Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: Age of Apocalypse

As Mentioned in Episode 297 – Blood Is Compulsory

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
We were not nearly that ripped when we were 17. Or that telekinetic, I guess. (X-Man #1)
As entertaining as it is to imagine him with Schwarzenegger’s accent, I guess Cyclops is more John Connor than he is the T-800. (X-Man #1)
What I wouldn’t give for these guys to have their own ongoing comic… (X-Man #1)
I mean, seriously! How great would it be? Half revolutionary, half thespian, all delightful! (X-Man #1)
Black Tom Cassidy’s hair went white the day he lost his shillelagh. (X-Man #1)
Characters who need their own book, figure 3. (X-Man #1)
IS YOUR NAME OMEGA BLUE, ARKADY? NO IT IS NOT! (X-Man #2)
This is the Earth-295 equivalent of playing catch. (X-Man #2)
Sunspot would be proud. (And god damn, Steve Skroce is good at drawing telekinesis.) (X-Man #2)
Come on, Forge… How could you not trust a guy with a smile that big and a forehead diamond that he assures you is merely a fashion statement? (X-Man #2)
Nightmare factory? Heavy metal album cover? Why not both? (X-Man #2)
Butter Rum of Earth-295 does not approve. (X-Man #2)
The best-dressed D&D party of the Age of Apocalypse. (X-Man #3)
Whoa, Jason – maybe dial it back a little? (X-Man #3)
Schlonk? (X-Man #3)
Steve Skroce, making psychic powers look amazing since 1993. (Anyone remember Ectokid?) (X-Man #3)
I’m so glad they get to have this before everything goes to hell. (X-Man #3)
I’m not psychically crying you’re psychically crying (X-Man #3)
Jeph Loeb gets Sinister. (X-Man #4)
Does Mister Sinister practice his smug smiles in the mirror for moments like these? I mean, obviously he does, but like, for how long? (X-Man #4)
pterodactylwithapulserifle.tumblr.com (X-Man #4)
“To die will be an awfully big adventure.” (X-Man #4)
“Their eyes locked through the hole they’d smashed through the wall, and though they’d never truly met, they knew what they were: family.” (X-Man #4)
OBSCENE MONUMENT. (X-Man #4)
Hey, it’s Nate’s early, even more Dune-like design! (X-Men Collector’s Preview #1)
NEXT TIME: Being Human.

297 – Blood Is Compulsory

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Nate Grey is a drama kid; Forge-295 is the hero we need; Mister Sinister is a graduate of the Danielle “Moonstar” Moonstar school of secret identities; and we really, really, really wish that the theater troupe had gotten the ongoing series.

X-PLAINED:

  • Just how powerful Nate Grey is
  • X-Man’s somewhat baffling ongoing appeal
  • X-Man #1-4
  • A theater company
  • The Best Forge (Earth-295)
  • Toad (Earth-295)
  • Sauron (Earth-295)
  • Brute (Earth-295)
  • An extended Tom Stoppard allusion
  • “Essex”
  • Domino (Earth-295)
  • Theater in and as resistance
  • An ineffectual ruse
  • A lot of death
  • Caliban (Earth-295)
  • A family reunion
  • The story we really wanted out of this series
  • The X-Man ongoing series
  • Chronically missing New Mutants
  • X-arcs we’d like to see animated

NEXT EPISODE: X-Universe!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 296 – Hard Choices

