Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 225 – Class Reunion (feat. Austin Gorton)

December 2, 2018 Miles 2 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

I miss when comics had dialogue on their covers! And when Emma Frost was ten feet tall. (New Warriors #10)

“Your uzi is no match for my very tall right boot!” (New Warriors #10)

If Emma’s telepathy weren’t invisible, this is exactly how viscerally violent it would look. (New Warriors #10)

Oh, Speedball – never change. Like, especially into a mopey edgelord with spikes inside his costume. (New Warriors #10)

Angelica Jones, you warm my heart. And also everything else. (New Warriors #10)

The tarot of the who now? (New Warriors #10)

You tell her, Firestar! (New Warriors #10)

Darick Robertson, you sure can draw… everything. (New Warriors #31)

Background-Cyclops is annoyed at the damned teenagers always hogging the phone line with their endless calls and their AOLs. (New Warriors #31)

Cannonball’s facial expression speaks for us all. (New Warriors #31)

Remember – neither of these women actually has flame powers! (New Warriors #31)

I bet there’s a long German word for the terror that comes from knowing you’re about to crash into your friend’s crotch at seventy miles per hour (and a second word for the terror that comes from being on the receiving end). (New Warriors #31)

Shine on, you justifiedly resentful diamond. (New Warriors #31)

That’s it. That’s the whole explanation. (New Warriors #31)

Emma Frost believes strongly in clear labels. (New Warriors #31)

I liked the yellow better, but this ain’t bad. (New Warriors #31)

Next time: X-Factor finally makes it to Genosha!

LINKS & FURTHER READING

We talked all about Firestar in Episode 42 – A Firestar Is Born
Check out Austin Gorton’s X-Aminations – writeups of every X-issue from 1963 on!
Listen to Austin on his podcast, A Very Special Episode!

225 – Class Reunion (feat. Austin Gorton)

December 2, 2018 Miles 16 comments

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In which we check in on Firestar and the New Warriors; superheroes often celebrate Bring Your Mom To The Amazon Day; Fabian Nicieza employs only the finest of lampshades; and Emma Frost still doesn’t apologize for blowing up that pony.

X-PLAINED:

Vance Astro(vik)
Penance (but not that one)
Austin Gorton’s X-Aminations
New Warriors #10
Firestar (Angelica Jones)
The New Warriors
Visual representations of invisible mutant powers
The Hellions (more) (again)
Tarot and her Morrisonian powers
Bevatrons
Oxy-cution
The inevitably increasing complexity of superhero origins
The Miracle of Microwaves
New Warriors #31
Nova Roma
Magma (Amara Aquilla) (or Allison Crestmere, I guess)
A brief and futile attempt at Roman soldier disambiguation
Empath and his large collection of red flags
Gender-based intuition
A massive, stupid, and quickly undone retcon
Super-nature versus super-nurture
The hypothetical psychological roots of Emma Frost’s fashion phases

NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor finally makes it to Genosha!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 224 – Fix the Future

November 25, 2018 Jay 6 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

(Well, kinda.) (Excalibur #61)

Phoenix vs. Galactus. (Excalibur #61)

I’m not gonna show you the whole fight, but these splash pages are so good. (Excalibur #61)

Well, maybe one more. (Excalibur #61)

Death is a remarkably chill cosmic entity. (Excalibur #63)

Seriously, good job there, buddy. (Excalibur #63)

Excalibur X-Plains Rachel Summers. (Excalibur #64)

She’s had a rough time. (Excalibur #64)

And then… (Excalibur #64)

It’s cool, though. (Excalibur #64)

Rachel, you scamp! (Excalibur #65)

Oh, dang, that cover! (Excalibur #65)

Secret origins of Widget! (Excalibur #66)

Well, THAT can’t be good. (Excalibur #66)

I know there are a lot of full pages in this visual companion. Blame Alan Davis, I guess? But in a good way. (Excalibur #66)

Kitty, no. (Excalibur #67)

The other, OTHER R.C.X. (Excalibur #67)

Why is the Internet never as cool in real life as it is in fiction? (Excalibur #67)

Possibly the most cathartic moment of Excalibur. (Excalibur #67)

Seriously, I *still* get teary just looking at this spread. You did good, Mr. Davis. (Excalibur #67)

NEXT EPISODE: The passion of Butter Rum (feat. Austin Gorton)!

LINKS & FURTHER COSMIC ENTITIES:

For the highlights of Rachel Summers’s history with the Phoenix Force, and Earth-811, we’d recommend checking out these episodes:
While we can’t guarantee that it’ll protect against telepathy, here are a pattern and detailed instructions for making your own cardboard Magneto helmet.

