alex summers – Page 5 – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

272 – Children of the Phalanx (the Phalanx Covenant, Part 2 of 3)

November 10, 2019 Jay 19 comments

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Ship was inside Cable all along; Life Signs is the Two Towers of the Phalanx Covenant (but only in the bad ways), it’s lucky that the Phalanx doesn’t have WiFi; Nightcrawler embraces chaos; and we promise the crossover gets better next chapter.

X-PLAINED:

How Cable got his Ship back
Miles’s official stance on candy corn
The Two Towers of the Phalanx Covenant
X-Factor #106
X-Force #38
Excalibur #82
A monastery party
Douglock (more) (again)
Forge-O-Vision
How Steven Lang got mixed up with the Phalanx
Stages of Phalanx development
Babel
Giuseppe Russo, shepherd
The Phalanx, but dogs
Shinar
What you get when you meet a stranger in the Alps
Whom we’d like to see draw the Phalanx
Mindwifery
Adulthood
“Stealth”
Where baby Phalanxes come from
Teamwork
Good stories about Hope Summers
What happened to Paul Bailey

NEXT EPISODE: Rock climbing with the Summers Family

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 266 – They’re Good Dogs, Miles

October 6, 2019 Jay One comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

I miss road trips. (X-Factor #103)

Alex Summers, in a nutshell. I miss road trips. (X-Factor #103)

SEE WHAT THEY DID, THERE? I miss road trips. (X-Factor #103)

Strong Guy’s family is terrific. I miss road trips. (X-Factor #103)

That said, this dude is my favorite colorful local. I miss road trips. (X-Factor #103)

SOMEBODY REMEMBERED! KIND OF! I miss road trips. (X-Factor #103)

And that’s why you always leave a note. I miss road trips. (X-Factor #103)

Seriously, how is Polaris alive? I miss road trips. (X-Factor #104)

This cannot (and does not) possibly end well. (X-Factor #104)

He sure did that. (X-Factor #104)

And that’s how you supervillain with STYLE. (X-Factor #105)

This arc is almost enough to make us feel bad for Malice, which is a very weird sentence to type. (X-Factor #105)

NEXT EPISODE: Emma Frost goes for a joyride.

LINKS & FURTHER MEMES:

They’re good dogs, Brent.

266 – They’re Good Dogs, Miles

September 29, 2019 Jay 11 comments

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In which Havok goes surfing; Malice eats a poodle; Strong Guy’s ex is a big jerk; Sinister’s gotta Sinister; and Miles learns about a meme.

X-PLAINED:

The Puppet Master
X-Factor #103-105
Comparative Summers brooding
Perks of being a mutant geologist and/or geophysicist
Malice and Polaris’s complicated history
A somewhat convoluted plan
Several reasons to go to Rhinebeck, NY
Friendship
The extended Carosella family
Candy stripers
Mary, who is a big jerk
A Sinister entrance
The Nasty Boys (more) (again)
Karate pants
14-year-old Chris Gethard’s feelings about Jamie Madrox
Ionic vampirism
Misguided vengeance
Pushing back against whitewashing in comics

NEXT EPISODE: Emma Frost takes a joyride

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 260 – Professor Power’s Prodigal Podcast

August 18, 2019 Jay Leave a comment

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Storm and Polaris: a study in contrasts. And not just the hair. (X-Factor #101)

Guido’s smile is his mask… (X-Factor #101)

…and sometimes that mask falls. (X-Factor #101)

You know how you could tell how much trouble the heroes were in on early seasons of Star Trek: Voyager by how messed up Janeway’s hair was? Havok is like that too, but with angst and stubble. (X-Factor #101)

…and plasma blasts. (X-Factor #101)

We are so, so here for Forge’s pettiness. (X-Factor #101)

Thank you, DeMatteis, for remembering to let Moira mourn too. (X-Factor #101)

You know, now that Forge has gotten over himself a little, he and Storm are a pretty great couple. (X-Factor #101)

Mutant power as metaphor. Yes please. (X-Factor #102)

Not only does Rahne have her freedom and independence back, but she also has one of the best friendships in the Marvel Universe! (X-Factor #102)

It’s the biggest character redemption for Moira MacTaggert until we find out that… eh, that’s probably a little too current to spoil. (X-Factor #102)

“Specifically, it may or may not be a PowerBook 500 series with one o’ them newfangled Ethernet ports!” (X-Factor #102)

He’s been practicing that line in the mirror for months. (X-Factor #102)

The next morning, Forge found a “#1 BOSS” coffee mug on his desk with a thank-you card from Polaris. (X-Factor #102)

God damn, Jan Duursema sure can draw a fight scene. (X-Factor #102)

