Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 235 – Fatal Extractions

February 17, 2019 Jay One comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

If there’s anything I look for in an event anniversary issue, it’s an interrupted funeral. (Uncanny X-Men #304)

Nobody likes Fabian Cortez. (Uncanny X-Men #304)

“Always alone… and always dramatic.” (Uncanny X-Men #304)

Speaking of dramatic… (Uncanny X-Men #304)

One of the best of many callbacks. (Uncanny X-Men #304)

Ouch. (Uncanny X-Men #304)

I’m curious about a lot of the inclusions and exclusions in this crowd. (Uncanny X-Men #304)

BEHOLD! (Uncanny X-Men #304)

“We live in space.” (Uncanny X-Men #304)

I wonder how many issues have had variations on this title. (X-Men #25)

HE’S VERY CLEARLY FACING AWAY. (X-Men #25)

Dang, Magneto. (X-Men #25)

“Professor, this plan is terrible.” (X-Men #25)

This implies that Xavier’s decision to wipe Magneto’s mind was the plan from the start… (X-Men #25)

Dr. Spock would like a word with you, Magneto. (X-Men #25)

“Damnit, that was my favorite shirt!” (X-Men #25)

That’s gotta smart. (X-Men #25)

…Well, damn. (X-Men #25)

Please note that even bereft of his mind, Magneto’s cape is DRAMATIC AS HELL. (X-Men #25)

NEXT EPISODE: Reality bites.

235 – Fatal Extractions (Fatal Attractions, Part 2)

February 17, 2019 Jay 34 comments

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In which Magneto may or may not own a Namor body pillow; Cyclops probably doesn’t color-code his files; Colossus is Not Okay; bats are nature’s flashers; there are a lot of reasons to be mad at Fatal Attractions; Charles Xavier is surprisingly durable; the X-Men know their Aeschylus; Jean Grey goes in through the face; and bringing Wolverine to fight the guy who controls metal was probably not a great idea.

X-PLAINED:

Mutant Alpha
Uncanny X-Men #304
X-Men #25
False foreshadowing
Costume storage and display
Relative moral event horizons
The character dehabilitation of Magneto
The Magneto Protocols
How Cyclops organizes his files
An excellent eulogy
The complicated legacy of Illyana Rasputin
Several noteworthy absences
A memorable funeral
The ‘behold’ thing
A protective mesh of electromagnetic fire
A well-played callback
A strategically dubious plan
Several Prometheus Bound quotations
An uncharitable assumption
The blood-brain barrier
A severe costume injury
The definitive scene of Fatal Attractions
The root of Onslaught
Which X-Men would podcast
Our preferred comics formats

NEXT EPISODE: Colossus still can’t catch a break

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 234 – Magnetic Feels

February 10, 2019 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

WHOA DANG! This is David Wynne’s 200th illustration for our show! Wanna buy one of David’s original illustrations, or commission a new piece? Drop him a line!

Clearly Marvel Unlimited had more success peeling the hologram off the cover of X-Factor #92 than most readers!

What the FUCK, Acolytes? (X-Factor #92)

File this one under “panels that scarred Miles for life.” (X-Factor #92)

Well, that took a turn. (X-Factor #92)

Exodus just nopes the hell outta there. (X-Factor #92)

Oh, fuck off, Senator. (X-Factor #92)

AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE and/or just don’t build giant racist robots. (X-Factor #92)

“You know, most people would just use the phone.” (X-Factor #92)

This is the worst signature move. (X-Factor #92)

You really would think he’d learn eventually. (X-Factor #92)

Well, that’s awkward. (X-Factor #92)

Holograms really feel like Cable’s home form. (X-Force #25)

Yearbook X, now available on like fifteen CD-roms! (X-Force #25)

Cable is a very considerate home invader. (X-Force #25)

They have fun. (X-Force #25)

Have I decided to include ever panel of Cable getting hugged in this issue? Yes. Yes, I have. (X-Force #25)

He’s a good dude when he remembers to use his words! (X-Force #25)

I mean, there are only two, but that’s two more Cable hugs than we usually get. (X-Force #25)

Cable X-Plains Cable (somewhat). (X-Force #25)

In Magneto’s defense, if I had a bathrobe that nice, I’d wear it everywhere, too. (X-Force #25)

The villain, revealed! (X-Force #25)

Ouch. (X-Force #25)

NEXT EPISODE: Also ouch.

LINKS & FURTHER LISTENING

In the first Summer Special, we may or may not have learned what Australians have to celebrate.
Nimrod problems are unusually complex.

234 – Magnetic Feels (Fatal Attractions Part 1)

February 10, 2019 Jay 14 comments

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In which the Acolytes are pretty terrible; Exodus considers his options; Val Cooper is not wildly trustworthy; Cable uses his words; and people with significant metal implants should probably stop confronting Magneto.

X-PLAINED:

How not to get possessed by Mister Sinister
Crossover structures
How not to make friends or influence people
The Acolytes (again)
X-Factor #92
A total dick move
The new Project Wideawake
X-Force #25
A first appearance
Cable #1-3
A reunion
Avalon
Magneto’s bathrobe
The evolution of X-Force
Mojoworld in the multiverse
X-characters who haven’t officially died at least once

NEXT EPISODE: Fatal Extractions!

Happy podiversary to our beloved illustrator, David Wynne!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Jay And Miles’s X-Temperaneous Livestream

February 5, 2019 Jay 3 comments

HI! Jay here! I was in Portland this past weekend, and Miles and I decided to take advantage of being in the same city with a semi-spontaneous livestream, now preserved for posterity.

