Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 258 – True Believers, Opportunists, and Crooks (feat. Lisa Winters)

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Wait, I could have taped my carefully-clipped-out newspaper strips into a book designed especially for that purpose? HAD I BUT KNOWN! (Spider-Man: Mutant Agenda #0)
…although the IKEA box that Jay decoupaged those strips onto does look pretty damned cool.
Newspaper strip motivations only get two or three panels’ worth of complexity. (Spider-Man: the newspaper comic strip)
Hey, it’s a Sunday page! I don’t think my paper got these. (Spider-Man: the newspaper comic strip)
Did… did that guy just have that picket sign with him? Just in case? (Spider-Man: the newspaper comic strip)
Breaking into places is pretty easy, I guess. Time for a life of crime! (Spider-Man: the newspaper comic strip)
Pacing! (Spider-Man: the newspaper comic strip)
Laser cages, surprises, goblin gliders – this one’s got it all! (Spider-Man: the newspaper comic strip)
PUMPKIN BOMB WITH A KNIFE STICKING OUT OF IT FOR PRESIDENT (Spider-Man: the newspaper comic strip)
You know how your skin gets wrinkly if you stay in the tub for too long? (Spider-Man: the newspaper comic strip)
I mean, newspaper comics are fun, but… Backstory! Motivation! Continuity! (Spider-Man: Mutant Agenda #1)
Remember Amazing Adventures volume 2 #11? This miniseries does! (Spider-Man: Mutant Agenda #1)
Hank McCoy: Master of Disguise. (Spider-Man: Mutant Agenda #1)
Moichandising! (Spider-Man: Mutant Agenda #1)
Can’t fit that into a newspaper strip! (Spider-Man: Mutant Agenda #1)
Banter! (Spider-Man: Mutant Agenda #2)
“Basically, we used to party all the time, but then this furry guy broke a wristwatch and everything sucked after that.” (Spider-Man: Mutant Agenda #2)
Prosaic? More like AWESOME! …Admittedly, I say this as someone outside of the cage. (Spider-Man: Mutant Agenda #2)
This scientist only appears on a few pages, but he’s already the best villain in the series. And he doesn’t even have a pumpkin bomb with a knife sticking out of it. (Spider-Man: Mutant Agenda #2)
They tried rolling out a Goblin Glider rental program in Portland, but mostly folks just crashed them into things. (Spider-Man: Mutant Agenda #3)
Uh, Landon, you’ve got something in your teeth – no, to the left – yeah, you got it. (Spider-Man: Mutant Agenda #3)
Dammit, Jason, it’s not even October! (Spider-Man: Mutant Agenda #3)
I love this guy. (Spider-Man: Mutant Agenda #3)
Landon-type Pokemon are weak against Irony-type attacks. (Spider-Man: Mutant Agenda #3)
If you have a 90s Marvel cartoon, you work Wolverine in wherever you can. It’s the law. (Spider-Man: The Animated Series season 2, episode 17, The Mutant Agenda)
Landon’s transformation takes a somewhat different turn on-screen than on the page. (Spider-Man: The Animated Series season 2, episode 18, Mutants’ Revenge)
NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor mourns and moves on.

258 – True Believers, Opportunists, and Crooks (feat. Lisa Winters)

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Lisa Winters pinch-hits for Jay, we take a trip to the newspaper funnies and back, Spider-Man and Beast are natural BFFs, nothing good ever happens at the Brand Corporation, and “mutant” can be a pretty fuzzy concept.

X-PLAINED:

