Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 430 – The Bad Feelings Box

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It’s always awkward when you run into someone you know out of context. (Uncanny X-Men #359)
I don’t know why Rogue palming Mystique’s face like a basketball is so funny, but it really is. (Uncanny X-Men #359)
Aw, these two. (Uncanny X-Men #359)
Spoiler: They do not actually fight each other. (Uncanny X-Men / Fantastic Four Annual 1998)
Every supervillain, ever. (Uncanny X-Men / Fantastic Four Annual 1998)
It’s Bring-a-Twink night at the poker game! (Uncanny X-Men / Fantastic Four Annual 1998)
Psycho Man may have his issues, but you’ve gotta hand it to his UI design. (Uncanny X-Men / Fantastic Four Annual 1998)
I love that Kirby armor. (Uncanny X-Men / Fantastic Four Annual 1998)
INVISIBLE BEAR TRAP (Uncanny X-Men / Fantastic Four Annual 1998)
By this point, half the superheroes in the Marvel Universe are anxiously awaiting their turn to toss Wolverine. (Uncanny X-Men / Fantastic Four Annual 1998)
OH NO (Uncanny X-Men / Fantastic Four Annual 1998)
Callisto looks so cool in this issue. (X-Men #79)
She knows how to flirt like a pro. (X-Men #79)
They’re spooning. (X-Men #79)
NEXT EPISODE: Miles and Al Kennedy X-Plain the Generation X Underground Special!

430 – The Bad Feelings Box

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In which birds have no business in sex dreams; feelings are complicated and allegories are imperfect; Mystique made some valid points; Psycho-Man is good at UI; Callisto was right; and the label “Omega-level mutant” actually kind of makes sense.

X-PLAINED:

  • Psycho-Man
  • Malice (but not that one)
  • Hate Monger (but not that one)
  • Finding good comics from the ‘90s
  • Uncanny X-Men #359
  • X-Men / Fantastic Four Annual 1998
  • ­X-Men #79
  • The dead man’s hand
  • Dr. Aubrey Agee
  • Psi-War fallout
  • Dr. Bradley Beynon
  • Hadley the robot
  • Poker twinks
  • La Bludgeon
  • Psycho-Man’s Bad Feelings Box
  • An invisible bear trap
  • Marvel’s floating poker game
  • Officers Aguinal and Cleveland
  • Antagonists vs. villains
  • Omega-level mutants

NEXT EPISODE: The Generation X Underground Special, feat. Al Kennedy!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 429 – Slightly Sticky

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A goofy and fun cover for a goofy and fun comic. (X-Men Unlimited #20)
Poor Maxie… (X-Men Unlimited #20)
Poor Maxie!!! (X-Men Unlimited #20)
? indeed, Nettles. ? indeed. (X-Men Unlimited #20)
STOP HATIN’ (X-Men Unlimited #20)
I don’t think this Ferris wheel passed inspection. Or was ever inspected in the first place. (X-Men Unlimited #20)
Generation X’s greatest nemesis: a runaway Ferris wheel. (X-Men Unlimited #20)
Paige Guthrie would make a terrible babysitter. (X-Men Unlimited #20)
What was Penance doing in that closet? We’ll never know! (X-Men Unlimited #20)
And then a cop gaslit a child. (X-Men Unlimited #20)
A goofy and fun cover for a goofy and fun comic… again! (X-Men Unlimited #21)
Video rental store clerks: truly the absolute worst of humanity, apparently. (X-Men Unlimited #21)
HE’S HUGE! (X-Men Unlimited #21)
Friendship! (X-Men Unlimited #21)
John Henry Irons he ain’t. (X-Men Unlimited #21)
Gently punched by nostalgia. (X-Men Unlimited #21)
Halt, you men! (X-Men Unlimited #21)
Wolfsbane’s like the kid who clearly put together their science fair project the night before the science fair. (X-Men Unlimited #21)
Party one… (X-Men Unlimited #21)
…party two. (X-Men Unlimited #21)
And then Jay exploded. (X-Men Unlimited #21)
The hero we need! (X-Men Unlimited #21)
It’s a Dracularmy! (X-Men Unlimited #21)
Guido’s going to be telling this story for the rest of his life. (X-Men Unlimited #21)
The X-Factor denouement we never got. (X-Men Unlimited #21)
NEXT EPISODE: The X-Men team up with the Fantastic Four!

429 – Slightly Sticky

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Dracularmy (X-Men Unlimited #21)

In which you should stop hatin’, there’s a big difference between fill-ins and filler, Snow Valley needs higher Ferris wheel standards, Todd DeZago must really hate video rental clerks, and we’re all monsters – some of us just smell better than others.

