Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 124 – The Cruelest Planet

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Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
“Yep, those four seconds of fighting totally justified the millions of dollars we spent on this Wolverine robot. Thanks, crime!” (Uncanny X-Men #248)
Musical X-Men! Ricochet Rita! Involuntary foreshadowing! This issue’s got it all. (Uncanny X-Men #248)
Goodbye, Longshot. (Uncanny X-Men #248)
“This Jim Lee workout program has been working really well! Also, Ali, maybe you should start using sunscreen?” (Uncanny X-Men #248)
Intentions versus outcomes. Oh, Havok… (Uncanny X-Men #248)
Goodbye, Storm. (Uncanny X-Men #248)
This way, no one will ever forget where to sit! Also, tragedy. So much tragedy. (Uncanny X-Men #249)
We didn’t talk much about this in the episode, but Polaris’s life is pretty terrible when this arc starts. (Uncanny X-Men #249)
Colossus’s teacher is totally going to call Mr. and Mrs. Rasputin in for a parent-teacher conference. (Uncanny X-Men #249)
“Hey, we heard there was a party going on here? We brought brewskis!” (Uncanny X-Men #249)
BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM (Uncanny X-Men #249)
Everything in this issue is both epic and overly abrupt. (Uncanny X-Men #250)
EWWWWWWW (Uncanny X-Men #250)
Psylocke makes some incredibly questionable decisions next issue to get the X-Men out of Australia, but I can’t fully blame her… (Uncanny X-Men #250)
Suddenly, it’s every notable Savage Land character ever! Hi, guys! (Uncanny X-Men #250)
This scene: so weird. So awesome. But also so weird. (Uncanny X-Men #250)
By Crom! (Uncanny X-Men #251)
A fine dose of dream logic, fueled by pure continuity. (Uncanny X-Men #251)
Goodbye, Colossus. (Uncanny X-Men #251)
Goodbye, Dazzler. (Uncanny X-Men #251)
Goodbye, Havok. (Uncanny X-Men #251)
Goodbye, Psylocke. (Uncanny X-Men #251)
The visual equivalent of show, don’t tell. (Uncanny X-Men #251)
Ever have a day so shitty you hallucinated the future? (Uncanny X-Men #251)
Damn, Logan. Damn. (Uncanny X-Men #251)
NEXT WEEK: Giant-Size Summer Special: Evolution Edition!

LINKS & FURTHER READING:

124 – The Cruelest Planet

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

In which everyone dies (or something); every Summers is miserable in their own way; we are pretty done with Nanny and the Orphanmaker; Lady Deathstrike is a surprisingly astute art critic; the X-Men’s digital invisibility does not extend to the White Pages; we venture into slightly less charted territory; Wolverine has a really bad day; and you should totally come hang out with us at Rose City Comic Con!

X-PLAINED:

  • Origins of Lady Deathstrike
  • Jay & Miles at Rose City Comic Con
  • X-Ray party etiquette
  • Uncanny X-Men #248-251
  • The precise inverse of an anticlimax
  • The Siege Perilous (more) (again)
  • Dramatic parallels
  • Summers tragedy disambiguation
  • Jim Lee’s first X-issue
  • The apparent death of Storm (this time)
  • The merged Reavers
  • What it takes for Jay to play a sidescroller
  • An X-band
  • Longshot’s departure
  • A really ineffective rescue
  • Art-critic Deathstrike
  • Administrative assistant Jubilee
  • Zaladane
  • An unconventional approach to genealogy
  • The ickiest method of mind control
  • Dark Claw

NEXT EPISODE: GIANT-SIZE SUMMER SPECIAL!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

Jay & Miles Review the X-Men, Episode 97

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Weeks of 8/24/2016 and 8/31/2016

In which everything is delightful and also kind of hurts.

REVIEWED:

  • Extraordinary X-Men #13 (00:59)
  • *All-New Wolverine Annual #1 (04:41)
  • X-Men ’92 #6 (10:10)
  • Deadpool v Gambit #4 (13:49)

* Pick of the Fortnight (17:22)

Come see us at Rose City Comic Con!

Filmed at Books With Pictures in Portland, OR.

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. These video reviews–and everything else here–are made possible by the support of our Patreon subscribers. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Come join us on Imzy!