  • Bessie the Hellcow
  • Spider-Man: Mutant Agenda (the newspaper strip storyline)
  • Spider-Man: Mutant Agenda (the comic book miniseries)
  • Spider-Man: Mutant Agenda (the cartoon episodes)
  • Four-color hoards
  • Three-panel newspaper comic structure
  • Sunday strips (and their Mark Trail deceptions)
  • Hero Jaws – a breakfast-based theory
  • Spider-Man (Peter Parker)
  • The Brand Corporation
  • The Beast (Henry McCoy)
  • Narratively convenient Spider Sense
  • Hobgoblin (Jason Macendale Jr.)
  • Goblin gliders
  • Picket signs (*air horn sound*)
  • Finger blasters (heh)
  • Laser cages
  • Arcade’s superpower flowcharts
  • Mutants: newspaper versus comic continuity
  • Coming home to the 90s
  • Lisa’s favorite X-Man
  • Beast’s versatile character design
  • Spider-to-X ratios
  • Dark, tortured heroes
  • Herbert Landon’s selective memory
  • Confirmation bias
  • Anti-mutant cancer goo
  • Ironic reversals
  • Wolverine, the most marketable mutant
  • Evil British accents
  • The most adaptable Spider-Man / X-Men crossovers
  • The X-Men and the newspaper funnies

NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor mourns and moves on.

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 257 – The Adventures of Rachel Summers in the 37th Century

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Nero’s preferred method of execution is smothering her victims under a mountain of word balloons. (X-Men: Phoenix #1)
There’s got to be a timeline where he took up a more wholesome hobby, like paint-by-number or rugmaking. (X-Men: Phoenix #1)
TBH, this is pretty much what happened last time I tried to buy a used car, too. (X-Men: Phoenix #1)
The Order of Witnesses is basically the Watchers but smaller and with more clothing. (X-Men: Phoenix #1)
Still hard to believe this is a published cover. (X-Men: Phoenix #2)
Rachel X-Plains the fledgling Askani fellowship. (X-Men: Phoenix #2)
PHOENIX POWERS, GO! (X-Men: Phoenix #2)
Aw, Rachel. (X-Men: Phoenix #3)
This kid is actually Tanya Trask, because, comics. (X-Men: Phoenix #3)
Variations on a theme. (X-Men: Phoenix #3)
You’d think this would be a major story point; but, nah. (X-Men: Phoenix #3)
NEXT EPISODE: The mutant agenda hits the funny pages!

LINKS & FURTHER PLANS:

257 – The Adventures of Rachel Summers in the 37th Century

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Rachel Summers’ continuity somehow becomes even more complicated; X-Men: Phoenix is pretty much a Star Wars (minus the stars); cultural appropriation remains a problem in the distant future; we are surprisingly into the origins of the Askani; and you should totally come see us at FlameCon!

X-PLAINED:

  • Several Rachels Summers who may or may not actually be the same Rachel Summers
  • Time, somewhat
  • Gaunt
  • Jay & Miles at FlameCon 2019
  • X-Men: Phoenix #1-3
  • Bird stuff
  • What happened after Rachel got sucked into the timestream
  • High Councilor Diamanda Nero
  • An extremely poor choice of ornamentation
  • Luminesca
  • Ch’vayre
  • The origins of Blaquesmith
  • A questionable alias
  • Diogenes Chang
  • The Order of Witnesses
  • A rad team
  • Malachai Hark
  • Qua
  • Lexii
  • Ozana
  • The word “Askani”
  • The Hellhole
  • A resurrection
  • Penguins of Apocalypse
  • Sanctity (Tonya Trask)
  • A butt-on
  • The Phoenix Force and its hosts
  • Characters we’d like to see imported into comics from other X-media

NEXT WEEK: Jay & Miles take a week off.

NEXT EPISODE: Adventures in the funnypages!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

COME SEE US AT FLAMECON!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 256 – Mullets of Time and Space

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Listen to the podcast here!

