Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 307 – Ugly Mootants Only

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
It’s okay. They’re just gonna end up in another dimension. Kind of. I guess. (Cable #15)
If Thornn had managed to catch her, would she have joined up with Artie and Leech to become an unstoppable triumvirate of moppets? The world may never know. (Cable #15)
NOW KISS (Cable #15)
The Ceremony of Light. (Cable #15)
In six years, Paige is definitely going to be the drunk girl standing outside the women’s bathroom and very sincerely telling everyone who goes in or comes out how beautiful they are. (Generation X #5)
Just don’t try any allogrooming and you’ll be okay. (Generation X #5)
I LOVE THIS TURTLE. (Generation X #5)
Not Davis, and that’s okay. (Generation X #5)
There is… a lot going on here. (Generation X #6)
You may have a lot of monitors, Dark Beast, but you’ll never top Cameron Hodge as Quintessential Villain with a Roomful of Monitors. (Generation X #6)
Bachalo draws such good Wolverine! (Generation X #6)
Next Episode: holy shit jay wrote an x-men comic

LINKS & FURTHER SHAMELESS PROMOTION:

  • You can find relevant info about X-Men: Marvels Snapshots #1 over here…
  • …and find a comics shop from which to purchase it here…
  • …or just go straight to our favorite, Books With Pictures!

307 – Ugly Mootants Only

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Cable has clearly inherited his father’s inability to go on a date that doesn’t end disastrously; Husk is a lightweight; we are very taken with a turtle; you really don’t want to run into the other Hemingway in an elevator, either; Jubilee can speak in logos; and Wolverine gives some fatherly advice.

X-PLAINED:

  • One way to get your powers back
  • Cable #15
  • Generation X #5-6
  • X-Men: Marvels Snapshots #1 (Coming September 16)
  • Cable, in general
  • A date
  • “Sheer” fabrics
  • What we’d bring to desert islands
  • Sarah (Marrow)
  • The Ceremony of Light
  • Several generations of mutant teenagers
  • Generation X and its members (more) (again)
  • Chamber’s socks
  • Gateway’s taste in television
  • Husk’s extremely low alcohol tolerance
  • Some cool lettering
  • Banshee is to Chris Bachalo as Nightcrawler is to Alan Davis
  • Fridge wolves
  • NYC celebrity encounters
  • The ongoing legacy of X-kids with gross powers
  • Teenagers
  • Hemingway, but not that Hemingway
  • The return of Artie and Leech
  • Bones
  • How we would incorporate the X-Men into the MCU

NEXT EPISODE: Snapshots!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

 

HAWK TALK – Playing With Super Power (feat. Matthew Hunter)

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This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, our producer Matthew Hunter subbed in for Jay and he and Miles talked about the video games they grew up on!

Topics, roughly:

  • Crystalis
  • Power Blade
  • Fighting robots (in general)
  • Super Mario World
  • F-Zero
  • Final Fantasy II (which is to say IV)
  • Street Fighter II
  • Rockin’ Kats
  • Shatter Hand
  • Battletoads
  • Lemmings
  • The Incredible Machine
  • The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past
  • Turtles in Time
  • Mario Paint
  • Doom
  • Secret of Mana
  • Mega Man X
  • Disney adaptations
  • Final Fantasy III (which is to say VI)
  • Donkey Kong Country
  • Super Punch Out
  • Illusion of Gaia
  • BioForge
  • DWANGO (Dial-up Wide-Area Network Game Operation)
  • Full Throttle, Quest For Glory, Gabriel Knight…
  • Wild ARMs
  • Wipeout
  • Stun Runner
  • Resident Evil
  • Final Fantasy VII
  • Fallout
  • Parasite Eve
  • Xenogears
  • Baldur’s Gate
  • Tetris DX
  • Pokémon (Blue)
  • LUNAR
  • Silent Hill

You can find Matt on Twitter and his music on Bandcamp!