Polaris has your number, Random. (X-Factor #102)

Crap crap fucky fucky (X-Factor #102)

“And I see you brought your abs!” (X-Factor Annual #9)

Half the cast may be gone, but X-Factor sure still is X-Factor. (X-Factor Annual #9)

“This is my good side, though. It is my butt. My butt is my good side.” (X-Factor Annual #9)

Man, LEGO figures got weird in the 90s. (X-Factor Annual #9)

The Shores of Oblivion feature mist, candles, and PowerPoint presentations! (X-Factor Annual #9)

“This will be much easier now that I’ve finally made it into an actual X-book!” (X-Factor Annual #9)

BOOOOO THIS PLOTLINE (X-Factor Annual #9)

Haven X-Plains Haven. (X-Factor Annual #9)

YOUR FETUS’S FACE IS FAMILIAR (X-Factor Annual #9)

Aww, Guido… (X-Factor Annual #9)

We didn’t talk about this pinup by Steve and Marianne Lightle, but it is delightful. (X-Factor Annual #9)

Not only did Miles have a partially-neon Bart Simpson shirt in the early 90s (as did the much older kid next to him), he also had a truly questionable mullet.

NEXT TIME: Live from Flame Con 2019!

260 – Professor Power’s Prodigal Podcast

August 18, 2019 Jay 8 comments

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In which we explore the aftermath of Multiple Man’s death; X-Factor has a lot of feelings; it probably sucks to grieve with Charles Xavier; neither power nor responsibility is particularly fun; we finally find out who was trying to kill Polaris; Professor Power makes it to the big leagues; and the ‘90s were one long leg day.

X-PLAINED:

Vectors of Malice transmission
X-Factor #101-102
X-Factor Annual #9
The aftermath of Jamie Madrox’s death
Several ways to grieve
Captain Capitalism and Plucky the Girl Wonder
A foiled robbery
Several guest stars
Multiple Man’s Muir Island years
Several assassination attempts
Some shady government shenanigans
Beatrice Conners (sort of)
A surprisingly muscular astral projection
Haven’s deeply dubious origin story
Professor Power
A surprisingly muscular android
One way to clean a room
Creative uses of mutant powers
Top-ten lists

NEXT EPISODE: Live at FlameCon with Vita Ayala!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 252 – Snakes on a Trolley

June 16, 2019 Jay Leave a comment

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

TBH, this candle situation was basically how Jay decorated his room in the ’90s, too. (X-Factor #97)

“Also, the hand of orbital lasers.” (X-Factor #97)

I love this panel so much. (X-Factor #97)

SERIOUSLY THOUGH SHE HAS ORBITAL LASERS (X-Factor #97)

Spoiler: both of these dudes spend this arc being nonstop awful. (X-Factor #97)

“Antici– (X-Factor #98)

–pation!” (X-Factor #98)

Meanwhile, in a nearby Ralph Bakshi movie. (X-Factor #98)

Aw, Jamie. (X-Factor #98)

Haven’s real superpower is her AMAZING HAIR. (X-Factor #98)

Forge, fuck off. Lorna is literally the only competent member of X-Factor, including you. (X-Factor #99)

The snake shoes, in all their structurally questionable glory! (X-Factor #99)

Aw, Rahne. (X-Factor #99)

Aw, Rahne! (X-Factor #99)

I feel vaguely that I should be making a “what does G-d need with a starship” joke here, but frankly, Star Trek V doesn’t deserve the nod. (X-Factor #100)

Don’t tell them that. Never tell them that. (X-Factor #100)

You see what I mean about the captions, though, right? (X-Factor #100)

This is basically Jay’s morning routine. (X-Factor #100)

Aw, Jamie. (X-Factor #100)

It’s okay; he’ll be back eventually, mostly, probably. (X-Factor #100)

And now, an out-of-context infomercial-style tag! (X-Factor #100)

NEXT EPISODE: Haven’t we been here before?

LINKS & FURTHER MODES OF TRANSPORTATION

We did indeed review Dark Phoenix; and you can find that review–and links to everywhere else we’ve been talking about it online–right here.
Friend, have you seen the wonders of the Wolverine Meets Freddie Mercury saga? Either way, here it is (plus a pretty splendid coda).
You can find the comments Miles mentioned attached to Episode 241 – Conducive to Moral Subversion.
The Trolley Problem is a pretty interesting ethical thought experiment and also a pretty interesting way to send yourself spiraling into an existential crisis!
Yes, Miles’s stepdad actually has a trolley company.
Please read all of Max Wittert’s Jean & Scott comics immediately.