Buy stuff at the shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 123 – Mojo Mayhem

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Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Oh, my. (Marvel Comics Presents #31)
The one significant drawback to Marvel Style is that sometimes the dialogue seems to be chasing after runaway art. (Marvel Comics Presents #36)
I would read this book. I would read this book SO HARD. (Marvel Comics Presents #37)
And that’s all, folks! (Marvel Comics Presents #38)
Now, THAT’S how you do an opening splash page. (Excalibur: Mojo Mayhem)
Heh. (Excalibur: Mojo Mayhem)
Aw, man. (Excalibur: Mojo Mayhem)
Minor Domo is delightful. (Excalibur: Mojo Mayhem)
Hell, this WHOLE STORY is delightful. (Excalibur: Mojo Mayhem)
Cats Laughing! (Excalibur: Mojo Mayhem)
Welcome to your new anxiety dream. Hope you survive the experience! (Excalibur: Mojo Mayhem)
What’s really amazing is that this isn’t remotely her worst costume. (Excalibur: Mojo Mayhem)
The Agent is a pretty silly concept, but in practice, he’s a genuinely scary villain. (Excalibur: Mojo Mayhem)
That time Kitty Pryde and the X-Babies stole Chris Claremont’s car. (Excalibur: Mojo Mayhem)
I really love this bit–it’s a very clever move on Kitty’s part and sets up a wedding-crashing brawl, which is always a visual treat. (Excalibur: Mojo Mayhem)
I’m usually a stickler for “their powers don’t usually work that way” complaints; but a) Kitty’s powers have been blinky lately anyway; and b) rule of cool. (Excalibur: Mojo Mayhem)
NEXT EPISODE: Death in the Outback.

LINKS & FURTHER READING:

123 – Mojo Mayhem

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Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

In which Jay and Miles return to Rose City Comic Con; “Having a Wild Weekend” is the mash-up t-shirt of Excalibur stories; swears are for everyone; Arcade is not a subtle villain; we love Art Adams a lot; Minor-Domo is the Harvey and/or Janet of the Mojoverse; Kitty gets another new costume; and the X-Babies carjack their creators.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Agent
  • Jay and Miles at Rose City Comic Con 2016
  • What Excalibur has instead of annuals
  • Competing theories of Eriks Larsen
  • “Having a Wild Weekend” (Marvel Comics Presents #31-38)
  • The Community reference that keeps on giving
  • How to fight on the Internet without being a dick
  • A large number of thinly veiled TV references
  • The X-Babies
  • Excalibur: Mojo Mayhem
  • Ricochet Rita (again)
  • Psychonauts
  • Exploding children (more) (again)
  • The House of Ideas
  • The New Universe
  • Major Domo
  • Minor Domo
  • Jay’s dream vacation
  • Cats Laughing (more) (again)
  • Cosplay you should totally do
  • Why you should always read the EULA
  • The classic X-Men spirit
  • Some of our favorite cameos
  • The return of Judith Rassendyll
  • One fairly specific way to ruin a wedding
  • Where to find Havok in comics
  • X-Men we’d like to see as wizards

NEXT EPISODE: Death in the Outback

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

Choose Our Adventure – Evolution Edition!

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Screen Shot 2015-01-21 at 2.40.03 PM

On September 4, we’ll be sitting down to record our 2016 Giant-Size Summer Special and second-ever tabletop episode.

In 2015, game writer and designer and friend of the podcast Logan Bonner has modified the amazing old Marvel Super Hero Adventures game to be played as it was never intended: in the spirit of the 90s animated series! This year, he’s joining us again–this time with an adventure set in the world of X-Men: Evolution!

In addition to Logan, we’ll be joined at the gaming table by two guests: returning X-Pert Max Carleton of Waiting for the Trade and I Love Television; and writer, developer, and all-around badass Crystal Frasier!

But first, we’ve got a job for you…

Continue reading

Jay Recaps X-Men: Evolution
S1E10: Shadowed Past

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Ever heard of something called “The Draco”?

No, not the blonde guy from Harry Potter. The “Draco” I’m talking about is an Uncanny X-Men arc where Chuck Austen retconned Nightcrawler’s origin story to involve a father from an ancient race of demon-looking mutants long exiled to a hell dimension by a bunch of quasi-angelic counterparts.1

The Draco is one of the worst arcs of Austen’s already fairly shaky 2 run; and generally considered to be one of the worst X-Men stories ever. It’s the continuity equivalent of awkward makeouts at your company Christmas party: everyone does their best to politely pretend that it never happened, and if anyone brings it up, everyone familiar with the story gets acutely embarrassed by proxy.

I am telling you about The Draco not because it has any relevance whatsoever to X-Men: Evolution–it doesn’t–but so that you will understand where the bar sits when I tell you that “Shadowed Past” is my least favorite take on Nightcrawler’s origin story.