As Mentioned in Episode 306 – Between Here and There

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Kids, send in your answers for a prize! (Uncanny X-Men #322)
Pink was IN for pretty much all projectiles in 1995. (Uncanny X-Men #322)
Jeez, Warren, get over it. Everyone has to wear a mask these days. It’s not that hard. (Uncanny X-Men #322)
Now I want to see what Bishop would think of Mandy. (Uncanny X-Men #322)
I really like Jean’s family. Shame what Claremont did to them in 2006. (Uncanny X-Men #322)
Getting punched by the Juggernaut is a way quicker method of depilation than waxing or electrolysis. (Uncanny X-Men #322)
Uncanny X-Men #12-13 could’ve been cut down to about a page and a half if Psylocke had been around. (Uncanny X-Men #322)
Sigh. (Uncanny X-Men #322)
This page was very important to young Miles. (Uncanny X-Men #323)
Okay, who spiked the Danger Room? (Uncanny X-Men #323)
X-Force’s former leader, folks. (Uncanny X-Men #323)
Low blow, Trish. (Uncanny X-Men #323)
On one hand, Iceman is a loyal and caring friend. On the other hand, he calls himself The Bobster. It kind of evens out. (Uncanny X-Men #323)
Logan, this is how we got banned from Denny’s, remember? (Uncanny X-Men #323)
The Container Crew. (Uncanny X-Men #323)
DC’s Azrael only wishes he could look this cool. (Uncanny X-Men #324)
Look at my teeth! LOOK AT THEM! (Uncanny X-Men #324)
Would’ve been funnier if it was a vampire bar. (Uncanny X-Men #324)
You said it, Logan. (Uncanny X-Men #324)
1.5 stars in Yelp’s morgue section (Uncanny X-Men #324)
This Fall on CBS! (Uncanny X-Men #324)
Letting Bobby’s call go to voicemail? Jeez, this is almost as bad as that time she blew up a pony! (Uncanny X-Men #324)
NEXT TIME: Hey, it’s these kids!


LINKS & FURTHER ATROCITIES:

306 – Between Here and There

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we continue our ongoing tour of the post-Age of Apocalypse X-Universe; Onslaught gets a name; nobody’s sure what Noah Dubois is doing there; Iceman gets to be the practical one, for once; T&A should not generally appear on the same visual plane; someone needs to talk to Cannonball about kink safety; and Emma Frost lets a call go to voicemail.

X-PLAINED:

  • Tarzan fandom
  • X-Man, summarized
  • Uncanny X-Men #322-324
  • Color as a narrative tool
  • The evolution of Storm’s shower etiquette
  • How not to relax with Lucas Bishop
  • Seat-of-the-pants plotting
  • Parenting
  • Noah Dubois, sort of
  • A road trip
  • Sexiness vs. sexualization
  • Emma Frost as Caprica Six
  • How not to walk a supervillain
  • Cannonball’s uniform
  • Sack
  • Vessel
  • Greycrow (more) (again)
  • The worst morgue and/or disco ever
  • Edna and Norton McCoy
  • Times Rogue has absorbed Colossus’s powers
  • X-Men: Marvels Snapshot

NEXT EPISODE: Generation X

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 305 – The Sleep of the Wicked

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
That logo! That art! If this era was as good as the cover that started it, we’d be in great shape. (X-Factor #112)
Half cyborg. Half samurai. All toothy. (X-Factor #112)
Wild Child: like Wolverine, but stylish! (X-Factor #112)
“I walked here all the way from Havok & Wolverine: Meltdown, and boy, are my legs tired! And also very long!” (X-Factor #112)
Aww, Random. (X-Factor #112)
Mystique is actually laughing her ass off three blocks away. (X-Factor #112)
How else is someone in an X-Factor comic supposed to enter a room? Through the door? (X-Factor #112)
Havok’s woozy-bubbles are the best woozy-bubbles. (X-Factor #112)
Speaking of Polaris, did you see what her actress from The Gifted said on Twitter? (X-Factor #113)
As an information technology professional, Miles can confirm that BLAMPF (X-Factor #113)
Seriously, what the hell did Fatale build that thing out of? (X-Factor #113)
Yukio is reminded of her first date with Storm. (X-Factor #113)
Bad cop, worse cop. (X-Factor #113)
Havok is reminded of his first date with Polaris. (X-Factor #113)
Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day (X-Factor #113)
…and neither will we, because Scarlett hasn’t shown up since this panel. (X-Factor #113)
Mystique is the only one happy about this arrangement. Well, maybe not happy, but smug. (X-Factor #114
It’s like Banshee and Emma Frost if they hated each other way more! (X-Factor #114)
I mean, it’s pretty much Freedom Force with all of the pretense removed. (X-Factor #114)
Dig that panel layout. (X-Factor #114)
What did I mention about smug? (X-Factor #114)
Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day, Part Two (X-Factor #114)
And here I thought X-Force was the only comic using romance comic panels in 1995. (X-Factor #114)
Poor bastard doesn’t stand a chance. (X-Factor #114)
Why yes, I do subscribe to World Wide Web! (X-Factor #113)
NEXT TIME: Buckle up.

LINKS & FURTHER BACKSTORY

305 – The Sleep of the Wicked

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which X-Factor gets its own roster shakeup; most bartenders will look at you funny if you order a flight of superheroes; Kaboom is a great name for a nightclub; we lack significant feelings about the clone saga; Yukio probably sends love to everyone’s girlfriends; Forge has terrible coping mechanisms; and Jay’s current life is not conducive to consistent acoustics (sorry!).