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
“Are you coming too, mysterious hooded stranger? My sister, Carmen Sandiego, would love to have you along!” (Amazing X-Men #1)
Danger Room cold open, Earth-295-style! (Amazing X-Men #1)
“Just a few more hours and a few dozen more cigarettes until Tom Waits karaoke night!” (Amazing X-Men #1)
“For further details, my X-Men, you must buy every other X-comic on the stands. Excelsior!” (Amazing X-Men #1)
As the famous thinker Parappa the Rapper once so wisely said: you gotta believe. (Amazing X-Men #1)
Earth-295 Sentinels may be lacking in toboggan hats and robot one-piece swimsuits, but they’re still pretty impressive. (Amazing X-Men #1)
Half unspooled VHS tape, half Slinky, all nuisance. (Amazing X-Men #2)
“Go easy on ’em, X-Men – they remembered to use our logo font, and that was very considerate of them.” (Amazing X-Men #2)
Banshee’s facial expression speaks for us all. (Amazing X-Men #2)
Okay, that’s legit terrifying. (Amazing X-Men #2)
Quicksilver? More like FRIPsilver! (Amazing X-Men #2)
If the title wasn’t already taken, Magneto’s autobiography would be called The Brood Saga. (Amazing X-Men #3)
It takes a true villain to make “being stretchy” an intimidating superpower. (Amazing X-Men #3)
Mary Poppins: The Snyder Cut. (Amazing X-Men #3)
Shaking Angel down for information is an X-Men rite of passage. (Amazing X-Men #3)
Open wide and say “flashback”! (Amazing X-Men #3)
you guys I think I’m in the wrong church (Amazing X-Men #4)
This may be bad, but at least he doesn’t have to die of a mutant-targeting virus twice in the Age of Apocalypse the way he does in Earth-616… (Amazing X-Men #4)
Generation Next – ripping our hearts out even when it’s someone else’s comic! (Amazing X-Men #4)
I know you’re mad at Gambit, Rogue, but did you really have to punch his legs off? (Amazing X-Men #4)
Aww, damn – he was just one week away from retirement! (Amazing X-Men #4)
*raises lighter* (Amazing X-Men #4)
NEXT EPISODE: This guy.

296 – Hard Choices

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Magneto doesn’t really do work/live divide; Amazing X-Men is a bit of a misnomer; Exodus is the lawful evil to Fabian Cortez’s chaotic evil; smoking is bad for you; moisture molecular inversion is fairly definitely not a real thing; Earth-295 Quicksilver and Earth-616 Cyclops would probably get along; OSHA would probably like a word with the Madrii; Gambit had ONE JOB; and there are no superheroes in the Age of Apocalypse.

X-PLAINED:

  • An unlikely team-up
  • Relative amazingness
  • Amazing X-Men #1-5
  • Color separations
  • Comics credits
  • The Brotherhood of Mutants and/or Chaos
  • The Great Human Airlift
  • Exodus (more) (again)
  • Best Quicksilver (Earth-295)
  • Abyss
  • A dubiously aerodynamic cape
  • One last job
  • Several points of semantic distinction
  • Lone Nanny & Cub
  • The most punchable man on Earth-295
  • A difficult choice
  • What it means to be X-Men
  • Dick Valentine
  • Jamie Madrox (Earth-295)
  • A world without superheroes
  • Universe numbering

NEXT EPISODE: X-Man!

CORRECTION: The line about fence-straddling that Jay attributed to Wonder Woman was in fact spoken by Hawkgirl.

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop! This June, we’ll be donating all of the profits to Trans Lifeline!

As Mentioned in Episode 295 – The Nuclear Naked

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Hey, ‘dere. (Gambit and the X-Ternals #1)
This, but with a hawk. (Gambit and the X-Ternals #1)
Seriously, why the visor? (Gambit and the X-Ternals #1)
He pulls this look off alarmingly well. (Gambit and the X-Ternals #1)
SUPER DOCTOR ASTRONAUT PETER CORBEAU IS HERE TO SAVE THE UNIVERSE (Gambit and the X-Ternals #1)
“Just a sec, I gotta go find the Power Glove.” (Gambit and the X-Ternals #1)
This torso is unacceptable. (Gambit and the X-Ternals #1)
In an homage, obviously. Dang, Jubes. (Gambit and the X-Ternals #2)
BUT, WAIT! THERE’S MORE! (Gambit and the X-Ternals #2)
“Just us, and a bunch of chickens. It got weird fast.” (Gambit and the X-Ternals #2)
Y E S (Gambit and the X-Ternals #2)
I maintain that everything is better if his name is pronounced “Jeff.” (Gambit and the X-Ternals #3)
AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE (Gambit and the X-Ternals #3)
Jeff has no patience for events. (Gambit and the X-Ternals #3)
Oh, c’mon. I bet he’s got a ton of cool stolen stuff, too. (Gambit and the X-Ternals #3)
Welcome to the Hall of Tautology. (Gambit and the X-Ternals #4)
It’s okay, but it’s no X-Men #41… (Gambit and the X-Ternals #4)
Well, fuck. (Gambit and the X-Ternals #4)
The Nuclear Naked (reconstruction).
NEXT EPISODE: “Amazing” may be a bit of a stretch.