252 – Snakes on a Trolley

June 16, 2019 Jay 7 comments

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In which Miles invokes Freddie Mercury; Polaris is more competent than the rest of X-Factor put together; Armageddon theology does not intersect well with superpowers (or politics, or anything else); Val joins a cult (kind of); Random joins the team (kind of); Haven is a surprisingly nonviolent mass-murderer; Havok is confused by women; and good guys don’t have orbital lasers.

X-PLAINED:

Hope across the multiverse
X-Factor #97-100
Haven (Radha Dastoor)
Man, Mutant, and the New Humanity
A very fashionable outfit
One of the greatest Marvel art submissions of all time
Trinket the cat
Catalogs
A dramatic entrance
Mahapralaya (kind of)
Jamie Madrox vs. Jamie Madrox vs. the Legacy Virus
The Trolley Problem
Possession
Orbital lasers as a metric of morality
Monsoon (Aloba Dastoor)
The apparent death of Jamie Madrox
Our favorite takes on the Phoenix
Who our X-Universe counterparts should be

NEXT EPISODE: A very short engagement!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

HAPPY PRIDE! This month, we’re donating all of the proceeds from our TeePublic shop to Trans Lifeline!

As Mentioned in Episode 242 – Spider-Mansfield Park

April 7, 2019 Jay One comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Okay, then. (Spider-Man and X-Factor: Shadow Games #1)

…Actually, yeah, it does kind of look like Jello. (Spider-Man and X-Factor: Shadow Games #1)

Flash Thompson should probably not be left in charge of children. (Spider-Man and X-Factor: Shadow Games #1)

These charming reprobates. (Spider-Man and X-Factor: Shadow Games #1)

This is also what he does when he sees someone parked illegally. (Spider-Man and X-Factor: Shadow Games #1)

I’m not sure exactly what is happening with Havok’s hair in this panel, but it is not okay. (Spider-Man and X-Factor: Shadow Games #1)

I bet JJJ smells like an ashtray, like, ALL the time. (Spider-Man and X-Factor: Shadow Games #1)

Spider-Man: He’s Not Phil (Spider-Man and X-Factor: Shadow Games #1)

“Seriously, have you MET us?” (Spider-Man and X-Factor: Shadow Games #2)

He looks like such a reprobate. It’s great. (Spider-Man and X-Factor: Shadow Games #2)

“By the hoary hosts of Hearst!” (Spider-Man and X-Factor: Shadow Games #3)

“In other breaking news, I have bizarrely tiny hands!” (Spider-Man and X-Factor: Shadow Games #3)

Aw, poor Mirrorfacemaskperson. (Spider-Man and X-Factor: Shadow Games #3)

I really thought I was losing my mind briefly; but compare Havok’s hair on this page… (Spider-Man and X-Factor: Shadow Games #3)

…and the subsequent page. (Spider-Man and X-Factor: Shadow Games #3)

It’s like a fight, right? (Spider-Man and X-Factor: Shadow Games #3)

WHOOPS. (Spider-Man and X-Factor: Shadow Games #3)

NEXT EPISODE: Then…

…and now!

LINKS & FURTHER DIVERSIONS:

242 – Spider-Mansfield Park

April 7, 2019 Jay 24 comments

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In which we encounter one of comics’ greatest rarities; Spider-Man cannot actually do whatever a spider can; Flash Thompson subscribes to the X-Factor school of child endangerment; alliteration is the source of a very specific sort of powers; Spider-Man is not Phil; guilt is Spider-Man’s greatest motivator; we root for the antagonists; Guido Carosella would be an epic Twitter monster; a lot of people have hung out with the X-Men; and Glob Herman is a lovable, gross mystery.

X-PLAINED:

Spider-Man / X-Men Crossovers
Other media we have consumed recently
Spider-Man and X-Factor: Shadow Games
What a spider can do
What Spider-Man can do
Shadow Force
Hard Time
Airborne
Oversize
Firefight
Ambush
Mirrorshade
JELLO Jigglers(TM)
Journalistic alliteration
The government
A comfortable fictional jacket
How to find Flash Thompson
Many sound effects
The untimely death of Mirrorshade
Why we’re not covering the Captain Marvel movie
Glob Herman’s powers

NEXT EPISODE: Somehow we been doing this for FIVE WHOLE YEARS?!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 241 – Conducive to Moral Subversion

March 31, 2019 Jay 8 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Ouch. (X-Factor #93)

This plotline really never stops hurting. (X-Factor #93)

THE ARISTOCRATS! (X-Factor #93)

I see what you did, there. (X-Factor #93)

It is actually a pretty sharp costume once you take off all the goofy stuff. (X-Factor #93)

Hope you survive the experience! (X-Factor #93)

I feel like an evening with Lorna Dane would probably be really fun and also result in both of you being banned from several establishments. (X-Factor #94)