Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: Alison Blaire

96 – Horsemen of the Playground

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints, cards, and travel mugs available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

 

In which we play Evolutionary War Mad-Libs; it’s probably a bad sign when Apocalypse decides you need an intervention; Dani is (briefly) the new Doug; horses are jerks; it’s probably really dangerous to be Longshot; Storm has the coolest friends; the High Evolutionary is very high indeed; and we make a (very token) nod to Valentine’s Day.

X-PLAINED:

  • Secret Origins of the High Evolutionary
  • Evolutionary War
  • The actual history of eugenics in America
  • X-Factor Annual #3
  • New Mutants Annual #4
  • Uncanny X-Men Annual #12
  • Classic X-Men #22
  • Purifiers (but not those purifiers)
  • Stack
  • Purge
  • How to tell when an event has major psychic repercussions
  • A Silver-Age callback
  • An Apocalypse-style intervention
  • Toga Steve (Val-Or)
  • The return of Bulk and Glow Worm
  • Equal-opportunity Hellfire lingerie
  • Mirage’s power upgrade
  • Miles vs. puberty vs. Uncanny X-Men
  • The coolest civilization ever
  • Colossus’s illegitimate kid
  • The cutest sound effect
  • Origins of the Scott/Jean/Logan love triangle
  • Stuff Jay likes and Miles doesn’t
  • The Elle Collins Theory of Podcast Roles

NEXT EPISODE: Captain Britain!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints (or travel mugs) of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 95 – Earthfall

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Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
TFW you forget a plotline for over a year and have to recap not only the original hook, but the entire context. (Uncanny X-Men #232)
If I had a dollar for every time this had happened when I was out camping… (Uncanny X-Men #232)
AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE. (Uncanny X-Men #232)
That is definitely not how you perform CPR. (Uncanny X-Men #232)
A lot of our nightmares start like this. (Uncanny X-Men #232)
“Okay. This looks bad.” (Uncanny X-Men #233)
Nope. (Uncanny X-Men #233)
That’s… actually, that’s incredibly reasonable. (Uncanny X-Men #233)
How much do we love this cover? SO MUCH. (Uncanny X-Men #234)
That couple in the background are by far our favorite characters in this arc. (Uncanny X-Men #234)
And again. (Uncanny X-Men #234)
“So, meth, then?” (Uncanny X-Men #234)
Ouch. (Uncanny X-Men #232)
You know that thing where you have a really awful dream about someone you know, and you wake up really mad at them, and then you team up with demons and try to sacrifice a bunch of babies and turn New York into Hell? Yeah, me, too. (Uncanny X-Men #233)
In Madelyne’s defense, this really is a super fucked up dream. (Uncanny X-Men #233)
“She’s her old self again, but about six inches shorter.” (Uncanny X-Men #233)
There is literally nothing okay about what is going on here. (Uncanny X-Men #234)
Has anyone ever tried to reproduce this awesome manicure IRL? You should do that. (Uncanny X-Men #234)
The first official apparance of one of the worst villain costumes in X-Men. At least it’s memorable? (Uncanny X-Men #234)
Next Week: This asshole.

LINKS AND FURTHER READING:

95 – Earthfall

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Art by David Wynne
Art by David Wynne

 

In which the X-Men finally follow up on a dropped plotline; you should probably not mess with abandoned star sharks; “Dawn of Blood” is a sometimes food; The Goblin Queen makes her first appearance; we debut a new podcast feature; and there may or may not be a frozen woman in the Xavier School basement.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Providian Order
  • Uncanny X-Men #232-234
  • The Brood (again)
  • Several ill-fated campers
  • Harry Palmer
  • The Brood as horror antagonists
  • Why John Doggett is the best X-Files agent
  • Psylocke’s armor
  • Why Nestor Carbonell should play Gambit
  • Some deeply dubious codenames
  • Red Bee
  • Michael the Bee
  • Reverend William Conover and his Glory Day Crusade
  • The Mile High Diner
  • The strange case of Hannah Conover
  • One hell of a nightmare
  • A deal with a devil
  • InfernoWatch
  • The direct market
  • Ways to approach an endless serial

INFERNO WATCH:

  • Madelyne meets and strikes a deal with S’ym
  • First appearance of the Goblin Queen costume

NEXT EPISODE: Evolutionary War

CORRECTION: In this episode, Jay recalled the direct market as having been conceived in significant part by Carol Kalish. It was, in fact, the brainchild of Phil Seuling.