224 – Fix the Future

November 25, 2018 Jay 24 comments

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In which Alan Davis performs his pièce de résistance; the personification of Death is surprisingly supportive; Rachel Summers is the One True Phoenix; Kitty Pryde goes full ’90s; syntax saves the world; and the first Excalibur series should really have ended with #67.

X-PLAINED:

Origins of Phoenix mythology
Excalibur #61-67
The Phoenix Force (more) (again)
Rachel Summers (more) (again)
Earth-811 (more) (again)
Phoenix vs. Galactus
A pep talk from Death
The One True Phoenix
The dark, distant future of 2013
The dark, even more distant future of 2015
The extremely complicated future of Kate Pryde
Rory Campbell / Ahab
What may or may not be Ahab’s theme song
Moby Dick, kind of
That one time Widget was a car
Resistance Coordination Executive
Dark Angel
Killpower
Albion
Grace
Tangerine
Arthur
An Excalibur #54 callback
Excalibur (the gun)
Kitty’s new image
How to hack the robot apocalypse
Saved by the Bell: The College Years
Where Excalibur should have ended
Tactical use of Magneto’s hat
Anti-assimilation stories in X-Men

NEXT EPISODE: The Passion of Butter Rum (feat. Austin Gorton)

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 223 – Live at Vegas Valley Comic Book Festival

November 18, 2018 Jay 3 comments

Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

We went to Vegas Valley Comic Book Fest!

Possibly the grooviest Dracula-related cover ever published. (X-Men Annual #6)

HELL, YEAH, IT’S DRACULA! (X-Men Annual #6)

Kitty is having SO MANY FEELINGS, and you will NEVER UNDERSTAND! (X-Men Annual #6)

Check out Cyclops and Nightcrawler exchanging a look, like, “Parents? What the hell are those?” (X-Men Annual #6)

This panel is actually a pretty good encapsulation of what I remember about being 13. (X-Men Annual #6)

TBH, a lot of Kitty’s dreams probably start like this. (X-Men Annual #6)

THAT’S NOT A BAT. (X-Men Annual #6)

Dracula is probably the only person who looked at a bright green catsuit and yellow pouches and thought “stealth.” He’s mysterious like that. (X-Men Annual #6)

Ah, 13: that tender age when a young girl’s heart turns to eldritch summonings. (X-Men Annual #6)

Dracula, that’s really the kind of thing you should be keeping track of. (X-Men Annual #6)

[Eliot Spencer voice] “It’s a very distinctive sound effect.” (X-Men Annual #6)

How does Nightcrawler know the Montesi Formula? Who knows? Who cares? He’s a good pal. (X-Men Annual #6)

OH, SNAP. (X-Men Annual #6)

That’s our Wolvie! (X-Men Annual #6)

Lilith really looks like she’s visiting from an Archie comic. (X-Men Annual #6)

Skids and Northstar!

NEXT EPISODE: Fix the future!

And here’s a bonus gallery of Jay’s convention sketches:

Quentin Quire is indisputably the Nancy of the X-Men.

Warlock!

Smol Magneto.

Iceman assures you that he is rad.

LINKS & FURTHER GAMBLES:

We discussed X-Men #159–and a lot of other Dracula-relevant material–in Episode 18 – You’ve Got a Dracula Problem.
You can hear–and see!–us read the picture-book adaptation of “Days of Future Past” in the Jay & Miles Storytime Special.

223 – Live at Vegas Valley Comic Book Festival

November 18, 2018 Jay 3 comments

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In which Dracula probably doesn’t drink his blood from a World’s Greatest Dad mug; Miles massively underestimates the cultural ubiquity of Sexy Dracula; Bill Sienkiewicz may or may not have ever seen a bat; Kitty gets possessed; and Dazzler is singularly well suited to a Vegas residency.

X-PLAINED:

Dracula’s ungrateful children
Marvel Dracula
A fortuitously named writer
Rachel Van Helsing
X-Men #159 (again) (briefly)
Sexy Dracula
The secret origin of sexy Draculas
Fastball Special body mechanics
X-Men Annual #6
A nightmare
“Bats”
Yet another Castle Dracula
The Montesi Formula
Sound effects, spoken or otherwise
Lilith
Chairs
The relative efficacy of holy symbols against Dracula
X-Vegas
Characters we have grown to love as a result of the podcast

NEXT EPISODE: Fix the future!

