Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 343 – The Water Cooler of Violence

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
LIES ALL LIES (X-Force #55)
(Probably not a LMD. This time.) (X-Force #55)
I’m not sure sound works like that, but it’s still cool. (X-Force #55)
And now you know how animated Wolverine feels. (X-Force #55)
Well, that’s one way to open a giant door. (X-Force #55)
Seriously, why is he in his underwear? (X-Force #55)
It’s really not any harder to believe than anything else in this comic. (X-Force #55)
Sacrelicious! (X-Force #56)
The Benjamin Russell storyline really doesn’t make any sense when you break it down… (X-Force #56)
I have nightmares like this. (X-Force #56)
IT WAS GAMESMASTER ALL ALONG SURE WHY NOT (X-Force #56)
We kinda forgot to cover this first time ’round. (X-Men Unlimited #8)
Puberty’s rough, buddy. (X-Men Unlimited #8)
“There’s a new mutant about to manifest! Let’s have the MOST UNSETTLING X-Man go follow him around!” (X-Men Unlimited #8)
Seriously, there is NO evidence at this point that it’s the word “mutant” that sends the kid running and not, say, the lightning. (X-Men Unlimited #8)
This is the part where it starts to feel like one of those books you could get in the ’80s with your kid’s name as the protagonist. (X-Men Unlimited #8)
See what I mean? (X-Men Unlimited #8)
“They usually bring you back in a dozen or so issues. Why?” (X-Men Unlimited #8)
And they all lived happily ever after.* *Joined the Thunderbolts, became Maverick, maybe blew up? (X-Men Unlimited #8)
NEXT EPISODE: Where no mutant has gone before!

LINKS & FURTHER CATASTROPHES:

343 – The Water Cooler of Violence

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which X-Force carries on the New Mutants’ tradition of property damage; a lot of people have infiltrated Helicarriers; G.W. Bridge makes it weird; Gamesmaster returns to no particular end; and we go back in time to cover the origins of Chris Bradley.

X-PLAINED:

  • The deaths of several Worthingtons
  • X-Force #55-56
  • X-Men Unlimited #8
  • A legacy of explosions
  • Uncanny X-Men #333 (briefly) (again)
  • A heist
  • Several of the many characters who had successfully infiltrated Helicarriers as of 1996
  • Dum Dum Dugan
  • Contessa Valentina Allegra de Fontaine
  • The glory days off LASER tag
  • Church fights
  • Subtext
  • The Weisman Institute for the Criminally Insane (more) (again)
  • How to pronounce “Risque”
  • Chris Bradley
  • Hans Jensen
  • Nostalgia goggles and their absence
  • Civilian awareness of cosmic Marvel
  • Asgard, Oklahoma
  • Annalee

NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk

NEXT EPISODE: Where No Mutant Has Gone Before

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As Mentioned in Episode 342 – Angry Birds

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Yes, it’s as dramatic as it looks. (Archangel #1)
…Kay. (Archangel #1)
Please enjoy the most Nic Cage Archangel you will ever see. (Archangel #1)
THIS guy. (Uncanny X-Men #333)
HOW DOES SHE STILL NOT MANAGE TO ASSOCIATE HIM WITH MAGNETO? (X-Men #53)
Oh, Juggernaut, no. (X-Men #53)
Revenge of X-Men #3. (X-Men #53)

342 – Angry Birds

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Miles does his best, birds are weird, some of the most dangerous villains are pink, and we are in the Onslaught Zone.

X-PLAINED:

      • Malibu Comics and Marvel Comics, sitting in a (multiversal) tree, KILLING
      • Archangel: Phantom Wings
      • Unorthodox artistic decisions
      • Archangel (Warren Kenneth Worthington III)
      • Angst, renewed
      • Bird ichor
      • Tuesday Bird and her Mad Max outfit
      • How (not?) to flirt
      • Uncanny X-Men #333
      • Various Roberts Kelly
      • Graydon Creed, doin’ Mom proud
      • Bastion, Nimrod, & Master Mold
      • Operation Zero Tolerance
      • X-Teams and their lanes
      • A naked murder-uncle
      • Pink villains
      • Obscure callbacks
      • Event synergy
      • X-Men #53
      • Day to-day challenges of telepathy
      • Super-Saiyan Magneto
      • Phoenix (Jean Grey), actual adult
      • Onslaught
      • That scene from 1964’s X-Men #3
      • A surprisingly insightful look at Professor X’s dark side
      • Logan’s assorted friendships with teen girls
      • XMEN Disease

NEXT EPISODE: X-Force gets, predictably, x-treme.