You can find a visual companion to this episode–and links to recommended reading–on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 94 – WELCOME TO DIE!

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Pryde of the X-Men‘s character designs are pretty damned comics-accurate, if slightly pastel. (I guess Kitty would have gotten her Shadowcat costume later?)
Real talk: if you watch this show on VHS, Spider-Man takes a minute of your time beforehand to tell you how important it is to vote.
Okay, that’s a legitimately cool way of showing how awesome telepathy can be. And a legitimately GI Joe-looking moment.
“Choose your character, Kitty Pryde!”
This image documents Kitty’s single moment of hesitation before she decides that following a bunch of strangers into space is a great plan.
Pryde of the X-Men‘s Storm may actually be her best on-screen portrayal.
“G’day! Let’s get a dingo on the barbie, you wallaby! Foster’s!”
This makes me actually kind of wish Dazzler had been on the team in the early 80s.
The Arcade Game: Heroes!
The Arcade Game: Villains!
It’s… basically a whole lot of this.
Three Living Monoliths for the price of one!
Twelve-year-old Miles was in heaven. Thirty-three-year-old Miles was too.
Our players: Anna Sheffey, Miles Stokes, and Elisabeth Allie!
Next time: The Brood are back, baby.

LINKS:

94 – WELCOME TO DIE! (feat. Elisabeth Allie)

32 comments

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

In which Miles and Elisabeth X-Plain Pryde of the X-Men; Magneto is somehow even worse at branding than Mystique; the X-Universe is in desperate need of responsible adults; Wolverine hates kids; everybody’s mean to Lockheed; and the Sentinels represent your feelings.

X-PLAINED:

  • Wolverine’s Australian accent
  • Pryde of the X-Men
  • X-Men / Muppet Babies analogues
  • The Brotherhood of Mutant Terrorists
  • How not to comfort scared teenagers
  • The X-Cessible X-Men
  • The Mutant Power Circuit
  • Terrible parenting
  • A MacGuffin
  • A Really Dubious Evil Plot
  • Several Additional MacGuffins
  • THE POWER!
  • One of many reasons to be nice to animals
  • Space
  • The X-Men Arcade Game
  • Ground Kontrol
  • X-Men: Madness in Murderworld
  • The Uncanny X-Men (game)
  • Metaphorical sentinels
  • Mysterious lizards
  • Video game mechanics vs. superhero ethics
  • Pryde of the X-Men vs the ’90s animated series vs. X-Men: Evolution
  • Alternate animated series hooks