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Always aspire to a higher level of time paradox! (Excalibur #75)
How much extra creepiness does this already creepy scene get from the bolding of “his”? (Excalibur #75)
It’s his girlfriend. He called and asked her to come over. There is literally no reason that this should be so mysterious and pseudo-suspenseful. (Excalibur #75)
You do you, Amanda. (Excalibur #75)
PITCH: “What if only Captain Britain’s arms had returned from the timestream?” (Excalibur #75)
If you need me, I will be over here having FEELINGS about the lack of official acknowledgement of this relationship. (Excalibur #75)
“I was going to have some really dubious facial hair.” (Excalibur #75)
This better be worth it. (Excalibur #75)
[Ron Howard narrator voice] It was not worth it. (Excalibur #75)
GET IT? GET IT? GET IT? (Excalibur #75)
I hope you’re happy in the life you’ve chosen for yourself. (Excalibur #76)
“I mean, for some value of the term.” (Excalibur #76)
Well, that’s portentous. (Excalibur #76)
This is UNQUESTIONABLY the face of a man who has attempted to eat a toaster, a tube of lipstick, and several telephones. (Excalibur #76)
Nightcrawler, in his moppet days. (Excalibur #76)
I don’t understand D’Spayre’s torso muscles; and, frankly, I don’t care to. (Excalibur #76)
SEE WHAT I MEAN?! (Excalibur #77)
D’Spayre’s only weaknesses are joy and, by remarkable coincidence, children named Amil. (Excalibur #77)
WHAT?! (Excalibur #77)
The cutest pin-up. (Excalibur #77)
NEXT EPISODE: The adventures of Rachel Summers in the 37th Century!

LINKS & FURTHER LISTENING:

256 – Mullets of Time and Space

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Podcast: Play in new window | Download

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which you raised a lot of money for Trans Lifeline; we continue to miss Alan Davis; Rory Campbell should not be narrating a climactic event; Daytripper needs to dial up her eldritch patter; the universe is dubiously self-correcting; Britannic is not nearly weird enough; and we have ongoing concerns about the anatomy of incarnate concepts.

X-PLAINED:

  • The X-Men of Earth-77995
  • Excalibur #75-77
  • Daytripper
  • A somewhat pointless sacrifice
  • Rough times in the timestream
  • Britannic
  • X-theology
  • D’Spayre’s butt
  • The rest of D’Spayre
  • Margali Szardos
  • The blood-brain barrier
  • Acrobatic flirtation
  • The Winding Way
  • Stark emptiness
  • A shocking possible resurrection
  • Major X
  • Essential characters

NEXT EPISODE: The Adventures of Rachel Summers in the 37th Century!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 255 – Rules of the Game

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
On one hand: Yes, it’s still a cool design. On the other hand: Remember when it wasn’t sexualized? (X-Force #32)
Any resemblance to Bill Watterson is entirely incidental, probably, maybe. (X-Force #32)
Oh. THEM. (X-Force #32)
Meanwhile in X-Men #29… (X-Force #32)
Meanwhile in a cameo in X-Men #29… (X-Force #32)
Paige Guthrie, during the two pages when she could briefly turn into a bird. (X-Force #32)
Yeah, that swimsuit is… improbable. (X-Force #32)
Fitzroy, now with knock-off Transformer armor! (X-Force #32)
The Gamesmaster X-Plains the current round. (New Warriors #45)
KARMA! We missed you!! (New Warriors #45)
You… you sure just said that, didn’t you? (New Warriors #45)
OH, SNAP. (New Warriors #45)
It kind of feels like a waste that he didn’t say “Let me slip into something more comfortable.” (X-Force #33)
DON’T PUT HUSK IN A CORNER! (X-Force #33)
Oh, no! Not… an unnecessarily complicated radial containment array! (X-Force #33)
Aw, Shinobi. (X-Force #33)
Bold of you to imply that you ever do otherwise. (New Warriors #46)
I considered zooming waaaay in and seeing if I could recognize anyone in this, but then I decided not to. (New Warriors #46)
Paige Guthrie plays to win. (New Warriors #46)
This is… a really, really big dangling thread. Dangling rope, maybe. (New Warriors #46)
NEXT EPISODE: Mullets of time and space!

LINKS & FURTHER LISTENING

255 – Rules of the Game

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which the Upstarts are the worst at Calvinball; Moonstar remains a non-mystery; Speedball gets a new costume; Shinobi Shaw never gets to finish a bath; Gamesmaster comes perilously close to getting context; Cable gets a new superpower; and Rahne Sinclair is too good for your crossover.

X-PLAINED:

  • The time Husk went evil
  • An anniversary
  • A guest appearance
  • X-Force #32-33
  • New Warriors #45-46
  • A crossover
  • A game
  • Younghunt
  • The semi-debut of Paige Guthrie
  • Deeply uncomfortable bathing-suit choices
  • A toy that never actually existed
  • The New Warriors
  • Justice (Vance Astrovik)
  • Night Thrasher (Dwayne Taylor)
  • Nova (Rich Rider)
  • Silhouette (Sil Chord)
  • Kymaera
  • Speedball (Robbie Baldwin)
  • Rage (Elvin Haliday)
  • Firestar (Angelica Jones) (more) (again)
  • A plan
  • Bantam
  • A lot of mind control
  • A very ambiguous game and its potential implications
  • Favorite ads
  • The narrative economy of resurrection

NEXT EPISODE: Mullets of time & space!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 254 – Carry Each Other

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Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
All these years, Miles thought he was quoting Jean Grey, but it turned out to be Oscar Wilde. AS USUAL. (X-Men: The Wedding Album)
“Dammit, Logan never made me talk about feelings!” (X-Men: The Wedding Album)
Green ain’t your color anyway, kid. (X-Men: The Wedding Album)
I love every aspect of this segment except for every aspect of its format. Except the Jubilee silhouette at the top, that part’s pretty cool. (X-Men: The Wedding Album)
Ian Churchill, please draw more things. (X-Men: The Wedding Album)
Jean’s had tentacles for arms, so I guess legs like that aren’t that weird. (X-Men: The Wedding Album)
At last, indeed. (X-Men #30)
“I’m the best there is at what I do, and what I do is write real pretty.” (X-Men #30)
Oh god Excalibur #75 comes right after this (X-Men #30)
Aww, these guys. (X-Men #30)
Keep this panel in case you ever need to tie a bow tie! (X-Men #30)
Everyone. (X-Men #30)
These two. (X-Men #30)
Perfect vows, part 1. (X-Men #30)
Perfect vows, part 2. (With bonus second-best-kiss-ever.) (X-Men #30)
See? It is wholly appropriate, Bono. (X-Men #30)
Let’s just not think about how Logan wrote that. (X-Men #30)
Family. (X-Men #30)
Dammit, Rogue! (X-Men #30)
Double dammit, Gambit! (X-Men #30)
Tears every time. (X-Men #30)
Scott’s only been married a few hours and he’s already so much better at feelings! (X-Men #30)
You’re right, Kitty! Reality does bite! (X-Men: The Wedding Album)
Warren Kenneth Worthington III, this is not the time or place! At all! (X-Men: The Wedding Album)
Shatterstar tries. (X-Men: The Wedding Album)
Sean Cassidy: banned from every karaoke bar on the east coast. (X-Men: The Wedding Album)
Kurt’s still got it. Obviously. (X-Men: The Wedding Album)
NEXT EPISODE: Well, at least the cover’s sparkly.

254 – Carry Each Other

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Nicole Miller is fashion designer to Earth-1218 and Earth-616, Jay rejects the word “bestest”, we kind of want to just read every word of X-Men #30 aloud, One is a perfect wedding song for Scott and Jean, and you save the last dance for who brought you.

X-PLAINED:

  • The perils of animated weddings
  • X-Men: The Wedding Album
  • Nonstandard trim sizes
  • Misattributed Oscar Wilde quotes
  • Shatterstar’s favorite Olympic event
  • Jean Grey’s short-lived modeling career
  • Computo, Commander of the Robot Hive
  • A most excellent wedding dress
  • Cursive fonts in comics
  • Jean Grey and Jubilation Lee, ambiguously excellent chosen family
  • X-Men #30
  • An event decades in the making
  • Wolverine, Master of Penmanship
  • Charles Xavier, reader stand-in
  • The largely forgotten Madelyne Pryor
  • The understandably tentative Rachel Summers
  • The bow-tie scene
  • A phenomenal two-page spread
  • A set of perfect vows
  • A bittersweet song for a bittersweet couple
  • Victor Creed, vengeful kitty-cat
  • Rogue and Gambit, best worst wedding guests
  • Video albums vs. Instagram
  • Beast and Banshee, jazz combo
  • Scott and Jean as a couple vs. individuals
  • The necessity of Scott and Jean’s relationship context

NEXT EPISODE: Goodbye, Phoenix. Hello, Britanic.

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, or your favorite podcatcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!