Check out the visual companion to this episode–along with Jay’s convention sketches–on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 222 – A Tale of Two Betsys

November 11, 2018 Jay 5 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Spoiler: It’s Betsy Braddock’s original body. (X-Men #20)

Does it seem weird to anyone else that Jubilee is putting her skates on in Professor X’s news den? Is there even room for that? (X-Men #20)

That’s not how gravity OR abs work. (X-Men #20)

BETSY NO (X-Men #20)

We have reached peak Scott Summers. (X-Men #20)

This stuff will be a running backbeat to the remainder of Scott and Jean’s relationship. (X-Men #20)

WHAT?! (X-Men #20)

These reaction faces are priceless. (X-Men #20)

Sure, that’s what you CLAIM, but so far Colossus has not thrown Devil Dinosaur at anybody, so I’m suspicious. (X-Men #21)

Kwannon seems to like posing for pictures about as much as Jay does. (X-Men #21)

Same face, same hair–who wore it better?! (X-Men #21)

This guy, AGAIN. (X-Men #21)

At this point, Matsuo’s hair may actually be more aggressively styled than Wolverine’s. (X-Men #22)

Betsy and/or Kwannon X-Plains Betsy and/or Kwannon. (X-Men #22)

“As completely as I understand what happens when two people like each other very much.” (X-Men #23)

And so forth. (X-Men #23)

And you thought that conversations with YOUR grandparents were awkward. (X-Men #22)

The creepiest thing about Sinister is the moments of profound disconnect when it’s clearly Sinister, but everyone reacts to him like he’s just a regular dude. (X-Men #22)

In which Scott Summers continues to never under any circumstances be allowed to take an actual vacation. (X-Men #22)

Seriously. (X-Men #23)

Heralding several decades of nonsense. (X-Men #23)

NEXT EPISODE: Dracula, live at Vegas Valley Comic Book Festival!

LINKS & FURTHER SORROWS

Listen to our discussion of Psylocke’s original transformation–featuring author Sarah Kuhn–in Episode 137 – Kicky Kinko Killers.
Marvel’s current EiC has a particularly ugly history when it comes to appropriation of Japanese culture and identities.

222 – A Tale of Two Betsys

November 11, 2018 Jay 18 comments

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In which it has been a pretty intense month; there is a lot to unpack about Psylocke; we are confused by hip teen lingo; Cyclops definitively lacks game; organized crime is anything but; and the mystery of the third Summers brother officially begins.

X-PLAINED:

How the Maximoffs joined the Avengers
X-Cutioner’s Song fallout
An X-ceptionally convoluted set of retcons
X-Men #20-23
How not to repair an airplane
One way to get out of an awkward conversation
Several Betsys Braddock
Revanche
Dubiously organized crime
Kwannon
Nyorin’s diary
Awkward family conversations
Mike Milbury
Twin Peaks Season 3
Akira Yoshida

NEXT EPISODE: Dracula in Vegas!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Jay & Miles Storytime Special (featuring the PDX Broadsides)

November 8, 2018 Jay 6 comments

In the aftermath of Vegas Valley Comic Book Festival, we sat down for a wholesome, old-fashioned read-aloud, followed by a visit (and performance!) from the PDX Broadsides!

Special thanks to Max, without whom this monstrosity would never have been possible.

As Mentioned in Episode 221 – Better Than LEGO

November 5, 2018 Jay One comment

Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Bella, as seen on FaceTime between rounds of headbutting the phone.

The late, great, immensely fluffy Buzz Lightyear.

What, you thought this whole thing was just gonna be photos of cats? (Sorry) (X-Force #20)

Whoops. (X-Force #20)

That hair, though! Why, Shatterstar? WHY? (X-Force #20)

Those spacesuits look incredibly cumbersome. (X-Force #20)

You never forget your favorite ship. (X-Force #20)

That is a GREAT use of a spread. (X-Force #20)

X-Force really only has the one setting. (X-Force #21)

Aw. AW. (X-Force #21)

AWWWWWWWWW (X-Force #21)

“THE TEETH COMMAND IT!” (X-Force #21)

And that’s why you always leave a note. (X-Force #21)

“The guns were inside you all along!” (X-Force #22)

Well, then. (X-Force #22)

But he looks so happy about it! (X-Force #22)

I was gonna make a callback to that one tangent about how Cable probably carries a bunch of tampons because they are useful and he seems like the kind of dude who has a good attitude about menstruation, but it seemed too forced. (X-Force #22)