Watch below for prolonged discussions of dabbing, X-kids, community response to predators, and our beloved and terrible cat!

As Mentioned in Episode 233 – Electromagnetism Unlimited

February 3, 2019 Miles 4 comments

Listen to the episode here.

X-Men Unlimited.

“Scott! Ororo! Why are you blasting in opposite directions? Siena Blaze is RIGHT THERE! Look where I’m pointing!” -Charles Xavier (X-Men Unlimited #1)

We’re not sure if Cyclops’s eyes actually do that when they’re closed, but damn if it doesn’t look cool. (X-Men Unlimited #1)

Alan Davis has his hair. Chris Bachalo has his eyeballs. (X-Men Unlimited #1)

Bachalo’s characters are just so expressive! (X-Men Unlimited #1)

That visual pacing, though. (X-Men Unlimited #1)

How many ways are there to say “we just really like Chris Bachalo’s art”? (X-Men Unlimited #1)

After this awkward exchange, Cyclops blurts out “Stand down, Wolverine!” for reasons he can’t quite explain. (X-Men Unlimited #1)

Cyclops and Storm: still one of my favorite, and one of the most under-appreciated, friendships in the Marvel Universe. (X-Men Unlimited #1)

This is why Miles’s parents moved from Michigan to Florida. (X-Men Unlimited #1)

Siena, you jerk. Go to your room! Or the Malibu Universe. (X-Men Unlimited #1)

Awwwww (X-Men Unlimited #1)

Hell of a cover, that. (X-Men Unlimited #2)

Not many artists can do awe-inspiring. Jan Duursema can. (X-Men Unlimited #2)

What Happened To Ute, version 1. (X-Men Unlimited #2)

So maybe it’s not so weird that Magneto’s middle name is (supposedly) Magnus. (Daredevil vol. 4 #10)

This is the roughest PowerPoint presentation I’ve ever seen. (X-Men Unlimited #2)

Gabrielle Haller’s facial expression is its own set of speech bubbles. (X-Men Unlimited #2)

Work buds! (X-Men Unlimited #2)

I mean, I know some of them are pretty evil, but I feel really bad for everyone here. (X-Men Unlimited #2)

Adrian Eiskalt X-Plains Magneto. (X-Men Unlimited #2)

Magneto: flesh and bone, and that only makes him more impressive. (X-Men Unlimited #2)

A good writer knows when to let the art speak. (X-Men Unlimited #2)

What Happened To Ute, version 2. (X-Men Unlimited #2)

Not for nothing does Magneto’s cape resemble wings. (X-Men Unlimited #2)

NEXT TIME: Guess who’s back?

233 – Electromagnetism Unlimited

February 3, 2019 Jay 17 comments

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In which X-Men Unlimited begins; Cyclops’s powers remain wildly inconsistent; electromagnetic fields are the gamma rays of the early ‘90s; Siena Blaze should probably take some science courses; Magneto is a complex dude; and the Marvel Universe could really use adequate mental healthcare.

X-PLAINED:

Tradeoffs
X-Men Unlimited
Several other Unlimited series
The Gregorian calendar
Chris Bachalo
Storm’s-eye view
Electromagnetic fields
Diverse approaches to problem-solving
One of Cyclops’s many issues
An unfortunate encounter with Magneto
A memorial
Magneto, his origins, and his many pseudonyms
The Victor Von Doom paradox
A terrible plan
Physical mannerisms in comics
An unfortunate encounter with Magneto, revisited
Mental healthcare in the Marvel Universe
What happened to the Soul Sword

NEXT EPISODE: FATAL ATTRACTIONS

Special thanks to consulting X-Pert @beccastareyes!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 232 – Careful With That Axe, Cerise

January 27, 2019 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

…Okay. then. (Excalibur #68)

“Now, do you want new handlebars, or should I just go ahead and go back to my lamp?” (Excalibur #68)

HI, STARJAMMERS! (Excalibur #68)

And that’s why you always leave a note. (Excalibur #69)

Oh, c’mon. I know you’re evil and bloodthirsty, but shooting corpses is just gratuitous. (Excalibur #69)

Sigh. (Excalibur #69)

Well, that works. (Excalibur #69)

I love this person. (Excalibur #69)

Fang! But not that Fang! A different Fang! (Excalibur #69)

Aw, these two. (Excalibur #70)

Awk-ward. (Excalibur #70)

The saddest staring contest. (Excalibur #70)

This seems legally dubious, but okay. (Excalibur #70)

Cerise X-Plains war crimes. (Excalibur #70)

NEXT EPISODE: X-Men Unlimited!

LINKS & FURTHER ANECDOTES

No, seriously, Saurians are Jewish.
That one Wolverine cover, and the story behind it.

232 – Careful With That Axe, Cerise

January 27, 2019 Jay 25 comments

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In which we’re still not over Into the Spider-Verse; Excalibur becomes an official X-book; Feron tries to help; Butts are fundamental; we care about the weird stuff; threats are unnecessary; and we were all always already Erik the Red.

X-PLAINED:

Several characters’ Earth-65 counterparts
The X-Office
Judging people for not being Alan Davis
Excalibur #68-70
A slippery story title
The unceremonious disappearance of Captain Britain
Mullets of space and time
Angst-ridden super-types, all of whom are morbidly obsessed with death
The other war criminal in Excalibur
Fashion trends of the Shi’ar Empire
Krag
Important conversations to have with your significant other
A sadness staredown
Cerise’s actual secret origins
A fairly poetic life sentence
The cleverest fights
Our 2019 Convention Schedule
How to get Jay & Miles at your local convention

NEXT EPISODE: X-Men Unlimited!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)