NEXT WEEK: The Brood go to a revival meeting

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 90 – Ghosts of the Outback

17 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Dazzler is pretty fundamentally confused about the idea of “hiding out.” (Uncanny X-Men #228)
O.Z. Chase: Bounty Hunter, Not a Werewolf. (Uncanny X-Men #228)
WOLVERINE. DON’T FEED DOGS CIGARS. WHY WOULD YOU EVEN DO THAT. YOU ARE THE WORST. (Uncanny X-Men #228)
Oh, hey, it’s the Walter Peck of the Marvel Universe. (Uncanny X-Men #228)
Good times, good times. (Uncanny X-Men #228)
The Reavers. No, not those reavers. The other Reavers. One of them’s a tank. Centank. Tanktaur. (Uncanny X-Men #229)
That tattoo, man. (Uncanny X-Men #229)
Hi, Gateway! (Uncanny X-Men #229)
Do these guys know how to party, or what? (Uncanny X-Men #229)
“Look, we didn’t really think the whole horde thing through.” (Uncanny X-Men #229)
“Also, you’ll start spelling ‘tiger’ with a Y.” (Uncanny X-Men #229)
Those sound effects! (Uncanny X-Men #229)
Chekhov’s mystic portal. (Uncanny X-Men #229)
Really not feeling that costume, Storm. (Uncanny X-Men #230)
SPOILER: This will not end well. (Uncanny X-Men #230)
Question: Based on his powers, is it SUPER AWKWARD for Longshot to use the toilet? (Uncanny X-Men #230)
Alex. You’re the Summers brother who can see colors. There is no excuse for this. (Uncanny X-Men #230)
Elf Dazzler meshes weirdly well with the whole “Baby Boomer Santa” thing from Community. (Uncanny X-Men #230)
Aw. (Uncanny X-Men #230)
Rick Leonardi is so good, y’all. (Uncanny X-Men #231)
Good hat, though. (Uncanny X-Men #231)
Hot, and also hot. (Uncanny X-Men #231)
CAN WE PLEASE TALK ABOUT WHAT STORM IS WEARING? (Uncanny X-Men #231)
Leonardi draws the best Darkchylde by a pretty wide margin. (Uncanny X-Men #231)
How awesome would it be if the Xavier Institute always looked like this? SO AWESOME. (Uncanny X-Men #231)
Aw, man. Right in the feels. (Uncanny X-Men #231)
NEXT WEEK: The saddest story ever.

LINKS & FURTHER READING

90 – Ghosts of the Outback

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

 

In which the X-Men move to Australia; O.Z. Chase is definitely not a werewolf; Dazzler is a smart, glittery laser cookie; Gateway falls into some uncomfortable tropes; Havok remains the king of terrible hats; Madelyne Pryor hacks the planet; Rogue makes a friend; Rick Leonardi draws the definitive Magik; Colossus’ secondary mutation is allegory; and there are a lot of great places to donate your old backissues.

X-PLAINED:

  • Gateway’s probable origin
  • Wintry mix
  • Miles’s definitive X-era
  • Uncanny X-Men #228-231
  • O.Z. Chase
  • Vladimir Zaitzev
  • The Reavers (No, not those Reavers)
  • Bonebreaker
  • Skullcrusher
  • Pretty Boy
  • Children
  • Jessan Hoan (Tyger Tiger)
  • Gateway
  • Teamwork (more) (again)
  • The Siege Perilous
  • Cooterman’s Creek
  • Jay’s favorite mythic figure (and long-term career goal)
  • The best brother in the Marvel Universe
  • A really sad team-up
  • Favorite X-science moments
  • Where to donate comic books

NEXT WEEK: The saddest story ever

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 86 – Legends

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Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Fall of the Mutants promotional ad.
Piotr Rasputin’s run as penciller on Uncanny X-Men was brief but critically lauded. (Uncanny X-Men #225)
Featuring what we assume to be the disgruntled letterhacks of 1987. (Uncanny X-Men #225)
If I had a dollar for every time a stranger had given me an uncannily precise palm reading and then a tiny chess piece of myself… (Uncanny X-Men #225)
The players and the board. (Uncanny X-Men #225)
SFX as panel borders? Yes, please. (Uncanny X-Men #225)
It’s worth noting that at this point, the Spiral / Ricochet Rita retcon had yet to be conceived. (Uncanny X-Men #225)
Destiny wrestles with the awareness that she’s trapped in a crossover event. (Uncanny X-Men #225)
A moment of slapstick in the midst of the high-stakes drama. (Uncanny X-Men #225)
Repping the fourth estate, Neal Conan and Manoli Wetherell. (Uncanny X-Men #226)
It’s cool. It’s not a real knife. (Uncanny X-Men #226)
You’re a good dude, Colossus. (Uncanny X-Men #226)
She comes back a year later, and Forge has cannibalized his bionic parts to make a sweet Freddie Mercury costume. (Uncanny X-Men #226)
Those halcyon days when Havok’s impromptu diatribes didn’t suck. (Uncanny X-Men #226)
That’s one hell of a kiss. (Uncanny X-Men #226)
That cover. (Uncanny X-Men #227)
What. (Uncanny X-Men #227)
Well, that was unexpectedly graphic. (Uncanny X-Men #227)
“I mean, c’mon, dude. We’re in a superhero comic. You really think this is gonna last?” (Uncanny X-Men #227)
Somewhere in the multiverse, the X-Men were like, “Fuck it. Let’s just go to Disneyland.” (Uncanny X-Men #227)
Say what you will about Claremont, but he is damn good at epic ending beats. (Uncanny X-Men #227)
NEXT WEEK: It’s always darkest…