X-PLAINED:

  • Mystique’s powers
  • X-Factor’s new roster
  • X-Factor #112-114
  • The word “wreak”
  • The issue that made Miles stop reading X-Men
  • Wild Child (Kyle Gibney)
  • Wolverine as a role
  • Cyburai (more) (again)
  • Unethical management practices
  • One way to be drunk on power(s)
  • Scarlett McKenzie (again)
  • Club Kaboom
  • Yukio (again)
  • Fatale
  • Summers Problems(TM)
  • Marvel’s 1996 reader survey
  • A bondage harness that may or may not be made out of dryer tubing
  • Alex Summers vs. his own powers
  • Sugar Man in the 616
  • Several potential but unexplored story hooks for Scarlett
  • An implausible implant
  • Mystique’s new costume
  • A deeply dysfunctional but narratively plausible ship
  • A Random tangent
  • RPF on Earth-616
  • Forge vs. Tony Stark

NEXT EPISODE: Things get Uncanny!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 304 – Explosive Ops

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Next up: this cover sadly walking away from a gathered crowd of additional copies of this cover. (X-Force #44)
They’re about five minutes away from standing on each other’s shoulders and wearing a big trench coat to seem like an adult. (X-Force #44)
All of the elements of a relaxing vacation: an idyllic cottage, a beautiful forest, adorable animals, a tiny speedo… (X-Force #44)
“Also, I’m going to need you to start doing machines. You’ve been cool but rude for too long.” (X-Force #44)
“Ah’m nigh invulnerable when Ah’m excited!” (X-Force #44)
Morally yellow and purple. (X-Force #44)
“DOOM”? Are we looking at Caliban and Sabretooth or Surtur and his anvil? (X-Force #45)
Adam Pollina draws some pretty great faces. (X-Force #45)
“Every time he seems to be ready to come down, he loses count of his pouches and has to start all over again.” (X-Force #45)
If you asked me what X-book would look most like a romance comic in 1995, I would not have predicted X-Force. (X-Force #45)
Perhaps it’s not a coincidence that the character Mimic has spent the most time with in the preceding decade was the Hulk. (X-Force #45)
Rutland, Vermont: not just a frequent setting of 1970s Marvel and DC comics, but totally a real place! (Avengers #119)
“Is that..? Couldn’t be. But who else has that topknot and ‘burns combo?” (X-Force #46)
And that’s why you always leave a note. (X-Force #46)
These animals look way more judgmental than the ones in the last hologram. (X-Force #46)
“This new hair gel… When it says ‘apply sparingly’, it means it.” (X-Force #46)
“What? Someone on your team now has more pouches than me? I’ll be right over!” (X-Force #46)
Reminds me of my first car. (X-Force #47)
Aww, kid. (X-Force #47)
I’m not sure why Adam Pollina sometimes randomly gives us art nouveau backgrounds, but I’m not complaining. (X-Force #47)
Jeez, now I’m scared to go outside. (X-Force #47)
Aww not this again (X-Force #47)
This haircut! Bring back this exact haircut! (Longshot Saves the Marvel Universe #1)
NEXT TIME: The kinda-new, sorta-different X-Factor.

LINKS & FURTHER NONSENSE:

  • Rutland, Vermont had multiple Marvel and DC stories set in it during the 1970s – but it’s also a real place. Apologies for telling everyone it was imaginary, and thank you to all the listeners who kindly pointed out that it wasn’t!

304 – Explosive Ops

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Jay discovers a continuity loop; phonetic spelling reaches a new level of implausibility; it’s always already Onslaught; X-Force’s roster gets shaken up; Siryn goes undercover; and the Upstarts remain vaguely plot-relevant despite our fervent wishes.

X-PLAINED:

  • Mimic (Calvin Rankin)
  • Wing problems
  • X-Force #45-47
  • One of Adam Pollina’s more remarkable non-Marvel art credits
  • One of many homages to the cover of X-Men #138
  • X-Force, its members, and its recent history
  • Phonetic spelling
  • Warpath’s hair
  • Baffling managerial decisions
  • Whether Reed Richards is machine washable
  • Many pouches
  • An unlikely friendship
  • Sabretooth’s state of mind
  • Rutland, VT
  • The Weisman Institute for the Criminally Insane
  • Dr. Rachel Weisman
  • Jeremy Stevens
  • Part of why we like following X-books over time
  • Character redesigns

CORRECTION: In addition to being the setting of a number of 1970s Marvel and DC stories, Rutland, VT is actually a real place with a famous annual (and largely superhero-themed) Halloween parade!

NEXT EPISODE: What X-Factor’s been up to

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

HAWK TALK – Video Renaissance

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This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, we talked about the movies we grew up on!

Topics, roughly:

  • The glories of VHS
  • Flight of Dragons
  • Fantastic Planet
  • Star(s), both Wars and Trek
  • The Princess Bride, which is objectively perfect
  • The Dark Crystal
  • My Dinner With Andre (again)
  • The Crow
  • Barbarella, Queen of the Galaxy
  • Help
  • Yellow Submarine
  • Wayne & Garth & Bill & Ted
  • Defending Your Life
  • Ghostbusters
  • Various musicals