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 341 – Rainbow Connection

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Low-key obsessed with what the hell sound this baby is supposed to be making. (Generation X #15)
When your kid goes away to school and comes back… different. (Generation X #15)
These fucking guys. (Generation X #15)
I am happy and surprised to announce that Giovanni survives the story pretty much unscathed! (Generation X #15)
I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY HER BONES ARE VISIBLE THOUGH (Generation X #16)
Hi, Stan. (Generation X #17)
Oh, THAT guy. (Generation X #17)
Nobody draws rubble like Bachalo. (Generation X #17)
The genre-requisite hall of mirrors. (Generation X #17)
He somehow makes the X-Cutioner look… cool? (Generation X #17)
NEXT EPISODE: Rich-people problems.

341 – Rainbow Connection

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Chris Bachalo returns to Generation X; we briefly forget that Mondo exists; Synch is an extraordinarily good kid; not everybody gets a jetpack; Jubilee takes a turn as team strategist; Chamber has Onslaught problems; the X-Cutioner has no discernible dignity; the M does not stand for “metaphorical.”

X-PLAINED:

  • Jubilee’s aunt Hope
  • Generation X #15-17
  • Generation X (more) (again)
  • Emplates (more) (again)
  • An instance of possession
  • The Thomas family
  • Intersectional bias
  • Passing privilege
  • Narratively-determined technology
  • Giovanni the janitor
  • Synch vs. Mimic
  • An exceptionally slow-burn reveal
  • Possession as a vehicle for character development
  • The X-Cutioner (Carl Denti) (more) (again)
  • Metaphorical DNA
  • Fun times at the fair
  • Ruby quartz adaptive technology
  • Mutant names

NEXT EPISODE: Fun with flechettes!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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HAWK TALK – What We Blew Up On Our Summer Vacation

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This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, Miles and guest hawk Anna Sheffey talked about playing too much Resident Evil during lockdown.

As Mentioned in Episode 340 – Retconaganda

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(Press the “i” icon in the bottom-right to see captions in the gallery. It’s a known WordPress bug we’re still looking for a way around!)

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Welcome to the X.S.E., where moral ambiguity goes to die. (X.S.E. #1)
The villains in this series are exceptionally one-note even by comics standards. (X.S.E. #1)
I still can’t figure out what’s happening with the purple garment that Bishop and possibly also his grandmother are wearing. (X.S.E. #1)
Bishop has basically always been the same dude. (X.S.E. #1)
Hey, it’s Malcolm… (X.S.E. #2)
…and Randall! (X.S.E. #2)
I know the balloon at the top technically goes with the panel above, but it really looks like Fitzroy is just reciting his own name like a Pokémon. (X.S.E. #3)
De Witness. (X.S.E. #4)
Shackle’s costume is somewhat improbable. (X.S.E. #4)

340 – Retconaganda

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which the X.S.E. miniseries is future copaganda; Earth-1191 has no room for moral ambiguity; Bishop pulls a Marty McFly; Malcolm and Randall get distinct personalities; and you really shouldn’t give officers a symbol of authority that there’s no way to revoke.

X-PLAINED:

  • Some of Bishop’s further adventures
  • X.S.E. #1-4
  • The future, sort of
  • Earth-1191 (more) (again)
  • The X.S.E. (more) (again)
  • Lucas Bishop (more) (again)
  • Shard Bishop (more) (again)
  • Grandmother (who may or may not be Storm)
  • Hancock (who may or may not be Cyclops)
  • The deeply baffling Bishop family tree
  • The fallability of childhood memory
  • Exhumes
  • Dubious reclamation
  • Heca’te
  • The Witness (more) (again)
  • Trevor Fitzroy (more) (again)
  • Several potential continuity errors
  • Malcolm and Randall (more) (again)
  • Emplates
  • Shirley
  • Mexican-American mutants
  • A cross-media quote

NEXT EPISODE: The return of Carl the X-Cutioner

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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