X-PLAINED:

  • Strong Guy’s hellacious history
  • The nature and purpose of X-Men Unlimited
  • X-Men Unlimited #20-21
  • Rock Trolls (Chambliss, Nettles, and Munson)
  • What Asgard was up to in 1998
  • Magik vs magic
  • The Snow Valley Harvest Festival
  • Jubilation Lee, one of the guys
  • Eagles vs Hats
  • Fatman, Beardlady-o, Stickman-o, & Frogman-o
  • Tic Tac Toe fundamentals
  • Angry mobs
  • Paige Guthrie, Angry Mom
  • The many potential applications of Husk’s powers
  • Falls Edge, VA vs Eagle Ridge, WV
  • Payphones & video rental stores
  • X-friends
  • Rutland, VT (again)
  • Melvin J. Weals
  • Helen Back
  • The Donnybrook Country Club
  • Cat Fancier & Motorcycle Conventions
  • The Shi’ar Wardrobe Transmogrifier
  • Steel (the Shaq one)
  • The worst pun we’ve ever seen in a comic
  • Earth: the Hipster Planet
  • Which X-Men throw the best and/or wildest Halloween parties
  • Fan-casting X-voices

NEXT EPISODE: The X-Men team up with the Fantastic Four!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 428 – Naked in a Cake

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So who is that in the cake? (Excalibur #124)
A bridal shower! (Excalibur #124)
A bachelor party! (Excalibur #124)
Seriously, why is this a thing (Excalibur #124)
Yep, we’ve missed the Crazy Gang. (Excalibur #124)
Awk-ward (Excalibur #124)
To answer Suzy Eddie Izzard’s question: cake and death! (Excalibur #124)
And then Feron’s life got even worse. (Excalibur #124)
And a good time was had by all… especially Captain UK and Mimic, I assume. (Excalibur #124)
Love and chaos. (Excalibur #125)
Cameos! (Excalibur #125)
More cameos! (Excalibur #125)
I have questions about this pipe organ. (Excalibur #125)
Healthy… communication? Is that a thing in the Marvel Universe? Is that allowed? (Excalibur #125)
WHO INVITED THE NAZIS (Excalibur #125)
And have they ever earned it. (Excalibur #125)
Gatecrasher has the weeds! (Excalibur #125)
Lockheed, I know you want Piotr and Kitty to get together, but I assure you this will not work out. (Excalibur #125)
Nobody does wedding receptions like the Starlight Citadel of Otherworld. (Excalibur #125)
Man, that really is a shockingly tiny invitation. (Excalibur #125)
See, Feron? Just because everyone forgets about you doesn’t mean you have to jump out of a cake to try to murder people! (Excalibur #125)
Saturnyne, this is literally the worst possible time. (Excalibur #125)
Kurt, this is… also not a great time. (Excalibur #125)
Dammit, now I’m tearing up. (Excalibur #125)
And that, as they say, is that. (Excalibur #125)
NEXT TIME: X-Factor is back! Kind of!

428 – Naked in a Cake

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Love and chaos. (Excalibur #125)

In which you shouldn’t invite nazis to your wedding, there’s a lot of multiverse, Captain Britain and Meggan are pretty heteronormative but make it work, everybody forgot Feron, and the next husband will be Gatecrasher’s.

X-PLAINED:

  • Captain Britain varieties
  • The history of Brian Braddock and Meggan Puceanu, abridged
  • Excalibur #124-125
  • Mutants most likely to jump out of a cake
  • The Crazy Gang (again)
  • Meggan’s crush on Colossus
  • Colossus’s guilt about Meggan’s crush on Colossus
  • A surprise bridal shower
  • The return of Captain UK
  • Brian Braddock’s teetotaling techniques
  • Mimic’s ever-changing facial hair
  • Glorious, glorious chaos
  • Poor, poor Feron
  • Multiple awkward conversations
  • The return of Widget and also everyone else
  • Lightning Force (dammit)
  • A lengthy but not exhaustive list of Captains Britain
  • So many cameos
  • …Seriously, so many cameos
  • Dai Thomas’s anti-iron
  • Shockingly healthy communication
  • Bouquet brawls and garter gar-nage
  • A bittersweet ending
  • Nightcrawler’s best outfit
  • The universe where the X-Men X-Plain Jay & Miles
  • Our hypothetical post-finale Excalibur lineup

NEXT EPISODE: The return of X-Factor! Kind of!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 427 – Standard Deviation