LINKS & FURTHER INVENTIONS:

 

295 – The Nuclear Naked

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which this episode may or may not be a temporal aberration; Gambit is bad at marketing; Jubilee’s sixth birthday was probably worse than yours; Earth-295’s chronology doesn’t make that much more sense than 616’s; Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau wears this timeline well; Rictor makes a terrible Javert; Jubilee has no time for your makeouts; superheroes are basically preschoolers; there is only one Jahf; babies are bad at stealing; and Apocalypse is not a tactician.

X-PLAINED:

  • How Magneto got his own country
  • A numerical convergence
  • Earth-295
  • Gambit and the X-Ternals #1-4
  • X-Ternals
  • The human resistance
  • The Temple of Human Redress
  • A terrible way to celebrate your birthday
  • Lila Cheney of Earth-295
  • The Nuclear Naked
  • Super Doctor Astronaut (mermaid) Peter Corbeau of Earth-295
  • Julio Richter (Earth-295)
  • Mudir
  • Homage
  • Cross-timeline vocabulary
  • Cosmic peril
  • The state of the Shi’ar Empire in Earth-295
  • The Starjammers of Earth-295
  • Varyingly versatile energy absorption
  • Jahf
  • An exchange
  • Some fancy sewers
  • Guido Carosella’s devil’s bargains
  • Earth-295… IN SPACE
  • The nominal justification for Apocalypse’s society
  • Which Apocalypse is currently running around Earth-616

NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk!

NEXT EPISODE: “Amazing” might be pushing it.

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As Mentioned in Episode 294 – The Infernal Gallop

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Man, I love this cover. (X-Calibre #1)
Cain Marko, man of peace. (X-Calibre #1)
Welcome to Avalon. (X-Calibre #1)
That is an EXCELLENT point. (X-Calibre #1)
I don’t remember Thunderbird having that many muscles or, y’know, being white. (X-Calibre #1)
“Sure thing! That’s BLAMM with two Ms?” (X-Calibre #2)
Aw, buddy. (X-Calibre #2)
But shouldn’t that be Rusty Collins’s icon? (X-Calibre #2)
…well, shit. (X-Calibre #2)
Almost our Kurt, and very much not our Kurt. (X-Calibre #2)
OH HELL YEAH (X-Calibre #3)
TFW Magneto forces you to visit your One Big Ex’s intentional community. (X-Calibre #3)
They have fun. (That is a lie. They do not have fun.) (X-Calibre #3)
Oh, come on. (X-Calibre #3)
AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE (X-Calibre #4)
Not AGAIN. (X-Calibre #4)
Welcome to the Age of Apocalypse!
NEXT EPISODE: these goofs, in space

LINKS & FURTHER ALLUSIONS

294 – The Infernal Gallop

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which a whole lot of things burn; Nightcrawler gets gritty; it’s hard to be Dead Man Wade; Apocalypse’s IT department has some explaining to do; Mystique is the most mom of all moms; Doug Ramsey dies (again); and Jay will fight anyone who says comics can’t be “real” literature.

