Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Web site remodeling

February 25, 2021 Miles 2 comments

You may have noticed changes to our website’s design yesterday and today – especially since you’re probably on the site while reading this!

We’ve been having stability issues with our site for a few months now, and our image gallery slideshows inexplicably broke a few weeks ago. We’re troubleshooting with DreamHost and hope to have things working much better soon.

We’ll also find a permanent theme (or improve this one) at that point, but alas, our previous theme is down for the count. It was discontinued many years ago and has never worked right on mobile, so we want to find something a bit more modern that still has the features everyone is used to. Please bear with us for a bit longer!

324 – Snack Attack

February 21, 2021 Jay 18 comments

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Cordelia Frost is a terrible friend; Mondo is better than the story arcs that surround him; and we’d really love to see a series about Sean Cassidy’s super groovy past.

X-PLAINED:

The one who got away
Generation X Annual 1995
Generation X #10-11
A failed seduction attempt
Mondo and a plant-based facsimile thereof
An emergency
The very personal and private journal of Monet St. Croix
A party
Omega Red (again)
Sean Cassidy’s Interpol days
An unlikely informant
A somewhat surreal monitoring system
The Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men Wiki

NEXT EPISODE: GHOST PIRATES!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 323 – Baby Talk

February 14, 2021 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Seriously–they look like little adults! (Pint-Sized X-Babies #1)

This gag was probably inevitable, honestly. (Pint-Sized X-Babies #1)

Enter the X-Babies! (Pint-Sized X-Babies #1)

I feel like public opinion of Sentinels would go way up if they looked like dinosaurs. (Pint-Sized X-Babies #1)

Arcade X-Plains the premise. (Pint-Sized X-Babies #1)

THIS IS REALLY DARK FOR WHAT IT IS. (Pint-Sized X-Babies #1)

Is this actually Sinister? We never really find out, but it’s gotta be, right? (Pint-Sized X-Babies #1)

Hooray! (Pint-Sized X-Babies #1)

…that’s a lotta X-Babies. (Pint-Sized X-Babies #1)

Absolutely iconic cover. (X-Babies: Reborn #1)

Damn good interior art, too. (X-Babies: Reborn #1)

Kirby’s art has leveled up exponentially between Murderama and Reborn; I particularly dig his Spiral. (X-Babies: Reborn #1)

Expanded geography of the Mojoverse. (X-Babies: Reborn #1)

Man, I wanna live in a closed-down theater! (X-Babies: Reborn #1)

The textbook sisters. (X-Babies: Reborn #1)

‘Vengers Assembly! (X-Babies: Reborn #1)

That it’s an obvious joke doesn’t stop it from being funny. (X-Babies: Reborn #1)

All-New Psychilde! (X-Babies: Reborn #1)

Seriously, who WOULDN’T read about the adventures of Baby Doom? (X-Babies: Reborn #1)

That Skottie Young cover! (X-Babies: Stars Reborn #1)

Mr. Veech and Nandy. (X-Babies: Stars Reborn #1)

Good times. (X-Babies: Stars Reborn #1)

Our first glimpse of the Star Comics characters. (X-Babies: Stars Reborn #1)

Planet Terry (Bowdlerized version). (X-Babies: Stars Reborn #1)

Wally and the Wizard (Bowdlerized version). (X-Babies: Stars Reborn #2)

Royal Roy (Bowdlerized version). (X-Babies: Stars Reborn #2)

Top Dog (Bowdlerized but still helpful version). (X-Babies: Stars Reborn #3)

The actual, exiled Royal Roy, Planet Terry, and Top Dog. (X-Babies: Stars Reborn #3)

oh shit (X-Babies: Stars Reborn #3)

And they all pretty much lived happily ever after, probably, I guess. (X-Babies: Stars Reborn #4)

NEXT EPISODE: Aging up to X-teens!

LINKS & FURTHER JUVENALIA

Who could ever forget cinematic icon Robert Cop?
Meredith McClaren would draw extremely kickass X-Babies.
Welcome to Westview: For all your WandaVision deep-dive needs!

323 – Baby Talk

February 14, 2021 Jay 12 comments

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In which we spend a large amount of time on a group of small characters; X-Babies stories cover a wide range of quality; Mojo is relegated to public access; the ‘Vengers rebel against their creator; the X-Babies excavate Star Comics; we adjust our opinion of the mid-‘90s; and WandaVision is probably not connected to the Mojoverse.

X-PLAINED:

Fun with blood
The X-Babies
Mojo
Pint-Sized X-Babies #1
X-Babies Reborn #1
X-Babies: Stars Reborn #1-4
The Brotherhood of Mutant Bullies
X-Baby nomenclature
The Pix
Hell’s Kitchen
The Wildways (more) (again)
Monkey Wagon
Bubblefield
Marshmallow Marsh
Gamesboro
The Textbook Sisters
The ‘Vengers
A transformation
Mr. Veech
Nandy
Star Comics and several characters therefrom
The Adorable X-Babies
Our opinions on the mid-‘90s
Welcome to Westview

NEXT EPISODE: X-Teens!

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Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

HAWK TALK – Call Any Vegetable

February 7, 2021 Miles 13 comments

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This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, we talked about vegetables. Kind of.

Topics, roughly:

Vegetables. Like we said.
Is Apocalypse a fruit?
Ghost vs. slime trees
Dwarves in the rutabagas
Ramen mishaps
How to be less terrible at cooking
Cherimoya, that weirdo

As Mentioned in Episode 322 – Do More Crimes

February 6, 2021 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Never let Gambit take you anywhere. (X-Men #46)

Jean, seriously, do you have any idea how old your niece and nephew are? (X-Men #46)

Bobby, no. (X-Men #46)

We have X-Babies. This is not a drill. (X-Men #46)

Charming, ain’t they? (X-Men #46)

Wait… who?! (X-Men #46)

HI, DAZZLER! (X-Men #47)

This whole issue feels kind of like a Western, helped along by this incredibly classic framing. (Uncanny X-Men #327)

“Okay, but also, your face is melting.” (Uncanny X-Men #327)

OH SNAP denied (Uncanny X-Men #327)

This is legitimately adorable. (Uncanny X-Men #327)

“Y’know… stuff.” (Uncanny X-Men #327)

NEXT WEEK: Hawk talk!

NEXT EPISODE: SOMEHOW, EVEN MORE X-BABIES!

LINKS & FURTHER MISDIRECTION:

True Believer: The Rise and Fall of Stan Lee, by Abraham Riesman, will be out February 16!

322 – Do More Crimes

January 31, 2021 Jay 18 comments

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In which the X-Babies fail to charm; clones are people, too; Iceman doesn’t (quite) come out; Gambit and Bishop bond; Joseph comes into ambiguous being; and Principal Nezu and Charles Xavier would probably get along okay.

X-PLAINED:

Inconsistent quality
X-Men #46-47
Uncanny X-Men #327
The X-Babies (more) (again)
Sfogliatelle
Gog
Gog’n’Magog
Politics of the Mojoverse
Personhood of constructed entities
What makes an X-Babies story work
Jay’s favorite episodes of The Muppet Show
Age-appropriate literature
Fictional books
Fun with Bishop
Several restaurants
Hypothetical casting
What Magneto’s been up to
Joseph
Sister Maria
Why Magneto gets de-aged a lot
Amnesia
Various orphans and individuals affiliated therewith
How to keep up with upcoming X-titles
A cross-media friendship
True Believer: The Rise and Fall of Stan Lee

NEXT EPISODE: HAWK TALK

THE ONE AFTER THAT: MORE X-BABIES SO MANY X-BABIES

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Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 321 – Revolving Doors

January 24, 2021 Jay One comment

Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Damn, those bunny slippers are intense.(X-Force #48)

Please note that Siryn has her own personal breeze. (X-Force #48)

“Y… you’re not?” (X-Force #48)

Large. (Uncanny X-Men #328)

LARGE. (Uncanny X-Men #328)

THAT IS NOT HOW YOU FIRST-AID A MAJOR ABDOMINAL WOUND (Uncanny X-Men #328)

We may never know why Professor X chose to install Cerebro in a Multi-Axis Trainer, but he certainly appears to have done so. (Sabretooth Special #1)

Dang, that’s a lot of drop shadows. (Sabretooth Special #1)

Deja vu all over again. We may never know why Professor X chose to install Cerebro in a Multi-Axis Trainer, but he certainly appears to have done so. (Sabretooth Special #1)

NEXT EPISODE: INTO THE CLONE ZONE!

321 – Revolving Doors

January 24, 2021 Jay 14 comments

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In which Sabretooth does not get effectively rehabilitated; nobody has the moral high ground; Val Cooper is the worst possible person to call in any emergency; Bishop needs a better support system; Jay knows several things about onions; and not everything has to be a mammal.

X-PLAINED:

Sabretooth (more) (again)
X-Force #48
Uncanny X-Men #328
Sabretooth Special #1
Bunny slippers
An intervention
Stages of grief
What not to do with Sabretooth
An evil squirrel
Onions
The three genders
Mutant Massacre callbacks
Caption disambiguation problems
The overabundance of boobs on fictional non-mammalian species

NEXT EPISODE: INTO THE CLONE ZONE!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 320 – The Accountability Wagon

January 17, 2021 Jay One comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

I know the cover blurb isn’t actually foreshadowing, but the cover blurb is kiiiinda foreshadowing. (Excalibur #91)

There’s writing a phonetic accent… and then there’s writing someone making fun of someone else’s accent, phonetically. (Excalibur #91)

Aw. (Excalibur #91)

For your Twitter fight needs. (Excalibur #91)

This is roughly how I react to having to share personal information with colleagues, too. (Excalibur #91)

They’re good friends. (Excalibur #91)

THE SUBTITLES THO (Excalibur #91)

Creeeeeepy. (Excalibur #91)

I know his teeth are also supposed to be steel, but they look just off enough from the rest of his face that I can’t shake the idea that they’re normal teeth, which idea is profoundly and inexplicably unsettling. (Excalibur #92)