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Why doesn’t Adam Pollina draw all the mythology? (X-Force #81)
Just another day for X-Force. (X-Force #81)
You could take away the word balloons and we’d still know so much about these characters just from their outfits and body language! (X-Force #81)
This panel doesn’t have much to do with continuity, but it sure is pretty. (X-Force #81)
Again: JUST ANOTHER DAY FOR X-FORCE (X-Force #81)
Siryn flirts. (X-Force #81)
“Your first clue should have been the rad halo-thing Adam Pollina drew behind me.” (X-Force #81)
We’ll miss you, Adam Pollina. Thanks for the memories. (X-Force #81)
Hi, Jesse Aaronson AKA Bedlam! Hi, Cait Sith! (X-Force #82)
I enjoy how “rebuilt from the brink of death” also translates to “wearing a super-cool set of insectoid armor.” (X-Force #82)
Pollina may be gone, but the action scenes are still pretty awesome. (X-Force #82)
Jesse, that is not how you give a massage. (X-Force #82)
“Sorry we’re late, it took us a while to adequately rip up our clothes.” (X-Force #82)
Yeah, okay – we love this guy. (X-Force #82)
Sam Guthrie X-Plains (his time on) the X-Men. (X-Force #83)
I think your guts may actually be tied up in abs, Sam. (X-Force #83)
Just enough of that yellow and purple left to still make them look like a team – and just enough folks without that uniform to make it clear how long it’s been since those days. (X-Force #83)
You may have thought we were being euphemistic when we said Jesse was sent off to live on a farm – but nope, actual farm. (X-Force #83)
Pig-riding blonde Lara Croft thinks these gentlemen make some excellent points. (X-Force #83)
This sentai team looks mean. (X-Force #84)
Loyalty, punching, and heroism. That’s our Sam. (X-Force #84)
It’s cool, Guthrie – not everyone can be photogenic. (X-Force #84)
Nobody ever gets to finish a conversation in the Marvel Universe. (X-Force #84)
Arcadia has the power to make people look really cool. (X-Force #84)
Jim Cheung does Jack Kirby. (X-Force #84)
NEXT EPISODE: The end of Excalibur!

427 – Standard Deviation

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In which we have grown to love Adam Pollina; the Vanisher is delightfully awful; Ekaterina Gryaznova gets a new look; Domino rejoins X-Force; superheroes actually have a conversation instead of fighting; Cannonball rejoins X-Force; we don’t even remember recording this one; and something cool is coming (stay tuned).

X-PLAINED:

  • Arcadia DeVille
  • The Deviants
  • X-Force #81-84
  • What’s been up with X-Force
  • The goddess Pele and the heart thereof
  • Beachwear
  • An episode of The Brady Bunch
  • Krotok the Lava Man
  • Lava Men, in general
  • Gortokians
  • Jinku the Lava Man
  • A diabolical plan
  • Jesse Aaronson (Bedlam) (but not that one)
  • Terry and/or Christopher Aaronson
  • The Aguilar Institute
  • The Griffin (Ekaterina Gryaznova, again)
  • Infinite Guthries
  • Ulysses Dragonblood
  • Odysseus Indigo
  • Lucas Wyndham
  • M.U.S.E. (Mutant Underground Support Engine)
  • A very Summers situation
  • Foreshadowing
  • Whether Shard can (and should) be resurrected by the Five
  • Accidental foreshadowing

NEXT EPISODE: The end of Excalibur!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 426 – A Gift from the Lower Regions

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Karel’s planet may be far from Earth, but his people still appreciate a good Terminator 2 reference. (Uncanny X-Men #358)
Tu is a very Chris Bachalo character. (Uncanny X-Men #358)
Lookit this pulp hero-looking scallawag! (Uncanny X-Men #358)
They’re so dysfunctional. I love it. (Uncanny X-Men #358)
I TOLD YOU THE BEAR WAS CANON (Uncanny X-Men #358)
Deathbird is horny on main. (Team X 2000)
In the far future of 2018, it will be illegal to cover your navel. (Team X 2000)
It’s not Cable and Domino’s tub, but I suppose it’ll do. (Team X 2000)
Team X! (Team X 2000)
You know it’s a really dark future when Doom is fighting on the same side as the good guys (see also: Age of Apocalypse, the Summers Rebellion). (Team X 2000)
IT’S VERY SEXUAL (Team X 2000)
The more you know! (Team X 2000)
NEXT EPISODE: Domino rejoins X-Force!

426 – A Gift from the Lower Regions

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In which the Shi’ar have zero chill; Bishop and Deathbird do space opera; we travel to the far-future year of 2018; Alanna Nerimani stretches the definition of “bird”; Deathbird is the cool aunt; Bishop needs a break from dark futures; and Bishop and Sauron have an intimate encounter.

X-PLAINED:

  • The current number of Summers brothers
  • Uncanny X-Men #358
  • Team X 2000
  • The Shi’ar Empire (more) (again)
  • Shi’ar voices
  • Parker Posey vs. Posie Parker
  • Sexual dimorphism in art
  • The Ursaa
  • Organs
  • The Chnitt
  • Karel
  • Several cameos
  • Nullifier charges
  • Tu
  • The first appearance of Cyclops’s Captain America teddy bear
  • 2018
  • Alan Smithee
  • Gith
  • Deathbird’s terrible childhood
  • Shi’ar-occupied Earth
  • Alanna Nerimani
  • Your cool murder aunt
  • Earth-9922
  • Deathbird’s war journals
  • The Morlocks (but not those ones)
  • Team X (but not that one)
  • Bribery
  • A very sexual encounter
  • Explorations of disability and ableism in comics
  • Beast’s long, slow heel turn

NEXT EPISODE: Domino rejoins X-Force!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!