X-PLAINED:

  • Damask
  • X-Calibre #1-4
  • Switchback
  • Cain Marko of Earth-295
  • Avalon
  • Destiny of Earth-295
  • Nightcrawler of Earth-295
  • Ghost Dance (actual)
  • Ghost Dance (fictional)
  • John Proudstar of Earth-295
  • The Infernal Gallop vs. the Infernal Galop
  • Moonstar of Earth-295
  • Dead Man Wade
  • The Pale Riders
  • Videoconferencing software of Earth-295
  • The Excalibur
  • Walter Newell
  • Callisto of Earth-295
  • A lot of murders
  • A really dark historical precedent
  • Parenthood
  • Death by existential crisis
  • The worst plan
  • Variations on the death of Doug Ramsey
  • Geography of the Age of Apocalypse
  • The rest of the Marvel books during the Age of Apocalypse
  • Jay vs. Western canon

NEXT EPISODE: Gambit and the X-Ternals

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 293 – The Monster Under the World

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Almost as cool as the way the backgrounds of the Marvel Universe Series 3 trading cards can be laid out as two giant space-pictures.
Husk, you’ve changed! And Chamber, you… have a face! (Generation Next #1)
Red and yellow outfit, banded metal skin, muscles on muscles, utterly broken by the world… I guess Earth-295 isn’t that different. (Generation Next #1)
We’ve seen Kitty bully younger mutants before… just usually not with as much stabbing. (Generation Next #1)
“I mean, we don’t want them to be inexperienced at dying, do we?” (Generation Next #1)
Know-It-All is pretty sure the depiction of technology in Hackers is way too bland and boring. (Generation Next #1)
Drums. Drums in the deep. (Generation Next #2)
Do minibuses look like that? No. But should they? (Generation Next #2)
This was one of the weirder anti-smoking PSAs of the 90s. (Generation Next #2)
Quietus is troubling. (Generation Next #2)
Paige has a zero-tolerance policy for Monty Python references. (Generation Next #2)
Only Chris Bachalo could make relatively normal people and monsters like that look at home in the same panel. (Generation Next #3)
“Like, the spiritual concept, not like Xi’an from New Muta… You know what, never mind.” (Generation Next #3)
Weirdly, I’ve had this exact same dream. (Generation Next #3)
Meanwhile, everything is terrible. (Generation Next #3)
YIP! (Generation Next #3)
Enclosed V Exposed: Dawn of Panel Layouts (Generation Next #4)
And then Sugar Man ate through his own mangled corpse and burrowed into the next scene. As one does. (Generation Next #4)
noooooo (Generation Next #4)
NOOOOOOOO (Generation Next #4)
Not to downplay the effectiveness of SPLOT SPLANG BONK THOPP, but it’s those irregular, sharp panel borders that really sell the impact. (Generation Next #4)
It all happens so quickly. (Generation Next #4)
And I’ll remember those panels for the rest of my life. (Generation Next #4)
Ever. (Generation Next #4)
NEXT EPISODE: Happy Mother’s Day!

293 – The Monster Under the World

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which not all Mondos are created equal; the kids are only rarely all right; the Age of Apocalypse is not Magneto’s fault; Sugar Man is the stuff of universal nightmares; “cartoonish” is not necessarily a plus; and the Age of Apocalypse is not particularly sustainable.

X-PLAINED:

  • Generation Next #1-4
  • The tradition of YA horror in X-books
  • Bachalo unchained
  • Whose fault the Age of Apocalypse is
  • Adaptive technology vs. Apocalypse
  • Chamber of Earth-295
  • Husk of Earth-295
  • Skin of Earth-295
  • Mondo of Earth-295
  • Vincente Cimetta
  • Know-It-All (Claudia)
  • An abysmal training exercise
  • Colossus of Earth-295
  • Shadowcat of Earth-295
  • Gardner Monroe (Flashback)
  • Quietus
  • Sugar Man
  • The Portland and/or Seattle Core
  • Illyana Rasputin
  • Ace
  • Human collaborators
  • A gratuitous Monty Python reference
  • The difference between mass and volume
  • Number Six
  • The fall of Generation Next
  • Growing up in the Age of Apocalypse
  • Illyana 2.0
  • Subtext vs. queerbaiting

NEXT EPISODE: X-Calibre!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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