Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

337 – Wild Genes and Old Magic

June 20, 2021 Jay 15 comments

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Excalibur is beset by shady organizations; Nightcrawler gets a new look; nobody hates Pete Wisdom as much as Lockheed hates Pete Wisdom; Brian Braddock should not be allowed to dress himself; Excalibur invades Black Air; and Onslaught continues to lurk.

X-PLAINED:

Some countries Magneto has invaded
Excalibur #96-99
Black Air (more) (again)
The London branch of the Hellfire Club
Nightcrawler’s new look
Meggan’s new look
The return of Alistaire Stuart
How not to dress for the Hellfire Club
The Shadow Cabinet (a little)
Hacking
Agent Scratch
Avengers vs. Avengers
Addiction recovery
Accreditation of the Xavier School
Developing a library X-collection

NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk!

NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor’s increasingly low recruitment standards!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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336 – Serpents in Eden, feat. Si Spurrier

June 13, 2021 Jay 16 comments

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In which writer Si Spurrier joins us to talk Nightcrawler, the unsustainability of Krakoa, bringing back Legion, the stuff growing on Dr. Nemesis’s head, Welsh accents, founding (and not founding) a mutant religion, and—yes—Onslaught.

NEXT EPISODE: Shady Secret Organization Team-Up!

Follow Si on Twitter!

The visual companion to this episode is Way of X #1-2.

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 335 – Bone Town

June 12, 2021 Jay One comment

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Aaaaand here we go! (X-Men/ClanDestine #1)

In which Professor Xavier should probably leave caves alone. (X-Men/ClanDestine #1)

“Sam, we hate to tell you this, but Bernard the Poet is actually awful.” (X-Men/ClanDestine #1)

Gracie Fuckin’ Gamble, y’all. (X-Men/ClanDestine #1)

Meet the Destines! (X-Men/ClanDestine #1)

If I had a dollar… (X-Men/ClanDestine #1)

This dimension sucks. (X-Men/ClanDestine #1)

ONWAAAAARD! (X-Men/ClanDestine #2)

Meanwhile, in the crossover… (X-Men/ClanDestine #2)

But wait! There’s more! (X-Men/ClanDestine #2)

Uh-oh… (X-Men/ClanDestine #2)

Don’t worry, it’s just an illusion. (X-Men/ClanDestine #2)

The plot thickens! (X-Men/ClanDestine #2)

Well… have fun, I guess. (X-Men/ClanDestine #2)

NEXT EPISODE: Way of Si Spurrier!

335 – Bone Town

June 6, 2021 Jay 13 comments

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In which we cover somewhat peculiar content under somewhat peculiar circumstances; nobody does it like Alan Davis; in this house, we appreciate Gracie Gamble; Bernard the Poet makes a comeback; nominal errors are not what they appear; and you should probably not leave your children with most of the X-Men.

X-PLAINED:

Ravencroft vs. Ravenscroft
Unusual recording circumstances
ClanDestine #1-8
X-Men/ClanDestine #1-2
Destines including but not limited to:
- Rory (Crimson Crusader)
- Pandora (Imp)
- Adam
- Walter
- Kay (Cuckoo)
- Dominic (Hex)
- Samantha (Argent)
- Newton
- Gracie Gamble
Elalyth
The Relative Stranger Protocol
Lenz
Dr. Hywel Griffin
GRYPHON
Earth-95710
Synraith
How normal people unwind
A dimensional rift and affiliated tentacles
How to draw sexy ladies without wrecking your comic
A big fight
X-sitters
The evolution of Hank McCoy’s personality

NEXT EPISODE: The Way of Si Spurrier

LISTENER CHALLENGE: Send your takes on the ’90s stylings of Bernard the Poet to xplainthexmen(at)gmail(dot)com, and we’ll publish ’em all in a deeply dubious poetic extravaganza!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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HAWK TALK – Wizards

May 30, 2021 Miles 19 comments

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This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, we talked about wizards.

Topics, roughly:

Fantasy wizards
Space wizards
Beards and wizards and gender
Vancian spellcasting
Wizard taxonomy
The Baal Shem
Book learnin’
Towers and Discworld wizards
Dragonlance wizards
Tolkien wizards
Iceman with a wizard beard
Which animals make the best wizards
Magic: the Gathering
Our wizardy D&D characters

As Mentioned in Episode 334 – Genetic Nonsense

May 23, 2021 Jay Leave a comment

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And you thought the brimstone dimension was rough… (Generation X #12)

Damnit, Emma. (Generation X #12)

Vincente! (Generation X #12)

And you thought your last time running into an ex went badly. (Generation X #12)

Miles likes this cover a lot more than Jay does. (Generation X #13)

Seriously, what IS that stuff? Masking tape?

I feel ya, Emplate. (Generation X #13)

IT WOULD BE BAD ENOUGH IF HIS GERMAN WERE CORRECT (Generation X #13)

I know it’s not supposed to be funny, but it’s extremely funny. (Generation X #13)

Throwing in one more panel of the arguing heads, just for the hell of it. (Generation X #13)

The dialogue only makes the coloring error more ironic. (Generation X #13)

Hi, Bishop! (Generation X #13)

Because you seemed likely to demand it… (Generation X #14)

That’s… kind of lackluster, honestly. (Generation X #14)

Murmur! (Generation X #14)

Emplate just looks confused as hell by the entire concept of fireworks. (Generation X #14)

NEXT EPISODE: ClanDestine!

334 – Genetic Nonsense

May 23, 2021 Jay 19 comments

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In which William Stryker is exceptionally difficult to kill; the terminology around Emplate’s powers is absolute nonsense even by comic-book standards; inkers deserve more credit; we would totally read comics about Murmur the Softpoken Mummy; Bishop comes to the rescue; and nothing really resolves.

X-PLAINED:

What happened to William Stryker
Gratuitous use of the adjective “genetic”
Emplate (again)
Generation X #12-14
Inks
Penance’s original backstory
Pining
A really unpleasant reunion
Accent problems
Gayle Edgerton
Vincente
Bulwark
D.O.A.
A somewhat chaotic victory
Mutant teams from non-anglophone countries
X-characters Miles would like to write

NEXT WEEK: HAWK TALK

NEXT EPISODE: ClanDestine!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 333 – Fight Train

May 23, 2021 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

I’d like to think he leaves her office like this afterwards. (Uncanny X-Men #331)

Just another Thursday on the PATH… (X-Men #51)

TFW you run into your boss outside of work and they make it weird. (X-Men #51)

…Somehow. (X-Men #52)

Remember that name; you’ll be sneering it later. (X-Men #52)

I wasn’t kidding when I said that Sinister kidnapped Bishop to find out if his ships were canon. (X-Men #52)

NEXT EPISODE: Emplate sucks!

333 – Fight Train

May 16, 2021 Jay 9 comments

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In which Miles discovers owl legs; Iceman dwells in subtext; Dark Beast overperforms; Daredevil is a delightful trash fire of a person; Graydon Creed’s presidential run is somewhat less shocking in 2021; Rogue does not enjoy playing ‘Got your nose’; and Mister Sinister is not a friend to public transportation.

X-PLAINED:

Post-Decimation resurrections
Owl legs
Uncanny X-Men #331
X-Men #51-52
Iceman’s complicated personal life
Casual crossovers
The facial hair of Warren Kenneth Worthington III
The terrible decisions of Matt Murdock
How to subtly test your in-laws for mutant powers
What Mister Sinister sounds like
A bad plan
The debut of Bastion
DNA
Foreshadowing

NEXT EPISODE: Emplate Sucks

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!