen Titans)
Darkseid is Creepy Santa (so, basically, Santa). (The Uncanny X-Men and the New Teen Titans)
Cyclops has a bad day. (The Uncanny X-Men and the New Teen Titans)
How Gar manages to get an image that specific from her description remains a mystery. (The Uncanny X-Men and the New Teen Titans)
Flash Fact: Wally West is the best Flash, and anyone who tells you otherwise is full of lies.
Deathstroke the Terminator: the assassin who designed his costume to be as visible as possible against pretty much any backdrop. (The Uncanny X-Men and the New Teen Titans)
The Greys just CANNOT catch a break. (The Uncanny X-Men and the New Teen Titans)
Simonson doing cosmic Kirby is our jam, now and forever. (The Uncanny X-Men and the New Teen Titans)
Were we less mature and tasteful, this is where we’d put a “butte sex” joke. (The Uncanny X-Men and the New Teen Titans)
Probably not actually the fourth wall. (The Uncanny X-Men and the New Teen Titans)
Oh, that’s not gonna end well. (The Uncanny X-Men and the New Teen Titans)
TEAM-UP! (The Uncanny X-Men and the New Teen Titans)
You know this is the happiest moment of Kitty Pryde’s entire life. (The Uncanny X-Men and the New Teen Titans)
Along with fire and life, slightly creepy Cyclops feels are a running Phoenix Force motif. (The Uncanny X-Men and the New Teen Titans)
Can we talk about how very much better this Cyclops-as-Phoenix costume is than the AvX version? (The Uncanny X-Men and the New Teen Titans)
This isn’t actually all that relevant, but we couldn’t resist one last page of cosmic Simonson art. (The Uncanny X-Men and the New Teen Titans)
We are pretty into crossovers that come with convenient captioned character guides! (The X-Men and the Micronauts #1)
This is Kitty’s regular Ariel costume, so, no need to drink. Yet. (The X-Men and the Micronauts #1)
Baron Karza is Darth Vader Plus. (The X-Men and the Micronauts #1)
A possibly recognizable villain. (The X-Men and the Micronauts #1)
I’d like to take a moment to point out that the Professor Xavier who is punishing Kitty for thinking too loudly is explicitly good Professor X. (The X-Men and the Micronauts #1)
Action-figure-sized people fighting normal-sized people: NEVER NOT HILARIOUS. (The X-Men and the Micronauts #1)
Look at that snazzy title treatment! (The X-Men and the Micronauts #2)
Okay, that’s extra creepy. (The X-Men and the Micronauts #2)
One of the better pratfall panels. (The X-Men and the Micronauts #2)
Let’s check and see if the action-figures-vs.-full-size-people thing is still funny when the action figures are the good guys. YES. YES, IT IS. (The X-Men and the Micronauts #2)
This conceit really never stops being entertaining. (The X-Men and the Micronauts #2)
Seriously, how the hell did no one see Onslaught coming? (The X-Men and the Micronauts #2)
To be fair, she’s both body-swapped with Baron Karza AND mind-controlled by Evil Professor Xavier. (The X-Men and the Micronauts #3)
“Oh, HELL, yes,” says Kitty. “Cross THAT one off the bucket list.” (The X-Men and the Micronauts #3)
The worst part is that he gets so much creepier. (The X-Men and the Micronauts #3)
NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE (The X-Men and the Micronauts #4)
Remember the time Phoenix wiped out one planet, so Jean Grey had to die? Yeah, so do we. Marvel editorial, not so much. (The X-Men and the Micronauts #4)
Modified rule: When someone else in Kitty’s body makes her a new costume, steal someone else’s drink. (The X-Men and the Micronauts #4)
JUST TAKE A MOMENT TO IMAGINE HOW MUCH FUNNIER X-MEN WOULD BE IF THEY’D STAYED SIX INCHES TALL. (The X-Men and the Micronauts #4)
Next week: Captain America in a loincloth!

Links and Further Reading

33 – Crossoverload

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Art by David Wynne! Prints here, or contact David for the original.
Art by David Wynne! Prints here, or contact David for the original.

In which we dive into two crossovers; our DCU is the DCAU; the Greys just cannot catch a break; Darkseid is basically Santa Claus; the Phoenix Force has Cyclops feels; Baron Karza is the sonic screwdriver of supervillains; and the Enigma Force is aptly named.

CONTENT NOTE: The Micronauts portion of this episode involves not-particularly-graphic but still fairly involved discussions of sexual violence. If that’s not something you want to listen to, we’d recommend stopping the episode after the Teen Titans portion at 26:26, and fast-forwarding to 47:52 for conclusions, questions, and outro.

X-Plained:

  • Crossover Earth
  • Amalgam
  • Crossovers
  • The Uncanny X-Men and the New Teen Titans
  • The Teen Titans
  • The One True Flash
  • Cosmic Kirby
  • Darkseid
  • Metron
  • The Source Wall
  • Deathstroke the Terminator
  • Ravok
  • Butte sex
  • Cyclops and the Phoenix Force
  • The X-Men and the Micronauts #1-4
  • Bill Mantlo
  • The Hero Initiative
  • Micronauts
  • The Microverse
  • Baron Karza
  • Evil Xavier (more)(again)(seriously, how is anyone still surprised when this happens)
  • Several moral event horizons crossed in quick succession
  • Female protagonists in X-books

Next Week: Captain America in a loincloth!

You can find a visual companion to the episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Support us on Patreon!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration here, or contact David Wynne for the original!