86 – Legends (Fall of the Mutants, Part 1 of 3)

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

In which we begin our 3-part coverage of Fall of the Mutants; Roma is very good at her job; strange things are afoot in Dallas; Mystique’s parenting skills are somewhat lopsided; Neal Conan is awesome; Havok gets a soapbox; Storm and Forge flirt with godhood; Rogue’s costume exists in a state of quantum uncertainty; Colossus is the organic steel wrench in the gears of chaos; and the X-Men die for real (but get better).

 

X-PLAINED:

  • Crossovers vs. events
  • The Fall of the Mutants
  • Uncanny X-Men #225-227
  • A really great marketing campaign
  • The Adversary (again)
  • Roma
  • The Starlight Citadel
  • Retcons as applied pareidolia
  • A metaphor that is also a real chess piece
  • A sort-of stabbing
  • Neal Conan & Manoli Wetherell
  • Literally hard-hitting journalism
  • A whole new world
  • Another variation on the Rogue’s-costume drinking game
  • A really improbable plan
  • The death and resurrection of the X-Men
  • Mutant metabolisms

NEXT WEEK: It’s Always Darkest…

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 80 – For the Mutant Who Has Everything

6 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 11/1/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
I’d like to point out that when Wolverine gets drunk, he sings show tunes. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #11)
That’s… that’s quite a look, Horde. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #11)
Daaaaaaaaang. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #11)
Dear Everyone Who Thought Wolverine and Storm Hooked Up Out of Nowhere Last Year,
NOPE.
Love, R&M
(Uncanny X-Men Annual #11)
This is like a Highlights for Children “What is wrong with this picture” page, and the answer is “everything.” (Uncanny X-Men Annual #11)
Havok really desperately needs a vacation. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #11)
Every outfit on this page is amazing… (Uncanny X-Men Annual #11)
…but none of them are quite so amazing as this outfit. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #11)
“You don’t do that! You don’t throw your skin at a person!” (Uncanny X-Men Annual #11)
Statue of this now, please. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #11)
The moment where it all went wrong. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #11)
“I feel it! I feel the cosmos!” (Uncanny X-Men Annual #11)
This is actually a pretty good single-panel primer for this X-team. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #11)
Wait, WHAT?! (Uncanny X-Men Annual #11)
Doug. Doug, no. (New Mutants Annual #3)
Oh, hi. (New Mutants Annual #3)
Screw that Mxyzptlk jerk–the Impossible Man is where it’s at! (New Mutants Annual #3)
The Impossible Man X-Plains Uncanny X-Men Annual #7. (New Mutants Annual #3)
The whole issue in a nutshell. (New Mutants Annual #3)
Graduation costumes: definitely still terrible. (New Mutants Annual #3)
‘Kay. (New Mutants Annual #3)
That last panel, tho. (New Mutants Annual #3)
These goofballs. (New Mutants Annual #3)
WELL, THAT ESCALATED QUICKLY. (New Mutants Annual #3)
Game, set, and match. (New Mutants Annual #3)
There’s really no other way this issue could have ended. (New Mutants Annual #3)
We’re going to be guests at Vegas Valley Comic Book Festival on November 7! Come say hi, buy cool stuff, and be part of our second-ever live episode!
The first episode of the Secret Convergence on Infinite Podcasts launches THIS THURSDAY, October 29, on FanBros! For more info, check out the announcement, and be sure to follow the Convergence on Twitter and Tumblr for host profiles, updates, and more!
NEXT WEEK: All-New X-Men, with Dennis Hopeless!

LINKS: