Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

316 – Return to Megalopolis: At the Movies with the New Mutants

December 6, 2020 Jay 16 comments

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we review the New Mutants’ film debut.

NEXT EPISODE: Rogue, Gambit, and feelings!

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HAWK TALK – Surviving the (Holiday) Experience

November 29, 2020 Miles 18 comments

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This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, we talked about holidays, winter and otherwise.

Topics, roughly:

Time, which used to make sense
Several holidays and feelings, media, and traditions related thereto
Flash Gordon
Mixed-faith families
A New York Christmas Wedding (the lesbian time travel gay dead baby angel movie)
Gingerbread
Secular rituals
Night in the Woods: Lost Constellation
The Dark is Rising (again)
The Spirit of Christmas (which is to say, exploding)
J. Michael Strazynski’s The Real Ghostbusters
Community‘s first three holiday specials
Justice League: Comfort & Joy
Passover and that time Moses gave Pharaoh a frog
Passover and Miles trying very hard to play it cool
Chocolate bunny funerals
Easter basket comics
Being excellent to each other and partying on

Links and further reading:

In Defense of Humbug by Jay Smooth

As Mentioned in Episode 315 – Theater Is Dead

November 22, 2020 Jay One comment

Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

That Wolverine shadow looming over the title has a serious Maurice Sendak vibe. (Wolverine and Gambit: Victims #1)

I know the whole point is for the shadow to be menacing, but how funny would it be if Wolverine were just freakin’ huge in this series, for no reason? (Wolverine and Gambit: Victims #1)

Don’t smoke in the Danger Room, Gambit. It’s not supposed to be THAT kind of danger! (Wolverine and Gambit: Victims #1)

This is a good version of Gambit; I will give the series and Sale that much. (Wolverine and Gambit: Victims #1)

I dunno; the exploding cards might make that difficult. (Wolverine and Gambit: Victims #1)

SEE WHAT I MEAN?! (Wolverine and Gambit: Victims #2)

Viper called; she wants to know what you did with her entire look. (Wolverine and Gambit: Victims #2)

YES, LOGAN, IT MATTERS VERY MUCH. (Wolverine and Gambit: Victims #2)

Well, then. (Wolverine and Gambit: Victims #2)

I’m pretty sure the subtext here is that Gambit’s gonna do a sex with that painting. (Wolverine and Gambit: Victims #3)

The end. (Wolverine and Gambit: Victims #3)

X-Men ’92 did it better. (Wolverine and Gambit: Victims #4)

Mastermind X-Plains the plot. (Wolverine and Gambit: Victims #4)

Dudes, man. (Wolverine and Gambit: Victims #4)

That’s certainly one take on Sarte. (Wolverine and Gambit: Victims #4)

NEXT EPISODE: Hawk Talk!

LINKS & FURTHER CRIMES:

315 – Theater Is Dead

November 22, 2020 Jay 6 comments

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In which Jay and/or patriarchy ruin everything; Archangel is dubiously aspirational; we need a moratorium on Jack the Ripper stories; there are a lot of Masterminds; and Arcade is a whole bundle of psychosexual weirdness.

X-PLAINED:

Tom Malverne (Jack the Ripper)
Lunch
Wolverine and Gambit: Victims #1-4
Loeb & Sale
Jack the Ripper in fiction
Alexandra Davies
Fun on international flights
That one time Jay thought the NSA was going to come for him
Martinique Wyngarde (Mastermind II)
Mastermind, Mastermind, and Lady Mastermind disambiguation
Collateral damage
Various Dies Hard
Several heists
Several hallucinations
Variations on the death of Miss Locke
Problematic third brothers

NEXT EPISODE: Hawk Talk!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 314 – Feelings, Alaska

November 16, 2020 Jay 3 comments

Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Of course, that’s also exactly what a hologram would say. (X-Factor #115)

WHY DOES FORGE HAVE ALL THIS STUFF SAVED IN HIS HOLODECK? (X-Factor #115)

I’m putting all three pages of this flashback in the visual companion, because, while this scene has been shown roughly a zillion times, this one is the gold standard. (X-Factor #115)

This scene is ALSO a pretty good thumbnail guide to how to write Alex Summers and why. (X-Factor #115)

And that’s that, folks! (X-Factor #115)

“I mean, why do YOU come to Alaska? (X-Factor #115)

HECK YEAH (X-Factor #115)

THESE DORKS I LOVE THEM (X-Factor #115)

*wipes away a single tear* (X-Factor #115)

MILES WAS RIGHT. I stand corrected. -J (X-Factor #116)

Shard is cool, but she’d be cooler if she weren’t a cop. (X-Factor #116)

WHAT?! Superheroes trying to TALK through a misunderstanding? Surely Alpha Flight will jump straight to the punching, at least. (X-Factor #116)

…NOPE. (X-Factor #116)

Uncalled for, Roma. (X-Factor #117)

Seriously, don’t sic a sentinel on your team *because you’re not sure one of its members can adequately control his powers.* (X-Factor #117)

I’m pretty sure Random mostly wants a Jolt Cola(TM) and a Sega CD. (X-Factor #117)

…THEY FIGHT CRIME! (X-Factor #118)

Seriously, Random, nobody cares. (X-Factor #118)

Ah, yes, the flaming chasms of… somewhere. (X-Factor #118)

Well, that’s Random. (X-Factor #118)

NEXT EPISODE: Gambit & Wolverine!

LINKS & FURTHER MISUNDERSTANDINGS:

Lauretta Jean’s makes the best pie on earth, and Jay misses it desperately.
Wanna make comics? Wally Wood’s 22 Panels That Always Work are an incredibly useful resource.
We watched so much Sealab 2021 in college.
If you’re interested in the intersections of psychology and superhero comics, check out The Arkham Sessions!
PREVIOUSLY ON JAY & MILES X-PLAIN THE X-MEN
- For more about Scott and Alex’s origin story and picking which versions of canon count, check out Episode 308 – No Story Is the Whole Story.
- Hear about Roma and The Adversary’s last fight in Episode 86 – Legends.
- Dr. Andrea Letamendi joined us to discuss representations of mental illness and therapy in X-Factor in Episode 216 – X-Amining X-Factor.
- Our coverage of the Age of Apocalypse starts in Episode 287 – Welcome to the Age of Apocalypse…
- …and we focus on Cyclops and Havok’s relationship in that universe in Episode 292 – Weekend at Sinster’s.

314 – Feelings, Alaska

November 16, 2020 Jay 7 comments

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In which Haven deserved better; Cyclops and Havok have a lot of feelings in Alaska; X-Factor is the cop team; breaking up with your girlfriend between issues is a massive faux pas; Haven got a bad deal; no one cares about Random’s feelings; Spiral is weird Twitter; and Alex Summers once again fails to finish his dissertation.

X-PLAINED:

Chaos (Daniel Dash)
Pie
Power suits vs. power suits
X-Factor #115-118
Haven (more) (again)
The Adversary (more) (again)
Naze (more) (again)
Several people who may or may not be holograms
One of Jay’s all-time-favorite single issues
Howard Mackie
Wally Wood’s 22 Panels
The Summers Family plane crash
Cyclops and Havok’s relationship
Havok’s Silver Age origins
Trans readings of Alex Summers
Shard (more) (again)
Canadian drama
A trap
The return of Random
Roma (again)
Mojoworlders on social media
Which X-teens should be audience surrogates in a new animated series

NEXT EPISODE: Wolverine & Gambit!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 313 – Iguanafall

November 8, 2020 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the podcast here!

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Not even close, but go on. (Storm #1)

Spoiler: no. (Storm #1)

That is some weird-ass product placement. (Storm #1)

This is the worst panel. I hate it and everything it stands for. (Storm #1)

SERIOUSLY LOOK AT THOSE TEETH THIS IS NOT OKAY (Storm #1)

You’d think that context might salvage it. You would be wrong. (Storm #1)

The best character in this miniseries. (Storm #2)

Coooool. (Storm #2)

Misdirection or mistake? YOU BE THE JUDGE! (Storm #1)

I guess this counts as a malicious pose, but I feel like its main victims are her spine and ribcage. (Storm #2)

Hi, Callisto! Bye, Callisto! (Storm #2)

I refuse to accept this as “Daddy.” (Storm #2)

ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew (Storm #3)

Yeah, I don’t quite get it, either. (Storm #3)

“And I TRIPLE-DARE YOU!” (Storm #4)

Somewhere in the multiverse, there’s a timeline where Aidan Quinn was cast as Cable, and I want to go there. (Storm #4)

THIS IS NOT A GOOD WAY TO DISPOSE OF A BOMB WHOSE CONTENTS YOU DO NOT KNOW. (Storm #4)

Damn, Storm. Harsh. (Storm #4)

SURE WHY NOT LET’S JUST GO WITH THAT (Storm #4)

Really? You’re going to end your miniseries HERE? (Storm #4)

NEXT EPISODE: Jay has a lot of feelings about this issue of X-Factor

LINKS & FURTHER REPTILES:

This dress was weirdly central to the Internet Discourse of 2015.
We covered Lifedeath II in Episode 45 – A Woman Who Could Fly.
Here’s where you can find some of the more obscure stories we’ve X-Plained:

313 – Iguanafall

November 8, 2020 Jay 12 comments

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In which sky pirates are the best pirates; Wolverine eats chicken in the woods; Xavier’s area loses its status as our least favorite panel; Cable is suspiciously credulous; we search in vain for a consistent metaphor; Storm has a thing or two to learn about restorative justice; and this entire miniseries should probably just have been an annual.

X-PLAINED:

Storm’s pirate adventures
Storm #1-4
Mark Trail
The Morlocks (more) (again)
Unacceptable gradients
Butt murder
Fashion
Several memes of yesteryear
Product placement
The new Worst Panel
Several variations on the Ceremony of Light
How not to identify a body
The Hill (Limbo)
“Daddy”
The inconsistent portrayals of Mikhail Rasputin
Still more members of Gene Nation
A new costume
The most obscure stories we’ve covered
That time Wolverine at his own arm

NEXT EPISODE: Jay’s favorite issue of X-Factor (and some others)!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

312 – Something Amazing Had to Be Done, feat. Bob Proehl

October 25, 2020 Jay 2 comments

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In which author Bob Proehl joins Jay to discuss the Resonant Duology and what it means to write original work rooted visibly in the X-universe!

More Bob:

No visual companion this week, because we’re talking about word books!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!