Continue reading

As Mentioned in Episode 122 – Boom Boom von Doom and the Ontology of Monsters

3 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
“Hey, let’s play Final Fantasy! You bring the drama and I’ll bring the fetch quest!” (Uncanny X-Men Annual #13)
Imagine a world where Boomslang showed up in Giant-Size X-Men #1 instead of Wolverine. IMAGINE IT. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #13)
“Brightly-colored pureed veggies – my only weakness!” (Uncanny X-Men Annual #13)
This is the happiest Longshot will ever be. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #13)
Namorita’s pretty awesome, but… why would you wear that underwater? (New Mutants Annual #5)
Please note Undertow’s tastefully covered nipples. He’s a gentleman. (New Mutants Annual #5)
I believe the sound effect you’re looking for is TOOT, Ghaur. Are you even trying? (New Mutants Annual #5)
I’ll give you this, Rob: you draw a pretty awesome weird-Fizzgig-monster-thing. (New Mutants Annual #5)
In which John Byrne’s writing and art are two great tastes that taste great together. (X-Factor Annual #4)
Come on, Attuma – didn’t you read Avengers #263 and Fantastic Four #286? (X-Factor Annual #4)
“No time to process your deep-seated trauma at watching half your friends die – time to punch my dad!” (X-Factor Annual #4)
FUCK YEAH JEAN GREY (X-Factor Annual #4)
I mean, there’s really no subtlety here. It’s just straight-up the Blues Brothers. (X-Factor Annual #4)
Hey, it’s that guy! (X-Factor Annual #4)
I mean, this panel is fine, but it mainly makes me miss Marc Silvestri. (X-Factor Annual #4)
Watch out for Magneto’s brain-hat! (X-Factor Annual #4)
And also watch out for Doom’s brain-face! (X-Factor Annual #4)
Magneto’s backstory: more tragedy than any three Lifetime movies. (Seriously, though – poor guy.) (X-Factor Annual #4)
Everything about Boom Boom and Rictor’s body language is perfect. Jon Bogdanove, please draw both of them forever. (New Mutants Annual #5)
Tabitha Smith, living cartoon. (New Mutants Annual #5)
No caption can add to the perfection that is this sequence. (New Mutants Annual #5)
Do you know how many coats it takes to get adamantium to hold color? (New Mutants Annual #5)
This narration? Yeah, the entire story’s like this. And it is PERFECT. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #13)
Amid all the motormouth bluster, Jubilee basically just wants friends. Aww, kid. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #13)
The origin of both the best costume parts Jubilee didn’t keep and the best part she did. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #13)
Next time: the X-Babies! (Excalibur: Mojo Mayhem)

122 – Boom Boom Von Doom and the Ontology of Monsters

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Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

In which the back-up stories of Atlantis Attacks are way better than the main event; the Serpent Society is hilarious; Longshot finds a rock; the S.U.R.F.E.R.S. are no Neutrinos; our volume of digressions is inversely proportional to our investment in this crossover; Jay overthinks sunglasses; and somehow we still aren’t entirely done with Inferno.

X-PLAINED:

  • Leonard McKenzie
  • Princess Fen
  • Tiger Shark
  • A dubious crossover event and three splendid backup stories
  • The best thing in Marvel Puzzle Quest
  • Skateman
  • Atlantis Attacks
  • Uncanny X-Men Annual #13
  • New Mutants Annual #5
  • X-Factor Annual #4
  • Ghaur
  • Llyra
  • Homo mermanus
  • The Serpent Society
  • Boomslang
  • Why snakes don’t wear vests
  • The Maple Hill Farm books
  • The Horn of Doom (again)
  • Namorita
  • Impractical swimwear
  • Surf, or S.U.R.F.E.R.S., or whoever the hell they are
  • Zak and the Neutrinos
  • The trouble with mobile landmarks
  • A case of mistaken identity
  • The true meaning of something, probably
  • Ralph Macchio, but not that Ralph Macchio
  • Circumstances in which it is acceptable to throw a small child down an elevator shaft
  • The definitive Boom Boom
  • Eligible gentlemen of the Marvel Universe
  • Boom Boom Von Doom
  • A false dichotomy
  • Sally Pashkow
  • A really great outfit
  • Presidencies rated by X-Books
  • Best and worst moral inversions

NEXT WEEK: Mojo Mayhem!

ART CHALLENGE: Send your best Boom Boom romance stories, covers, and pin-ups to xplainthexmen(at)gmail.com by SEPTEMBER 15, with the subject line BOOM BOOM RULES.

NOTE: In this episode, Jay briefly confused two Marvel villain teams: the Serpent Society (snake-themed villains); and the Sons of the Serpent, also known as the Serpent Men (hate group). We would like to offer our apologies to the Serpent Society, who are ridiculous but not, as far as we know, racist.

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

Jay & Miles Review the X-Men, Episode 96

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Weeks of 8/10/2016 and 8/17/2016:

In which we make a vaguely triumphant return, review two weeks’ worth of books, and have a lot of feelings about fictional teenagers.

REVIEWED:

  • *All-New X-Men #12 (00:53)
  • Old Man Logan #10 (06:41)
  • All-New Wolverine #11 (10:29)
  • Civil War II: X-Men #3 (13:51)

*Pick of the Fortnight (18:23)

Come see us at Rose City Comic Con!

Filmed at Books With Pictures in Portland, OR.

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. These video reviews–and everything else here–are made possible by the support of our Patreon subscribers. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Come join us on Imzy!

Buy stuff at the shop!